Name: Bill Burr Gets Irritated While Answering Fan Questions
Uploaded: 2023-08-12T16:00:41.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr Gets Irritated While Answering Fan Questions' from Fans of Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-08-12. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr Gets Irritated While Answering Fan Questions' from Fans of Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-08-12. Transcript available.

I'm sitting backstage at the Paramount Theatre, and I'm elated to be sitting
here with legendary comedian and actor Bill Burr.
How are you? I thought you were going to forget my name. You were like, wait.
How are you? How's it going? I'm great.
This is the exciting backstage area. Huh? Look at it. So scenic. Huh? Jesus,
they always got to pour out whatever's going on.
Just in case you forget it, Eddie Poe. We're at the Moon Tower Comedy and Oddity
Fest. What is the oddity part? Do they have like contortionists?
I don't know. I've been to a festival where they have like a snake man where he's
just like, he's got tattoos and snake scales and a full ton.
I've seen that guy. Yeah. Yeah. What do you do after you look at him? That's
got to be like a three minute show.
Alright, you did that to yourself. Now watch, you'll fucking bite me on the
neck today. I hope I don't see him.
I got just random questions that we can ask to anybody and I feel like- Did you
make that hat?
No, this is my hat. Everyone hates this hat. It's horrific. It's an awful hat.
You can't even wear it. It's just like-
Yeah, no, that looks like- that looks like the prototype for a hat. Like the
first hat ever made. Look at this shit.
It might be. I saw that on Pawn Stars. Do you want to draw the first question?
Yeah, considering I already touched the hat? Yeah, absolutely.
From flannel_toilet, semi-colon, when is do you think moonshine will make their
big comeback?
Well, moonshoes. I can't read by the way. When is do you think moonshoes will
make their big comeback?
What are moonshoes? It's like trampolines on your feet. You're bouncing around
like you're on the moon.
I didn't know that they ever had them.
Flannel_toilet. I had no idea.
So, but if I had to guess, when did they come up?
I don't know. Yeah. Does anybody fucking know? Jesus Christ.
You know what? Let's do that again.
Can I take a mulligan on that? Yeah.
Lucky swell, semi-colon.
What was your first favorite joke?
I don't remember.
No, I can't think that far back.
Metcalf-Riley. Favorite Wayans brother.
Favorite Wayans brother. I would say Damon.
Damon's a good one.
Homie the Clown was the best.
I loved Homie the Clown.
I loved Homie the Clown.
And I also love him as a comedian, as a human being.
Yeah, I'd say Homie the Clown.
Alright.
Who's the poor bastard who cut these things up?
That was me.
Alright. Remove your pants. Sorry to play your pastor if your mom's watching.
No.
Remove your pants.
Says, "Have you ever accidentally or on purpose stepped in human or animal poop
while barefoot?"
No, but I did accidentally pick up human shit with my hand.
My brother got drunk and took a shit in the tub and I came in the next morning.
Like, I woke up the next morning and I saw it looked like a wet washcloth.
And I went down to pick it up.
And it was one of the worst experiences of my life.
And I woke up all my brothers just calling them out.
Going, "Hey, I didn't fucking wake up.
Did you shit in the shower?"
That's how I woke it up.
And I remember my dad went in and was cleaning it up.
And when I told him I thought it was a washcloth, it was one of the hardest I
ever saw him laugh.
So, yeah.
No, I never stepped in it.
See, that was a good one.
And I'm not trying to be a dick to the other people.
That's my own stupidity.
I don't know how to...
Oh, here we go.
I'll just keep...
These are like junk food.
You just want to keep reaching for it, right?
Diaper Genius says, "If you could answer any hypothetical question, what would
it be?"
"Oh, isn't he clever?"
Are you LMAFO, whatever the fuck it is?
I really wish you got rid of some of these parts that have no words on it.
If you could, I'll be a little more efficient next time.
All new B. McD.
What's your favorite topping to put on a pizza pie?
Oh, Jesus, I love all of them.
But I only like one topping at a time.
I hate those fucking people when they put so much on it, it's like eating a
roof shingle.
You know?
I like...
Pepperoni's only good if it's got something else.
I like pepperoni and mushroom, but then after I eat that at my age, you want to
kill yourself.
You're too young to know that feeling.
No?
No, because your insides are still brand new.
It's like having a new car.
Yeah, you can rent the engine.
Do you like pineapple on pizza?
Took me a while.
The Hawaiian one, I like that.
It's not one that I'll pick, but if somebody orders it, I will eat it.
And I'll be like, "God damn it, that's fucking delicious."
But for some reason, I don't have the courage.
I don't have the courage to order it on my own.
I don't know how to say it.
How would you say that?
O-B-E-A-H.
O-B-E-A-H.
Oh, I see.
O-B-E-A-H.
God, I'm stupid.
What is your favorite Pokemon and Pixar?
I don't know.
I'm too old for that.
I have no idea what that is.
That's that creepy little yellow thing with those eyes.
Last one.
Here you go.
How good are you at Sega?
I suck at it.
I was not allowed to have video games when I was a kid because my parents
thought it would
affect my schoolwork.
They didn't let me play sports either because they also thought that was going
to affect
my schoolwork.
But I showed them and I flunked everything anyways.
That's what I did.
All right.
Well, there you go.
How was that?
Was that all right?
That was great.
That was fantastic.
Thank you so much.
It was enjoyable.
I just want to keep fucking going here.
It's like junk food.
You can keep the hat if you want.
No, dude.
This hat, you can't put this on your head, man.
So, is there anything you're working on that you want to plug or tell us about?
What do I got?
I got small, small, small roles and a couple of acting things.
I got a movie coming up with Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy called The
Heat that comes
out in June.
And then in September, there's a movie starring Elizabeth Banks called Walk of
Shame.
So don't blink or you'll miss me, but I am in those movies, which is fucking
awesome.
So there you go.
As long as I keep telling jokes and I get a couple of those every once in a
while, maybe
it'll shut off the voices in my head.