Name: Bill Burr & Craig Ferguson Roast Each Other For 7 Minutes Straight
Uploaded: 2024-01-20T16:00:22.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr & Craig Ferguson Roast Each Other For 7 Minutes Straight' from Fans of Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-01-20. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr & Craig Ferguson Roast Each Other For 7 Minutes Straight' from Fans of Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-01-20. Transcript available.

That's why I only had roommates for a short period of time.
That whole thing of guys living like animals.
No, no, I didn't live like an animal.
Oh, yeah, you did.
Why are you doing this to me, Bill?
Why?
If I want to make a nice meal, I would like to every once in a while be able to
do that.
Do you do that still?
Yeah.
You actually cook?
Yeah.
That's great.
Yeah.
I got a good butcher.
You chop up the vegetables.
You get a nice bit of meat there.
Oh, yeah.
That's right.
I'm a big...
Pussy.
Meat and potatoes.
Yeah, pussy.
That's what I meant.
No, no, no, pussy.
All right.
That might be the funniest thing that's going to be said on this.
So you might want to wrap that up.
That's fucking hilarious.
All right.
I'm a big...
And I paused perfectly.
Lobbed it over.
Pussy.
All right.
We got to take a break.
We'll be right back in the film.
That's going to be the favorite part of this podcast for my wife to listen to.
Scotland.
You ever played there?
Sure.
Have you really?
Yeah.
I've been there a number of times.
Where did you play in Glasgow?
The King's Theater?
Yeah.
I've done that theater.
I've been there like twice.
And then one time I went to Edinburgh for the festival.
But I was only there for two, three days.
I didn't have to do the marathon, walk in the street with the sandwich board,
the slave labor.
Yeah.
I don't know what goes on over there.
That's for the kids.
The kids do that.
Oh, the kids do.
I didn't see a lot of happy faces.
Everybody didn't have their red noses on.
That's a different thing.
Making people walk in the streets like that.
Well, people do walk in the streets.
They're comedians.
They're supposed to have the day off.
You know, that's why comedians become comedians.
When they're out there leafletting, catfishing.
They're sitting there.
What are they supposed to do?
They've got to be a comedian and the promoter?
Yeah.
What kind of operation are we running over there, huh?
I blame you.
I think you set up the whole festival.
Why are you starting us again, Bill, without you?
See, you Hollywood elite.
You know what it is?
You became the number two radio station, radio program on Sirius, and it went
to your fucking head.
It did.
That's what happened.
It did.
And you know what?
That's just, I've become one of those guys.
I don't do my own leafletting.
In fact, I don't even leaflet anymore.
I never met you before, and I don't even know who you are anymore.
It's one that I love the best.
What?
That recently closed was the Punchline in Atlanta.
It's now reopened, but they lost the least to their first place.
I don't know that one.
I never played that one.
It's because you're an elitist.
Oh, fuck you.
Come on.
I mean, comedy works is beautiful.
All the green room, you know?
You got the place where you can soak your feet.
You weren't going to the Punchline in Atlanta.
Wait, wait, the Soak Your Feet bar?
I don't remember.
No, they don't like me to do that.
You're still an immigrant.
We don't like you.
No, the Punchline, it was just one of those places that I just, I went on stage,
and it
just, I don't know, it just felt right.
Like, I love this.
I love the vibe of that.
So I haven't been to the new one, but I love the owners.
So I'm going to try to get back to there at some point.
But I was definitely really sad when that thing closed down.
I mean, I was one of the ones that went all the way back to, like, even Eddie
Murphy, I
guess, had did a, I guess he was already shooting movies at that time.
Early in his career came in and did a spot there.
They had a picture of him on stage.
And then they had all of these head shots from back in the day.
I love all that stuff.
Yeah, yeah.
The chicken fingers coming out towards the end of your, or the bill comes out
at the end
of your set.
Chicken fingers at the beginning of your set.
That smell of fried food and hatred in the air.
Plus, the best thing ever is my favorite comedy clubs are the ones, like the
Comedy Works,
where you can get to the green room and they give you the option of whether you
want to deal
with the crowd or not.
That's the greatest thing ever, to be able to walk off.
