Name: Joe Rogan Experience #2458 - Matt McCusker
Uploaded: 2026-02-20T18:00:07.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #2458 - Matt McCusker' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2026-02-20. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #2458 - Matt McCusker' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2026-02-20. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #2458 - Matt McCusker

Joe Rogan Podcast, check it out.
The Joe Rogan Experience.
Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day.
A lot of people have lights on their tables,
got a light on their face to make them look more pretty.
Really?
Yeah, they have like a slight, like a opening in the table,
and then a light that gets on you
so you don't see like the shadows in your face
so you don't look shitty.
I feel like, isn't that what you do?
Like a scary story, you put a flashlight under your chin.
Yeah, but they're not trying to do that.
They're trying to like balance it out so you look flat.
That's crazy, man.
You look like what you look like.
Yeah, you got to give up after a while.
The weirdest shit is men who use filters when they take pictures.
That's insane.
There's comedian men that use filters.
Really?
Yes, it's very odd.
How do you know?
How do you tell?
Do you know what they really look like?
Yeah, duh.
And then you see them and they look like a cartoon.
Netflix does that with the pictures that they use when they promote your
special.
Like the picture of you.
They'll put that bitch through a filter.
That makes sense.
And you look so pretty.
Yeah.
And people see you after the show, you're like, you look horrible.
I didn't know you looked so bad.
You look so old.
Thanks, man.
I am so old.
I'm almost 60.
Dang.
I know.
It's crazy.
I'm 58.
I'm 40.
Just turned 40.
Those are real numbers.
Yeah, I know.
As soon as I had kids, I aged like immediately.
You would have thought I literally gave birth.
Yeah, well, there's lack of sleep.
Yeah, that's what got me.
Yeah.
You know what's really good for that?
Creatine.
I've been taking it.
Yeah, creatine, they say 20 grams a day.
Start like with five and work your way up to 20 and check to see how your butthole
holds up because the seal might be loose.
I've ran this experiment.
20 gets my guts going, man.
Bro, it does.
It does.
I don't do 20 in a dose.
I do 10 in the morning and 10 at night.
I did 20.
Because I was doing 20 in a dose and it was just like, everybody out of the
pool.
I'm also not convinced diarrhea is bad for you.
I swear to God, like not shitting for sure.
But diarrhea is just like, let's speed this up.
Well, isn't that what, is that consumption?
What is the disease where you can't stop having diarrhea?
Dysentery.
Dysentery, that's it.
Yeah.
Shit.
All right, well, if you can't stop having it, sure.
Well, that's like you can't digest food.
It just goes right through you and just shit constantly.
Now you shit starved?
Yeah.
That sucks, actually.
Yeah, it's not good.
Once a week, though, that's fine.
You know what I used to do?
I used to drink kale smoothies in the morning.
That was the first thing that I would do.
I would throw kale and garlic and like apples and shit in a blender.
And that's what I would drink first thing in the morning.
Yeah.
And boy, that is just like, that clears the pathway.
That's like, you know when you clear your rain gutters of leaves?
Yeah.
You get a hose on that bitch and you just fucking blow them off the top.
That's what it's like.
Yeah, I've done the green drink before.
It does get you.
I was vegan for like a month.
And that was like the biggest dumps.
But I actually got hemorrhoids from being vegan.
Oh, because on the toilet too much?
Because it was just that the turds were so big.
I was getting like blown out.
I got hemorrhoids from being vegan.
Was it taking too long to poop?
No.
Or was it just like, it was just spectacular?
It was just massive, bro.
Yeah, it was spectacular.
There were massive bowl winders.
It was like twice a day.
I was like an adult entertainer.
I was like, my body just gave out.
I just told the entertainer.
Well, when you think about it, it's all that fiber that your body doesn't
process.
But they say that that's what's good for keeping you clean, you know?
Yeah.
Fiber pushes everything out.
I'm back on the fiber train now.
I was all about protein now.
I'm like, yeah, I need my fiber now.
But it's hard to know who's right.
Because the carnivore people are like, you don't need fiber.
There's no need for fiber.
But then there's like, there's evidence that fiber is good for you.
Yeah, isn't that what your whole microbiome needs to like make the germs or
whatever that
are good for your brain?
I don't know.
I get confused as well.
But my balance is I eat a lot of kimchi.
I really like kimchi.
That's a move.
I eat that stuff all the time.
Kimchi and I eat sauerkraut.
That stuff's legit.
Yeah, I know that stuff's supposed to be good for you.
But yeah, I tried the carnivore and it was like, I first five days I felt cool.
And then like after, I think I made it to 17 days.
I was like, dude, if I just ate some vegetables with this, I'd be the healthiest.
I'd be the best guy in the world.
Because it was just like, I stopped pooping.
I was like, this can't be good for me.
Well, you don't poop much because there's no fiber.
So when you do poop, it's just boop.
Yeah, I remember.
I remember this all.
It's like rabbit pellets.
And you're like, where's the rest?
But I mean, isn't that a good thing?
Does it mean your body absorbed all of the food instead of like having all this
undigestible
stuff go through your digestive tract?
This is the argument that the carnivore people put.
Yeah.
I don't want anybody that's a nutritionist right now pulling their hair out.
Disinformation.
I'm just asking.
It's a solid question because it's like, yeah, it does food.
Does meat get stuck in your body and you need plants to push it out of your
butt?
Or will meat come out of your butt just like plants will?
Well, that was the thing that they would always say, that every man when he
dies has a pound
of undigested meat in his stomach.
Apparently that's not true.
Yeah.
That was the old thing about John Wayne.
Like John Wayne had 50 pounds of beef jerky in his butthole.
I've like thought about that since I was a little boy.
I've been wondering like how much are they going to find in me?
