Name: Cheap Billionaires! | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Uploaded: 2026-05-17T23:00:25.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Cheap Billionaires! | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2026-05-17. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Cheap Billionaires! | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2026-05-17. Transcript available.

Cheap Billionaires! | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Gang, here's a couple of fun ones.
Talking about Portland, Maine, Pittsburgh, PA, Cleveland, Ohio.
The boys are coming for a little AYG live.
Grab the squad, bring the hometown gang out, see the boys.
Yeah, it's some stand-up, plus we play AYG with the crowd.
You get a chance to ask us your garbage question live.
We shit on you.
It's a good time.
Tickets at RUGarbage.com.
We'll see you there.
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast.
This is RU Garbage.
Oh, yeah.
It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians.
And we find out if they grew up to be classy, they're just a big old piece of
trash.
Trash, trash, trash.
Yes, that's right.
I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day.
We're out back here at Tootie's in a new edition.
She's over at Walgreens.
Uh-huh.
Stealing me some corn of seed.
Because the bug man has got a little bug himself.
Honey, I laugh.
Dude, I can't laugh more than that.
That's crazy.
I'm such a dirtball.
I didn't care about the laugh.
I wanted to say, well, I hope you feel better.
I'm sorry.
Where's the sympathy for the devil around here?
I hope you feel better.
My co-host is coming at you from across the table.
This is what we call a family episode.
Uh-huh.
Family cares for one another.
Can you tell I'm trying to move merch?
Luke, hit me.
He's new.
Are you garbage contacts?
Are you garbage grills?
Yeah, I'm just hanging out with my favorite hat, my favorite mug, just chilling.
Stink.
You look like Ron Howard, making a bad movie.
I know.
Isn't he?
I feel that, dude.
That's how I feel.
I feel.
Got my dad hat.
My Bernie's dad.
That's what the kids are calling his dad hat.
That's my son.
He's gay.
Hey, put my kid in.
Your kid sucks.
I'm yelling at the coach.
Ah, yeah.
Of course the coach's son gets in.
A man who needs no introduction after all that.
Kevin, moving merch.
Guys, check out the official store over there.
Get him with a promo code, Kip.
First of all, thanks for tuning in.
That was by accident.
It truly was by accident.
However.
I got it.
I need to check out my new limited edition.
No, obviously by accident.
I've been using the mug as of recent.
Now I feel I have to defend myself.
I've been using the mug as of recent because we're out of the coffee.
I don't like those.
They're a little too small for me, the ones you got.
I like the other white ones.
How many Chevy Luminas do you need, Kevin?
I'm getting rid of the one I currently have.
Are you miss on it?
So it's $5,000 OBO.
Really?
That's your best offer.
That's a good car.
It runs well.
You hit the balls to put $5,000 on that thing?
What do you mean?
That's crazy.
$1,200.
It was more than that.
$1,200.
Okay.
I've been sitting there for two years.
Why is that all you got?
Not a penny more.
Do you like RU Garbage by any chance?
First of all, thanks for tuning in.
As always, please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes.
Full video available on YouTube.
Full video available over there on Spotify.
And the boys are climbing the frigging charts.
And obviously, the greatest website of all time, WW.
We were.
We were on iTunes as well.
I looked.
That Andrew Santino episode was like top 14 episodes.
Really?
Comedy interview podcast posted by two fat idiots.
The market's down right now.
And then obviously, the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com.
So I show you garbage.
You go over there and get all that bonus content and you can watch the full
length paintball
video.
Whoa.
Two operators.
The arena of death.
Uh-huh.
And the big man will shock you.
Nimble.
Stealth.
Pizza.
The guy was eating pizza mid-intro.
Crazy.
What do you mean?
I was hungry and that's a part of the shtick.
Uh-huh.
Let me tell you something.
The shtick.
I really, really committed to the bit, huh?
Committed to the bite.
I was really disappointed in that pizza.
A shitty pizza at an arcade?
Uh-huh.
Bummed out.
