Name: Joe Rogan Experience #2493 - Protect Our Parks 16
Uploaded: 2026-05-01T17:01:22.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #2493 - Protect Our Parks 16' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2026-05-01. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #2493 - Protect Our Parks 16' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2026-05-01. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #2493 - Protect Our Parks 16

Joe Rogan podcast, check it out.
The Joe Rogan experience.
Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day.
Let's go.
We're back, boys.
We're back.
We are back.
We're Comedy Oasis.
That's right.
What's the story, Morning Glory?
It's been almost a year.
Wow, it's flying by.
What are we, 12 now?
Is this 12th episode?
I don't know.
I think we're away.
16?
Yeah.
What?
40.
Damn, that's a lot of drinking.
How many times have we played Free Bird?
Oh, we're playing it again.
We're going to go to the exact same episode we always did.
Yeah, we're going to talk about coming out of the closet.
Play Metallica.
Yeah, play Metallica.
R. Kelly.
So it turns out that that lady that was a scam, that was fake, the lady who
forced the guy
to fuck her.
Was it J.P. Morgan?
What?
Yeah, it wasn't real.
She was hot.
Yeah, I know.
Was that in the last one we did?
Jamie said it's fake, right?
It's fake?
Yeah, the news is going around that it's like, there was like a, the lawsuit is
not accurate
apparently.
It's like a retaliatory lawsuit.
So he just claimed that she said all those things and she made him fuck her.
Damn.
What a pussy.
Wait, is he an Indian guy?
I believe so.
Yeah.
Gross.
It does read like an Indian guy now that I'm thinking about it.
Like a scam?
He's like the horniest guy ever.
Just coming up with the hottest scene.
She called him cannons.
Yeah.
Once a lady calls her tits cannons.
Have you ever heard of a girl call her tits cannons?
Her own?
Right.
It's such an 18 year old or 16 year old boy thing.
I've never heard cannons.
Cannons.
I've heard guys talk about a girl's cannons when she's nowhere near them.
I've heard cans.
Cans.
Sure.
And torpedoes.
I've heard cannons, I think.
I'm pretty sure I've heard cannons.
Nick Cannon.
Jugs.
Nick Cannon.
Yeah.
Jugs.
Jugs.
Jugs are hilarious.
Sweater puppets, fun bags, knockers.
Just boobs and tits.
But a lady saying that?
That's no lady.
I'm sure.
She said.
If she did, that's no lady.
She said, I'm sure your fish head Asian wife doesn't have cannons like this.
Fish head.
That's what he said?
That's what he said.
She said.
Damn.
What's that to me?
More movies.
He's claiming it's that?
Strip tease.
No, no.
When she was the boss.
When she made the guy fuck her.
Disclosure.
Disclosure.
Oh, I used to yank it to that one.
Oh, gosh.
She was hot.
That fucking article almost made me yank it this morning.
I know, right?
I was laying in bed seeing that Twitter thing.
Fish head.
Damn.
Hot as hell.
She's hot.
Indian guys should write more slut.
This guy's a writer, yeah.
So if he got fired and he made up that story, what should the repercussions be?
Jail.
Yeah.
You can't just do that.
Especially.
For sure, if it was a guy, the guy would be fired.
If it was a guy and a woman claimed that the guy said these terrible things,
the guy would
be fired.
He would be shamed.
But no one's mad at that lady.
No.
No, no.
No one's mad at that lady for making him fuck her.
No, he loved the lady.
Even in the moment before he came out as a hoax, when they thought it was true,
her boss was
like, come on, he can't be doing that.
Yeah.
That's about as bad as he got.
Or he pulled her into the office and go, let me see him.
Let me see these cannons.
Bust out the missiles.
We just got to do our research, due diligence.
I just got to see the cannons.
Which also, we...
Cannons.
Just to...
He might be telling the truth.
Is it...
Are we sure it's fake yet?
Are we sure it's fake?
Can't a boy dream.
What a great way to have no one believe you is if you intentionally use words
like that.
Like, I would never speak that way.
There's been a string of middle-aged horrors going around lately.
Have you noticed that?
I love it.
It's back.
