Name: Tom Segura: The Early Years | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Uploaded: 2026-03-18T23:00:08.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Tom Segura: The Early Years | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2026-03-18. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Tom Segura: The Early Years | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2026-03-18. Transcript available.

Tom Segura: The Early Years | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast this
is are you
garbage oh yeah it's a little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and
we find that
i think you're up to be classy yeah they're just a big old piece of trash tommy
buns
i'm your host ace fully coming at you on a beautiful day we're down here in
austin texas
at toady ranch soon to be the premier producer of longhorn beef my co-host is
coming right next
to me he is the ceo of are you garbage international businessman my best pal in
the whole wide world
give it up for kj kevin james ryan everybody what up gang shout out to you uh
thanks for tuning in as
always please make sure you rate review subscribe on itunes full video
available on youtube full video
available over there on spotify baby climbing the chart shout out to the
creator program and we're
not the top of the charts it doesn't matter middle of the charts you know what
i mean who wants to be
in the top of the pack not us we're a couple of middle of the road kind of guys
uh then obviously
patreon.com so i'll show you garbage you go over there you get all that bonus
content gang that's
right and gang we couldn't be more excited ever incredibly and i mean
incredibly special guest
back with us again today you know him you love him mr tom segura thank you tommy
buns thank you
entrepreneur actor producer podcaster this has real dateline vibes it does it
does it does yeah i feel
like tom what are you doing here where i buried the kids there's no way i'm
gonna make it with this
fireplace either i'm already schvitzing i love the ranch by the way thank you
yeah i totally bought it
when you were like i just bought the plate i was like oh yeah in my head i was
like damn i'm not
doing as bad as everybody thinks this is about no i gotta push back on that you
really thought i could
have swung this me personally could have swung this i didn't doubt it when you
said it man yeah all
right well it's not like there's a hell of that loser yeah we taught is a nice
nice it's all brick
stone whatever it is it's nice it's really nice nice joint yeah what did you
think when get the hell out of
my house it was it's a it's a nice property it's an airbnb we spent more money
on it than we made this
week sure and that's how you got operate so perfect well i i called because
when i got the address i
pulled up and i called my guy and i was like hey man this is a house he had a
house so i thought it was
like a studio sure and he was like i don't know i was like it's a house i don't
think this is right
this is like a big ranch house he was like let me check and then the gate
opened i was like oh it's
the right place a couple cartel guys out front yeah you roll deep baby some sicario
yeah but we
were all looking at the window we're like i wonder what he's gonna pull up in
and then like he's here
we're all like peering out the window like dude we do not belong here i wanted
to go through the
garage and play casual you guys had me go to the front door it was a nice
welcome front door is a nice
welcome yeah you don't want you i mean that's a classy classy welcome yeah we're
gonna dude we had
there's first of all there's about 10 000 empty beer cans in the garage we didn't
rich guys everybody
comes to the garage nobody goes to the front door your house today somebody
comes over they're coming
to the garage um no they come in the front door okay that's why i don't know i
love what you i love
i love what your understanding of what rich people you think rich people do
everybody comes into the
window the last one thing i want to ask you about now because we're going to go
back a little bit to
get to your trashiest era yeah um like the bakery you got the bakery going now
yeah
there's that let's hit that so okay right now we have our pop-up is at the fairgrounds
downtown okay
and then today we opened a remote no shit like also downtown and then the grand
opening of our big
place is may 1st it's on south lamar huh now how involved in that are you i
mean i have um says and
like and you're showing up to meetings actually i go up yeah i go there yeah so
my question is when
you show up to these meetings you always have the glasses on right to look
smart and sharp probably
yeah that's a weird i wear those almost looking over blueprints yeah what is
this um very nice now
if i were to go in there and maybe drop your name would i be like what i get
there's nobody that
connection close right if i'm like i know you know is tom here you know what i
mean like is tom in the
back that i mean they would tell you for sure i mean i go there so yeah they
would be like yeah he's here
or no he's not i'm gonna try this afternoon these are like off the boat italians
though you know like
these are the real deal they don't like you and i don't do well with italians
are you are you boss
like you would you like correct and collect correct an employee or anything
like that like hey wash your
hands what are you guys doing you're not doing that right now nice because they
i they manage like
it's i'm their partner he's not the shift manager you guys clean the bathrooms
if i saw something bad
though what i would do is just tell the guy i'd be like yo this guy's a if you
walked into the
locker and i was smoking a bowl in there would you rather you know dickhead he's
doing whip it no
you know it's so good though i have to i almost have to stay away sure it's
this guy is making
pastry crack you know it's it's so we gotta go you have to go let's just recap
you got the bakery
you just finished season two of bad thoughts yeah right you're shooting the
movie i shot i shot one
over the summer movie shot the one shot with lt gray right yep so pretty
fantastic that was great
