Name: Bill Burr Advice - Wife Working out With Her Ex
Uploaded: 2023-10-08T16:00:01.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr Advice - Wife Working out With Her Ex' from Fans of Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-10-08. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr Advice - Wife Working out With Her Ex' from Fans of Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-10-08. Transcript available.

Hey there, Billy Redsack. Love your podcast. Love efforts for family. Can't
wait for season
three. I wanted your advice on something. Here's the story. I got married about
a year
ago and me and my lovely wife moved to LA right after the wedding because she
had a
great job opportunity. She had lived in LA a few years ago prior to meeting me
and when
she was living here, she had a fling with some douchey private fitness trainer.
Both
of them viewed marriage as a stupid concept and they made a pact that when they'll
get
married to other people, they'd meet up and fuck. I don't believe a fucking
word
of this. I don't believe a fucking word of this. This is too stupid. They made
a pact
when, when they'll get married to other people, they'd meet up and fuck. I mean,
that
definitely sounds like an LA conversation in a gym. I'll continue reading. So
as soon
as she changed her relationship status status to married on Facebook, that guy
sent her a bunch
of messages, which were sexual and pretty much offend or offered to take her up
on the agreement
and fuck. She didn't respond, but she did tell me about it, but I didn't lose
my shit and
remain calm. In the last few weeks, she told me she's looking for a way to get
in shape.
She said that the douche had offered her private workout sessions in exchange
for her help in his
business. She's an accountant. She said that because private workout sessions
are expensive
and he's very good at what he does, this is a great opportunity that would save
us some money.
She said she made it clear to him that she's happily married and nothing is
going to happen. And he,
he understood completely. She asked me if it bothers me and I not wanting to
look like the insecure,
jealous type. Oh my God, you fucking dude. I'm telling you these fucking women
are in guys' heads.
All of this bullshit that you've seen on fucking TV, all of these fucking women
fucking playing the victim
all the time, all of this fucking coverage of just what guys do to women has
now, every fucking guy
has his balls in his fucking back pocket. And it's just like, well, I don't
want to be the guy that
fucking makes you uncomfortable. Okay. Would she fucking tolerate this from you?
You don't want to look in. That's not being insecure, sir. That's common
fucking sense.
So he said, honestly, honey, I trust you. I want what's best for you. And tried
actually to do that.
My question is, do you think she's trustworthy? Possible, but that guy isn't.
And that guy's just drawn her in because he wants to fuck her.
She does have a history of cheating on her exes.
But so do I. We've both been happily married and our sex life is great,
but still the doubt and insecurity about that issue, this issue exists.
Love to hear your take on this. Can't wait for the new hour special. Thanks and
go fuck yourself.
Buddy, buddy. Yeah. No, no, no fucking way.
No fucking way. Work some extra hours.
You know, I would actually be willing to believe that she's going over there
thinking she's not going to do anything,
but that guy's going to seduce her. That's what's going to happen.
They already banged. They're already, you know, physically like, you know,
you know, the boundaries are not going to be there.
And I'm telling you that that's not a good situation.
And you're not in, you're not insecure at all.
You know, and so what if you are, that's a legitimate, that's a legitimate
feeling.
That whole fucking thing. That's like those stupid fucking t-shirts.
I saw this, some woman was wearing this fucking t-shirt.
I told you about that when I was back in the summertime.
It said something like,
a real man is excited by a strong woman.
A boy is like, whatever, intimidated or something like that.
It's just some, you know, go,
oh, I want to be, I want to be considered a strong man.
I want a cookie.
I was reading that Rolling Stone where they had the, the, the actress that was
playing,
played Wonder Woman.
And I was all excited to read the article.
And the first quote that they had, they said, are you a feminist?
She goes, yes, I'm a feminist.
Everyone should be a feminist because if you're not a feminist, then you're a
sexist, right?
And I like bursted out laughing, thinking like, well,
it all depends on what your definition is.
That's what's funny about these Hollywood people out here.
I swear to God, they sound just like the Fox News, right people.
They're the exact, you know,
there is zero tolerance.
You think the way I do.
If you do not, then you are this.
Like there's no clear cut definition of feminism
any more than there is of like what makes like, you know,
that's real rock music.
And then somebody's always like, that's not rock.
This is rock.
That's bullshit.
It's the same thing with like feminine.
Like if everyone was a feminist, the way my wife is,
which, you know, in all fairness,
this actress that played Wonder Woman could be.
I don't fucking know, but just to say like that,
it's just such a, I mean, granted, it's a fucking interview.
They're trying to get people fucking worked up to read the fucking thing.
Maybe it was taken out of context.
Maybe she said other shit,
but just the way that's presented, you know,
Rolling Stone is just fucking insufferable though.
It's just fucking insufferable.
The way they handled Obama with like kid gloves.
And if you, if you're a fucking Republican,
they stick your head in the fire.
