Name: Bill Burr & Nia - Nia Made Bill Take an ADHD Test
Uploaded: 2023-04-28T18:00:06.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr & Nia - Nia Made Bill Take an ADHD Test' from Fans of Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-04-28. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr & Nia - Nia Made Bill Take an ADHD Test' from Fans of Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-04-28. Transcript available.

uh i wasn't listening to you i was already looking at the next question
you know what before i came in here i was reading about adult adhd because you
know i like to read
it every couple months and like make you take a quiz just to confirm the facts
bring it in here
that you are in fact i'll take the quiz right now have adult adhd should i go
get it go get it i'll
take it and i'll answer the next one i'm gonna fucking destroy this test you
know she's out of
the room you know i'm gonna destroy it i'm just gonna fucking lie never let the
broad in your life
psycho fucking analyze you all right whether you want it or not there are you
gonna be running
around in your head you don't need to fucking open the door you know what i'm
saying when you get a
relationship with a woman you remember that star trek one where they fucking
tied those guys hands
behind their back and they stuck that worm in their fucking helmets and they
put it on they went in
their ear that's what i'm talking about now let me take this fucking test here
here we go all right
ready this is the whole did i have to study the whole thing is the whole thing
is never rarely sometimes
often okay that's how you answer is that the title of it no that's how you
answer you already failed that
that sounds like a fucking the name of a book how often do you have rarely
sustaining your intention
while doing something for work school hobby or fun activity e.g remaining
focused during lectures
like that's too many fucking things hobby if i'm playing drums i haven't even
finished the questioning
you're already because it's vague are you gonna answer are you gonna do this or
not all right good i'll just
pretend you have like power over me how often do you have difficulty sustaining
your attention while
doing something for work school a hobby or fun activity never if you already
know the answers
never rarely sometimes often often okay how often are you easily distracted by
external stimuli like
something in your environment or unrelated thoughts what is that not stupid say
it again i was already
thinking about the joke in the middle of it i was going can i imitate barberina
what are people gonna
get it oh my god i don't even need to i don't even need to ask you how often
are you easily distracted
you're not a doctor you're not a doctor you're i'm not saying i'm a doctor quiz
by who is psychcentral.com oh
shit fucking forget it then whatever they say i am how often do you avoid disliked
or are reluctant
to engage in i hate people who spell psych s-i-s i'm psyched and they spell it
with an s it's so gay
how often do you avoid dislike or reluctant to engage in how dare you embarrass
me like this on my own
fucking podcast sustained mental effort or thought
you know all these answers are gonna be no i actually didn't hear the first
part of it oh my god
i've heard it like three times you cannot fucking pay attention to save your
fucking everything you read
no because it reminds me of other shit that's exactly what adhd is
adhd is you can't focus it doesn't mean it reminds you of other shit bill the
like the second question
was how often are you easily distracted by external stimuli like something in
your environment or
unrelated thoughts that was question number two bill often oh my god how often
do you have trouble
listening to someone even when they are speaking directly to you like your mind
is somewhere else
often it's not somewhere else they're not interesting and then i just start
going look at their shoes
screw you you're saying i'm not interesting no don't do you can make it all
about you well i got
a fucking disease over here often how often do you have difficulty or in
organizing a task or activity
needed to get done eg poor time management fails to meet deadlines difficulty
managing sequential tasks
not one of those was good what oh i thought those are the i thought those are
what you said in the end
with the options i told you at the beginning that it's never rarely sometimes
or often that's how you
answer somewhere between rarely and sometimes there's i get done i'm a
successful guy that's true
all right why don't we say sometimes okay how's that well you're not supposed
to say it i'm supposed
to say what do you mean we well i apparently need to coach you through this
because you keep getting
distracted oh you are a devil woman how often do you fail to give close
attention to details or make
careless mistakes and things such as school work at work during other
activities rarely take my work
seriously okay sat in that writers room six seven eight hours a day i didn't
have to be there could
i showed up like the douche hey write me something that's i didn't i sat there
how often do you forget
to do something you do all the time such as missing an appointment or paying a
bill not all the time
not paying a bill though i pay bills yes you do yeah but the important in the
important
shit i'm locked and loaded i'll put sometimes all the dumb shit how often do
you lose misplace or
damage something that's necessary in order to get things done your phone eyeglasses
paperwork wallet
keys etc do i lose it or damage it what do you mean damage it throw it how
often do you lose misplace
or damage either one oh all the time yes how often do you have trouble
