Name: Bill Burr & Nia - Relationships are Overrated
Uploaded: 2023-04-24T19:00:22.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr & Nia - Relationships are Overrated' from Fans of Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-04-24. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr & Nia - Relationships are Overrated' from Fans of Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-04-24. Transcript available.

Overrated. Relationships. Do I really want to read this one with you who's here?
Can you come near the microphone and be a friggin' professional on this unprofessional
show?
Why are you wearing moccasins?
They're my slippers.
They're moccasins.
Yeah, moccasin slippers.
Hi-ya, hi-ya, hi-ya. You got a little Indian blood in you, don't you?
I don't.
Yes, you do.
I have like one 16th.
What do you got, black feet in you? You get it?
Nothing? I get nothing on that?
That was stupid.
You know what?
What?
Ah, go fuck yourself. Here we go.
Relationships.
So, sure, they can be good, but are they ever great?
Every married guy I know reminisces about his days as a single man.
Married guys warn single guys not to get into relationships.
They warn guys with girlfriends to never, under any circumstances, get married.
This is all true.
When you're single, you can do whatever the fuck you want.
Whatever you want without first...
Oh, wait a minute.
Let me get this closer.
Without first filtering your decisions through the desires of a chick
who probably doesn't even know what she wants most of the time
and is motivated by the worldview of sex in the city.
Wow, this person sounds like a real prize.
Yeah, but this is true, though.
This isn't all women.
A lot of women are fucking idiots, just like guys.
Wouldn't you say most guys are fucking idiots?
I would, actually.
And aren't most women...
Aren't most people fucking idiots?
Listen, we're all rapable, but when we're talking...
All I know is that no one is unrapable.
All right, let's continue.
Okay, and I am as exotic as a grilled cheese sandwich.
I think that might be an instant classic.
There wasn't even tomato in that sandwich, was there?
Even when the chicks get what they think they want,
they're usually still miserable.
That's how stupid most of them are.
All right, now you're in.
Now he's in my school.
He's in my quad.
I like this guy.
You're never going to make them happy, so why even try?
Not being constrained by a relationship is one of the greatest things of all
time.
It's a man's world.
Women need more.
Women need men more than men need women.
Most men can thrive alone.
Most women can't.
He's young.
You can tell he's young.
He hasn't...
Women are still looking at him.
He's a fucking idiot, is what he is.
No, he isn't.
He's learning.
I was this guy.
Then you realize at some point you're old, and women don't care anymore,
so you've got to grab one and just hang on to him and drag him down with you.
Most women can't.
Ask any honest bisexual girl, and she'll like you, tell you that she wants to
end up with a man.
Jesus, this guy just keeps...
Every time I think he's gone as far as he's going to go, he keeps going.
I love him.
Enjoy being single.
Unless you're a total fucking failure of a man,
you'll almost always be able to get a girlfriend if you really want one.
Realize...
Yeah, if you're past a certain age, dude,
there's a certain amount of money you have to be making
for that to continue to happen.
And there's a fucking sadness to that life that I can't even begin to describe.
Realize what a blessing your freedom is
and never allow desperation to put you in chains.
He's making some good points there.
He definitely has some issues with women.
Some issues with women?
But there's a lot of truth in that, Nia.
Enjoy dying alone, asshole.
Hey, hey, hey.
Well...
Listen, well, basically what you just said was that you're a dumb girl.
Why?
Because that's what he was attacking.
What do you mean?
So why am I dumb?
Is your world...
Oh, we were almost out without an argument.
But why am I dumb?
Because he's attacking women whose worldview comes from sex in the city.
Okay.
So somehow you got offended by that.
First of all, he's not just attacking women whose worldview is sex in the city.
Oh, I think he is.
He's attacking all women.
Look at...
Read what he said again.
Oh, I know.
He was just being...
He didn't say some women.
He said all of them.
He was just being silly.
He was just being silly.
No.
No.
Ah, you're right.
So, fuck that shit.
Fuck it.
Look, you know...
Fuck you.
No.
His mother never hugged him.
He's got issues.
He's just...
Well, that's not our fault.
What do you mean?
Don't drag me into this.
