Name: Caveman ADHD | Ep 309 | Bad Friends
Uploaded: 2026-02-23T17:00:21.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Caveman ADHD | Ep 309 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2026-02-23. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Caveman ADHD | Ep 309 | Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2026-02-23. Transcript available.

Caveman ADHD | Ep 309 | Bad Friends

Hey, everybody, we have new merch. We love it, man.
Check it out, baby. Check it out.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We've got this beautiful sweater here that's in gray.
We've got the yellow one for Bobby.
Mustard.
Mustard. And this is, what color is this?
What?
Pink.
Very good.
Salmon.
Salmon.
Salmon.
So we got new merch. Go to badfriendsmerch.com, badfriendsmerch.com to grab
this stuff right now.
Because like, you know, everything, it's always a little bit limited.
When it's gone, it's gone. Go to badfriendsmerch.com.
Hey, bad friends, I'm doing a couple of shows before I take a little break.
And Bobby and I, March 14th, are going to be at Thunder Valley Casino, which is
basically...
It's my favorite casino, Thunder Valley.
It's Sacramento. It's Lincoln, California, but basically Sacramento, March 14th.
Then I'm going to be the 21st of March. I'm going to be at the Wynn Casino in
Vegas.
I'm doing the Little Roadie Fest out there in Providence, Rhode Island in March.
Then we make up that Borgata date in Atlantic City, April 3rd.
And then finally, the Bad Friends, we do a show for Netflix is a Joke Fest May
8th at the YouTube theater right here in L.A.
You've got to come to May 8th. It's going to be a fabulous thing.
Please come. You can go get tickets at andrewsantino.com for my dates and for
ours together or also badfriendspod.com.
Do it, do it, do it.
Come see us.
Do it now.
You two are bad friends.
Who are these two idiots?
A white dude and an Asian dude.
You two are disgusting.
You two are something.
We're bad friends.
Yee-hee.
Yee-hee.
Yee-hee.
God, I love this guy.
Well, congrats to Michael Jackson.
We're posthumously getting a movie released here.
April release date.
I'm in the movie.
What do you do in the movie?
You don't, what do I play?
Who do you play?
Bubbles.
Oh, you're Bubbles.
Little tiny Bubbles.
He's like, don't, don't bite that.
Bubbles.
Don't, don't bite that, don't bite that kid.
Bubbles, get down from there.
Bubbles, cut that out.
Bubbles is still alive.
You want Bubbles to stop?
You know he's still alive?
No, he's not.
Yeah, Bubbles, yeah, because they, they live as long as humans.
Wait, Bubbles is, yeah, he's like 63.
Where does he live?
He's in Florida.
West Palm?
Florida.
Let's go down there.
Let's go see him.
What?
Let's go say hi to him.
He's hanging out with Coco.
He's only 42 years old.
He's my age.
Bubbles and I are the same age.
Yeah, he looks way better than you.
A hundred percent.
He resides at the Center for Great Apes in Wachula, Florida, Sanctuary that
provides care.
We got to go down and see Bubbs.
Yeah, we got to see him.
Look at him.
He's so much happier.
He was miserable at Neverland.
Look at, he went, look at, he went bald because all the stuff he saw, thinking
about
all the trauma he had, he went bald.
Look at his face there.
Help me with Michael.
Look at that face.
Look at what he's seen in 42 years.
Yeah.
I've ran into this guy on the street before.
It's like he was in NOM.
Look at his face.
He was.
Yeah.
God, what a cutie.
Bubbles doesn't need to see that.
Yeah.
Do you think when he dies, he sees Michael, he'll be happy?
No.
Terrified.
Yeah.
He'll run to a different cloud.
Yeah.
Terrified.
Are there clouds in heaven?
A hundred percent.
Yeah.
That's what it is up there.
I wonder what these clouds.
Can you chill on it?
Do you can?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I can?
Yeah.
It's so much different than life on earth.
Dude, if I was in heaven and I was chilling on a cloud and you floated by with
your little
angel wings.
Mm-hmm.
You know what I mean?
First of all, I'd be like, oh my God, there's a porg.
Yeah.
They fly.
You know what I mean?
Porgs in heaven.
That was a Clapton song.
Porgs in heaven.
Porgs in heaven, yeah.
Uh-huh.
And I'd be like, no, that's Andrea.
Would you talk?
No way.
There's so many people to see.
