Name: Bobby Lee Thinks the WORLD IS ABOUT TO END!
Uploaded: 2026-04-21T16:00:59.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby Lee Thinks the WORLD IS ABOUT TO END!' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2026-04-21. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobby Lee Thinks the WORLD IS ABOUT TO END!' from Bad Friends Clips on Comedy Buff. Published 2026-04-21. Transcript available.

- I told Honey to buy me 5,000 Smartwaters,
which is what we're doing.
- 5,000?
- Yeah.
- Smart, why do you like Smartwater?
- No, no, no, it's not that I like it,
it's just that I have this fear that the world is ending.
- Right.
- So I'm gonna get seeds, I'm gonna do the whole thing.
- You're gonna get seeds?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - What kind of seeds?
- Sunflower.
Barbecue, ranch.
- That's all you need to eat.
- No, I mean, to plant.
- No. - To plant!
- No. - To plant!
- Sunflower's smart. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- You could chew on those for days.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- You know what I mean, chili lime, the Hispanic one.
- I like those.
- If you plant those, maybe a chili lime sunflower seed will.
- Just a Mexican guy grows in your backyard?
- Yeah.
What I'm gonna do is I'm gonna convert my backyard,
'cause I have that, not asphalt, but the fake grass.
What do you call that?
- Fake grass.
- Is that what they call it?
- I think so.
- I mean, what do they call it?
- I mean, turf.
- Turf. - Yeah.
- I have turf, I'm gonna take that out,
put real American soil on there.
- American soil.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm gonna put American soil on there, man.
I'm gonna get American seeds, you know what I mean?
- I'm not growing hummus.
I'm growing hummus, dude.
- Okay.
- You know what I mean?
American shit, tomatoes.
- That's a Netanyahu joke?
- That's a Netanyahu joke.
- Yeah, it is.
- No, it's not, dude.
- Yeah, okay.
- Yeah, I'm not doing that, I'm not doing goya.
It's goya, it's goya, I think.
- What is goya, though?
Okay.
- It just sounds like a Greek thing.
I don't know.
- Hispanic, yeah.
I'm not, only American, you know what I mean?
Vegetables and-
- Hot dogs, cheeseburger.
- You can't grow hot dogs.
- Pretzels.
- No, no, I'm growing vegetables and fruits.
- Well, you don't grow hummus either.
- You don't grow hummus?
- Chickpeas.
- It's a bean.
- It's chickpeas.
- It's a chickpea, how do you get chickpeas?
- You grow it.
- Exactly, that's what I'm saying, no chickpeas.
- No chickpeas in our house.
- Well, no, I mean, I'll eat it like if I'm with,
you know what I mean?
- No, it's American, we're not doing that.
- No, I love hummus, but I'm just saying-
- All right.
- I do love hummus.
- But look, chickpeas are very easy to grow.
- Oh, fuck.
- Nutrient-dense and drought-tolerant legumes
that thrive in warm weather, maturing in 90 days.
- All right, I'll get chickpeas.
- All right, we got it.
- I'll do chickpeas, yeah.
- We'll be hummus boys.
- Yeah, we'll be hummus boys, but I just think that
I have this fear that something's about to happen,
so I'm gonna Y2K this.
- Do you think the global-
- Is that the Y2K, right?
- Yes.
- Y2K, yeah.
- And you know what happened there, nothing.
- Yeah, I know.
- So it's gonna be the same result.
- It doesn't matter though, because it could have happened.
- The global food source will be depleted, in your opinion,
in the next couple of years, we're about to run out.
Something faster.
- Well, the straighter hummus is closed.
We don't know when that's gonna open up.
So it's like- - We'll just make it crooked then.
Crooked the hummus if we can.
- Yeah.
- Stop straightening that thing out.
- Yeah, you know what I should have done?
What do I should have done?
- I don't know why should I have done anything.
- Should you have done it.
- I'm so tired.
You know, 200 years ago, they should just widen that thing.
But they have no foresight.
You know what I mean?
But I'll be like, "Hey, we could make it wider."
What, the straight?
Yeah, wider.
- Be good.
- Be good.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- You should have been a civil engineer.
- I know.
- I watched Pluribus again last night,
and that is literally kind of what we're talking about.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Did you finish it?
- Mm-hmm.
- Gosh, it's pretty good.
I got one left, I think.
- It's a really good show.
- But we gotta watch it in chunks,
'cause it's anxiety-inducing.
So I can't get through the whole thing at once.
- You have no anxiety?
- Huh?
- You have no anxiety.
- I have all of it.
- About the world.
- Oh, oh, about the world?
- Yeah.
- No, I'm comfortable, dude.
I'm comfortably numb.
- Oh, you're numb.
- Like the song.
- Yeah.
- I have become comfortably numb.
- It's a good song.
- Yeah, you nailed it.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- The Doomsday Clock, January 27th, 2026,
as of this year was set at 85 seconds to midnight.
Closest the clock has ever been to midnight in its history.
- Wow.
- Well, speed it up.
Push the seconds over.
Let's have fun.
- Yeah, there's a lot of anxiety I feel in the world.
I think maybe I'm just like, you know what I mean?
A sensitive guy and I just can feel things.
But like, you know, when you walk into a coffee shop
and you look at somebody, right?
What's wrong?
- I'm a sensitive guy.
I can feel things?
You're an empath?
Is that what you're thinking?
- Well, I'm dating a witch.
- You are dating a witch.
- Yeah, so it rubs off, I mean.
- I know, my eye, I can't see out of my right eye.
What are you guys doing?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like she told me the other night
that she can see the future and stuff like that.
- What did she see?
- She goes, she stopped doing it
because it's like too much, she gets tired.
- That's her reason to stop.
- She got taught it, you know what I mean?
