Name: Bill Burr Advice - My Parents Hate My Stripper Girlfriend
Uploaded: 2023-07-18T15:00:02.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr Advice - My Parents Hate My Stripper Girlfriend' from Fans of Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-07-18. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr Advice - My Parents Hate My Stripper Girlfriend' from Fans of Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-07-18. Transcript available.

anyway my parents hate my stripper girlfriend
well okay here we go it's a bit of a left turn here all right my uh my parents
hate my stripper
girlfriend hey billy the fat kid uh longtime listener first time writer first
off i was at
your show in atlanta it was awesome you killed it so keep doing that all right
thank you
my parents hate my girlfriend i'm a 26 year old chemical engineer
and i accidentally had a baby with my girlfriend who just happens to be a part-time
stripper
part-time stripper part-time stripper what song was that part-time lover
part-time stripper
is that stevie wonder
oh yeah stevie wonder part-time lover um oh boy dude chemical engineer she's a
part-time stripper
we met at the gym comma chill oh telling me to chill well listen buddy i'm not
the one coming
at you your family is so don't fucking tell me to relax i'm happy for you i
mean i don't know if you
had a kid with her but yeah okay um it's been causing a lot of strain on our
relationship as
i'm trying to make everyone happy my parents hate her and she hates them oh boy
i'd love to hear the
advice from an older man who obviously has everything figured out as always
keep up the jokes and go
fuck yourself um
well
if you want to make your relationship work
all right you have to choose your partner and if that means you know putting
your parents in check
that's what you have to do this kind of goes back to the other thing
like that woman inviting this fucking asshole that her husband-to-be doesn't
like
if a relationship is going to work she has to hear him
and has to honor what he's saying that's it so um
wow hates a strong word if they hate her
why do they hate her is it because she's a stripper do they feel she got
knocked up on purpose
um i mean i gotta be honest with you there's not too many i don't know too many
26 year old chemical
engineers that knocked up a stripper you know what i mean i mean that's like uh
that's still just like
your girlfriend i mean dude you got to be the wildest chemical engineer i've
ever heard in my life
and this is like some rock star um
it seems like you're sort of like in this zen place in between the two of them
uh i would just go to your parents and just say listen that woman's in my life
now
we have a kid together she's not going anywhere all right if you hate her and
she hates you guys
this is just gonna like end up affecting our relationship so i need you guys to
be adults
about this all right i mean i don't know how you feel about this woman
you know you're just calling her your girlfriend you didn't say once that you
loved her
you just said you'd love to hear my advice um so i'm assuming that you love
this person
but you said you accidentally had a baby
oh yeah okay you met at the gym but she's only a part-time stripper
well if you stop knocking her up maybe she could be full-time bringing some
money into the house
um yeah i would just sit look at it this woman is in your life at least for the
next 18 to 22 years
is basically it no matter what happens because you guys have a kid together so
you need your parents to
fucking relax and just deal with the fact that she knocked up a part time stripper
i met her at the gym when she was at the squat machine she was spandex and my
dick got hot
we banged outside by the dumpster and the steroid
fucking needles we had a kid now my parents are pissed dude i can't solve this
problem
all right you're a chemical engineer you're smarter than i am
you can't reverse engineer this and get your parents to like her i don't know
what to do with this
who the fuck is a part-time stripper i mean you are you doing it you know what
does she do on the other
see like a geologist just can't commit you know it's like i really like geology
but stripping
pays so much better part time geologist what does a geologist do huh it's not a
paleontologist
you know there's actually a period of time in my life where i wanted to be a
paleontologist
i mean i don't know i mean i took liking dinosaurs to you know every kid boy or
girl
loves dinosaurs i don't know what it is about them they just love them
and i was so into it i actually thought that i wanted to spend my life
digging around egypt or some trying to find these goddamn things thank god
i really feel like the only thing worse than not finding any bones would be
finding the bones
and then you got to be like oh oh oh and start taking out your little brush
gradually excavating it
um
how the fuck do you even know where to i guess nowadays they're probably some
sort of
like a fish finder but like for dinosaurs but how the did they do that back in
the day
i don't think you could do it you just had to wait for a farmer to be planting
turnips or something
and he came across a i don't know a skull or some i don't know
i really don't know a lot of things all i know is the football season is over