Yeah, that's true.
So it's not the case.
No, John Wayne just had a gut from probably beer.
Yeah.
You know, beer and pasta and bread.
True.
And, you know, normal American food.
Also, he was, I mean, when was, what was his heyday?
Like 50s, 60s or 60s, I guess 60s, 70s maybe?
When did he do that Genghis Khan movie?
That's what killed him.
What year was that?
50s, I think.
Yeah, because it's like those dudes weren't on like nutrition.
Yeah, like True Grit.
Yeah.
Those days, yeah.
Dude, they weren't being like, oh, how much fiber have I had today?
No.
No.
Yeah, they were, that was even in like the 90s, the dude didn't think about
what they're eating.
56.
56?
Wow.
That's one of the worst movies of all time.
You ever see it?
No.
It's Genghis Khan movie.
How did it kill him?
Oh, he filmed it in the same area where Nevada was doing their nuclear tests.
Everybody got cancer.
Damn.
Like the whole crew, like a giant number of people got cancer.
Yeah.
And that, I'm telling you, that was back when guys would be like, nuclear bomb,
I don't care
about.
Like they didn't, like I used to work with guys that do asbestos back in like
the 90s when
I was little.
Me, like my dad, my uncle's all day construction.
So we were like taking this barn down and I was like a little boy just like
hammering
nails into an A-frame and they shut it down because there was asbestos in there.
And there's this guy who was like, dude, your uncle's a pussy.
I'd eat that shit for breakfast.
I don't care about asbestos.
And it's like, I don't know.
Like now I grew up, I'm like, damn, thank God they shut that down.
But.
Well, there were so many things that caused cancer that no one knew about at
the time.
Yeah.
Like how about baby powder?
Yeah, dude.
I didn't know about that either.
Well, the thing is, what I think what the story is, is that where they mine the
talc, that
the talc is not always pure and the talc has other stuff mixed in it and they
don't filter
that stuff out.
Is it asbestos that it's mixed with?
I thought that stuff was cornstarch.
Run that into perplexity, please.
I thought it was cornstarch.
What?
Baby powder.
Baby powder?
No.
So it's talc.
No, it's talc, I believe.
Evidence of small but real cancer risk with some talc-based baby powders,
mainly due to
genital use, and possible asbestos contamination.
Yeah, that's it.
But the data are mixed and the absolute risk for any one person is low.
Talc itself is a mineral, can be mined near asbestos, so contamination is the
main worry.
Asbestos is a known cause of mesothelioma and other cancers.
Yeah, quite a few women.
I think there was a lawsuit.
I remember hearing that.
I remember I was dismayed because that was like, I had a weird thing when I was
younger.
I used to use baby powder to masturbate.
Yo.
Because it just makes everything feel so...
So it was kind of nice.
And if I smell baby powder to this day, it's like a trigger for...
Yeah.
If I smell it, I'm like, God damn, bro.
That shit away from me.
Well, I used to use it a lot to play pool.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, everybody would use baby powder.
You use baby powder on your fingers.
It makes the shaft slide through your fingers.
But then they invented gloves.
And so that keeps the table clean.
Yeah, yeah.
This is like, I guess they're...
I don't know what they're made out of.
It was like a nylon, like a very thin nylon.
So it's not getting called up.
It makes it nice and slick.
Yeah.
Yeah, but baby powder, no bueno.
What else?
They're saying LED lights now.
That's what I keep hearing.
LED.
They're saying it kills your mitochondria.
Aren't these LED?
Are these LED?
Fuck, do we have to change our lights?
Are we dying in here?
What is that?
LED lights and what?
I think they like crush your mitochondria.
Oh, jeez.
I don't know if I just get scared by AI clips on Instagram.
Bro, I'm scared of everything.
I have to fucking stay offline.
I know.
I'm reading too much of the news.
And it's overwhelming me.
Like sometimes at nighttime, like I can't wind down.
Yeah.
It's just like there's too much news.
It's too much fucking madness.
We're about to go to war with Iran.
I know.
Everyone's eating beef jerky and pizza.
Like what are these?
What the fuck is pizza?
I know.
You know, how far does this go?
How come this never got released before?
Like what is happening?
I mean, my thing is like I'm not.
First of all, the news for me is like aside from all like the disastrous wars,
it's just so like negative.
When you read the news is mostly people being like, guess who's a giant piece
of shit?
Right.
You read that over and over and you get like addicted to being like, yeah, that
guy sucks.
I'm good.
Well, there was an article that I read recently about people being addicted to
outrage.
That's a real thing.
Oh, for sure.
Being addicted to being upset about stuff and addicted to outrage.
You go search for it, which is why your algorithm shows you all that shit.
Yeah.
No, I mean, I don't know if this is true, but I feel like they watch your
facial expression
through your phone camera and feed you stuff if you're making like interested
or outraged
or whatever.
I wouldn't be shocked.
I've heard they like track your eyeball movement and they're like, okay, this
is holding his eyes
and they just keep feeding you.
Really?
I've heard that.
You should probably put a piece of tape over that bitch.
I know.
I know.
I wonder if you did, how much would change?
That'd be an interesting experience.
Well, they got your mic too, so they got your audio.
That's true.
But yeah, the new, dude, that, yeah, all that Epstein shit is like, I can't
follow it.
It's too much.
It's too much.
There's too many names.
I don't know state representative.
They're like naming all these people.
It's like, damn, I wish I knew who that was.
And it's dark too.
It's horrible.
And it goes so high.
There's so many levels to it.
You know, Sagar and Yeti was just on flagrant and they were reading off files
and talking
about the, and it's just like, what the fuck, man?
Yeah, it's, you need to study all day to like follow it.
Prince Andrew