Name: A Young Bill Burr Does Standup At a Playground
Uploaded: 2023-08-08T16:00:31.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'A Young Bill Burr Does Standup At a Playground' from Fans of Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-08-08. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'A Young Bill Burr Does Standup At a Playground' from Fans of Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-08-08. Transcript available.

all right nice to be here at the uh the playground want to thank roger paul for
this gig so what's
up with all these white kids now walking around trying to act like they're like
gangster rappers
it's irritating it's like everywhere i go man i figured just be here in the
city we got a good
mix of people you know i'll be like in the middle of kansas though like the
whitest state ever
there'll be some howdy duty looking white kid like me you know i'm thinking
this is one of my peeps
somebody i can have a conversation with all of a sudden he's just like yo what's
up kid what's up
kid i just want to be like nothing much brad you know you're keeping it real in
wichita how the
fuck are you going to be a gangster in a state say like nebraska you know
wouldn't you be like all
hardcore about your crop just in there yo shit was crazy you know i'm saying my
fucking corn wasn't
going on or fucking scarecrows tipping over and shit you know what i'm saying
son i just want to be like
dude you're white go to the gap give into it buy some dockers and come home i
think i hate like 90
of the movies that are coming out right now your movies really irritate me i
hate the black guy
white guy buddy movies you know i mean because they're always going to make the
white guy out to be
like this complete nerd like oh geez i can't understand the slang slow down
black guy then they
always have the black guy's got to be like this over the top like ridiculous
come on man you got to
loosen up like teaches the white dude how to like party or something that
should never happens in real
life you know like when i hang out with the black guy in real life at no point
does he like try to
like teach me how to dance and i don't go to his neighborhood and like try to
save a school it just
doesn't happen we kind of hang out have a good time whatever and at the end of
the night you know we
get on the subway and i get off at about 15 stops before him i never understood
people who joined the
military that's such a horrible job it's like the second you get there some
dude gets right in your face like
get off that goddamn bus you piece of shit i mean what other job is like that
you don't get a job
at a computer company and the guy's like get in that damn cubicle you fucking
piece of shit turn on
that laptop don't you eyeball me private you're in there doing push-ups they
want to build websites
sir i just think you have to be a complete idiot and a psycho to want to be in
the military i've never
understood the shame of getting a hooker people always flip out like dude you
had to pay for it
just like buddy i paid for this shirt what would you rather pay for a shirt or
a blowjob
you know what i mean it's a no-brainer i'm gonna tell you right now man the
only thing that stops me
is sexually transmitted diseases if it wasn't for like herpes and aids and like
that i'd be ordering
hookers like domino's my girlfriend went to a strip club the other night which
i don't have a problem
with i mean she's dating me i know she's got to look at something to give her
something to think about
right but the only problem i had was she came home she told me she touched one
of the strippers dicks
can you believe that ma'am she said she touched it so i go what do you mean you
touched it what you
you you you went like that ooh what is that she's like no i kind of i kind of
went like that
so i was like well what the fuck you didn't touch it you stroked it
somebody getting this big argument about what a stroke is she goes no a stroke
is down and then back
up again i go yeah but that was a stripper's dick it's twice as big as mine so
once down is equal to
down and then back up again she tried to act like she didn't enjoy it but it
was a great big stripper
cock and i know she loved it she definitely loved it i really don't trust
beautiful women you know
why because they're only around when you have it's like the second you get some
if you don't have
anything going on you're just like hanging out with trolls and you know what i
mean but the second
you get some going on they come out of the woodwork like oh my god you have
some stuff
can you buy me some stuff and then the second you go broke they're like oh my
god i left something
over here and that's just a real fucking turn off ah