Name: Bill Burr Advice - Woman Steals Man's Prosthetic Leg
Uploaded: 2023-05-30T20:04:20.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr Advice - Woman Steals Man's Prosthetic Leg' from Fans of Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-05-30. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr Advice - Woman Steals Man's Prosthetic Leg' from Fans of Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-05-30. Transcript available.

all right woman takes man's leg okay hey bill i'm i am 19 years old oh by the
way i'm really happy
that a fucking woman finally wrote in here hey bill i am 19 years old just
graduating high school
and not going and going to enlist in the u.s marine corps uh just a little
about me in
parentheses i've been listening to your podcast for about a year now and i find
you hilarious
anyways i came across this video and apparently this lady steal this steals
this guy's leg when he
goes to sleep and has been holding it for ransom because this guy cheated on
her i just wanted to
get your take on this since you're the best on discussing the ladies thanks for
all the laughs
and go fuck yourself so wait a minute this guy's got a fake leg obviously no
bill he's got a real one
and she sawed it off and fucking i don't know what do they do then they stick
your stump in a fire
that's how they used to do it in the uh the cowboy movies to cauterize or
whatever that fucking word is
clarify your fucking arteries i don't know stop the bleeding does that even
work or is that just some
hollywood shit i have no fucking idea i don't pretend to be a doctor or even
look like one
um what do i think about that well he fucked around hell half no fury well how
long has she had the leg
you know what i would do i just buy another one i'd light up my card i'd buy
another one and i would
fucking you know walk awkwardly over to her house and i would just be like
really
you know what do i think about that i think uh she should give it back
i understand why she fucking did it but um that's that bullshit that women can
get away with where
they can get away with destruction of property and that type of shit like
you know they can throw all your shit out the fucking window light it on fire
and do all this
type of crap and the cops show up just laughing you know i've been there i
fucked around in my girl
i got a dick too buddy this is what happens every once in a while they light
their shit on fire oh
she's like a fucking ala cat and a fucking nigger girl um what do i think about
it i think it's
fucking hilarious he obviously uh you know he fucked around what are you gonna
do i'm getting mad about
that you gotta i would think that if i had a fake leg and i was fucking around
that uh i would be
wearing that thing to bed you know what i mean or at least i'd have a backup
leg i think in general
wouldn't you have a backup leg i mean even people who can't see got a backup
pair of glasses right
should have another leg
you know what you have a fucking you know you know how many cell phone charges
i have i fucking lose
those things all the time and i know what people with no with only one leg are
thinking dude you have
any idea how expensive they are no i got both my legs but i can tell you this i
cut back on the
drinking to have a spare you know what i mean i'd be still watching a square tv
before i would buy a
flat screen okay i wouldn't buy a flat screen tv until i had an extra fucking
leg that that's a that's
a fucking guarantee okay you can take that to the goddamn bank all right but
you know let's get to
the real story here let's talk about this fucking mac daddy he only has one
goddamn leg and he's still
fucking slaying it you know i bet that got her fucking goat the fact that you
know this guy's got
one leg and she's sitting there patting herself on the back of what a good
person she is that she's
you know that she can see i don't care about appendages i care i care about
what's in here
not what's hanging off your pelvis except for that your dick you know
um but who knows maybe bruce jenner doesn't want his and even if you lost your
disc maybe you could buy
his sure it's a little bit older than you are but you know how many decathlons
is your cock one
i'm not trying to belittle you i am not don't put words in my mouth
um yeah i i she's you know that's fucking hilarious i can't come into work
today why
well i fucked around on my girlfriend she took my fake leg
all you're gonna hear is the boss
on the other side fuck you
what are you gonna do buddy hop down here and kick my ass you're gonna fall
down
um anyways all right so i'm sure you're gonna hear from the people with one
fucking leg out there
you know quit your bitching okay can always be worse all right it can always be
fucking worse
you know i mean for every person out there with one leg all right there's
someone else in a
loveless marriage okay and that's even worse every fucking day waking up next
to that person man or a
woman and not feeling a fucking thing as they look into your eyes and they hand
you that card on
valentine's day you might as well be talking to a chest of drawers um all right
god that was dark