Name: Bill Burr Advice - Wife is Hiding Credit Card Debt
Uploaded: 2023-06-12T17:00:22.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr Advice - Wife is Hiding Credit Card Debt' from Fans of Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-06-12. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr Advice - Wife is Hiding Credit Card Debt' from Fans of Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-06-12. Transcript available.

unhappy life hey Billy Birkensocks uh since you're the man of amazing advice
all right since you're
a man of amazing advice sleepers is that what it's called I figure I tell you
my story all right I
was married for a year until I found out that my ex-wife was lying to me about
money oh she didn't
light up the cards did she a bit of a backstory I've known this chick for 15
years I'm 37 and
she was 42 uh we always had a thing for each other but life circumstances
always kept us busy
we both got busy with our careers our other relationships etc it wasn't until
2019 that we
said let's give it another shot we did while together I was on cloud nine I
thought I found
a good woman and with someone I trusted with my life boy was I wrong Jesus
Christ you guys just
start writing for like those murder shows my wife watches it was a quiet town a
little too quiet
uh before we got married I laid out my financial books and told her everything
how much I made bills
debt etc I've always been good with money and never had to rely on credit cards
that I have been known
uh wait I've always been good let me just back up I was just thinking of some
fucking episode I watched
before we got married I laid out my financial books and I told her everything
how much I made bills debt
etc I've always been good with money and never had to rely on credit cards now
did she do the same thing
that and I've been known to live a frugal lifestyle her on the other hand no
she always had to have the
Louis Vuitton nice clothes etc she was making good money when we were together
but she told me after
we were married that even in a dip in income
I won't change my lifestyle
what a fucking thing to say after I figured it's her money let her have
let her have her fun this was pre-pandemic and she was making close to six
figures
how fucking immature is that even in a dip in income I won't change my
lifestyle
at that point you're not living in reality
buddy you married a dope I'm sorry when the pandemic hit we lost both of our
jobs
I picked up a few odd jobs while she found another job she's an accountant but
she took a $30,000 pay cut
and how did she celebrate finding another job buying a Birkin bag
she went from making 120 grand a year as a senior accountant to 90 grand a year
while it's still good I come to find out that's a huge chunk of her income
goes to paying off credit cards that she still and that she still owes student
loans
she's been an accountant for almost 20 years and she only paid off 10% of her $85,000
in student loans
now did you not ask her this shit because you didn't want to cause a fight
or because you assumed
that because she's an accountant
oh my laptop's flickering again
that because she was an accountant she
you know had her books balanced
anyways of course she failed to tell me this before we got married
she went further to lie more about money
it turned out she barely had two nickels to rub together
before we got married and saw me as a way out of her bad choices
now you have that is in quotes
as if she said that
dude this is the shit out here
you know they keep acting like men are always the predators
and women are always the prey
this is not the fucking case
alright there's assholes on both sides of the genitalia there
um and now that so many people are transitioning
you're gonna get more assholes in that fucking pool
alright so everybody
whatever you're into you gotta have your head on a swivel
alright as i'm in the process of finishing nursing school
and i'm getting ready to graduate within the next six months
i have hospitals throwing themselves at me offering great money
once she saw this i saw her eyes widen
and she and i both knew that i'd be making great money
while she got to spend it
no no dude no
this is not happening
you can't let this happen
by the way i put myself through school
she never dropped a dime for me to go
this was all grants and loans
wow
wait a minute
i'm i'm confused
so after you had this conversation
you then went to medical school
no
you're you're finishing nursing school
and i'm getting ready to graduate within the next six months
okay
all of my friends and family have told me to bail
that's what i say
even my own mom paid for the filing fees for my divorce
as i was tapped financially due
to me helping her with her bills and everything
yeah dude she totally took advantage of you
get out now
and there's nothing you can do about it
okay
because she's a woman and you're a man
and that's it
so
they fucking win
always
so just
take
lose by 40 rather than by 100
would be my advice
i didn't make a lot
but i tried to be the good husband
and have her back
did she
help me when my bank account is close to negative
no
a few weeks ago i filed for divorce and moved out
all right
good for you
um
our lease was ending
