Name: Bill Burr Explains What Happened in his Philly Rant
Uploaded: 2023-04-19T17:00:02.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr Explains What Happened in his Philly Rant' from Fans of Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-04-19. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr Explains What Happened in his Philly Rant' from Fans of Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-04-19. Transcript available.

So anyways, kind of had to backtrack.
We pull in, and it looks like the Eagles are playing the Cowboys or something.
Yeah.
And we're like, this is a fucking comedy show?
Are they having, like, a preseason game here next?
Like, what's going on?
So we got in there, and yada, yada, yada.
It's still broad daylight because it's summer.
It's outside, and the place holds 10,000 people, and maybe, like, I don't know,
35%, 40% are in there.
Maybe 20% are sitting down.
The rest are walking around trying to find their seat, and Vos goes out and
brings up the first act, who I'm not going to name his name because he got booed.
He went out there.
He was from Philly, had all his family there and all that type of stuff, and it's
not Dom Irera, if everybody keeps guessing that one.
It was broad daylight.
He goes out there and just does his act, and within, I don't know how many
minutes, he starts getting booed.
And, dude, everybody backstage is just going like, oh, God, in their own way
going, it's going to be one of these, right?
And I'm looking at the list, how far down the list am I?
This is how it's starting.
So he goes out there, and, like, by the end of his act, it was this core group
of people that started booing him, and then it got a little bit bigger.
So there was probably, like, maybe like 1,000 people just chanting, asshole,
asshole.
And this guy was so deer in the headlights, he just ends his act with, like, as
they're chanting asshole, he just goes, thanks a lot.
You guys have been great.
Good night.
Right?
And gets off stage.
Had an absolutely stunned look on his face.
And I went up to him to try to console him, and I was kind of doing that, dude,
while kind of laughing because he had this stunt, like, what the fuck was that?
So then Voss goes out, Voss goes out, and he starts doing time.
And you've got to understand, Voss is doing time in front of a crowd that's
sort of going, I don't know why we started it, maybe it was one of those things,
you had to be out of the venue by a certain amount of time.
These people were getting fucked up, and they were still throwing footballs
around, and we're walking into the stadium, and Voss starts trying to do his
shit, which was impossible, dude.
It was like this bright sun, it was ridiculous.
So they start turning on him, and he goes, hey, he goes, you know, watch your
mouths or I'll bring so-and-so back.
And he shit on the first guy.
And to me, he just turned the keys over to the crowd where they do the Caesar
thumbs up, thumbs down, which is the vibe Voss likes and the vibe I don't like,
right?
So, dude, the lineup was insane.
Like, Tracy Morgan, Patrice O'Neal, Ralphie May, I think Bob Saget, Robert
Kelly, Don Myrara, myself, Opie and Anthony, and Jim Norton closing.
So, people, I don't know.
Like, what's his, I mean, I knew something was fucked up when Tracy Morgan went
out.
And he was supposed to do 15 to 20, and he pulled up at about 7 minutes, 50
seconds, in the middle of a bit, just stopped and went, thank you, good night,
God bless.
And just put the thing down.
And you know that deal, dude.
You do those uptown rooms.
Yeah.
They boo in those.
And you go into the black rooms enough, you can feel a boo coming.
Yeah.
And he was just looking around.
It's like he saw the ocean go out, and he went, oh, there's a tsunami coming,
guys.
Smartest fucking dude in the night.
He looked, this is a bunch of crazy, drunk, white people.
They're not going to remember if I did 7 minutes or 17.
Yeah.
God bless.
I'm out.
Put down the mic and fucking walked off.
And then Ralphie did his thing.
Patrice did his thing.
Bob Saget.
I think Patrice closed out the first half.
And then they had a break.
And at this point, now the sun's gone down.
And now it starts to look like the apocalypse now, like bridge scene that you
see on the YouTube video.
And what happened?
They showed a video in the middle.
Their video in the middle during the intermission was some guy had an ear
infection.
And somehow he dribbled some of the stuff out of it, and then another listener
drank it.
And then somebody watched who was watching it threw up in a barrel.
So that was the let's all go to the lobby moment.
Of that show.
So then the second half started.
Bobby went out.
Bobby went out and killed.
Had a great.
Because one of the big myths is that everyone was bombing.
They weren't.
Patrice killed.
Ralphie killed.
Tracy went on early.
Tracy, the sun, was going down.
So he was the smartest guy.
He was doing fine.
But it was starting to be like, all right, already.
Like that.
You just.
There's no way to get people sitting on grass.
There was lawn seats.
Yeah.
In broad daylight watching stand-up comedy.
And you're this fucking big.
And then there's a big.
And they're hammered.
It was an impossible situation.
So Bobby came out to start the second half.
And he killed.
And then Dom went out.
And Dom fucking A-level material standing there delivering it.
And about three quarters through his set, the boo birds started coming back.
Now, nobody is booed since the first guy.
So let's end that whole myth.
And the first guy went on around seven.
This is now around 9.45 at night, which is always great.
You know?
Yeah.
Let's do a three, three and a half hour comedy show outside.
Out of a drunk people.
What could go wrong?
During the change of day to night.