Now I'm not saying they shouldn't stick these Republicans head in the fire.
I mean,
they're the fucking, you know,
they're,
they're bought and paid for at that level.
Right?
Am I nuts?
And I also thought Obama was too,
judging by the $69 million worth of tour dates he has coming up,
giving speeches to all these fucking rich people.
Guy just bought a $10 million fucking house.
It's fucking unreal.
And they don't say shit.
All they do is show him playing highline,
fucking going kayaking and parasailing.
Like,
isn't he cool?
I can't believe how cool he is.
Anyways,
by the way,
Rolling Stone,
is Trump the worst president ever?
I haven't noticed.
It's not like you haven't fucking written it.
It's just like,
I don't even read the fucking article.
It's like,
I understood your point of view.
The first 90 articles.
There's so much other shit you could be writing about.
You know what I mean?
Good fucking Lord.
Like my,
why can't you make fun of like extreme liberals every once in a while?
Throw me a fucking curve ball.
Something.
Ah,
Jesus Christ.
I fucking need to go buy some fucking tampons here.
I'm sorry.
You know what happened?
You know what?
The funny stopped was the fingerprinting of these fucking poor kids.
These poor kids are going to college.
They're getting all in fucking debt.
All right.
And these colleges are acting like they've adapted to how quickly the real
world is changing.
And I don't think they are.
And that's why these kids are coming out.
It's like,
they're coming out with degrees and like fucking,
I don't know what fucking churning butter essentially.
And then they can't find a fucking job.
You know,
I don't know.
I remember like always reading up,
about all these fucking amazing musicians.
They,
they would go to Berkeley
and they would,
they would never come,
like the guys that went out and seem like guys that went out and did shit.
They never finished.
Like they were like this,
this whole being here,
I got what I needed.
Now I got to get the fuck out of here.
And I'm not saying drop out of college,
but I really feel like if that voice is screaming in your head and you fucking
have some good ideas,
why take on the last year of debt?
The last,
you know why?
cause your parents want you to,
cause your parents want you to,
cause your parents want you to,
um,
I don't know what,
because Bill Gates dropped out.
If you drop out,
I'm just saying,
you know,
what the fuck I ended up doing.
I didn't need to go to college.
I had all those fucking,
all that student loan,
all that debt.
And I left and I immediately went down to a comedy club and started doing shit
jokes.
Anyways,
we got to end on something positive here.
Uh,
please go to that Steven Adler,
Ronnie James thing.
Um,
I'm going to post that the bowl for Ronnie,
Ronnie James.
What a fucking voice.
I want a great guy too,
man.
I never met the guy,
but like all his interviews,
he couldn't have been more down to earth.
Um,
once again,
it's going to be at pins P I N Z bowling center.
One,
two,
six,
five,
five Ventura Boulevard.
Uh,
it's gonna be a bunch of rock stars there.
A bunch of comedians,
all bowling,
raising money for,
uh,
I don't even know what the,
what is the cause here?
I know Ronnie died of cancer.
So I imagine it's that,
right?
Oh,
Ronnie,
Ronnie James Dio,
stand up and shout,
uh,
cancer fund.
There you go.
Stand up and shout,
right?
Um,
so there's something positive.
Positive for you.
And I believe it's October 6th.
All right.
I will be tweeting that out and I am trying to get back onto Instagram.
I haven't posted on Instagram in forever.
I think I have to create an entirely new account because I keep saying,
I forgot my password,
please email it to me and they haven't been able,
or I haven't been able,
I can't find the fucking thing.
Um,
so that's it.
That's the podcast for this week.
Congratulations to everybody.
One week,
one congratulations to all football fans.
That is football season.
Um,
my favorite fucking thing happened this weekend,
by the way,
when I was in the Alabama theater,
there was this fucking guy in the front row and he had his middle-aged dude.
He had his cell phone on.
It's a middle-aged guy.
And I'm like,
dude,
are you recording the show?
Are you recording the show?
And he kind of was like,
no,
he goes,
he goes,
I'm looking at the scores.
Cause it was Saturday night.
He wanted to see how the other SEC teams were doing.
And I go,
well,
what's,
what,
what are you watching?
He was watching the Georgia game.
I go,
what you're Alabama.
What the fuck do you give a shit about Georgia for?
He goes,
they're in the SEC.
I go,
and they're not going to catch you.
They got that decent quarterback though.
I don't know.
And the crowd kind of dies down.
And this guy in the back goes,
he says to the guy with the phone,
he just goes,
excuse me,
sir,
sir.
He goes,
what did he say?
Oh fuck.
I'm going to put you the joke.
Auburn Clemson,
whoever the fuck Auburn was playing.
It was like,
I wasn't even there anymore.
He just asked for a score.
Oh God.
What a fucking great setup.
It would have been such a killer story if I could have fucking remembered.