following through on instructions
or failing to finish school work chores or duties in the workplace eg you start
a task we quickly
lose focus and are easily sidetracked sometimes but not that much i'm really
good with the work thing
there yeah yeah no i i would agree with that obviously you are there's no doubt
that you are
successful so what is what is the end game of this so then you find out i have
adhd
whatever and then what i lose the argument about the closet downstairs how
often are
you unable to play or engage in leisurely activities quietly how often are you
unable to play or engage
in leisurely activities quietly well i mean cigar smoking is pretty quiet i
love doing that sometimes
rarely okay rarely how often do you have difficulty waiting your turn such as
while waiting in line
who the wants to stand in line let's go no if i see a long line i just like i
just think about what
is is it really worth standing in line is this you know imperative to my
survival i don't need it i'm
out often how often do you feel like you're on the go acting as if you're
driven by a motor e.g you're
unable to be or uncomfortable being still for an extended period all right all
right i see where
this is in a restaurant or a meeting i like going to restaurants bill at the
end of a meal right
while people are still finishing dessert you literally have your coat on and
you have your
credit card out you're holding it on the table like looking around i know
because that's because of
the small talk throughout all of it oh here's a story people tell a story you
know this one you know
a story's bombing if in the middle of you have to go so then the fuck isn't
grabbing that coat
sometimes i'll put how often do you leave your seat and how often do you leave
your seat in situations
when remaining seated is expected depends on whether i'm being entertained your
place in
the office or workplace if i'm being entertained sometimes okay yeah i have a
hot fucking you know how
often do you blurt out an answer before a question has been completed eg
completed another person's or
can't wait your turn in conversation to an oh an answer like i know the answer
because that doesn't
happen because i usually don't know the answer how often do you blurt out an
answer never happens
before a question has been completed jeopardy or wheel of fortune it never
happens that's just that's
i'm gonna i'm putting often and you know it's often can i put often you do
whatever you want this
test isn't gonna affect my life in any way i don't know what your point is how
often do you feel
restless like you want to get out and do something yeah like i get up during
the day and i want to do
something yeah i don't want to lay around like a douche so yeah often how often
do you fidget with or
tap your hands or feet or squirm how many more that's the same question over
and over and over
again how often do you fidget or tap or squirm in your seat i don't know
sometimes okay how often do
you find yourself talking excessively can i tap out if i tap how often do you
find yourself talking
often sometimes i'm running my mouth all the times other times i clam up like
when i'm at a party i
don't walk in and take it over i see everybody talking about their i'm just
this is
awful i don't stand in the corner i don't say anything okay sometimes how often
do you interrupt or
intrude on others such as butting into their conversation or taking over what
others are doing
well i was with it until the end taking over it's a little hard butting in or
taking over
yeah these this is all the same question over and over again see a patient non-adhd
person would be
able to take this quiz and like oh you know what this is just i'm gonna put
something right all right
it's almost done uh were several of the symptoms present uh prior to age 12. no
you never felt this
way as a little boy okay no no i didn't all right the was i worried about
do these symptoms appear in at least two or more settings at home and school
or home and work or whatever uh yeah all right your score it's just 20
questions
you scored a total of 42 based upon your responses to this adult add adh
screening quiz you have
replied in a way similar to people who have symptoms of moderate to severe
attention deficit disorder
moderate to severe that's severe that's pretty much the entire gamut oh there
you go psych.com
you might have it a little bit or severe all of that mental torture do you see
why i tap out
half the time symptoms typically worsen in situations that require you just
interrupted attention or mental
effort or that are boring you know that was written by boring people that are
tired of getting interrupted by
exciting people like me creative forces of nature like bill burr everybody ah
go yourself i love you
anyway oh don't see what you just did you dragged me through my own and then
they go but i love you
hey this look at this right here this is this is the guy uh i worked with the
other day brad carter who
right there you remember him right look at this picture right there reggie ladue
oh yeah yeah yeah yeah
reggie dude did that he was awesome yeah i'm gonna post a video he had he had
he's got a video on uh
the internet says man plays guitar while having brain surgery and it's him what
because they were they
were him i'll let him tell the story i already sound dumb enough as it is but
uh
that's cool amazing actor funny as hell and like can be scary if he wants to be
i'm really looking out for this guy to do big man all right that's the monday
morning podcast everybody
good luck with your holiday shopping and good luck if your wife comes in and
goes hey you want to take
a test because i can tell you right now she has a axe to grind and you're gonna
fail it