No way.
There's so many people to talk to.
That's work.
You guys wouldn't be in the same part of heaven.
Uh-uh.
There's no chance.
You'd be sectionally, you'd be nowhere near each other.
You'd be in the VIP.
Oh, yeah, definitely.
This guy's not getting into the suites.
I'm with Cleopatra.
Yeah, dude.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's in general admission.
Diva Queen, Cleopatra.
All right.
Who else am I?
Paul Revere.
Yup.
Kindermon.
I'm trying to choose my clown.
You are.
Who's going to hang out?
You are.
Cleopatra.
Who else?
Judas wouldn't be there, right?
He might.
He might be there.
You never know.
He might have snuck in.
Yeah.
He's sneaky, Judas.
St. Nicholas.
Yes.
Santa.
Yeah, yeah.
I'd have to hang out with St. Nicholas.
He's a saint.
He is.
And he's fat.
He knows where the good food is.
He does.
Yeah, yeah.
I'll go get me a gingerbread.
Right.
You know what I mean?
I'll get it.
Eggnog.
Get it, St. Nick.
He knows all the good shit.
He knows where to get it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, Fancy's in Gen Pop.
Gen Pop.
Who's on your cloud?
Who's in my cloud?
In heaven.
Bundy.
Bundy's not there.
What do you mean?
Bundy's not there.
Why would he not be?
He's a serial killer.
He's in hell.
Okay.
All right.
They're not clouds in hell?
Yeah.
Maybe he could get a pass.
Day pass?
You got him a-
A fast pass?
A fast pass.
And he has to go back down at night?
Yeah.
But during the day, he can come up.
What about like Ted Kaczynski?
He's not up there, dude.
Come on.
No, tell me people that would be up there.
That would be with me?
Guaranteed up there.
Okay.
OJ.
He could be.
He could be, for sure.
I mean, he won a Heisman Trophy.
Yes, dude.
Just this all day?
That's a ticket to heaven.
If you're a sinner, you can still get into heaven.
Yeah, so-
If you accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord of the Son
right before you died.
Uh-huh.
Or in limbo, you can do it, too.
By the way, speaking of deaths, let's be honest.
Catherine O'Hara.
Fucking annoying.
It's devastating.
It was awful.
She was so cool, man.
You met her?
Did I never tell you this story?
No.
Yeah.
I've never met her.
We hung out.
No.
No, we never hung out.
You never?
No, I never told you this story.
I thought I told the story on the show.
Yes, you did.
I have told this on the show.
She went to your show.
She went to see me at the improv.
This is a quick, I'll do it quick for the fans, but-
No, this is great.
No, no.
I didn't, here's the crazy.
I didn't get to meet her.
Yeah.
When I did the Christopher Guest show,
some reason, somehow, she was around
and had said she wanted to go see me live, I guess,
after I did the show with Guest.
The old sound guy was like,
Catherine O'Hara is here to see you.
Oh, my God.
This is great.
And I was like, no, she's fucking not.
Look at this guy.
I swear to God.
Barack Obama.
Yep.
Taylor Swift.
Catherine O'Hara.
Oh, my God.
I never met her, but I was sad to not meet her
because I was such a, she was one of my favorite-
Wait, you performed and she was in the audience?
Did the improv.
She sat there and then the sound guy came back down
after I went upstairs and I said,
where is she?
And he said, she was loving it.
She laughed the whole show.
And then the moment you got off,
she got up and left.
And I was like, no way.
He's like, yeah.
Oh, my God.
You never saw her after.
No, but she came to see me,
which was kind of rad.
Go down quickly.
Yeah.
Dude, I got nervous.
I didn't know what to, I don't know.
What was I going to say?
Yeah.
Hi, you're the best.
Yeah.
And then she would be like,
that's great.
Bye.
She wanted to go home.
Well, I got a three-fingered squeeze on my hand
from Steven Tyler.
Wow.
Yeah.
So I was with Josh home.
Was this recently?
Yeah, four days ago.
Okay.
At the comedy store.
Mm-hmm.
And Steven Tyler walked in,
walked out of the club,
this paparazzi up,
you know where the-
On the ramp?
On the ramp.
Yeah.
Right?
And-
Oh, she looks pretty.
Yeah.
So it was the Brittany Furlong.
I had met him before,
and I go, hi, Steven.
And he doesn't look at me.