Oh, yeah.
So Dom, about three quarters through his set, they started.
The boo birds started.
And he just stood there like eloquently.
And he just said, you know, he goes, I'm not leaving.
He goes, why would you think I would ever leave?
And it was just almost like philosophical.
And they were kind of like, oh, yeah.
What were we thinking?
And they kind of stopped.
And then he ended the set.
He ended it on a good note.
And at that point, I was annoyed.
I was just annoyed because I was sitting there going like,
this is one of the greatest comedy lineups that I've been,
as far as up and coming guys, that I've been around.
And these fucking people are treating everybody like shit.
And, you know, and I'm a defensive fucking angry dude anyway.
So it was just kind of the perfect storm.
So I walked out there not even nervous.
I was like, these guys don't even deserve a show.
Fuck this.
What the fuck am I even doing on this tour?
So basically, I did the reverse of you praying.
I went the completely other way.
I walked in there like I was walking into like fucking Vons to go buy a fucking
chicken breast or something.
And, you know, like I had no nervousness.
Yeah.
And then all of a sudden they introduced me and the fucking whatever curtain or
whatever.
I walked out from behind.
I looked out and I just I was like, oh, my God.
So I was like, fuck, what joke am I going to do?
So I did the first one and it wasn't working.
So I bailed on it.
And then I did this next joke, which I didn't realize they were playing as the
radio promo.
So everyone had already heard it.
I don't know what, dude, I didn't want to do the show at that point.
So really, them booing to the level that they did was my fault.
Like I wasn't I wasn't a professional.
What I should have done was I should have kept my head in the game to survive
it.
So I came out and threw gas on a fire that was already going.
And I pulled up halfway through the second that second bit.
And I said something like, oh, what?
You guys aren't going to laugh at that.
And then it was just this thunderous boo.
And I basically I just snapped because I didn't want to be there.
I just kept thinking the whole time backstage going.
I didn't have to be here.
Yeah, I could have been in a place in front of 150 people that wanted to hear
my jokes.
I would have made 10 percent of what I'm making tonight and I would have been
happy.
Yeah, I don't fucking need.
I've done this.
I've been humiliated.
I've had enough shit thrown at me.
I'm 15 years into my fucking career, whatever.
What was it?
Oh, six, 14 years into my goddamn career.
OK, I'm I don't want to do this anymore.
OK, God.
So I that was the vibe that I came out with, which was a fucking stupid vibe to
come out with.
So whatever.
So I they booed me and I just snapped because I remember the time when I got
booed another time.
I didn't leave the stage.
But afterwards, I just just kept gnawing at me, the faces of people in the
crowd just thinking like I let that guy boo me.
Yeah, I let that fat guy boo me.
And I didn't call him fat.
Yeah, I let that dumb chick.
I didn't call her a dumb chick.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
And I never made a point to say that.
Well, the next time that happens, because who thinks it's going to happen again
or who thinks it's going to be fucking 100 times worse?
In a fucking stadium.
Yeah.
So that's basically what happened.
And I'm a big sports guy.
And that's really what saved me because people go, oh, you turn the crowd
around because they respect it and blah, blah.
No, because what it was, it was in Jersey.
So it was close enough to D.C.
It was close enough to New York.
And it was in Jersey and Philly.
So what you had was fans of the New York Giants, the New York Yankees, the
fucking New Jersey Devils, the Washington Capitals, the Washington Redskins.
And all of them are in the same division.
And they fucking hate the Eagles.
They fucking hate the Flyers.
They fucking hate the Mets fans, hate the Phillies.
Giants, Redskins fans hate the Eagles.
That's so fucking interesting.
So that's what it is.
So I started shitting on their teams.
And I know my stuff when it comes to that stuff.
And it just so happened that I was also in a city where they were having this
championship drought.
So it just became, that's what it became.
I can't remember what I started.
I think I just started just saying mean shit about their moms and wishing AIDS
on them and everything.
But then once I got into the sports thing, that's when it took off.
Like all that fuck the Liberty Bell and shit.
I was just anything I could think of Philly at that point.
But when I was doing the sports thing, and I've never watched it.
I've seen clips, but I never really watched it.
But like it was the sports thing that dragged.
I mean, there might have been.
And if there was people from like fucking, you know, Western Pennsylvania,
Pittsburgh Flyers is one of the biggest rivalries ever.
And when I made fun of their slacks that they wore.
Yeah.
You know.
And called them a bunch of faggots back when you didn't get in trouble for
saying stuff like that.
Yeah.
You know.
And there was nothing homophobic about it.
It was just like – that's why I love that Louis C.K. joke when he talked
about the word faggot.
Like I never associated that with homophobia.
I just – to me, that just meant you were a douchebag and I couldn't count on
you.
Yeah.
So – and it still kills me to this day that I forgot to bring up the 76ers.
Really?
I forgot to bring up the 76ers.
And I instantly knew I was going to say something along the lines that the
Philadelphia 76ers, all you have is Allen Iverson.
And the rest of the team is just like this crowd.
A bunch of nobodies going fucking nowhere.
Just something along those Lameys.
It was all the same thing.
Lameys.
Lameys.