Name: Bill Burr ROASTING Hosts on THEIR OWN SHOWS For 8 Minutes Straight
Uploaded: 2024-03-07T16:00:09.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr ROASTING Hosts on THEIR OWN SHOWS For 8 Minutes Straight' from Fans of Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-03-07. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bill Burr ROASTING Hosts on THEIR OWN SHOWS For 8 Minutes Straight' from Fans of Bill Burr on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-03-07. Transcript available.

do you remember when they lit up the puck for a few years on tv yeah that was
you guys do you
know no but the end but the nhl no no wait a minute wait a minute time out time
out time out
the nhl is you guys too so all the owners had to agree with that and you all
had to be like we gotta
we gotta like expand this thing we thought we'd funnel money into canada and
keep it here but you
guys took it over like you tend to do but well i'm not gonna apologize no no no
you're big on
the yeah i mean that's just business dude you're acting like we came and
knocked you on the head
you know what we're about i don't yeah we wait a minute oh yeah wait a second
fellow white person
not native to this country how did you guys get this up here do the native americans
go oh well
we like these white guys you can have all that land jesus christ no i get it
your shit smells like maple
syrup up here you know what you're telling me all right yeah so your christian
background is is part
of the the show yes and i wanted to talk to you about jesus after well the only
reason why i bring
it up some people thought maybe you went a little too far you know as far as
what well they thought
that maybe you were being disrespectful to the christian religion i'm telling
you you need to google
oh good lord so did you feel you were being disrespectful or just you you were
just having
fun with some of the crucifixes and stuff like that i don't even know what i
mean we did maybe
two jokes about that yeah exactly don't you think the catholic church went a
little too far
more so than my cartoon all right listen a couple of jokes i know this is a
morning show you can't
bring up all those crimes you know what technically they just sort of kept
moving them around you know
like those killer whales at sea world after it kills a trainer they'll then
move it up to seattle
they don't give them their background all right i'm not totally following but i
don't think you know
what i'm talking about it's a morning show i understand anytime i came on that
kid was missed
the graduation and then then it was a feel-good story it was a feel-good and we
want to leave
if you want to feel good about america you watch the morning shows you don't
watch this you know
and we were joking earlier if that kid's story about the graduation was late
night that would have been
a whole different story what do you think he's still missing we can't find him
all we found was
his hat but you watch in the morning it's great it all worked out he got his
own personal graduation
like i was in such a great mood look how yellow this couch is it's like this
because you vlog yourself
for for being vulnerable would you stop it like you have some sort of
psychology degree 10 years in
therapy it's so much i've watched football for 40 years i shouldn't be somebody's
coach
i love how you came at me aggressive and now you're going you got your little
panda hands
i love how you attack my little panda hands that's what you look like you look
like a little panda
i know i was just because when you took your shirt a little adolescent bear
are you in the process i cannot get comfortable in this fucking chair this is
just like one of the
worst things it should be like hitting museum is like the prototype this is
what this was the awful
level of comfort we went from a log to this and then eventually they got cushions
it's another guy
looking at his phone i swear to god through the day jesus comes back if he ever
does if he's even a
real person like 90 of people are gonna miss it they're gonna walk right he's
gonna be walking on
water and immediately walking by him and not i thought you were laughing you
were fucking yawning over here
no the mushrooms are killing me man i knew it wasn't just weed i was just like
there's no way i'm taking a hit off of that
there's something going on here he's shrooming and he's wearing pants like he
went riding a horse today
like side saddle or some shit
man don't be like my wife my wife is like dick patrol man don't be like
checking out my fucking tight pants and shit
really is that is that you in action or is this another photo shoot
yeah it's a photo shoot people do photo shoots yeah i know have you ever seen
like a movie poster and
you'll see a movie star who's clearly five foot two yet somehow he's as tall as
the super i have
i have yeah that's that's a photo shoot no thick stuff
look i'm sorry you're just on the web man
you you took it he took it to this place i'm not trying to shit on his website
what is it called again
huh zippity doodah duck can women be funny
yeah of course
some people have a hard time saying yes though there are a lot of angry young
men on the internet
they're like women can't can't be funny
well you guys just fucking grow up and just sit down and write your own horse
shit and come up with it
start your own fucking show have your own award show
quit waiting around for other people to do shit for you
that's the fucking problem
if you guys had your own big club and i was standing outside of it you'd never
fucking let me in
i'd start my own shit you guys got to start your own shit you got brains in
there right
yes absolutely
so write your own shit and quit your fucking whining we're all eating a giant
shit sandwich out here
nobody cares i don't care
absolutely i'm an entrepreneur i'm a white person
the fuck up it has no makes no difference whether you got a dick or a twat
all right just do what the fuck you want to do and hopefully people respond to
it
but this fucking horse shit of quotas and all of this crap become undeniable
when was the last time you went on stage and you killed so hard the person
after you bombed
if you're fucking doing that on a regular basis people are going to notice
regardless of what you have between your legs
all right thank you and god bless the united states of canada
you just had you have nine different positions since you've started this
sentence
yeah because i've been training training with trevor whitman
oh yeah with my footwork oh trevor whitman oh my god
do you know who i am no
the deepest couch in sports entertainment a lot of people think that uh they're
uncomfortable with my uh
uh my um elevation are you uncomfortable with it no i just see all of your
insecurity
you know giant desk because the older guys robert kelly's and all they all call
you billy colin calls you billy but i fucking bill i'm just immediately
noticing that i don't know about the chain if it's if it's thick enough to be
that one that level of confidence yeah it's more of a necklace
when the chains out yeah yeah he has on a fat chick ankle bracelet around his
fucking neck
at some point i was gonna make a point here that's why i keep looking at here
and i just realize i'm blocking myself out of the camera i love that you have
the jib camera for this like it's an action movie
let's let's let's swoop in at these two guys sitting in these unbelievably
small chairs
i literally feel like i'm gonna fall onto the floor this is insane
you really went all out with the audience though they got full-size adult
chairs
are these like from the 20s before they had like horse tranquilizers in our
food
when everybody was like five foot one yeah that that that that that that that
that bill burr comedian baby
made headlines in october 2000 and 2000 after controversial monologue you know
mom
2000 and 2000 mike that's 2020. those brownsville schools man tell me man but
listen right
colorado he trains rose namayunas kamaru kamaru oh rose namayunas do you love
her i love her i love her too
i love all the usc female fighters that's why i want my daughter to know how to
know all of that
that's that'd be cool huh when she meets a creep like you she could choke you
out
bro i'm gonna say something right you walked up this driving pointing at me
i came over here during rush hour and i'm grateful that you're here nothing but
a red line the whole
way over here