You're right in the green room.
You know, if no one wants to kill you, you can go out there and say hello to
them.
Yeah, that's right.
If you feel like you might get your teeth smashed in, you can hide in the green
room.
You can hide in the green room.
Yeah, I love that.
In Comedy Works, everybody that goes to that club knows exactly where the green
room is.
They're walking out by it as they go out.
So get people back in the going, what's the matter?
Not coming out?
Oh, that's right.
You think you're better than us?
That's the Hollywood.
We know you're in there, Hollywood.
Fuck you!
Yeah, that's right.
I forgot.
Yeah, Hollywood elitist.
Like, wait, if I'm a Hollywood elitist, what am I doing?
Playing, you know, the works in Denver.
It's the best one.
Yeah.
There was a short-lived comedy club in New York City called Comics.
A lot of people went on to do a lot of great things.
Were these comedy competitions?
I have always kind of been slightly dubious of a comedy competition.
You don't have any confidence.
You can't get up there and just do your dick jokes better than other people.
No, no.
I feel like it's not the right way to go about it.
All you have to do is be louder than someone else.
Oh, I can do that.
And flap your hands around.
You're guaranteed to make the finals.
I've built a whole career on that.
That was ten years of late night for me.
Aye, aye, cheeky monkeys.
Flap the hands.
Off you go.
That's it.
There you go.
I wouldn't do it anymore.
I like how Bill's big concern about the comedy club, though, is a place where
you won't
get beat up after most shows.
Do you ever have a hard time with a crowd, Bill?
Sure.
Has that ever happened to you?
Yes.
Is there any record of that?
Yeah.
And you know when the microphone's in your hand, you forget you don't know how
to fight
that well.
Forget about taking on four people at the same time.
And then the second you put it in the stand, you become mortal again.
Like, oh, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
I haven't had a fight since junior high.
You know, yeah.
Dom Herrera was here last week and he was talking about you and he said an
interesting thing.
What did he say?
No, it was good.
It was like, you'll like this.
You'll like this.
Actually, you won't like it because it's complimentary and it'll make you
uncomfortable.
Stay eating so and so.
But he said, he said, you were always, he said he was always good.
He said, Bill was always good.
He's always a good comic.
He said, but something's happened.
And remember he said this?
Yeah, dude.
He said, the past couple of years, he's fucking great.
It's like something magical.
I remember he used this phrase.
He started talking about my dick.
He said something magical.
That was the breakthrough.
No, it's the magical.
You've always talked about your dick.
No, but this is more the thinking man's dick jokes.
That's what I'm doing to set myself apart from the pack.
No, but it's an interesting thing because something has happened to you in the
past couple of years.
You're better than you've ever been.
Have those different skill sets.
When you go to take on a subject, you then have different tools that you can
sort of mix and match.
It's like when you're in the kitchen like a pussy.
Yeah.
And you start getting different ingredients.
You'll never let that go, man.
Let it go, man.
I loved it, though.
It was endearing to me.
I'm from the East Coast.
That meant you liked me.
It's such an old-fashioned thing.
I know it's such a weird thing.
I remember I've had a couple of those, and they're usually a little – even
the good ones are a little snippy.
You know what I'm saying?
No, I have never – that's why I don't read them ever.
Yeah.
They have an inability to go wire to wire.
They just can't say, you know what?
I enjoyed the show.
He's worth the money.
Yeah.
Go down there.
But I still wish he had touched more on this, or they always make fun of how I
look.
Like, you know, when the pasty, bald, you know, freckled cunt took the stage,
it was a masterful performance.
Like, even if they said masterful performance, they would still have to trash
the way you look.
Yeah, no, I get it, too.
It's like, oh, yeah, you know, using the Scottish brogue.
I'm like, I'm not using the fucking Scottish brogue.
I'm from there.
This is where I'm from.
I didn't put this on.
This isn't an act.
You know, the material's the material.
I'm not doing a character.
I'm doing me.
Oh, you've become a parody of yourself.
Oh, fuck you, Bill.
I mean, really.
And with that, I am so glad you came in.
Bill, it's lovely to finally meet you.
You're a giant among men.