Name: Bill Burr Destroys Steve Jobs and His Legacy in 5 Minutes
Uploaded: 2023-08-03T20:03:00.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr Destroys Steve Jobs and His Legacy in 5 Minutes' from Fans of Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-08-03. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr Destroys Steve Jobs and His Legacy in 5 Minutes' from Fans of Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-08-03. Transcript available.

Actually, nerd Jesus died in the last year, right?
Steve Jobs.
Yeah, he died, right?
I know, I know, a lot of nerds here tonight.
I know, you're sad.
I didn't get it.
I didn't get the big deal they made about that guy.
When he died, they were like, "He changed the world."
That was insane.
He changed the world.
The world was one way, and then Steve Jobs came,
and it was another.
What did he do?
Somebody, for the love of God, what the fuck did that guy do?
What did he do?
He told other people what to invent?
I want my entire music collection in that phone.
Get on it!
Right?
And then these poor, nameless, faceless scientists
got to go in a back room and figure it out.
How the fuck are we going to get all of this into this?
I mean, what year does this guy think this is?
This is crazy.
This is like Buck Rogers.
Dude, my kid has a birthday in like 11 months.
Steve Jobs just walking by.
I don't hear any thinking going on in there.
Just strutting around the office,
eating some pretentious fruit like a pear, right?
Just throwing out ideas.
There's another one.
There's another one I just came up with on the way to work.
I was reading a magazine the other day, turning pages, you know?
I like to turn pages on a screen that aren't even there.
Yeah, wrap your fucking heads around that, guys!
See you in eight years!
Where you going, Michael?
Big, little, big, little!
Get on it!
Right?
And all these people slave away to make his vision come true.
And then they have the big nerd fest, right?
Down there, Comic Con and all their nerd mecca.
They're all showing up with their acne and their Hulk shirts, limping into the
arena, right?
Does Steve Jobs go out with the whole chorus line of scientists?
Nah, he goes out there by himself.
Sneakers and no belt like it was no biggie.
Like he's Tesla tapping into the atmosphere.
I know!
This is always uncomfortable.
I know.
You bought into it, right?
That whole advertising, the way they aligned themselves with some of the
greatest people of all time.
Jesus!
Gandhi!
Me!
Remember that?
Muhammad Ali!
John Lennon!
This guy!
How the fuck was that dude like any of them?
Gandhi didn't have a sweatshop?
Nah, he didn't have people leaping to their deaths only to catch a net and get
ricocheted
back through the window to have to put together yet another iPad?
John Lennon didn't have children in his basement pressing those fucking albums?
I know.
I know.
New phone can't fit the old charger.
This is your hero?
This is the guy?
This is what all the silence is about?
New phone can't fit the old charger so then you gotta throw it out.
Ends up in the ocean around some octopus's neck.
Do you realize how much sea life is ecstatic that that man is no longer walking
the earth?
That's where it all ends up, you know.
Doesn't go in a landfill, ends up in the ocean.
You realize that?
I hate people who say I don't pollute.
I don't pollute.
I don't pollute.
Yeah you do.
You use shit and you throw it out.
What do you think?
Because you put it in like a basket and it just poof, disappears?
Everything he ever used is somewhere.
You ever think about that?
Remember that flannel shirt you bought back in the day when you got into Pearl
Jam?
That's out there somewhere.
Probably on some porpoise's face, trying to get it off.
Stupid little flippers.
All the fads.
You remember rollerblading?
Remember that?
Everybody had them.
We set up cones, we did little tricks, right?
One little homophobic joke killed that entire fad.
What's the hardest thing about rollerblading?
They're telling your parents you're gay.
Full grown adults.
Dude, I'm not gay.
I don't have the cooties.
These mean I suck dick.
And they just threw them out.
They end up in the ocean.
They're made out of plastic.
They can't biodegrade.
They just break down into little cubes.
Fish are breathing them in.
Six months later, you're going out, you're getting sushi.
You think you're being healthy.
You're eating your old rollerblades.
All right, I'm out of time.
You guys are great.
Thank you.
Thank you, thank you.