Name: Bill Burr Advice - I'm Getting Too Much Attention From Females
Uploaded: 2023-05-29T16:00:27.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr Advice - I'm Getting Too Much Attention From Females' from Fans of Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-05-29. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr Advice - I'm Getting Too Much Attention From Females' from Fans of Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-05-29. Transcript available.

um when it rains it pours hey you redheaded bastard so i know this is going to
be a horrible
email but i listen to your podcast every fucking monday tuesday wednesday or
whenever you get it
up here will you guys stop saying fucking wednesday it's not even tuesday it's
late monday
you fucking whining cunts for the last fucking time i tape it monday morning my
time it's not
about you it's about me so go fuck yourselves fucking bitching about a free
goddamn podcast you
guys the internet is a bunch of whiny cunts whiny unoriginal cunts by the way
all right you people
out there you gotta set up you gotta fucking step up your twitter game stop
using stock fucking lines
i want the last three minutes and 28 seconds of my life back it's just like isn't
that the most
unoriginal fucking thing ever i just threw up in my mouth a little bit like you've
read that a
million fucking times on on fucking twitter and you're gonna write it again
like like you're gonna
get a laugh you know has anybody ever come up to you told you a fucking street
joke and then right
after that told it to you again no because it's only funny once but you fucking
twitter hacks
the same fuck that feeling when wait what that's like the fucking hacky tag
same fucking people will then bitch that there's no fucking original tv shit
out there and then they're
just these unoriginal cunts and you know it's funny they're all they're just
repeating shit that
they've heard and then they're all laughing their fucking asses off at their
own shit it's fucking
annoying uh so anyways bill hey you red-headed bastard so i know but anyways um
i've been riding
on a high point for the first time this month and i wanted to get your opinion
on this matter i was on a low
point when it came to the ladies and i couldn't bag a 300 pound baldy for the
life of me uh baldy you're
talking about a woman here same with a fatty with a shaved pussy what are you
talking about
all of a sudden i've been landing every hot broad i've been interested in for
the last
past six months and i just don't fucking get it well dude don't overthink it
it's like golf don't get in your head just fucking swing away
um how does it work that nothing about me has really changed besides i bought a
new shirt and maybe
did a few more pull-ups than normal but it just seems like when it's raining it's
pouring pussy
do women smell it on you or what i'm not exaggerating this man i've landed two
of the hottest girls i've
ever met in my entire life this past two weeks i just wanted to ask the age-old
question why in the
fuck does this all happen at once why can't life space this out so i can ride
the wave for a year or
two and be happy instead of having it all happen at once and life sucks eight
out of 12 months of the
year um because getting pussies it's like playing golf it's a fucking mental
game all right and if
you have a bad shot you got to block the last one out it's like a relief
pitcher you let up a home run
fuck it give me another ball and you just block you got to block it out but
what happens is
is you know you start to feel like you're in a slump and then you get desperate
and fucking women just
they smell it on you you're coming in there you know you're trying too hard
extra splash of cologne
you're you're fucking you're right in their grill like louisville full court
fucking press you're
right up on that fucking pussy and then that's it it's over they get all
nervous and they pick up
their ball and they go home you know you can't give a fuck the only i've only
golfed a few times but
like i don't keep score i refuse to give a shit about that sport and i have a
great time and
everybody else is fucking throwing their clubs and getting all pissed off i don't
give a fuck i'm
having a great time you know what i'm going for the hole i'm going for the pin
you know i fucking
miss and i suck but i'm having a good time that's all you got to do you got to
go phil mickelson on
these bitches all right don't fucking try and two putt and get par go for the
birdie
you know and if you miss it who gives a fuck you got to stay in that zone and
not giving a shit sir
and even then you're still gonna there's gonna be feet feast of famine that's
it's just how it is
if i knew the answer to that you know i would have done much better
in my uh my pathetic trying to get some career