Name: Bill Burr Trashing Vegans for 10 Minutes Straight
Uploaded: 2024-01-09T16:00:25.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr Trashing Vegans for 10 Minutes Straight' from Fans of Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-01-09. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr Trashing Vegans for 10 Minutes Straight' from Fans of Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-01-09. Transcript available.

when you look at vegetarians and you look at vegan people uh you know there's
an astounding
level of fleshy fat people that don't eat meat you know what i mean and they'll
eat french fries
because it's made from potatoes and they're a vegetarian but it's fried and
they'll say you
know potatoes aren't good for you anyways as far as i know i shouldn't even say
that now i don't
want to be all oprah here and get people to stop eating potatoes and then the
whole potato farm
farming industry sues me here at the monday morning podcast um but there's just
a lot you know they eat
like fucking just all carbohydrates and shit and they just stay away from meat
i think a lot of people
love animals but they hate reading is what i've sort of learned from looking at
vegetarians and vegan
people you know so they don't eat meat but then they don't really know what the
it is they're doing
but the people that do take the time to do it right like nobody who lived in
this house for a hundred
fucking years evidently
took the time to do something right oh they didn't do that they just called
their friend to fix it didn't
fuck getting a permit fuck it and somebody licensed fuck all of that what did
they do
they just fucking lived here they had a problem they asked a friend and i think
a lot of vegans and
vegetarians do that they talk to people rather than reading and that's what i
do because it's easier
it's easier than sitting down and actually doing the fucking work so you know i
see that you know
like can anybody if gun to your head can anybody tell you whether having an egg
is good for you or
bad at this point eggs have been good bad good and now they're starting to be
bad again while people
who are saying they're good are fucking you know they're duking this is like
the rubber match the
rubber game whatever the fuck it's called right um so i'm gonna i'm gonna talk
to a nutritionist and
i'm gonna i'm gonna you know try to read up on it but it's it's really dry and
if you actually look up
shit on becoming a vegetarian or or eating a little like that like a vegan or
something i mean it's just
hatfields and mccoy and mccoy's between the fucking meat eaters the carnivores
and the vegetarian
people and there's a lot of money at stake no pun intended sorry about that um
so i i think like the big farming cattle fucking people you know they're trying
to have all this
shit come up first and then all the the tree hugging like hey man like you know
trees are alive man
those fucking people are trying to say that you know eating meat is is like
like i saw this thing
right well they were saying that this guy was trying to say that like
animals get protein from eating plants and when you eat an animal it's an
indirect protein
because she should just gone directly to the plant and it's like well then
explain tigers
and they're you know mr universe physiques as far as i know which is i don't
know
shit so i should shut up right now and google what what do tigers eat
what do tigers eat meat only oh they're always in a bad mood can't even take a
siberian the species diet ordinary consists about 50 percent wild boar meat
doesn't that sound delicious
if they cannot get their paws on some wild boar they've been known to eat elk
deer and lakes
they're like what are you with me for man i didn't do nothing and sometimes
even bears
oh my god what size jesus christ
that's a big thing in asia huh putting like a bear and a tiger in a cage and
just filming it
if large sources of meat are not readily available siberian tigers will eat
rabbits fish
and any rodents they can get to
let's see okay well there's no meat in that
do and that's the first thing i saw do tigers eat plants
what the tigers eat siberian the species diet consists that's still this
uh tigers diet eating tigers eat a variety of prey ranging in size from termites
to elephant calves all
that would break by heart to see a baby elephant get killed however an integral
component of the diet
our large body prey weighing 45 pounds or larger such as moose d what do you
mean
moose and bear where the fuck are those things i thought they were the moose
were only over here
deer species pigs cows horses buffaloes and goats
yeah well they have a different digestive system evidently because if you just
ate that that's
they're basically on the atkins diet right you can eat as much bacon as you
want
tigers looking at you like yeah i i realize that i realize that um so anyways i'm
going to try to
uh i don't know i'm going to talk to a nutritionist somebody who read all this
that i'm supposed to read
and maybe try to get them to tell me some oh bill are you really going to buy
books of nutrition like
you're going to read them do they have a lot of pictures um
anyways i should probably read some advertising i don't feel like doing that
so anyways um a friend of mine got me in touch with a nutritionist this is not
code named for a drug
dealer did somebody just knock on my door oh jesus hang on a second anyways so
uh
i got this fucking nutritionist because i want to learn i want to learn how to
eat well um
you know what i mean i don't want to just be this guy like hey man i'm gonna
fucking cut this out and
i'm gonna start fucking doing that you know like i i mentioned before like how
many like the amount of
fat fucking vegans i'm talking like back fat i'm not just saying they got a
little pooch or something like
that i'm just talking about like you know just looking at people like you just
look at them like
you look like you're not healthy and they'll be like oh i'm a vegetarian or i'm
vegan and all of that
so anyways like i mentioned as i bring the fucking food tray over here there's
like there's so much
fucking like misinformation i don't know how to i don't know how to sift
through it and i don't want
to become a vegetarian you know what i mean but i also fucking hate working out
you know what i mean
so i would like to to fucking just eat smarter is what i'm trying to do
you know now that i'm on the fucking road this is what always gets me you know
i come in i'm grumpy
from a flight you know and you look at the salads and when you're in a fucking
bad mood and you're
hungry a salad never looks like the right option does it it never does what do
you do yeah i'm gonna
eat a fucking burger and you're trying to say i want a side salad and then the
lady's like do you
want fries with that and then your head going no bill don't do it and then yeah
yeah fuck it
give me some goddamn fries sir you can order your food without using that
language i'd like to remind
you all you are in the bible bail so so anyways i'm on the road i just ordered
a salad and i got the beef
you know probably should get the chicken i just got fish but i ate fish
yesterday and you know what i
always forget to tell him don't send me the fucking dinner rolls now they got
them all warm underneath
the napkin with some butter and my mother taught me not to waste so what am i
supposed to do here
huh i don't know anyways but i'm i'm uh i'm liking the way i look right now i
guarantee it
so i would like to continue uh with the not boozing for a while i'm now going
to do it like the way i
smoke cigars like a chimney now i'm going to drink the way i smoke cigars which
is you know once
every 10 minutes no once every 10 to 14 days i have a cigar so i would like to
get hammered
or have a couple of cocktails twice a month that's not bad 24 times a year
24 times a year i just want to remind my liver that this is not a game okay
the pre-season is over all right so keep your head on a swivel stay on your
goddamn toes um
no i got a night coming up i'm gonna come off the wagon for one day like what i
would like to do
come off the wagon for one day in august and then i am not gonna drink again
until i'm going to a
a michigan wolverine game this year at the big house oh jesus