Name: Back in the Basement! | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Uploaded: 2026-03-29T23:00:21.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Back in the Basement! | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2026-03-29. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Back in the Basement! | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2026-03-29. Transcript available.

Back in the Basement! | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

hey gang the back on the block tour rolls on we're going to be in chicago and
indiana
get your tickets at are you garbage.com and run up to squad come out and see us
yeah then
we're doing some pop-up shows in pots down pennsylvania at soul joel's baby
limited tickets
get them before they're gone and we're also doing the netflix as a joke
festival get your tickets
before they're gone we'd love to see you on the road do it la la land hey
everybody out there and
welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast this is are you garbage hey it's
that little show we sit
down with your favorite comedians and we find that if they're good to be classy
yeah or just a big old
piece of trash i'm your host age fully coming at you on a beautiful day as you
can tell we are back down
in the basement here at tooties we have major flood damage we have a leak uh-huh
in the roof yeah and it
drip down over our brand new studio edition that tootie put in with her hard-earned
slip and fall
money and tootie is now laying in that room where she has been for several days
with the neck brace on
in a crooked position because the insurance adjuster hasn't showed up but she
is not moving so she knows
that she's going to get some pain and suffering wet her beak i also have a bad
back from the from the
from the leak and i'm very traumatized from it yeah my co-host is not he's
totally cool he doesn't need
anything kevin ryan is with me here in the basement thanks a lot henry i'm just
thank you for uh pushing
through your emotional damage and physical uh in yes inabilities yes today with
the leak knocked out two of
of my teeth uh-huh and made my wieners small and put several pounds on me i've
been emotional eating
since then you call this a dick who's our insurance company here geico is that
who we have huh we got
the general fucking idiot really we keep you legal for less um we don't have geico
also listen what's
up everybody shout out to them shout out thanks for tuning in as always please
make sure you review
subscribe on itunes full video available on youtube full video available over
there on spotify
yes we are we're in the charts they're going we're in the top 100 on on all
podcasts and i believe the
top 50 on comedy pod you're trying to commit you guys you're trying to commit
insurance i'm not
trying to commit insurance wrong my neck hurts you then you shouldn't be
working these you lost wages
you made me commit no i didn't which i'm all counter sue kippy kippy screwed me
getting lost wages
who's our insurance here yes oh i like are you genuinely asking me outside of
the bit i want the number uh it's an
asian woman in north jersey that is true right out my alley her name's her name's
karen hey you can't say
your name why let's see we start hooking up then everybody's gonna know uh
anyway
oh where am i i'm a little disoriented i'm blind from the black mold all the
pain and suffering
yeah we got a leak man yeah we're jammed up yeah so we told the homies on on
the page earlier today we
had uh um a leak in the bathroom about a month ago that's that roof caved in
and then we have a leak in
the studio okay where all my toys are which i hope all my gi joe guys are cool
otherwise well then you're talking about the u.s government
yeah it's a bit of a it's a it's a bigger issue than we
thought they gotta there's you know they gotta there's a lot of sanding going
on a lot of steam
cleaning like we're the boys are the boys are jammed up so hopefully this is
our first and final public
episode from i like it down here i think it's pretty cool luke's on the couch
sitting there like
a stoner yeah i don't love the i don't love this we're in the middle i mean
this is yeah this is yeah
what it's cool uh-huh we're hanging out we're hanging quit being a bitch okay
get some pizzas or
something uh-huh this is when you gotta eat so you were starting to diet in
crisis yeah if you had a
feed a crisis yeah there's going on i'm surprised the neighbors aren't sending
gift baskets and stuff
like that yeah this has been a very traumatic time for everybody involved it
has um speaking of traumatic
times i was down uh with my mother oh sorry to hear who are you suing for that
yikes i was down there with patty she's babysitting uh my uh niece my dog niece
your dog niece my brother's
dog okay is that how you say that no okay i just wanted to freak you out a
little bit oh yeah it
worked suing pain and suffering creep me out yeah which i never really had a
big connection with this
dog but i spent a couple days with her she's pretty cool okay we did the snuggles
couple big walks all
that kind of stuff um it's close to easter time right heathens out there the
dumbest jesus was
resurrected sure uh and around that time first of all i saw a thing on the news
that spending on easter
candy is up like 675 this year whoa would you get a raise or something jimachi
hey check that carbon
monoxide detector talk about a stimmy check hachi machi gang if you can still
get stock in peeps buy
now never but i eat peeps um
but my mom has the joint decorator for easter she's got the easter stuff out
i sent you both a picture because we don't have certain technical we don't have
a screen we don't
have a screen because that's in the studio that's soaking wet oh so you just so
i mean pull the fourth
wall luke and diesel we're trying to if i can get all new equipment i know i
need a new car i need a
new bike to leak the leak got all my shoes there's a hundred thousand dollars
in cash i have in there
get all wet because that gets real bad and then the vending machine don't take
my bills
how the hell am i supposed to eat yeah luke sure anyway all right so you want
me to look at the
picture i want you to look at the picture of the that's why that this broad
