Name: Joe Rogan Experience #2484 - David Cross
Uploaded: 2026-04-16T17:00:54.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #2484 - David Cross' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2026-04-16. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Joe Rogan Experience #2484 - David Cross' from PowerfulJRE on Comedy Buff. Published 2026-04-16. Transcript available.

Joe Rogan Experience #2484 - David Cross

the joe rogan experience train by day joe rogan podcast by night all day
david joseph good to see you good to see dude i haven't seen you in a long
fucking time when
was the last time we were actually in a room together i well i was trying to
think of that
i don't know i would imagine post news radio we hung out at some point at some
show somewhere
somewhere but i don't know but i do remember uh because i did news radio a
couple times and we
we hung out i remember i think we both no just you had more hair than uh i was
probably already
at this point i was fighting to keep it i was hanging on are you do you shave
or is that it is
that oh it's i mean i'm bald if i didn't shave i'd be bald all the way up here
but i got a hair
transplant and it was useless yeah i i did a joke about it i go having a hair
transplant is like
taking people that are healthy and moving them into a neighborhood where
everyone's dying
this is just like where did bob go he just flew off the face of the earth so uh
yeah you'd say you just
accepted it yes okay yeah i should have done it a long time ago it's so much
better and i don't have
to talk to a barber i don't have to listen to boring stories while they hold
you hostage with a pair of
scissors that's what that's what this is uh this gets me i i don't like shaving
i don't it's kind
of a pain in the ass and i also i look like a kind of a turtle i look like a
turtle you know when i
shave i don't like it um and it's not attractive to me and i jerk off to me all
the time so i want to
keep things fresh uh but uh i this i probably don't have to i could probably
get clippers and stuff
but i go to you know one of my guys around the corner where i live and uh and i
i have this
experience where i'm i want that i want to get in and out right because of what
you were saying a lot
of chit chat and there are a couple guys very quiet hi how you doing good fist
bump whatever you get
you know what i want to get get out of there there's one guy who just talks all
and and then they have
that um the blade you know uh the the what do you call that the you know the
blade blades thank you and
um and they got it right there so you got to be polite it's on your it's by
your yeah you know and
i know i could avoid it if i just get some clippers and just do this thing but
i don't i don't know i was boring and sorry there's no point to it it barely
has anything to do with
what we were talking about there's something about a beard though that makes
you distinguished or at
least have experience or or look like a homeless you know uh alcoholic i mean
there are plenty of those
guys too yeah there's a lot of those too but a beard is like there's some there's
just is a statement
with a beard like a full beard like yours white mine is just you know i don't
like shaving
like you know and again i i i do like i only gain weight in two places stomach
and right here and
and and also i have a kind of a thin frame so it's it's really not attractive
it's not attractive so
the beard sort of it's it's more laziness it's uh i don't have to worry about
it yeah no i hear you
and this you know i just i go i don't know six seven weeks and then i just
shave it once it gets out
because this my hair doesn't grow down or it just grows out like a clown you
know it goes this way
all of it even this too and uh and once this starts filling in it it just looks
goofy yeah i have a
friend my friend hassan he used to shave his head and now purposely to look
goofy he lets the sides go
out and it's madness it's just it's all crazy thick hair and bald on top and
bald on top yeah
yeah and he does a joke on stage about it it doesn't doesn't praise indian this
is my impression of an
indian pussy and is he just like not concerned about getting laid or yeah i
think he's just embracing
but he still gets laid you know because he's really he's really funny i think
he just embraces
not giving a there he is oh he looks familiar to me okay very funny guy all
right cool he's uh one of the
up and comer well he's from la originally he was one of the doormen at the
comedy store okay he looks
very professorial he's very smart yeah yeah but uh doesn't give a about his
hair who's that art bell i
was gonna guess art bell i swear to god yeah i swear to god i don't even know
if i've ever seen him
yeah coast to coast yes yes from the kingdom of nye wow i love that show that
was the show that i listened to
coming home from hollywood because i lived out in the valley and i would drive
home at night and i'd
listen to late night with art bell all right it's the best coast with art bell
i used to do a whole
bit about uh the like um because who's the new guy george nori george nori
right and i'm gonna uh
digress for one second did you ever uh do you play video games at all yes well
i try not to
but i used to play a lot of them did you ever play prey no but i know what it
is a great underrated
underrated game got ripped off uh or just people bit certain things that they
um started but one of
the coolest things so it's about like this uh it takes place on a uh uh
reservation like you know uh in
the 90s i guess or something like that and there's a bartender and her
boyfriend and and it takes place
in this bar and then aliens come and then this guy goes on the alien ship to uh
go rescue her but um
they did this really cool thing so first they have this in the video game right
at the bar there's a tv
and as you walk towards it it's playing it's like staticky until you get closer
to it and then as your
character gets closer to it it's art bell talking about aliens and stuff i know
i know i'm not doing it
justice but it was such a cool smart idea and uh god bless him he was the og
yeah and and just some of
the guy i one thing that because i listen to it a lot too because sometimes you