It's back.
Like, the reporter chick who's been banging the football coach.
Christy Noem was cheating on that guy with the tits.
Well, that guy with the tits was fucking...
God, the tits rocks.
Those are kids.
That was crazy.
The chick who wrote the RFK article that had a deeply emotional relationship
with him.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
But it was just texting.
That was the second one.
It was crazy.
Then there was the second one she had like that.
She likes to get to know her subjects.
The tits were wild, though.
Really?
Deeply emotional.
Pull them up.
Both back and forth?
His version was wild?
Wait, this is a while ago, right?
Yeah, this is a couple years ago.
Yeah, it was something like, let my river flow into your...
It was odd.
It's like a Dave Matthews song.
Damn.
Does he text like he talks?
Is it all jumbly?
But see, for a lady, it's like a free shot.
They never have to worry about getting in trouble.
No one's even going to be in trouble.
No one's going to be mad at her as a journalist, even.
It's not like she's discredited.
No.
No.
The husband was like, I'm kind of lame.
The husband?
Is she married?
The husband didn't love it.
Oh, she's married?
Which one was she talking about?
Oh, she's a freak.
Yeah.
The reporter with RFK.
Mm.
Allegedly.
He was a heroin addict, too.
He's a fun dude.
Fun.
Got after it.
Oh, yeah.
Lived his life.
I like him a lot.
Didn't used to stutter.
That's true.
It's not a stutter.
It's a vaccine injury.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
He didn't used to talk that way?
No.
It's from the flu vaccine.
Yeah, you see videos of him from the 90s?
He had a great voice.
Great voice.
Black hair.
Are you reading the texts?
They're hilarious.
It's like Prince Charles.
Any dude who tries to be romantic, it's like, you don't know how to do it.
It's a poem?
Yeah, it's a sex life.
Oh, as soon as you're writing a lady a poem, it's over.
How do we know this is true?
I think it was verified.
From what I remember, it was verified.
Olivia Nuzzi.
Nuzzi.
She sounds like a freak.
Yeah.
Yeah, she's sharing it, so it could be from anybody.
She sounds like Staten Island trash.
Your open mouth is awaiting my harvest.
Oh, there we go.
She looks like fun.
Not too shabby.
Don't throw a drop.
Your open Y-R?
Who writes Y-R for your ear?
Come on, really?
It's trying to relate to the youth.
Your open mouth is awaiting my harvest?
That doesn't even make sense.
You think he eats ass?
Because that's processed.
This is my favorite one.
I mean to squeeze your cheeks to force open your mouth.
I'll hold your nose as you look up to me to encourage you to swallow.
Whoa!
Don't spill a drop.
I am a river.
You are my canyon.
Wow, maha, baby.
Wow.
Okay, I'm not buying this.
That sounds like literature.
But I can't have a Pop-Tart?
You can't have Fruit Loops with the good colors?
But he's jizzing in her mouth.
I don't want these great Fruit Loops, dude.
It's not the fun.
You ever seen Canadian Fruit Loops?
They're bland and dim and dull.
That's what they're going to sell here now.
It's over.
We used to be a country.
It's over.
But there's got to be a way to make them prettier.
Yeah.
Without giving you ass cancer?
Right.
It's got to be some way.
Give us the ass cancer, bro.
A lot of people are getting the ass cancer lately.
Give us the ass cancer.
I saw that.
Really?
Way up.
The dude's like, since the early 30s, he's got stage three ass cancer.
Wow.
Yeah.
But he also took four shots.
Four of them.
Uh-huh.
Four what shots?
Ass shots?
Vaccines.
And that gives you ass cancer?
It can give you cancer.
Allegedly.
Did he boof the shots?
That's the way to do it.
If you really want to get massive on how to take the vaccine.
Stuck the actual needle right into the hole.
In West Hollywood, they're just going to plunge her.
Jimmy Boof it.
He got the boofer.
Well, Trump almost got a shot the other day.
Isn't that crazy?
Crazy.
That's the third assassination attempt on that dude.
Fucking guy run and ran.
You didn't know about the assassination attempt?
Not really.
It was at the White House press correspondence dinner.
