Name: Bill Burr Financial Advice - How to Manage Your Money
Uploaded: 2023-05-28T16:00:01.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr Financial Advice - How to Manage Your Money' from Fans of Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-05-28. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr Financial Advice - How to Manage Your Money' from Fans of Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-05-28. Transcript available.

um money advice bill i'm an otr truck driver what the fuck is that off track
betting what is that ot i don't know what that is all right i'll take your word
for it
i'm an otr truck driver and have a problem with blowing fucking money like a
politician
i have a wonderful fiance with a great head on her shoulders and she is great
with money
uh every time i see the bank statements the balance is more and more so i know
she's doing
a bang up job with our finances well let me tell you something sir you are one
perceptive son of a
bitch um he's seeing a number bigger and i know that that must be a good thing
um so what's the
fucking problem you say well like i said i'm terrible with money so i got one
of them i got
one of them prepaid debit cards he literally wrote one of them i like this guy
he talks like elvis
uh and every tuesday payday my girl puts 50 on there so i can get groceries
that way i don't turn into
one of these fat shits that eats every meal out out of the wendy's out of the wendy's
oh god this guy's great he's pounding down loaded up ant trucking
we gonna do what they say can't be done we're gonna get some hookers at the
next truck stop we
ain't gonna wear condoms and shoot some drugs and we'll all get fucking aids
and pass it all around
um well fifty dollars is good for one week of groceries but it's like pulling
fucking teeth
for extra money like say for drinks or some rubbers no like for drinks or some
extracurriculars
am i an asshole for thinking i deserve a few extra bucks or what the fuck bill
by the way nia has a sexy fucking voice and go fuck yourself
um are you an asshole for thinking you deserve a few extra bucks absolutely the
fact that that poor
woman is legally bound to you and you you have no concept of how to hold on to
money
that would be like i mean you're a guy like you're supposed to fucking earn a
living
to support a family right if you have no concept of that that would be like if
she had no concept of
of like how to have a baby or how to blow somebody you know what i mean because
that's what their job is
sucking dick and making babies such an idiot
oh god imagine if i had the balls to run for president after doing this podcast
for five years
how i how easy would it be to take me down um
dude why don't you learn about money
do you really just want to float around like with your fucking eyes
wide open just not getting it don't you want to understand money
she's giving you 50 bucks a week you know why because you're too fucking stupid
to get 60
and i'm sure you can crawl under a truck and modify it i'm not saying you're
straight across the board
dumb but to not to not to understand money it's i swear to god dude is one of
the dumbest things
that you honestly and this is for everybody it's one of the dumbest things you
could ever do in life
is i understand not understanding money up to about 18 19 but once you're to
the point where you can
go to a library we can go on the internet and you can just just read up on it
okay if you don't
understand money you're gonna be behind the eight ball for your entire fucking
life and you're basically
going to be an indentured servant to credit card companies and banks and your
life is going to suck
way more than it needs to okay i'm not saying that just because you understand
money one of your kidneys
isn't going to the bed bad shits already going to happen you don't need to
compound it with
not understanding money all right this woman is the best thing that ever
fucking happened to you
you don't understand money and you want money for drinks and some extracurriculars
what does that
mean an eight ball if you start with drinks and then you say i like how safe
for drinks
or some extracurriculars like boozing to you isn't even an extracurricular
activity
that's just you know that's like nourishment for you so i'm i'm assuming that
extracurriculars is at
least a bag of weed or maybe some condoms to bang some trucker whore truck stop
whore you know
listen sir you got a great fucking woman but she's only gonna put up with you
not understanding money
for so long because at some point she's gonna want a goddamn man okay
especially once you have a couple
of kids she doesn't need you being some adult kids so i would say read up on
money and you'd understand
what a favor she's doing for you if your bank balance is going up you're doing
better than 90
of the people out there all right so here's a good thing you got a fucking
angel and she's smart
and uh just read up on money all right she's also keeping in shape go buy
groceries don't become a tub
of shit you know she's basically without you even realizing or possibly even
her she's laying down the
gauntlet here she's basically saying in her own cute way i don't want to be
married to some fat broke
trucker all right so read up on money keep eating your fucking pears and fruit
out there and uh and you'll
be fine all righty