Name: Bill Burr - Jesus Freak Writes an Angry E-mail to Bill
Uploaded: 2023-05-03T16:00:22.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Jesus Freak Writes an Angry E-mail to Bill' from Fans of Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-05-03. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr - Jesus Freak Writes an Angry E-mail to Bill' from Fans of Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-05-03. Transcript available.

So let's end with this segment, oh Jesus, which is really taking on a life of
its own.
I thought it was going to die, but it has somehow risen.
Okay, here we go.
Get ready for Bill is the dumbest person on the planet.
All right, Bill, for what it's worth, I think you're fucking crazy and
irresponsible, exclamation point.
I can never say that.
Exclaim, exclamation.
There we go, exclamation point.
That's one of those words that you kind of know how to say, but you just sort
of fly through them.
Exclamation point.
What kind of person talks about God like that?
And I love this shit.
This is what they all do.
You should, and I believe deep down inside you are, be ashamed of yourself,
dude.
This is what I love about these fucking maniacs is they're so wrapped up into
what they believe that they...
Listen to how much this person just keeps fucking including other invisible
people and then superimposing what he believes into what, you know, he thinks I
truly believe.
Because he's so wrapped up in his own fucking world that he can't possibly even
fathom that somebody has a difference of opinion on this subject.
So he goes, you should, and I believe deep down inside you are, be ashamed of
yourself, dude.
Are your mom and dad still alive?
What exactly does that have to do with anything?
Your shtick with respect to God is hurtful, offensive, and despicable.
Three things.
It always has to be three things.
It can't be hurtful and despicable or offensive and hurtful.
It has to be hurtful, offensive, and despicable.
Just like comedy.
It has to come in threes.
How difficult it must be to spew hatred and vulgarities for shock value laughs.
No talent in that, my friend.
That's the classic place that people go whenever you...
This is the classic guy where everything is funny until it comes around to the
subject that they take seriously, 100%, and no one can even joke it, joke about
it, or even question it on any level.
And then they always say that you're just doing it for shock, because they find
it shocking.
It's like, really, my views on women, women haven't been, you know, that didn't
offend you.
All the shtick that I've said over the two fucking years, none of that has
offended you, and now all of a sudden this does.
Anyway, so he goes, enjoy your success, air quotes, and all the money you are
making on the backs of hardworking, decent people that understand what it means
to follow the rules and be the best they can be without putting other people
and God down.
The rest of us are watching, and we are not laughing.
Dude, how many people are in your bedroom as you're...
Do you have a group podcast listening party every week?
All right, let's get back to that.
Oh, evidently I am making money on the backs of hardworking, decent people.
So let me get this straight.
Because I'm standing on a stage, evidently what I'm doing is not hard work, and
if people are sitting in the audience, automatically they are all decent, hardworking
people.
And not only that, I'm making money on the backs of them.
Really, do I have some sort of comedy sweatshop, you know, comedy factory with
sweatshop labor?
What I do is actually takes advantage of no one.
I stand on a stage, and I tell jokes, and if you like what I say, you sit and
listen, and if you don't, you walk out.
Right?
Where, you know, and I love how just because you're in the crowd, that means
you're a decent human being.
Do you know the amount of fucking freaks and scumbags that come up to me?
This is what I found in a comedy show, for the most part.
Decent people, they leave after the show.
I don't want to bug them, and then they walk out.
And then maniacs come up to me, you know, let's do some Jaeger, and they're
fucking spitting in your face and shit.
You know, believe me.
All right.
But I know, I made fun of God, so now, you know, now all of a sudden, I'm, now
all of a sudden, you want to talk about people making money off of decent, hardworking
people?
Take a look at fucking organized religion.
All right?
Those guys are living pretty good, scaring the fucking shit out of you every
goddamn week.
All right?
And I'm entitled to an opinion, and I never was cramming my opinion down your
throat.
I wasn't.
Okay?
You believe in what you believe in, and I 100% respect that, but I have the
right to question it.
You know?
And you shouldn't find it shocking that I question it.
You should, shouldn't you just be what Jesus would do?
Wouldn't Jesus just start praying for me?
Anyways, let's, let's continue this.
Just in case you're interested, I was raised Catholic, married and raised my
children Catholic,
and definitely have my doubts about the whole organized religion thing.
Great.
So you agree with me?
Not even sure that I believe in God.
Once again, there's another point that we agree on.
I lost my father three years ago and never would have uttered these words in
his presence.
Neither would I.
Why did my voice go up so high?
Neither would I.
Dude, I did it on a podcast.
All right?
I'm sorry your father passed away, but, you know, that has nothing to do with
me.
Do you understand what you're doing here?
Now, all of a sudden, you're making it seem like I'm walking in with my Mr.
Microphone
into the intensive care, saying there's no God, you know, whispering into
somebody's ear in a coma.
You just go into the ground.
We're all like deer.
I'm not doing that.
I'm doing a podcast, and I'm fucking around.
All right?
If you want to take it seriously, that's your problem.
And if you want to bring up your father passing away as some way to try to
guilt me into feeling like I mean, you know, what I'm saying in a hateful, hurtful
fucking way, dude, those are all your issues.
They have nothing to do with me.
All right?
Then he goes on to say that his dad believed that there is something out there
responsible for all the beauty in the world, in our world, and for our lives as
human beings.
I don't even disagree with that.
I just know human beings have no idea what it is until they fucking die.
So I'm not going to sit there and listen to another human being who tries to
scare the shit out of me and who's living in a fucking palace telling me that
if I become rich, I'm not going to heaven.
I'm not out of my mind to think that that reeks of a fucking scam the same way
late at night when they have those fucking gold coins that evidently are worth
50 bucks and they're selling them for $19.99.
That that doesn't reek of a scam.
Somebody actually sent me an email.
Of course, I didn't save it.
Evidently, it's sprayed with like a dollar something worth of gold.
Okay?
So they're making, what is that, a 2,000% profit?
All right?
Believe it or not, just because you're walking around talking about religion
and the afterlife and doing unto others and you're talking this great game, it
doesn't mean that you can't be full of shit.
All right?
Okay?
And I'm not saying that I'm right about what I feel, but this is just, it reeks
of a scam.
I really believe that there is some sort of thing out there and I wouldn't be
surprised if there is something after this.
I wouldn't be surprised if you just go into the ground and you decay and you
give life to the next fucking thing.
I wouldn't be surprised if earth is punishment for something that I did in a
different solar system.
That's another thing about religion.
Forget about the dinosaurs, it doesn't even bring up space.
Okay?
Let's say there is this all-powerful being, okay?
Okay?
And I'm just trying to question this right now.
So I'm not trying to be shocking or I'm just questioning this.
Let's say there is this all-powerful being that created everything that there
is.
Okay?
The entire solar system, why would you do all of that and just put people on
this one planet?
That's like you created and you built this house that has an infinity,
basically, amount of rooms, bedrooms, and you just put everybody.
You're only using one room in the house.
It doesn't make any fucking sense whatsoever.
And that's one thing about Scientology.
For as much shit as people give Scientology, at least it has the brains to
incorporate outer space.
You know?
I don't know if that's a really good point or if that's really fucking stupid,
but, you know, I don't fucking know.
So anyways, yeah, dude, I wasn't trying to offend you or anything that you
fucking...
I was just trying to be funny and I'm just fucking around.
And if you want to take this shit seriously, that is totally your fucking
choice.
You know?
That's it.
All right?
I'm fucking done with that.
All right.
Let's move on to the next person trashing me.
What the fuck?
What the fuck?