Sure.
They really let me down.
You got to get something.
I forgot.
I don't think we talked about it.
What?
You kept going.
Hey, guys.
I don't know if we ever talked about it.
You came over to me and you're like, hey, I was just talking to the snack bar
guy.
He says we got to make a move on this pizza if we want to get one of them.
Oh, yeah.
He said the next 10 minutes.
Everybody's like, nah, I think we're all right, man.
We're about to run and sweat and play war.
Then he was over for two more hours.
The guy bamboozled me.
Something like you would do with the merch.
Then you went back over and started talking to him.
And we're like, you're like, I don't know what the kid's like.
It's just like this fat, dumb kid.
He's like, yeah, I don't know, man.
He's like, are you going to buy a pizza or not?
If you come back over, he goes, listen, he said he could knock two bucks off
the price
for the pepperoni.
Yeah, you were fucking over there.
Dude, we kept looking over at the kid and the kid's like, I don't know, sir, do
you want
the pizza or not?
I don't know.
Just give me a hot dog.
I don't know what else to do.
He's throwing a box of goobers for me.
Sweetness deal, huh?
You fucking stink.
I'm not going to sign nothing, but my word is my bond.
How about a handshake, huh?
Blood brother, you cut yourself.
You spit in your hand.
Hand like the hand that firm ain't going anywhere.
Sir, we don't take that.
Well, my friend over there, he has all the money he's going to have to pay.
Can't pay.
Pay the man.
Did you take an expired American Express by any chance?
Oh, boy.
You got your tokens out.
What a fun day that was.
Paintball.
That was very fun.
Really?
Hey, you go over there and check it out.
Anybody that works for the active military, CIA, FBI.
If you're looking for a guy through the door, give me a call.
Okay?
And I can forward you someone's number.
Because it was in the Navy.
Woo!
Good times.
Yes.
Um, one thing we were talking about, I think you were complaining on air about
it, but also
recently off air was your, uh, I think disdain for, uh, Warren Buffett and his
modest, uh,
spending on McDonald's breakfast, right?
That was, that's, uh, and I'm rightfully, hey.
Oh, well, look at you.
No, to each their own.
That's all.
Oh, you don't, you think it's.
Fuck him.
Yeah, okay.
You should be buying sausage, egg, muffins for everybody.
All the kids on the school bus.
I don't disagree.
If the market's up, I get a sausage, egg, and cheese.
If the market's down, I get a sausage and cheese.
Yeah.
Ah, fuck you.
Guy, I'm thinking over here.
Now let's just get the sausage, scrape it off, and give it to me, okay?
I'll have his cheese.
I'll take his egg, please.
Well, can you pull up his actual order?
It's famous.
It's that thing.
It was that interview.
You know, it's, it's from a long, they taught that in business school.
Like, that's, that's how you do it.
He started out selling, like, bottle caps.
Some, he was a hustler from Jump Street.
I don't know if, I don't know if that's his origin story.
He was selling gum or something.
I'm sure he sold, I'm sure he sold a lot of things.
He, he used to intern.
He was a kid.
Ah, dude, I remember.
I'm so stupid.
I thought I knew one thing about him,
and I was at a, I was at a, a wedding and I was trying to impress this.
Cheeseburger and parrot head.
Fucking loser.
I'm a parrot head.
And there was this real, there was this real big finance guy, rich guy.
I was talking to him.
I was going to say a hot chick.
No.
That's what I'm talking about.
Your Warren Buffet history knowledge will really.
And he's like, yeah, I'm a big Warren Buffet fan.
I really like, he's like an idol of mine.
I'm like, you know, then I like threw out a fact and he's like, that's not true.
You know, he gets two Big Macs every time the Hong Kong market tags.
Just like myself.
They don't have the shame rock shake.
I like that filet of fish myself.
That one's around.
I'm talking to the bus boy.
Do you remember what the fact was?
It was something about how he started Berkshire Hath.
I forgot about it.
I was like drunk and I thought I was killing it.