that was so much fun everything's good it's good yeah said you just got a new
place you got a hot
new car outside you got the family you got the pods you got everything going on
it's good right now
everything's good yeah the the best form of tom segura that you've ever been is
probably right now
it's probably right now yeah that has not always been the case no has it no i
sent you a picture
of yourself a couple of weeks ago yeah yeah dude you were like i what how big
are you in your button
downs oh that's right from the you were like that was from the podcast i was
like this is a wild
picture it's a while you're like what's up with the fit and then as soon as you
said that it clicked
and i was like oh that's a shirt from hong kong yeah that uh was custom made
for me because i couldn't
buy shirts in stores dude yeah you look dude you look like why hong kong you
look like an enforcer
for the ukrainian mob it's like a wild choice because okay i'll tell you why so
i shot i shot my first
special in 2013. it came out in 2014. this is a netflix special netflix special
this was the one
that so it's not a you know they do license they do originals right so this was
a licensed special
all right do you remember the first weekend you sold out i remember here's what
i remember i remember
that the special came out in march of 2014. i remember that in june or july i
played the cleveland
improv and the guy was a real ball buster there lee and uh he goes he goes i
don't know what's going on
but you hit some bonuses and i don't know why thanks lee i go what he goes i
don't know i have
this doesn't make any sense but you hit bonuses i'm not a fan i think it's a
bit pedestrian yeah
people are coming for people that don't know what happens is like when you're
selling tickets in clubs
you have like a flat this is when you're starting out sure you have a flat rate
and that's like no
matter what then you move into the next tier which is you have your rate plus
if a certain amount of
people come to shows you get bonuses so it might be like 500 a show 300 a show
it's just different rates
that will bump up your pay and you're always like gauging those right you're
always like
how am i close yeah why am i close and they're like no so these are all paper
tickets yeah they're like
this is free so that weekend though he had told me he was like you hit some
bonuses i don't understand
and i wasn't even like oh it's the special because the special comes out
special comes out
you're seeing at the time twitter and you're just like yeah some people are
like hey i saw your special
and then nothing like literally the only metric to really at that time then a
month later you're like
did my life change no like everything is the same and then you're just like
back to it back to the
cleveland improv so that's what i was doing and it was like he was like you hit
bonuses and then i
remember that i did san francisco i did cobs great club at the like towards the
end of the year and
i had i was working contracts that were signed or way earlier sure so you got
deals it was like
deals but i walked away from that club with like i think the guarantee was like
two or 1800 and i left
with like 9 000 and i was like that's okay you could have told me it was 200. i
was just like
what and at that point it was like clear that i was selling tickets 2015. oh
wait so in 14
the special had been out a little while i think we're in like september october
i'm starting to
like clearly sell tickets right and i do a tour of asia with um with uh pete
lee what oh the
documentary and there's a documentary okay i need you to kill yeah it's on i
think it's on prime
while we're there you did the richest i've ever seen in that you he couldn't
remember his bits so he
bought an old album and i'm like oh yeah what the fuck yeah you just spent 14
bucks to hear your own
shit this guy's got some cash dude that's happened to me multiple times where i
got hired to do a
private and i made the mistake this is a mistake just so you know if you're
ever doing a private
and no one's hiring us to do private gigs well if you do it they'll sometimes
you'll meet people
that are written a video like the buyers ahead of time and i think a nervous
thing to do is be like
hey you know like this is what i had done i was like hey you know i'm on i'm on
a tour i'm just
doing i'm doing the act i'm doing the act that i'm doing on tour and i've said
that to people at
privates before the show and they're like no no i want you to do like this this
and this like they'll
name the stuff you see the stuff they've seen that they like of you and then i'm
like that's from
like eight years ago or something and i've had to go and download an album and
listen to it and
then it all up like i get it all wrong but anyway when i was in hong kong i i
got you guys got suits
made we got suits made but i also had like the guy took measurements and did
shirts and i just kept
ballooning i just kept getting fatter you were a big boy oh that and that's not
even the worst of it
what was your fattest the fattest is going to be like the end of 2015 beginning
of 16. because
that's new that's new that's new money that's that's a lot of dinners and rich
guy dinners and
it's also it's a emotional like what's going on how do i do this how do i
maintain this or
so i think the most ever got to was 265. that's what you see in that yeah is
that
hey you're a cute kid yeah yeah i mean what you're seeing there though that's
now yeah that's 265.
boy yeah um all right that's good so that's kind of the coming out of all that
yeah let's go back okay
go back um and some of this you might have talked about but we're going to do
in a kind of a linear
linear way which is interesting um where are you living in la all right so i
get to la january 2002
and i have no idea how la operates i also am not coming to do stand-up i'm
coming to do
like comedy acting that's what i think my path is comedy acting you know i mean
like acting but
like i'm like oh i'll do like comedic comedic acting yeah that's what i think i'll
do so i
have you know what you're talking about well i mean you're explaining comedy
acting about like
i want to do acting but comedy yeah yeah i mean if you go i'm gonna be