Name: Bill Burr Makes Bill Hader Die of Laughter for 10 Minutes Straight
Uploaded: 2023-03-09T16:00:35.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr Makes Bill Hader Die of Laughter for 10 Minutes Straight' from Fans of Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-03-09. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr Makes Bill Hader Die of Laughter for 10 Minutes Straight' from Fans of Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-03-09. Transcript available.

Thursday afternoon um headspace amazing and uh it's eight incredible episodes
thank you I saw
the first two and then my link expired and then I couldn't get it to play I got
a new link and
then I melted down and my wife said you're bringing tension into the house so
that was
that's been my experience so far but having said that I absolutely loved loved
the first
two that I saw and here's the thing it's my own I blame myself so I can have
almonds I'm okay with
almonds but all the nuts I'm bad with so I go I'll have coffee and you all can
have almond milk in it
so it's almost like you're like a racist but with just like nuts right just
nuts those those are the
you stay with your own you stay with the almonds all these other ones get them
out of my house
all right you're a peanut supremacist I've never heard of that I thought if you
had like a peanut
allergy no I I fancy coffee place and they were like well we have an almond the
cashew blend that
comes and I can't have cashews so I had that and I took a drink of it backstage
excited about to go
on and I went I gotta go like how quick when you drink that how quick do you
know is it like getting
bit by a cobra yeah yeah like you just know all right that wasn't good I need
the you don't get you don't get bit by a cobra and go
I'm gonna wait I can do this 20 minutes I could do the podcast I'm fine my legs
all black and blue and it's an
Alec co-creative Barry he's not a very effusive guy and he was standing behind
me and Henry told this story
does that mean not emotional yeah he's Swedish I'm not smart neither am I
Swedish he's Swedish you know
he's like huh oh yeah I've done stand-up I've done stand-up through the whole
uh that whole region up
there Finland was the funniest one well they were just sitting there they were
trying to solve the
problem of the joke like I would sit there and I'm doing the joke and it was
just quiet and quiet and quiet and
then if somebody's just finally goes why didn't you just blah blah blah blah
and I was just like is that what you
fucking guys are doing I go you don't need to solve these this isn't like a
self-help thing
it's just why don't you just kick your wife out of the house yes bury her in
the backyard and say she
went to her mother's why don't you do that yeah so that was Finland though but
I definitely noticed
there was a when somebody that's known for doing comedy gets to do some drama
stuff because for some
reason they they think that I don't know who the comedian was that screwed it
up for the rest of us
I want to know who that person was and also who the person was that fucked up
so bad that we all
actors now have to get there like nine hours before you're gonna get called you
just sit there with
the fake mustache glued on your face it's just like who fucked up who fucked up
fatty arbuckle who
wasn't fatty arbuckle just was always was 20 minutes yeah 30 hours late 30
hours late so now
they gotta bring you in we gotta get the arbuckle rule I want all these assholes
here now at my worst
am my worst one ever I got called I was like um I don't know all the shows that
I watch you try to
guess what was gonna happen and now like there's all these great shows they
just dump it all and
people just sit down it's like you it's like the greatest bottle of wine ever
and you like shotgun it
you just wow it was amazing and then like what else can I have now and it's
just and I also have a I
feel for like the amount of work that was put into this because that's what
happens with the fucking
cartoon I'm doing which just I actually did a cartoon after because of those
getting called at four in
the afternoon not work until when I'm like dude fuck this live action shit I'm
gonna do a cartoon where I
just show up in a baseball hat and sweatpants and I didn't realize that it was
like 90 times slower
and then the thing comes out and people will watch it all in one night that's
great when's the next
season coming out it's just like I can't well might as well just be a movie you
know what I mean it's
like oh put it in the theater but I it was one of my favorite bits that I saw
from one of those evening
at the improvs and he was talking about how he was the youngest kid in this big
family and how strict
the parents were with the older kids and by the time it got down to him it was
uh you know uh it
was basically the only rule was no heroin in the living room and then one of my
favorite tags of all time
it was just like Brian you're not using one of the good spoons and that was
just like you know for a
clean joke and all that I really loved I got to actually run into him and tell
him and I remember
just talking to that guy and him just looking at me like how the fuck does this
kid oh my god
remember Bob Nelson that guy there was a guy Bob Nelson that's how they lived
their life I got a buddy of
mine uh Joe DeRosa was opening for me and you know it was after the show we did
in Boston I got
all my Boston friends you know hanging out or whatever and uh one of my buddies
offered to buy
a round of drinks we're all ordering drinks and my buddy Joe ordered a white