And this kid just went there.
And then he went.
Because you know when you're at a wedding, you don't really know a lot of
people.
I guess you probably haven't been in that.
Was it at a wedding?
I told you, it was at a wedding.
Oh, I thought you were in class.
No, I was at a wedding and I was like trying to bond with the guy.
You shut your mouth at a wedding.
What?
But you want to heat her.
That's what I was doing.
Yeah, but I thought I was really feeling myself.
And man, I'm a rich British guy.
Hello!
I stink, dude.
Yeah, you thought you really had him in your short sleeve button down his thigh.
Looking like white fruit.
Bears, beets.
A bad start.
You got a dollar for the bartender?
You got any quid on you?
Hey, let me borrow five quid, mate.
You know Elton John?
Yeah, what's his order, though?
All right.
If the market's up of bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit.
That's all right.
Dad, listen.
Hey, I'm a hog.
Shout out to the S&P 500.
Holy shit.
If the market's down, sausage, egg, and cheese.
What?
What's the difference?
If the market's way down, two sausage patties, which he combines and washes
down with a Coke.
He also does the exact change.
This guy's awesome, actually.
No, I think he's shopping like a homeless guy.
He makes a sandwich with two napkins and some bacon.
He's throwing some creamer for me.
He's getting all the free shit.
He's got a...
The market's down a little bit.
He's got a bunch of prep stuff in the back.
Save yourselves.
I got to tell you.
That's...
You're coming around a little bit on him?
Yeah.
Bacon, egg, and cheese on...
I want one right now.
Yeah, I can tell.
They don't make them like that anymore.
No.
I respect all that.
Yes.
That's the...
So that's...
So this is...
There was a few other people that I found that still do similar stuff to that.
Okay.
The hell's Luke even?
What was that?
The hell is even that?
What was that?
He left the remote on the table.
Leave that in.
Don't cut that and show your mistakes either.
That stays in there.
I thought that was one of those kids that put their phone up to somebody else's
phone and it beeps and they run away.
Wait, what?
Huh?
Like, I just stole all your...
Yeah.
Those dads lose it.
Come here!
You know what I'm talking about?
Prank show, prank videos, the kid runs up to somebody's phone, it makes a beep
sound effect, and they think that...
They just transport all their...
Took their Apple cash.
You'd lose it.
I wouldn't.
Yeah, you do.
Chasing the kids on the street, your hat blows off, your bald head.
My hair.
Don't tell anybody about this.
Cover my dick.
Why?
They pants me or something.
Ah, you stink.
Before you get into that...
Thanks.
Thanks for shoving that in there.
Yeah.
I thought...
This is when I thought it was sausage, egg, and cheese, sausage, or sausage McMuffin.
That's a bag and order.
Also, I was going to, you know, defend the guy a little bit.
He was doing some interview with him and...
Who's the other old geezer?
Charles.
He died.
Oh, did he?
Chuck.
Charlie something.
Unger.
Right?
Charlie Munger.
Yeah.
Munger?
Yeah.
There you go.
Fucking Jim Cramer over here.
Tell.
Mad money.
But you want to buy.
All right, very much.
They were out to...
They must have...
They were having lunch every day at the same place.
Something like that.
Uh-huh.
He gets a...
And he's made me hungry for it.
Warren Buffett had a hamburger with a little salt.
Guy likes a burger.
And ketchup.
Real simple.
That's it.
They were just having a hamburger, not a cheeseburger.
I don't think so.
It's wild.
I mean, I don't think it's that crazy.
It's crazy.
I can wrap my head around it.
There's a lot going on.
There really is.
You get the beef flavor.
Next time you're in Burger King, grab yourself a Whopper Jr. without cheese.
Take that to the van.
And get me one.
Get it without the cheese, but get the cheese.
Mail it to Tootie, care of H. Foley.
Sure.
Another guy, Charlie Ergen, head of Dish Network.
What's he got?
I don't know.
You got to be flopping.
But at the time, could you look up