Where Reagan got shot.
Was it Michelle Wolf?
Same hotel.
Oh, really?
So the trip advisor must be rough on that one.
At the correspondence dinner.
Was there a comedian there?
No.
Oz the Mentalist.
Oz the Mentalist, yeah.
Oz the Mentalist was the host.
You'd think he would have saw it coming.
You'd think.
He probably kept his mouth shut.
He's like, I think we're going to go attack two more Arab countries.
You know what's hilarious?
Metzger goes, did you see the fake assassination attempt?
Don't you know?
Don't you know about Gilgamesh?
And you're like, what?
Gilgamesh.
He always brings in his references.
The Rothschilds.
Bro, what are you saying?
I don't know any of the references.
Oh, you don't know?
If Metzger can't get it up, he's like, Israel.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Everything's Israel.
If you get that bar, it's Israel.
Actually, pretty good excuse.
I'm going to start using it.
Yeah, it's solid.
Those Kanye clips you showed me were fucking wild.
He's the best.
He's so fun.
What's nice was the shooter was mixed race.
That's nice.
Is that nice?
That's nice because you're always like, don't be white.
Don't be white.
Or don't be black.
And don't be Arab.
Be a combo.
Don't be an Arab.
Just a American liberal.
Wow.
Just a standard American liberal.
Had enough of the, whatever you want to say he is.
Dictator.
Oh, right, right.
Fascism.
The whole thing.
Fascism, pedophile, you know.
He was like a smart guy, a valedictorian.
He was like a scientist-y guy.
I think he was a teacher.
Must be extra tough for those guys because they're like so, like, you haven't
gotten into a fight
since you were seven.
And then you're going to get a gun and try to, like, kill a high-level person.
It's like, what a step up.
Well, he shot a Secret Service guy.
Really?
You just hit him in the vest.
Yeah.
Oh, shit.
They don't know who shot who.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
You're saying the Secret Service guy shot himself?
Not himself.
It might have been friendly fire.
He's trying to get out.
It might have been friendly fire.
Is it that lady again?
Yes, I think she was there.
The lady was there.
The one that looks like me?
We were joking around about it in the green room.
Imagine if she was like, I know I fucked up way back in July, but look, guys, I'm
better.
I've been working out.
Yeah.
And then this is their second assignment.
We didn't talk about this part yet.
The tweet?
This is the guy?
Oh, yeah.
The weird time machine tweet.
Yeah, this is nuts.
So the Cole Allen guy tried to kill Trump.
It's not inside the White House, though, right?
It was at a hotel.
No, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay.
An ex-account for 2023 wrote a single tweet with that name.
With what?
So it just wrote Cole Allen from 2023.
The profile belongs to Henry Martinez, a NASA scientist who's missing.
The background image is from a website called Time Machine.
If you de-digitize it, the 2024 assassination attempt photos appears, but with
a hole in the
head instead of the ear.
The profile picture is a green toad in a tuxedo with a glass, exactly like
Trump in the assassination
attempt.
Either it's the most elaborate psyop in history or someone from the future is
leaving clues
in the past that only make sense once the events happen.
Why does time travelers keep trying to kill me?
Wait a minute.
How is that picture the same?
That is not the same.
That's just a bunch of colors and you could decide it's the same.
No, you got to decode it.
Oh, it's like a more eye.
You got to squeeze your eyes together.
It appears if you squeeze your eyes together.
I'm trying.
Sailboat.
What do you do?
Like one of those things where you could see like words in a-
Yeah, it was always a sailboat or a guitar.
Always.
Mallrats.
Do you think that makes sense, Jamie?
This picture part of it does not make a lot of sense.
I don't think.
But it is weird that the guy-
The tweet is strange enough.
The tweet is nuts.
Yeah, the tweet is strange enough.
From two years ago.
So he's trying to work up the courage for how long?
Three years.
23, yeah.
Yeah, and then the fact that it's a frog.
It's one of those Keck guys.
Right.
Those nutty fucking pranksters.
It's funny if he was just trying to search somebody's name.
He just got it right.
He was just like, hey, there's a cool guy I met earlier.
Is that the only twe