and i figured fuck it
i moved back in with the family
as she took what little we had
the couch bed
and what little furniture we had in our small apartment
yeah of course she felt entitled to that
fucking twat
um
as i write this
i still don't understand
why she felt the need
to lie to me
about her finding
because she's a piece of shit sir
she's a lying opportunistic piece of shit
uh
maybe i never will
even though i'm rebuilding my life
i thank god
every day we didn't start a family
that's good
that is all good
but i can tell you this
now you have to accept some of the responsibility
if you ever want to grow from this
what the fuck are you going to do the next time
you get ready to marry somebody
okay
you got you got to
you got to vet
the person
you got to find out
what their finances are
where they're at
all right
you got off easy
oh
you know something
you know what's funny
about all the way she's living her life
was she ended up in the same fucking situation she was in
with nothing
and then she put you in the same situation
and all she got out of it was a couch and a bed
in a small apartment
what a fucking piece of shit
i hope she has to scrub the floors with a toothbrush
i used one at that
um
all right
anyway bill i'm sorry for the long ass email
but hopefully my story will help someone
that was in this situation
was in my situation to ask the right questions
and always do your due diligence
there you go
see look he's taking responsibility
thanks
again and go fuck yourself
yeah man i'm sorry that happened to you
um
you know
and there is this big sort of thing out there
that you know
the man's supposed to help
you know
take care of the woman
take your jacket off
put it over the puddle
you know
don't get caught up in that fucking hype
treat them as equals
all right
what are you bringing
to the party
okay
like they
their ability to manipulate the whole game
like the same way
like they look at it
like
sex is they're doing you a favor
like it doesn't feel good for them
like they don't have an orgasm too
you know what i mean
like the whole fucking thing
just the whole way
that that whole thing
is just looked upon
that
they're
they're giving themselves
to you
you know
i guess how we're set up
you know
how you're entering them
i i guess on some level
but i mean
there's also like some mind
there's some tomfoolery
little tomfuckery going on there
with the whole power
structure of that
um
and all they got to do is show up
and look good
and they've done their part
and you got to go pick up a hammer
and go crush all the rocks
i mean
while they say they want equality
i don't know
i'm just saying
there's a lot of great women out there
this one wasn't
uh
but this woman does exist
but you can't really talk about her now
without being called sexist
okay
but the truth is
is this
okay
women like this are not bigfoot
okay
they actually exist
so
like this person says
do your goddamn due diligence
look out for it
and if they start getting their back up
and they start getting angry
that's because they got something to hide
all right
then you go colombo
you act confused
and you keep fucking pressing the questions
and then you
then you know
then maybe you start asking people around you
what they
what their thing is
because sometimes people keep their mouth shut
because they don't get in the middle of it
like well you know
it looks like he's gonna marry you
so i ain't gonna say nothing
because i'm gonna lose my friend
um
all right
that is it
that is the podcast
congratulations
to fabio cuattararo
taking a commanding lead
of the 2021
moto gp
championship
um
another great fucking race
um
i gotta watch the formula one
because i've heard that's unbelievable this year
after all my bitch moaning complaining
i should have hung in there
because i've been missing an incredible season
um
congratulations to the yankees
you motherfuckers
you're playing great baseball
i hope we get a one game playoff
and i hope we bounce your fucking
goddamn
fucking uh
what do they call those things
the pinstripes
you know
you can't
you can't lie man
it's one of the best uniforms in sports
and you just can't
you know
i mean how far are you gonna take
how far are you gonna take the hatred
that you're not gonna give it
it's a fucking great looking uniform
it's a great logo
the whole fucking thing
um
the only thing that ruins it
is those idiots out in right field
we're chanting your name
they got the dumb pinstripes on that
always i would
feel that's a little low rent
i always feel like they could do better than that
you know
and i blame
the new york yankee franchise
for us playing sweet caroline
because you assholes started playing
uh
ymca first
i mean come on
we're two baseball franchises
that have been around
for so goddamn long
there's no reason
for us to be making asses of ourselves
you go to the yankees game
they're spelling it out
ymca
horrific
nightmare
nightmare
who do i blame
espn
for over promoting sports
and getting people who really aren't into sports
to then go to the goddamn ballpark
you know
they don't want to go to the game
they're there to fucking dance
during the seventh inning
all right grandpa
shut the fuck up
okay sorry
i'll talk to you guys
uh
i'll check in on you
on thursday
you
you
you