I relate to this guy.
I'm saying our as women.
I'm speaking as women.
Well, why don't you just speak for yourself, you fucking delusional jackass?
Who elected you?
You did.
I'm sitting here, aren't I?
Well, you know, I didn't say to represent all women's.
I'm not representing all women's.
But I think I can say with clarity that most smart women who see this would be
like,
Oh, fuck yourself, you douche.
All right.
Well, I was...
Also, can I just make a comment about the whole married versus unmarried thing?
The grass is always greener on the other side.
Single people who are alone look at couples, and they get a little twinge of
like, Oh, that's
nice.
I wish I had somebody to come home to at night that has my back no matter what.
That's what you're missing, you short-sighted moron, is that you've got
somebody...
Who's there with you, who's going to take care of you, who's going to love you,
and protect
you, and have your back.
It's not just about like, being with someone just to be with someone.
We got it.
Listen.
Why can't I respond to this person in the way that I want to?
Because you're being mean.
This podcast...
I'm being mean?
This podcast...
This email is ridiculous.
This guy's crying out for help.
Ugh.
Whatever.
Fine.
Go on.
This podcast is not about being mean and taking shots of people.
People who can't defend themselves.
I thought that's exactly what it was.
Took you long enough to figure that out.
All right.
No, but there's a great truth in what he's saying here, is that a lot of people
just jump
in a relationship, jump in a relationship, jump in a relationship, and it's
like, relationships
are fucking difficult.
Yes.
Okay?
So you better pick the right person, or you're going to be fucking miserable.
So you are better off to be single and lonely, rather than just being in some
shit, to just
be in some shit so you got somebody to fucking make brownies with.
That's what he was trying to say.
Yeah, that's true, but he didn't say that.
He ended up saying that most chicks are going to be miserable anyway, and they
all have this
stupid worldview.
That's true.
Most women are going to be miserable, and they're never going to be fucking
happy.
Okay?
And what are you basing this on?
You know something?
You guys always say a good man is hard to find.
That works both fucking ways.
I understand that.
I agree.
Well, this motherfucker hasn't found the one yet.
So he's going, he's dating a bunch of-
So he's lashing out at everybody, because he can't seem to figure out how to
make a relationship
work, and he can't find the value in the relationship, so automatically it's
not valuable.
First of all, the only person lashing out is you right now.
Well, I'm annoyed at this.
You've completely lost your temper.
There's a guy here, he writes in, he's looking for a little bit of goddamn
guidance.
No, he's looking for your approval.
That's what he is.
He got it.
He's fucking hilarious.
All right, underrated.
Yeah, one take.
Underrated, showing off.
What's the-
This guy's the same guy.
Underrated, showing off.
What's the best that can happen?
You blow people's fucking minds.
Look like a god among mortals and an alpha fucking male.
What's the big fear?
Totally fucking up?
Why?
That can still be awesome.
Still be awesome.
Look at Evel Knievel, one of the greatest show-offs of all time.
He fucked up big several times.
If you totally fuck up while trying to show off, at least you give people a
hilarious story of how you failed while trying to be a badass.
The worst thing that you can do is only succeed a little bit.
If you're going to show off, either nail it or fuck it up completely.
There can be no middle ground.
You either need to blow people's fucking minds or you need to give them a
hilarious failure anecdote.
Either way, act like a man.
If you nail it, look smug and cocky as fuck like the superior human that you
are.
If you fail big, laugh your ass off and still act cocky.
At least you tried.
Most of them are too cowardly to even try it.
I agree with that.
Yeah.
See this guy?
I'm telling you right now.
This guy could chat you up in a bar in a fucking second.
Nope.
Same guy.
No, no.
It's because you know all that other stuff.
No, but I have a good bullshit to tell you.
Nah, bullshit.
Nah, I'm saying that you'd want...
I'm not even going to get into it.
All right, overrated.
Andrew Luck.
That's right.
Give up.
No, because I would fucking...
I just...
It's not worth it.
Everyone, you know, it's not worth it.
It's fourth and two.
I know I could get it.
I'm up by 37.
I don't give a fuck.
I don't give a fuck.