Name: Boiled Hamburgers w/ Brad Williams | Ep 316 Bad Friends
Uploaded: 2026-04-13T16:00:45.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Boiled Hamburgers w/ Brad Williams | Ep 316 Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2026-04-13. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Boiled Hamburgers w/ Brad Williams | Ep 316 Bad Friends' from Bad Friends on Comedy Buff. Published 2026-04-13. Transcript available.

Boiled Hamburgers w/ Brad Williams | Ep 316 Bad Friends

you two are bad friends who are these two idiots white dude and an asian dude
you two are disgusting you two are something we're bad friends somebody's back
from out of town he's
tired he's sad he's down he's drinking coffee coffee great thanks for coming
out to uh lincoln
that show was great what exactly oh thank you for coming out and you were great
oh sacramento
lincoln california what what a good show exactly i didn't know what you were
saying you were like
thanks for thanking lincoln well because i was trying to think is it sack or lincoln
it was
they said it was something else didn't they didn't they say it was lincoln oh lincoln
yeah yeah lincoln
logs yeah so um thanks for coming that was a great show you were on fire that
night what do
you mean you killed it and um okay what do you mean you just shrugged me off no
i didn't you did no
because check the tape i know but i'll tell you why why because i'm because i
know if i said what
i was going to say that was going to start a fight so i didn't say what i was
going to say say what
you're going to say i didn't think i had a great set and now here we go that it's
annoying so that's
why i edited it out okay well let's go to something better fancy was wasted
that you were wasted i've
never seen you that i've never seen you drunk at all ever hammered yeah you
were hammered one drink
one drink you're alive no no no i i i i poured you whiskey you drink that bobby
poured you a full
glass but i have to say on stage though you had the two biggest laughs out of
even both of us see
right see was that's a home run perfect the timing of it it was so so good what
was the second punch
line it was a big one yeah you got one more big pop you got two it was based on
somebody that was on
stage it was a guy personality oh yeah the personality person yeah personality
i'm one word
uh yeah yeah yeah and i looked at you as if to say you know congratulations
sometimes you hit the ball
sometimes he really hits it hard really huge rippling loud and because of that
we got a little
gift for you here this says hey bad friends i found this fancy b special while
thrifting and just had to
send it along thanks for the making all the best podcast on the internet your
number 69 fan
mike shout out to mike he of course gave fancy a shirt i'm sure he owns oh that
was an israeli flag it is
wow do you own this shirt i do not no that does not look good you think that
looks good that does
not look good yeah it's also double xl which looks it looks is that a decision
well i think so it's a
desi well what from a thrift store oh from a thrift store oh that's an antique
i'm like what a thrifty
disease imagine on antiques roadshow somebody's like i found this in an attic
it's a decidual shirt
yeah and they're like these things are amazing they're very valuable uh almost
even a hundred years
from now oh yeah yeah almost nobody wore no one wore them only one guy from spain
he was their man and
clientele dizzy well was founded in barcelona in 1984 by swiss businessman thomas
meyer the brand
originated with the aim of creating a different meaning desi qual affordable
fashion style that
stood out characterized by vibrant colors patchwork and bold mediterranean
inspired designs
it was founded on the concept of upcycling starting with a jacket made from reassembled
patches of used
denim so it's old that they threw together and then sold to you at a premium
yeah i mean brilliant
conceptually it's cool it's just i think they're using the wrong patterns
execution yeah the execution
is bad i think the idea is good it is very yeah yeah but they've like i could
take this right and then
this and put it into a shirt but necessarily it doesn't look good doesn't look
good like yeah yeah yeah
yeah you're gonna find the right combination i think you haven't found your
groove yeah the emperor
has yet to find his new groove i'll keep trying but it was incredible time up
in sacramento incredible
and then you immediately come home and you jumped on a flight to go across the
country once again you
you you you got to be i'm exhausted you're amelia airhardt dog you're flying
all over the place
well also it's like um so we finished the show saturday and then i get we fly
back that night
and then i show up to the airport pretty early and then five hour delay five
hour yeah i'm going
home csa yeah so i'm sitting there at the airport i hadn't had not slept went
to philly then shoot
are they still on strike or is it bad on the way back it's bad really oh it's
bad yeah houston really
hard still for weeks it's five hours really bad well i don't care about houston
but yeah but out here
i told honey to buy me 5 000 smart waters which is what we're doing 5 000 yeah
smart why do you you like
smart water no no it's not that i like it it's just that um i have this fear
that the world is ending
right somebody gets seeds i'm gonna do the whole thing you you're gonna get
seeds yeah what kind
of seeds sunflower barbecue ranch so you need to eat no i mean the plant no to
plant no it's a plan
yeah yeah you could chew on those for days yeah yeah i'm gonna get that you
know i mean chili lime
the hispanic one i like those if you plant those maybe a chili land sunflower
seed will just a mexican
guy grows in your backyard yeah what i'm gonna do is i'm gonna convert my
backyard because i have the
um that that um not asphalt but the fake grass what do you call that fake grass
is that's what
they call it i think so i mean what do they call it i mean turf turf yeah i
have turf i'm gonna take
that out put real american soil on there american soil yeah i'm gonna put
american soul on there man
i'm gonna get american seeds you know what i mean i'm not growing hummus