know you're listening
and you're like this is insane this is crazy and he would always always treat
the guest with deference
you know respect and i i that must have been because there were things that
were you know if you go back
to all the episodes that were kind of contradictory in a sense you know like
wait you think all these
things happen you think there's a uh a place in the middle of the ocean that
has like it's a community
of people that lived there and and and then but you also think this like all
these different things
it'd be like hmm huh interesting yeah he would let you go he'd let you go yeah
he'd give it some air
uh but he was yeah he was never rude or no never he had a time traveler line
where you would call specifically if you were a time traveler
if but if but if you were calling from the past they didn't have that
technology yet no it's mostly
people from the future i believe wait like art i'm calling from seven minutes
in the future listen
i think his his whole deal was if you are here in this current era but you are
from another time
you could call because you know the idea was like he would have these remote
viewers and
oddballs on and they would talk about that we we have had the ability to time
travel for a long time
oh yeah you know there are wormholes that exists and they explain the quantum
dynamics involved and
time travel has been breached by the cia in the 1960s yes and uh you have these
people call up but
art would always like give them air like let them breathe let it breathe yeah
yeah art i'm a werewolf
interesting tell me more like it didn't matter no matter what it was it was a
fun show yeah i loved
it craziest people from bigfoot people to alien people everything and and then
a lot of people
uh ex-military right you know you get that like whistleblowers um i was uh
stationed and uh yeah
you know outside of uh a remote island that uh i can't go into uh from singapore
and uh i witnessed
some things are that i still have difficulty believing and uh and then he yeah
yeah what happened
it was great yeah it's so fun and and you so did you also listen to phil hendry
yes oh god he was the
best super genius the best thing about phil hendry was the people that didn't
understand what was going
on i would call in and be really upset the first the first two times i heard
him i didn't understand
what he was doing he's that he's that good too then i and i would be like this
is crazy this guy
and then eventually you're like oh he's doing characters uh yeah because he you
know repeat
characters and stuff but i i got the chance to watch him do a show so he's got
he's he's got the
he's got three mics i want to say uh like two mics like this and then a phone
mic or you know a phone
like a hand uh uh old time you know cradle phone and he was doing himself uh
the the woman who's uh runs
the uh hoa or whatever that uh whatever her name was that that character and
then somebody else
calling in like he did somebody calling on the phone and it was uh i mean it
was like a magic act
yeah it's crazy to watch how without missing a beat and i could see uh you can
see how he
strategically takes breaths so that he can go from one character to another and
interrupting each other
yeah you know it it was fascinating but he's a genius it's the only thing that
caught i right away i was
like oh wait a minute there's no crosstalk like right well if one of the early
times i listened i was
like i think this is the same guy yeah well he's he bumps it up like he's
really good at uh almost
you know making it sound as if like because he'll interrupt himself and go and
i okay but you know
and stop and then just go right into the other voice it's phenomenal and and
completely original
like i don't know of anybody else did anything like that no did you ever um he
used to put out
stuff for charity like uh cds and things and he has uh i don't know what it
would be called but it was
one of the one of the things he put out for charity that was um a guy called
into the station
i think he's probably super high but he called in thinking it was pizza hut and
he fucks with this
guy in the best way where he's like uh and who's the what's the woman character
he does it's kind of
like uh like a black woman who's like honey it is the i don't know marjorie i
think maybe uh but he
then he does that woman answering the phone uh at you know pizza hut and then
he does the automated
uh thing like she's like i'm gonna put you on uh it's easier to do the
automated uh thing so and the
guy's like uh okay all right and and then he gets out he's like thank you for
calling pizza hut the best
pizza in a three block radius and if you want if you want uh i'm not doing it
justice you got to go
do it hear it listen can you yep you got it all right headphones okay it's so
brilliant wait uh
whatever the large yes 16 inch deep pan dish pan you got the dish pan deep or
it's extra deep just a
regular large 16 inch thick crust on a deep dish want puff dish no uh you want
a uh any of them puffy
cheese balls anything like that we got a special on buffalo wing uh we got a
special on uh uh damn i
forgot the other thing we got a special on something all right what do you want
what kind of cheese you
want blue swiss cheddar monster okay i think i'm gonna have the wrong uh
location here all right hold on
and he's so thank you for calling pizza your call is being transferred please
have all credit card
information available for our operators yes pizza hello hi yes hi hi which
location are you at we are at
the corner of la fienega and venice okay i like to place an order for delivery
all right can i put you
on hold we'll put you through our automated system hold on please thank you for
calling pizza if you'd like
cheese pizza press one if you'd like a meatball pizza press two if you'd like
sausage press three
press two oh it goes on and on and on he goes he eventually gets the guy a fish
pizza and the guy's
like no man this i don't want um it's it's really funny but that's him that's
phil doing all those
voices and that's not set up a guy had called into the studio thinking it was
pizza and they're like
take this call did 