Name: Bill Burr Roasts Kevin Hart on His Own Podcast for 11 Minutes Straight
Uploaded: 2023-07-27T19:00:07.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr Roasts Kevin Hart on His Own Podcast for 11 Minutes Straight' from Fans of Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-07-27. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr Roasts Kevin Hart on His Own Podcast for 11 Minutes Straight' from Fans of Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-07-27. Transcript available.

Today's guest is a true friend, a real brother.
You've called me since 2003.
You shut up, Bill. People don't know that.
This is Bill Burr, ladies and gentlemen.
Hey, I'm Bill Burr.
Now, Kevin Hart was somebody that I thought I was friends with,
but I realized quickly that he just needed a spot at Dangerfields.
And then he booked a pilot, and I don't think I'd talk to him again.
I had, like, kids, and I didn't hear from you.
Bill Burr, ladies and gentlemen.
We're getting into the mind of Bill Burr.
We'll play it for his own podcast.
Bill, are you ready for this?
This is the best part that I think.
This is what's mind-blowing that people are going to love.
Bill Burr.
Do you have your own name on your fucking sweatshirt?
Well, outside of that, I mean, I don't know why you don't.
When are you going to stop branding, Kev?
We know who you are.
Just in case you didn't, Bill, I wore a shirt to remind you.
What's the big fucking deal, man?
All right?
It's just a shirt.
Heart of the hoodie with Kevin Hart.
I hand out hoodies to homeless people because I care about downtown L.A.
Go see Jumanji Part 19.
The studio system has ruined you.
Bill is not angry, first of all, to our listeners.
Bill is not an angry person.
Bill is a very happy person.
Bill is a married man.
He's a father now.
Congrats on that, Bill, by the way.
I got two kids.
I had another one.
I was going to call you, but I knew you wouldn't return the call.
I don't think my last movie did well enough to have you send over your little
Heart of the City fruit basket, you piece of shit.
What are you talking about?
I would have sent you a bottle of heart wine from the vineyard.
What are you talking about, man?
I told you.
It would have got there.
Bill, can we tell the people, Bill, that you and I?
Do you want to ask it out there and stomp on the grapes?
Yeah, I do.
So fuck off.
I do.
Bill and I did a pilot, ladies and gentlemen.
We did a pilot for Comedy Central.
It was called Heart of the Shitty, and it wasn't picked up.
Yeah, this is, yes, let me clear this up.
This is before I got big.
This is before I got big.
Bill and I did a show.
It was.
You were like, it was right before.
No, you were already starting to blow up, and I remember there was a moment
where we were actually going to tour together.
We were going to do a black and white tour because I was almost ready to go to
theaters.
You had just started going to theaters, and then a week later, you went to arenas,
and that's when you stopped calling me.
No, no, no.
That's when it was, Kev.
I stopped calling you after the show got, after the show didn't get picked up
because I felt like you fucked me.
I said that, I said, Bill Burr, fuck me.
You weren't going out to the clubs until four in the morning, and then showing
up thinking you were going to Eddie Murphy, your way through it, and start
improvising.
You took that whole thing down with you.
I'm still bitter about it.
Bill, I would love when we could get our hands.
You ruined my opportunity to get screwed over by Viacom.
Do you think, I'm willing to bet you, Bill, I can probably get my hands on that
pilot.
I'm willing to bet you I can, man.
I would love to get my hands on that fucking pilot just for you and I because
we can't show it.
We can't do shit with it.
How much fun was it?
I'm fucking around, but Bruce McCullough, you and me, dude, that was so much
goddamn fun.
I will say this, man.
Bill Burr, for those who do not know it, lately, as of late, I mean, Bill, you're
just, you're popping up all over the place as far as acting.
But the Staten Island movie, what's the name?
Pete Davidson, what's the title of it, Bill?
I don't know.
It was called Jumanji Part.
It wasn't called Jumanji.
That's my movie.
What the fuck was it called, man?
Get Hard.
That's another one of my movies, Bill.
The King of Staten Island?
Soul Plane with white people.
Fuck off.
Those are my movies, Bill.
God damn it.
He said United Airlines.
What was it called, Bill?
It's called The King of Staten Island.
The King of Staten Island.
With Judd Apatow and Pete Davidson.
Judd Apatow, who ruined my friendship with you because you booked his pilot and
I never heard from you again.
You left me, Kev.
Bill, I want to say in this movie, you did what I knew back then when we did
that pilot, man.
Bill has always been a fucking, you've been a phenomenal comedic actor.
And you know, they say that we don't have it.
They say as comedians, comedians can't, we can't make the transition.
A lot of comedians fail in making that transition.
I mean, a lot of people say it.
Who said that specifically?
Who said that?
Don't put Donald Trump on me.
Don't start telling me that people are saying shit.
I want to get back.
Well, they're listening what they're doing and telling you what they're saying.
Everybody knows it.
You know what?
I know it.
Everybody knows.
That's my favorite thing.
I use that now on my wife.
You know it.
I know it.
Everybody knows it.
Everybody knows it.
What are you saying?
People say it.
People fucking say it.
Everybody says it.
Everybody.
I know it.
Everybody says it.
They've said the comedians couldn't act for years.
But Bill Burr, you cracked the code.
You cracked the fucking code, man.
And back then when we did that pilot, the reason why I bought up you during the
King of Staten
Island, because you did a fucking phenomenal job in that movie.
But back when we did that pilot is when I got to see, I was like, yo, Bill can
actually
fucking act.
Bill's good because I was coming in, like you said, with the improv and I'm
coming in with
all this shit and not once were you ever flustered.
You were never bothered by it.
I was annoyed.
And I just used that.