has the balls to put out in an easter candy basket first of all
just a couple it looks like what they give out at bellevue that's crazy dude
now i want to go on
record and say for a while patty has had a a bowl of good and plenties which i
in my older age have
have mentioned on this broadcast that i enjoy after a savory meal
what what is that a succulent after after some cutlets patty throws at you well
listen we all
know patty's an ace in the kitchen don't get me wrong but this with the black
licorice
i like the good and plenty's you start throwing in black jelly bean black and
white jelly beans what
they look like pills dude and you think there's one or two purple ones in there
i think that's a nexium
like a nurse ratchet over a couple of the drama mean floating around two of
those i wake up i got no
kidney underwear is all backwards my hair she's throwing key parties dude she's
a swinger these
are all he's getting these are sideways the blue the purple ones you would
think would be like grape
or something uh-uh it's that all-spice flavor you know what i'm talking about
it's like you put it on
chicken what are you doing yeah chicken flavored jelly beans it's like that clove
spice
shit it's like i'm taking a bite of deodorant there's too many different sizes
a bowl of candy
should at least be a colorful whatever but like even they everything looks
different tic tac or two in
air yeah not to mention she's got these dog treats that look just like teddy
graham's i came this close
to throwing a handful of them back she's trying to kill me down here uh-huh
anyway i just wanted to
point that out that's bad pretty whack bowl of candy but you know patty she's
probably watching
thank you for going to pick up franzone's you're the best i love you uh-huh she
stopped and got it
she got a pizza my my one of my favorite pizzas down there franzone's pizza and
concha hawk she picked
up a pie sweet pie love it delicious very good i don't want to get into the ice
cream situation that
was kind of a that was almost a war why because this all sounds really bad for
a 50 year old man
i said we should stop and get ice cream she said i have ice cream at the house
i get there there's like
three scoops and that's not enough for a man of your stature no because she was
getting like she was
having a cone said two scoops isn't enough for you two scoops what am i a bowl
of raisin bran get the
out of here two scoops you are an all-time dick watching our shows together it's
a big ncis uh-huh
big show 200 episodes something like that make a lot of money on that show yeah
uh-huh what kind of
ice cream are we talking it was chocolate chocolate chip turkey hill yes turkey
hill organic or something
like that whack probably not but i don't think the hill does organic they do
for marketing purposes
sure it's good chocolate chocolate chip where did you want to stop making ice
cream at like a joint
or like okay i'll tell you the truth yeah no thanks it's always it's always
smoking mirrors with you so
when i saw the i i said to her sometime earlier that day when she had gotten
back from the pizza i don't
have a license right now because it's still suspended because i got that thing
what's it
like being 14 complaining about ice cream i want my pizza this candy sucks and
the ice cream at home
is you get my back on a candy thing come on yeah but this is good i ate the
black i ate the black
liquor's jelly beans too listen you have a leg you have a leg to stand on when
you're complaining
about the jelly beans but that with the menagerie of other shortcomings i know
i know i did a bunch
of for her at the house last time i was there anyway i say do you have any ice
cream she says yes
i say what do you have she's like i had that chocolate chocolate chip i'm i'm i
like it it's
good i'm like sweet so i'm thinking you know half a half again some when you
say that you know there's not
a fucking the angela's ashes version in there we're you know we're cutting a
bean together so it comes
ice cream time right after uh abc world news with uh what's his name wester holt
is it that's nbc but she does not watch okay she watches abc world news with uh
what's the dude's name
david muir yeah david muir she watches that so that and then she's a sheep
no someone needs to red pill this bitch
have her come over denise's house she goes over here that jesse wooders
i'll have denise turn her out
anyway
uh um yeah so it comes time yeah it's ice cream time
dogs get their puppies right they just turned dog gets happy birthday the dogs
get their pup cup uh-huh
what whipped cream oh man a little dab will do you too i feel you took a little
whack off that didn't
you huh you need a nitrous mate get a get a quick wawa with the mom will you
yeah the dogs get a pup cup
so you know what am i fucking check off no no what she didn't have any whipped
cream but she had heavy
cream which i had used in my coffee earlier that day which caused a major spill
on my t-shirt because
i guess it's been sitting there for a little bit and the cream had formed on
top which is you know
it's good every cream and i i shook it nothing happened then i squeeze it and
it goes all over my shirt
so she had to wash that uh-huh i had my coffee with a little splash of heavy
cream try it out it's
delicious very good now does she let you use the telephone or well that worked
i can't make any long distance calls if we had a house line which we don't you're
not paying for that
someone calls that you pick up my mom's not here oh is that right yeah how old
are you 50.
he said not to banter the door for strangers but you sound like a nice guy man
i stink yeah i mean
i think anywho but i will give you a living back at home with your mom what not
just i'm not living
back at home you dick i was down there shooting a tv show listen i stopped at
my mom's to spend the
night before before i got a car and came back up to new york uh-huh where i'm
doing very well
personally personally i'm not living there dick i meant staying you know what i
meant i stayed a night
there all right that's all to spend time with my mother and to help her out
listen for a guy not
live with his mom you're short defensive like you she lives with me it's kind
o