Russian and my friend
was just done with him and he came up to me he goes dude what's up with your
boy I go what's the matter
he goes he just ordered a white Russian and I didn't really think about it I
was like oh you know
he drinks white Russians he likes you know whatever that movie with the dude he
likes a big Lebowski
yeah he's a big Lebowski I didn't think of anything about it and then the end
of the night I'm walking
back with Joe he's just like hey you know like hanging out with friends he goes
yeah that's cool
he's like dude what are your friends was he was like really friendly and he was
like talking to me
then all of a sudden out of nowhere he just stopped talking to me and it was
just like it was it was all
based on the fact that he ordered a white Russian and we were well into our 30s
like late 30s and this
guy's still to this day and I remember a long time I just don't trust that guy
I don't I don't know
anybody like that I remember a long time ago he for some reason was giving the
responsibility to watch
the house of this married couple and of course so he immediately has this all
over there
and we're getting hammered and um and he's taking care of the house he went
down into the basement
and there was some sort of uh faucet nozzle or something you had to turn on or
off
and and and the lady left a post-it note on it saying you might have to uh turn
it a little harder
my husband said it's a little fussy and my buddy just went up and just
immediately turned it with no
problem at all and he just he just mutters this guy's a pussy
and we're in his house and he probably he just said that to his wife just being
you know
gentlemanly you know to a woman and then this my friend just totally judged
this guy that he was he
was not a man like his man like that's what I love about my friends back there
how easily you can
lose your man card and you have no idea and they won't even tell you why they
just stop talking to
you oh make me feel bad and then hey man did you try the dessert I you know I'm
trying not to eat
anything bad because you know the guys in the military are like oh fuck you man
oh yeah no it's
like oh you what you're dining now and I'm like why I yeah they just keep you
real I and no I end up
I just go back harder at them I can't say you know yeah I'm really trying to
work on my man tits
like you have and that's the only way to keep them off you dude I had another
friend the exact same
party he was telling me he was telling this story he's going where you staying
I told my hotel I was
staying and he was a construction guy he goes oh I worked on that he goes crazy
story we were we were
putting a flagpole or something up and he goes the fucking cable bro this guy
was underneath directing
the cable broke and just came slamming down on this guy oh geez I go Jesus
Christ I go did he die
and he goes did he die he was in fucking pieces and I go well what happened he
goes oh guys were puking
some people jumped in their truck and drove away and they got his dad was there
he had a heart attack
so we're all just sitting there like dead silence and then he just out of
nowhere he goes eh
kid was kind of a douche and then he goes he goes his dad was a good shit and
that actually broke the
tension and everybody started laughing and I just remember thinking like you
couldn't teach somebody
in an acting class how to take to somebody to such a dark place yeah and he
sensed it no he sensed that
yeah it's a weird thing but I I don't know yeah it's like I saw this cooking
show recently and this guy
he was doing something you know this fucking guy's traveling he goes Boston you
come here for a beer
in a beating and I just remember I was looking at my wife I go oh you go to
look at the foliage
it's just like how many times did you watch goodwill hunting before you went
there to steam your
asparagus that you felt you had to go that hard you know it's like there's also
mit there's harvard
hey tasty pudding or hasty pudding there's a lot of like you know you could go
get some oysters oysters
beer and a beating it's like all right I lived there for 27 years I never took
a beating
I walked away from fights and I was fine with it hey you're tougher than me
your dad was angrier than
my dad you win I'm out of here
steamy or asparagus yeah with your little poached egg on top I fucking hate the
food network now they
used to just have people there cooking and they teach you how to cook and then
it became you had to
have a personality and you know I I I and I respect this cooking but I blame
that
fucking Emerald Lugasi he's the guy I'm gonna put some sugar bam and he had a
studio audience in a band
I used to be the assistant there's a lot of that I want to know what else is I
know I'm too jaded that
I don't consider that groundbreaking I'm just like oh yeah you guys wanted an
episode off
I think the series regulars are bitching about their contract yeah that's that
guy but we got
to keep the train moving let's uh so let's do something about uh that guy that
guy yeah guess
what you're starting the show guess what asshole yeah you're carrying the show
and if it goes down
you never play a gardener in this town again you piece of shit um well anyways
uh thank you so much
for uh for coming on oh man this was a lot I feel like this oh my head hurts I'm
laughing so much
good that was great that's all my interviews want to be oh good I don't want
anybody to learn anything
about you I just want to give you a break from the same fucking 20 questions
but I'm so happy for you man