Name: Bill Burr & Nia - What Will Bill do When He's 70
Uploaded: 2023-05-02T16:00:39.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr & Nia - What Will Bill do When He's 70' from Fans of Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-05-02. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr & Nia - What Will Bill do When He's 70' from Fans of Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-05-02. Transcript available.

the thing that stopped me from being a great drummer Nia was time I didn't have
the time and I didn't have the God-given gift I had to end on the big
one I did not have the gift and I used I thought if I just kept working work
and
working at it I would somehow work my way into having the gift do you see
yourself wait can I ask you do you see yourself in your 70s like doing
comedy in Vegas somewhere and kind of doing like a Don Rickles type of
situation but then maybe you get behind the drums and sort of do like a musical
comedy thing oh god oh god but it's charming because you're old you never
would still be so pathetic no no but it would be all the music I listen to
welcome
to the jungle and you're wearing like a tuxedo no then I'd have all the young
hotties singing going
right Bill's got fun and games and then they come over then they come over and
they'd fucking pat my
bald head oh he's so adorable um Nia I would kill myself I would jump off the
welcome to Vegas sign
I'm saying that now as a 48 year old who knows yeah but don't you see like yeah
moving into your 70s 80s doing like a month or so residency we can move to
Vegas for a couple months
yeah this is like the saddest scenario ever why they would pay you a good
amount of money why is that sad
you think you're going to be going on tour in your 70s you think you're going
to be on the road like
you are now no I think I'm going to save my fucking money so I don't have to
the only reason I'll be on
the fucking road in my 70s is if I still want to be if I still felt like I had
something to say
but I might be my fucking eggs like what's up with I don't know what's up with
these computers I'll
still be bitching about the same shit but you're gonna I know you you're gonna
still want to do
comedy but I love making people laugh and if I do it on a much smaller scale I'm
fine with that but
I'm not gonna make a fucking ass of myself and have some luau themed fucking
comedy show
oh please tell me you'll drag me off stage before I do that the day I show up
and I'm in drag and I
have like the coconuts over my fake titties Caesar's Palace presents Bill Burr
oh god that would be a nightmare no we can live in this we can live in a suite
at Caesar's for like
two months and you do your you know classic comedy
it's all the jokes from 2020
well that's the thing you can't do classic comedy you can't go out like I saw
Don Rickles and Tony
Orlando opened up and he was playing uh you know knock three times on the
ceiling and I remember that
fucking you you're like psyched you're psyched but like no one's psyched to
hear a joke again that they
already hurt they just go away I can't be like all right I don't know if you
remember this but there
was a president a long time ago he stuck a cigar the guy Monica Lewinsky and
then you just start doing all
all that and then um then I do like a medley of styles that all influenced me
I do the Eddie Murphy laugh the Sam's Kinison yell the Seinfeld why you know as
the band plays underneath it
exactly you know comedy and music can have a lot of similarities there's a
rhythm isn't there Johnny
and I'm wearing Hawaiian shirts because I'm crazy what's what's he gonna say
next yeah but you're not gonna want to just rest on your laurels even in your
70s you're gonna still want to go out
so I'm just thinking about I'm gonna rest on my ass that's white like the
mozzarella
um
no I I I don't get the concept of retiring like if you retire you're just then
you're
just I would feel useless and I would just be like I'm gonna die in about 10
days I would be one of those
people if I retired I would be dead in a week because I just be like it's over
I'm useless why
why am I still here and I would go into an unbelievable depression that's what
that means
and I would die and but you have to work in a capacity in which someone wants
to see a 70 year old comedian
and the place where people would want to see and pay to see a 70 year old
comedian
is Las Vegas let's be real or you could have like you know a few nights run at
a a theater in New York
maybe but it's not like you're gonna be going to all the comedy clubs like you're
doing now
which is fine um yeah I I don't know I don't know all of that is really
frightening I can tell you
that I don't mean to frighten you um well the end that's the end of your life
it's just the end
um I'll be there with you don't worry yeah no I picture my 70s and 80s uh
I definitely am wearing slippers and I'm just putzing around the house
yeah yeah god willing you know the house is paid for I still have a nice car
right
the lucky thing that I have being a comedian is people always want to laugh I
think that that's the
reason why not only is it survived all of these new technologies it actually
thrives because
you know what what's the main that you watch on the internet you want to laugh
or jerk
off to something that's the two big things and um comedy just it fits you know
joke can be really
quick guy walks into a bar he says blah blah the guy says blah blah and done
you get the laugh and
these kids with their their squirrel like attention spans it works so um I don't
know how long it'll
or how long it works at this level uh but uh I don't know yeah all that's scary
to me