He takes his three fingers like this,
right?
Mm-hmm.
Like a pterodactyl, right?
And squeezes my hand as hard as he can,
like a chameleon.
Yeah, like a chameleon.
And then just,
and then he just kind of walked away.
But three fingers is fine.
He didn't say hi?
He didn't look at me.
He goes, hey, you know how the rocks are?
They can say whatever they want.
I think he said, hey, Coco Bear Bear, no, no.
Oh, Coco Bear, no, no, no.
He goes, hey, Coco Bear Bear, no, no, no, no.
And he walked away.
See, you respect that, huh?
What?
I think fuck that, dude.
Say hi to me, you fuckhead.
There's a lot of people around him.
Did you, he came to see you?
No, no, no.
He was there doing his Benefit show.
Oh, this, I thought this was a,
him and Josh Holm were there to see you.
Bobby's nicked him in the crowd.
Oh, yeah.
Were you just like a random fan?
Yeah.
Oh, wow.
I thought about this way differently.
What is going on today, dude?
Everything I'm saying is not good.
Coco Bear Bear.
Coco Bear Bear?
Dude, let me tell you something, guy.
Yeah.
Go ahead, rip on me.
Let's get it out.
Let's get it out.
Who are we talking to?
I didn't say anything.
Yeah, you're a part of it.
What did I do?
I just said-
There's a conspiracy going on.
Oh, my God.
Here we go.
All right, anyway.
Speaking of conspiracy, show the Epstein list.
Let's see him.
Pull it up.
Pull it up.
You know who is on the Epstein list, by the way?
A bunch of comedic friends of ours, because apparently, I talked to DeRosa
about this.
He went to go see Dave Attell was doing a taping at the Cellar, and his buddy
gave him the lineup that night.
So it was like Big Jay Oakerson, like a bunch of guys that he went to go see
for a Dave Attell taping.
It was for Attell, and he's like, you're going to love tonight.
And he listed the names at the Cellar, and a bunch of people that we know are
on it.
And DeRosa goes, I was kind of bummed I wasn't on it.
One of the comics performing that night.
They went to a party of his?
Dave Attell had a taping at the Cellar, and they were doing a TV taping for
like a small, quick stand-up taping thing that he was doing.
And Epstein was emailing someone, his constituents, about the show that evening.
And he was saying, you're going to love it tonight.
Here's the guys who are on the lineup.
Who are on the lineup?
You can look it up.
It's on there.
It's like Big Jay Oakerson.
Was DeRosa on the lineup, and he wasn't mentioned?
No, he wasn't on the lineup.
But he did the show the next night.
I see.
So he was bummed about that.
Yeah.
I don't know if you're going to find it.
I don't know where DeRosa found it.
He said it got pushed around a little bit.
Like, so many people are on that thing.
The Epstein list.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's wild.
And not the list, but they're just mentioned in emails and this and that.
Well, yeah.
It's like, yeah.
He knew a lot of people, turns out.
He knew a lot of people.
Turns out knew a lot of people, dude.
You know what's even crazier?
I said this today in the car.
All these tinfoil hat people that said that, remember Pizzagate?
Yeah.
And we were like, come on, they're not pizza.
What is that?
It's all real.
It's like 50 pages of people going, can't wait to get more pizza tonight.
Pizza party was so good.
Wow.
You didn't see this?
No.
Oh, my God, dude.
There it is.
Comedians in the Epstein list.
Go ahead.
Zoom in.
Comedy seller, Jeffrey E.
Louis J. Gomez, David Tell, Russ Meneve, Sabrina Jalise, Jay Oakerson, and
surprise guests.
Wow.
Wow.
Yeah.
He had a good lineup.
Russ Meneve.
Maybe those comics influenced Epstein.
Maybe before this, he wasn't even interested in having an island.
Wow.
So he went to the show?
He went to go see those guys live.
Wow, wow, wow, wow.
He went to go to the comedy seller.
Crazy.
Yeah, but pizza was real, dude.
The pizza thing is crazy.
It's all over the files.
All you see all the time is, like, starving for more pizza.
They went to the pizza parlor.
They went downstairs.
There was nothing there.
No, dude.
No, no, no.
Literally.
Pizza was code.
Pizza was code.
Oh.
Yeah.
But the Pizzagate thing was an actual place.
I know, but they were using it because they were using that code.
They were saying the place wasn't real, but it was a 