That's also not just looking into the future,
like look into people's blood
and communicate with like spirits and stuff, right?
And she's like, it's.
- I could run a three minute mile,
but I just don't want to do it.
- Yeah, yeah.
- I just don't feel like doing it, but I can.
- That's pretty much it.
- Yeah, it's ridiculous.
- That's not ridiculous.
You can do it, but you just won't.
- No, you literally can't.
- You can though.
- Physical limit.
- Can you?
- A three minute mile?
- Yeah, okay.
- No, nobody can.
- Okay.
- Nobody can do a three minute mile.
- Not you or me.
- I know, but there are people out in the world that can.
- Yeah, maybe like Mofongo Babongo.
- Yeah, yeah, Mofongo Babongo, he can.
- He can do it?
- Yeah, yeah.
Well, the girl that I'm dating is the Mofongo Mofongo of witches.
- No human has ever run a three minute mile.
- Okay.
- Wait a minute, she said she could look into the future.
I need to hear the rest.
- Not the future.
It's more like she can see things,
communicate with spirits and see things in the past.
- That's the opposite.
-
- She's going the wrong way.
- She's, oh yeah.
- She's, she's in, wait, dude,
she's in that other universe communicating
and she's going backwards.
And they're like, the information's up here.
She took the wrong course.
- I don't know why you guys are laughing at this,
you know what I mean, religion.
It's, it's absolutely mind boggling.
- Dude, fuck you.
- It's absolutely mind boggling.
- Shut up.
- That you would take one's religion and mock it and laugh.
- Witches and magic practitioners often use divination,
such as tarot, runes, or scrying.
- She's crying all the time, dog.
- She's crying?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Yeah.
One time her dog actually started scrying.
- Do I believe?
- They, they cry different.
They scry.
- Oh, they scry.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They don't, yeah.
It's even more painful.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So.
- They float when they cry.
They scry.
- You know, to, we live in a country
where we have freedom of religion.
- That's right, baby.
Best country in the world.
- And for you to mock one's religion
is to me, absurd and offending.
- Time out.
- It offends me.
- You're allowed to have the freedom to religion,
to any religion.
- Yeah.
- I have the freedom of speech to mock your religion.
- But which religion is this?
- Yeah.
- Witchery, witchcraft.
Witchcraft is a religion.
- It is a religion.
- But I have the freedom of speech.
- Voodooism is a religion, is it not?
- Yeah, it is, but we can mock it.
That's the whole point of freedom of speech.
- Wicca, like how.
- Wiccans.
- Yeah, Wiccans, yeah.
- Chetsky grew up.
- Yeah, but you know.
- What you're saying is contradictory in and of itself.
If it's protected religion, then so is speech.
So we can make fun of it.
That's the point.
- But it's kind of my religion.
- It's not yours.
- I know.
I know it's not, but I want to defend the right.
- Defend your honor.
- That people have the right to have their own religion.
- And people have the right and I'll defend it.
- And you're laughing, you guys are laughing
as if like, it's not real.
- No, no, no.
- It could be.
- No, no, we're laughing at it.
- It could be.
- We're laughing because it's real.
- That's the God she believes.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Yeah, that's the goat God.
- Yeah.
- And tell me.
- I've seen that guy on La Brea before.
- Yeah.
Now tell me, Carlos, you were at the drawing room
at 1:30 in the morning and you saw that.
Yeah, in Los Feliz.
At the drawing room at 1:30, right, McCone?
Yeah, at the end of the fucking bar.
- You've seen her or whatever that is.
- Hey, can I get a drink?
Can you buy me a drink?
- Somebody buy that girl a drink?
I walked in from Echo Park.
- Right, you've seen.
- The horned goat lives in Echo Park.
- I got a great one bed, one bath.
- What else does she tell you about the future?
Does she tell us what's coming?
Has she given you any insight?
- Well, you remember I told you
that I found your name in my freezer, right?
- She was putting it in there.
- No, that's not.
Did I tell you that?
- You told me she made you put it in there to cool me off.
- Yeah, yeah, cool you off, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It didn't work.
- No.
- You're hot.
- The freezer spell involving your name
is typically used in witchcraft to blind, stop,
or banish a person from causing trouble.
- Exactly, that's what I was doing.
- Freezing their negative actions or cold shoulders.
- I was banishing you, dude.
- Didn't work.
- I know it didn't work.
- I'm unbanishable.
- I know, I realize that.
I realize that you're unbanishable.
Also, I realize that, you know what I mean,
you can't be binded.
- You can't bind me.
- Like in Lord of the Rings, that ring?
No, nothing on you.
- No, bind me.
- Yeah, I don't know what race you are in that world, dude,
but you cannot be bound to that ring.
- Unbound.
- You're unbind, yeah, so that didn't work.
You can be stopped.
- You could, yeah.
- It could be stopped, you know what I mean?
But it would take like, you know what I mean,
a Russian army, I think, to stop you.
Don't tempt those guys, 'cause they'll do it.
- So, witchcraft to bind, stop, or banish.
- Yeah, banish.
- So two, three of those, you can't do it.
Ander Santino.
You know, I tried to freeze your negativity,
and it didn't work.
Also, it was in there for like months.
It was between, you know, butcher box,
butcher box meat and a frozen pizza.
- Didn't work.
- Yeah, I put it between like, you know what I mean?
And then like one day we're like,
we'll eat a pork chop, and we lifted it, right?
And there was like,
Ander Santino fucking piece of pizza.
- Just my face.
- No, just your name.
- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah, and I ripped it up, I go.
- Oh, you ripped it up?
- Yeah, he's not banished.
- Well, that's why I was having back pain that day.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, you got black back, maybe that?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- I was like, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
- Bind this motherfucker.
- Oh, unbound.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.