You were like going out.
I don't know where the hell you were going out to Sky Bar every damn night.
You said one of the funniest things ever to me on that pilot is in between
takes, you
know, before I shaved my head, I was losing it back here and they'd come in
doing all this
stuff.
You said, you said, Bill looks like a fighter in between rounds.
When we were in between takes, everybody coming in.
It was a lot of all this shit people ever talked.
I'm not saying it as funny as you said it, but that was one of my favorite
things.
You know, comedians, we love to get trash.
So that was one of my favorite things anybody ever said to me.
I can say during that pilot, you and I, we had a fucking amazing time.
We had a blast and the show actually came out good.
The show was funny.
Of course, things don't work because they just don't work.
But the show was fucking funny, man.
And it's the last thing that people would expect you to see.
Remember what we did, though?
Which part?
Because we niced it up.
Yeah.
What we wanted to do.
What was going to happen?
You were going to have a drinking problem and I was going to have something.
But we weren't going to have it as a pilot.
Yes.
So we did a nicer version of it.
You, me, and Bruce.
And I go, okay, man, once we get the audience, then we'll start getting darker.
Then we'll go dark.
Yeah.
We'll give them exactly what they want.
For now?
Yeah.
Let's give it to them now.
There's no way this isn't getting picked up.
It has to.
What are you talking?
You, me, Burr?
Look at this.
We're right on the cusp.
We're giving them what they want.
And then they told us to go fuck ourselves.
Fuck, it gave us a big boot.
That's what they did.
Big boot.
We got the old industry boot.
Bill Burr from Boston, ladies and gentlemen, if you do not know it.
Suburbs.
Big suburbs of Boston.
Not good for a lot of things.
The suburbs of Boston.
Suburbs.
They don't make movies about where I'm from.
What part is it exactly, Bill?
It's the South Shore, Canton, Massachusetts.
I know South Shore.
I'm very familiar with that.
It's not a music circus?
I mean, I know what the fuck it is.
I've been there.
I've been around that part.
I didn't hear anybody mention you when I was there either.
We'll talk about that offline.
Did you just take some road work?
Were you, like, jogging down the street with your hands wrapped?
Why are you fucking around?
I swear to God, I was.
You know what was funny about you one time?
I remember you trying to show me how fast you were boxing.
And I'm sitting there going, Kev, I'm a 40-year-old white comedian.
Like, this is not impressive.
You should be able to touch me.
This is not going to be fun.
For you listeners, we were in some stupid parking lot.
And he's going, look, I'm fast.
He's doing all this stuff.
I'm just like, all right, Kev, you're fast.
I get it.
You almost seem taller when you're doing that, Kev.
Wow, that's amazing.
Hey, I remember, man.
I don't think there's anybody that I can annoy more than Bill Burr.
I have probably triggered some of Bill Burr's angriest reactions in the New
York City comedy club.
I'm talking about of annoyance.
I remember, Bill, when we were teasing you one day.
More than Patrice?
No.
No, Patrice.
Patrice used to piss you off.
More than Keith?
No.
All right, you're right.
I was probably in fourth or fifth place.
No.
You came in quick.
Patrice definitely, Patrice used to get you.
Patrice used to get you, for sure.
Patrice got you.
I never worried about you.
But Patrice, if I knew he was going to be there, I would have, like, five
things to say about him.
I came in, like, locked and loaded just to try and hit him.
Until this day.
I'd say all five in the first minute, and then I was fucked.
You know what, man, until this day, I still don't understand how a funeral
happened, and they turned it into a comedy club.
Until this day, Patrice O'Neal, how they turned it in.
Well, that funeral was great.
That was one of the best shows I've ever been to.
I've never seen anything like that in my life.
You know, for our listeners, Patrice O'Neal at the funeral.
You bugged me.
I did.
Because she showed up.
You were wearing, like, a pair of Jordan ones.
You look like you're going to do a spot at Caroline's.
I'm like, that's what I said.
I go, Kev, this is a funeral, man.
You're dressed like you're going to go do a spot at State Up New York.
This is what you said.
You go, no, Bill, I'm dressed like the comic who made it.
You said that at a funeral.
I was like, I know this guy's an asshole.
I didn't know he's that much of an asshole.
You almost had me saying, well, I played Carnegie Hall one time.
I almost said that at a funeral for my friend.
That's how much you're an asshole you are.
That's what the fuck.
We went to Patrice O'Neal's funeral.
Ladies and gentlemen, I mean, we had so many comedians.
Perzole, Patrice was one of the most loved guys, I mean, on the scene.
All right, let's not throw too much.
He was also one of the most hated, too.
Yes, but he was a comics comic.
He was a comics comic.
The comics loved him.
If you were funny, you loved him.
Yes, if you weren't funny, you hated him because he let you know that you stood
no chance in this business.
Well, if you weren't funny, you stopped working the village because that's
where he was.
You stayed uptown.
You didn't want any problems with that because he was the guy to go, ugh, this
guy.
Ugh, God, who let?
I remember Eddie If one time said, dude, he goes, some nights I'll walk into
the cellar and he'll yell across the room, hey, Eddie.
And he goes, and I think, ugh, he saw me.
Dude like that used to come into the upstairs of the olive tree and they used
to try to pick the first open seat to just, you know, slick in and stay away
from him.
That's all.
We hope you had a blast witnessing the verbal jousting between comedic heavyweights
Bill Burr and Kevin Hart.
Remember, laughter is the best therapy, so keep seeking those twisted moments
of humor wherever you go.
Stay tuned for more roasting sessions, and until then, embrace your inner deviant
and keep that dark humor alive.
Thanks for joining us, and catch you next time.