i'm growing hummus dude okay you know what i mean is that american
tomatoes is that's a net yahoo joke yeah it is no it's not dude yeah okay yeah
i'm not doing that
i'm not doing fucking goya it's goya it's goya i think what is goya okay it
just sounds like a greek
thing i don't know is hispanic yeah i'm not only american you know vegetables
and hot dogs cheese
you can't grow hot dogs pretzels no no i'm growing vegetables and fruits well
you don't grow hummus
either you don't grow hummus chickpea it's a bean it's chickpea it's a chickpea
well how do you get
chickpeas you grow it exactly that's what i'm saying no chickpeas no chickpeas
in our house not
well no i mean i'll eat it like if i'm with you know no it's american we're not
doing that no i
love hummus but i'm just saying all right i do love hummus but look chickpeas
are very easy to grow
oh nutrient dense and drought tolerant legumes that thrive in warm weather maturing
in 90 days all
right i'll get chickpeas i'll do chickpeas we'll be hummus boys yeah we'll be
hummus boys but i just
think that i have this fear that something's about to happen so i'm gonna y2k
this do you think a global
that's the one right yes y2k yeah and you know what happened there nothing yeah
i know so it's
going to be the same result it doesn't matter though because it could happen
the global food
source will be depleted in your opinion in the next couple of years we're about
to run out something
well the straighter moose is closed we don't know when that's going to open up
so we'll just
make it crooked then crooked the hummus if we can yeah stop straightening that
thing out yeah
you know what i should have done what do i should have done i'm so tired um you
know 200 years
ago they should just widen that thing but they have no foresight yeah i mean
but hey we could
to make it wider what the straight yeah wider be good bigger yeah yeah you
should have been a civil
engineer i know i watched pluribus again last night and that is literally what
we're kind of what we're
talking about yeah yeah did you finish it gosh it's pretty good i got one left
i think it's a really
good show but we got to watch it in chunks because it's anxiety inducing so i
can't get through the
whole thing at one you have no anxiety huh you have no anxiety i have all of it
about the world
oh oh about the world yeah no i was i'm comfortable dude i'm comfortably numb
oh you're not like the
song yeah i have become comfortably comfortably it's a good song yeah you
nailed it yeah yeah
yeah yeah uh the doomsday clock january 27 2026 as of this year was set at 85
seconds to midnight
closest the clock has ever been to midnight in its history wow well speed it up
push the seconds over
let's have fun yeah there's a lot of anxiety i feel in the world i think maybe
i'm just like
you know i mean a sensitive guy and i just can feel things but like you know
when you walk into a
coffee shop and you look at somebody right what's wrong i'm a sensitive guy i
could feel things
you're an empath is that what you you're thinking i'm dating a witch you are
dating yeah so it rubs
off i'm here i know my eye i i can't you know what she told me i can't see out
of my right eye what are
you guys doing yeah yeah like she she told me the other night that she can see
the future and stuff
like that what did she see she goes she stopped doing it because it's like too
much she gets tired
that's her reason i mean she got taught it you know i mean that's also not just
look into the future
like like look into people's and communicate with like spirits and stuff right
and she's like it's
i could run a three minute mile but i just don't want to do it yeah yeah no but
i just don't feel
like doing it but i can that's pretty much it yeah it's ridiculous that's not
ridiculous you can do it
but you just won't no you literally can't you can though physical limit can you
a three minute mile
no okay no nobody can okay no one can write a do a three minute mile not you or
me i know but there
are people out in the world that can yeah maybe like uh mofongo yeah yeah he
can do it yeah yeah well
the girl that i'm dating is the mofongo mofongo of witches no human has ever
run a three minute mile
okay wait a minute she said she could look into the future i need to hear the
rest not the future
it's more like um she can um see things communicate with spirits and see things
in the past and um
that's the opposite
she's going the wrong way she's oh yeah she's she's in wait dude she's in that
other universe
communicating and she's going backwards and they're like the information's up
here
she took i i don't know why you guys are laughing at this you know i mean
religion
it's absolutely mind-boggling dude you it's absolutely mind-boggling me that
you would take
one's religion and mock it which is in magic practitioners often use div divination
such as
tarot runes or scrying she's crying all the time doc yeah yeah yeah one time
her dog actually started
scrying do i believe they they cry different they scry oh they're right yeah
yeah yeah they don't
yeah it's even more painful yeah yeah so they float when they cry yeah so you
know to we live in a
country where we have freedom of religion that's right baby best country in the
world and for you to
mock one's religion is to me absurd and offending time out it offends me you're
allowed to have the
freedom to religion to any religion yeah i have the freedom of speech to mock
your religion which
religion is this yeah witchery witchcraft witchcraft is a religion it is a
religion but i have the
freedom of voodooism is a religion is it not yeah it is but we can mock it that's
the whole point of
freedom of speech wicca like how wiccans yeah wiccans yeah yeah but you know
what you're saying is
contradictory in of itself if it's protected religion then so is speech so we
can make fun of it that's the
point but it's kind of my religion it's not yours i know i know it's not but i
want to defend uh the
right defend your people have the right to have their own religion and people
have the right and
i'll and you're laughing you guys are laughing as if like it's not real no no
it could be no no we're
laughing yeah it could be we're laughing because it's real that's the god she
believes yeah ye