Name: Bill Burr Trashing His OWN Sponsors for 12 Minutes Straight
Uploaded: 2023-12-21T15:32:59.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr Trashing His OWN Sponsors for 12 Minutes Straight' from Fans of Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-12-21. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr Trashing His OWN Sponsors for 12 Minutes Straight' from Fans of Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-12-21. Transcript available.

um all right let's uh let's read a little advertising here for this uh for this
thursday
afternoon um headspace man all right let's be honest most of your problems
start with your mind
fear anger stress oh jesus was i was i not telling the perfect story fear anger
stress
anxiety depression sleeplessness they begin in your head but they can wreck
your life
um please include all of the following points during your read why do they
write that
i'm gonna read everything that you wrote all right i've said this on numerous
episodes okay but it
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and we're going to take that tradition and throw it out the fucking window and
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as you drive down the highway um you know recently i saw a yoga instructor
saying he was quitting it
because like all of the it's been distilled down to just getting the fucking
killer body you know
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the road and i'm in the quiet of my hotel room you know as i listen to the
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and quieting my mind
and becoming one with the universe hey they're fucking maybe i'm fucking too it's
a threesome now
download the free headspace man app and begin their take 10 program for 10 days
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at headspace.com slash burr that's headspace.com slash burr i'm smiling now
drunk club everybody
buddy everybody trunk club trunk club don't waste the second of the new year in
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with trunk club you can make 2016 your most stylish year yet and the best part
is you won't have to do
any of the work yourself you know what i just realized the most arrogant thing
you could ever do
you know as a rich person is you join trunk club and that person has to go down
the mall and some
psycho goes down there pulls out a gun and does one of those mass shootings and
you still that it
took too long for the trunk to get there even though that person went down
there which should have been
you and they had to go down there and dodge the bullets well i don't give a
what happened okay i
have an event tonight and i need my tuxedo 2016 is going to be a game changer
your fresh start start
the year off on the right foot in the right pants with the right jacket over
the right shirt
fuck working on yourself as a person you got to get the outfit man trunk club
is here to handle your
wardrobe so you can focus on what matters the most please include all of the
following points during
how many times do i have to say it trunk club takes the hassle man out of
shopping by finding the best
clothes for you for you and your style you'll look like a million bucks or at
least a couple hundred
and will always have the perfect clothes for this season at trunk club dot com
slash burr you answer
simple questions about your style your preferences and sizes and you're excited
you're assigned an
expert stylist um who isn't working in new york city or paris they're working
for trunk club your
stylist will hand pick clothes from the best premium brands just approve of
what you like and send back
what you don't just like that a trunk arrives on your doorstep and they went
down there and they risked
they risked their lives they risked you know all kinds i don't know they had to
find a parking spot
you don't have to deal with filled with hand-picked clothes that are perfect
just for you try them on
keep what you like and easily return what you don't in the prepaid trunk trunk
club is not a subscription
service you only pay for the clothes you keep from your trunk no hidden charges
just get just great
clothes that's it it's great you never have to go to the mall again
you know all right oh i thought it was over call to action slash offer it's a
brand new year full
of possibilities and with trunk club you'll start the year off looking great
and close picks just for
you uh get started today trunk club trunk club that's trunk club.com slash burr
that's trunk club.com
slash burr for trunk filled with clothes you'll love wearing additional points
to mention these
aren't required well then i'm not going to do it all right nature's box oh jesus
christ nature's
box i swear to god this is what it's called we're talking about our twat over
there um nature nature's
box gonna be a professional nature's box everyone curbing your appetite doesn't
get any easier just
because you went on a diet when 3 p.m hunger pangs hit you can you can tough it
out and get cranky
and lightheaded or you can hit the vending machine and pack on the pounds but
now there's a third option
snack smarter in 2014 with nature's box go down on this box of goodies is this
is a joke this can't be
true sign up to nature's box for great tasting healthy snacks sent right to
your door oh nature
box it's not nature's box okay now i get it sign up to nature box excuse me for
great tasting healthy
snacks sent right to your door well why don't you leave it at the end of the
driveway so we burn a few
more calories and i'm not talking about rabbit food think french toast granola
salted caramel pretzel
pops and dark cocoa almonds and more designed to leave you full and healthy
check it out now at
naturebox.com you'll find zero trans fats zero high fructose corn syrup and
nothing artificial
and nature's box ships for free just like nature does right now try your first
order of nature box at
fifty percent off by going to naturebox.com slash burr that's naturebox.com
slash burr stop the vending
machine madness snack smarter in 2014 get a handle on your health and your
hunger go to naturebox.com
slash burr now what do they have there salted caramel pretzel pops i'm going to
lose weight dark cocoa
almonds french toast granola so let's see the scam here there's no trans fats
there's no high fructose
corn syrup how about nutrition is there any nutrition in that shit oh jesus
yeah why wouldn't i get full
eating caramel pretzel pops you yeah whatever oh i know what i forgot to
mention this week pro flowers
valentine's day is coming up everybody why don't you go to proflowers.com um
for some reason they took
their banner off my my website they told me they go we want to have banner on
your website that we have
the ability to change and they uh they just completely took the thing down so i
don't know what that means
you know i probably should have called them you know but they took it down you
want you wanted all that
control pro flowers i don't know what i'm supposed to be talking about this
week all i know is valentine's
day is coming up and i advocate you know i advocate going out on the 15th when
you can get a goddamn
reservation it doesn't cost 90 grand all right who's kidding who all right i
didn't get any goddamn
copy this week fuck it i'm just gonna wing this one all right it's valentine's
day everybody you got
to celebrate her and her fucking twat that's what's going down you don't want
to shop so why don't you go
to flowers.com and go get a bouquet of flowers and slap her right in the
fucking cunt with it why don't you do that
just go on there flowers.com and click on the twat and enter bu fucking rr and
get yourself a bouquet
of flowers shove the vase in her ass and you have yourself a lovely day save
the chocolates for yourself
because that's what it's about um oh jesus you didn't give me any copy what do
you want from me
i have copy for next week they have their desperate copy for next week hey
fellas valentine's day tomorrow
you gotta federal express some roses why did i just do that that was total self-sabotage
i was
finally making some money on the fucking podcast why would i do something like
that because my team just
lost the super bowl and i'm really not feeling it i read enough ads to cover my
new pair of tube
socks i need to buy this week all right here they are draft kings the always
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