Name: Ken Marino, Andy Shauf (Ep 241)
Uploaded: 2023-03-03T07:02:43.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ken Marino, Andy Shauf (Ep 241)' from Office Hours Live with Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-03-03. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ken Marino, Andy Shauf (Ep 241)' from Office Hours Live with Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-03-03. Transcript available.

Ken Marino, Andy Shauf (Ep 241)

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It's all relative. There's people out there in colder parts of the world. I can
assure you this.
But it has been a wild weather week here in California. Lots of rain, lots of
cold, even a little hail and even a little snow.
It's the end times!
Maybe not.
Maybe not.
I'm joined to my shoulder right, camera left, DJ Duck Poe!
Good hornings!
Oh yeah, baby.
And on my left camera right, we got Victor Berger, the fourth.
Let's get cracking.
Nah. Producer Matt, we got Wes, we got Luke in the control room, we got Sam out
there, the intern.
Sam, keep an eye on that breaking news. You know I love to know what's going on
out there in the great big wild world.
And on the show today, we've got Ken Marino. You know Ken Marino, he's a legend.
He's currently en route. Had to stop to get a little Joe-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!
Joe!
And then later in the broadcast, we have music from local, not local, uh, how
should we say this?
International.
International.
International recording artist, uh, star of his own music.
Andy Schauf.
Yeah!
He's gonna be doing a, kind of a sad, quiet, uh, contemplative, meditative
version of Band of the Bone by George Thurgood and the Delaware Destroyers.
How would that go?
It would go like this.
Ever since I was born, I've been bad to the bone.
I've been bad to the bone.
Join us at patreon.com/officehourslive to catch the whole show.
If you're watching live, join us for the whole show.
And Patreon is a tremendous, uh, place for all kinds of goodies.
If you've got a little, uh, free week, join now.
Oh, free week, yeah.
Join now, get a free week.
And I'll be sending out, for limited time only, 50 packs of plain Lay's potato
chips.
The little guys.
Little snack packs.
50 packs of Lay's plain, you know, the yellow bag.
The yellow bag of Lay's.
50 per person or 50 in total?
No, no.
50 while, while supplies last.
How are your flakes?
I'll just be...
You sign up now, and I get that bag of Lay's out to you.
You're gonna get laid!
Fairly average porn movie.
Oh, shit!
I just got laid!
Uh, two weeks from tonight.
I'm, like, getting the feeling of coming in the gym.
Two weeks from tonight.
I'm getting the feeling of coming at home.
I'm not masturbating!
Two weeks from...
Two weeks from tonight, I'll be in the city of Leeds.
The city of Leeds.
No!
No!
The city of Leeds.
No fucking way!
No fucking way!
No fucking way!
Grondel Social Club with my big two Tim's tour.
Kicking off up there with a very packed house.
That show's almost sold out.
Huawei.
Then we go on down to Sheffield, and Nottingham, and Manchester,
and all over the place, hitting London, Dublin, fucking Oslo.
How are you?
Mother fucking Copenhagen.
Mother fucking Denmark.
Fucking Amsterdam.
Absolute shit.
Fucking Amsterdam.
Fuck it!
You fucking cunt!
We're getting packed!
Not getting packed yet.
You getting packed?
I'm thinking about getting packed.
So we're going for about...
It turns out it's like a month.
It's longer than I was thinking.
Yeah, yeah.
So are you going to pack enough?
I can't...
I'm not going to pack without doing laundry.
Where are you from?
You know what I mean?
I'll have to do laundry.
Yeah, I'm putting that out there.
Who wants to do my laundry in, let's say Dublin?
Because that's about halfway through.
Who wants to come down, fold, do a fluff and fold for me?
That will get you a bag of Lay's potato chips.
So contact me.
Why don't you just discard your clothes and get new ones when you're out there.
I was going to say, do you guys put socks and underwear on your rider?
That's a move.
I've been thinking about that, but I'm very specific about my socks and
underwear and I don't want to put anybody out. All right. Let's bring in a Zoomer
here. Let's pick it off today with our old friend Skinner. Skinner! Hello,
friend of the show, Skinner.
clothes and get new ones. I was going to say, do you guys put socks and
underwear on your rider?
That's a move. I've been thinking about that, but I'm very specific about my
socks and underwear,
and I don't want to put anybody out. All right, let's bring in a Zoomer here.
Let's pick it off
today with our old friend Skinner. Skinner! Hello, friend of the show Skinner
here. I forgot one thing,
Skinner. I do want to make an announcement that there will be a big
announcement later in the
show. Okay. All right. Big surprise announcement coming from me. You're going
to have to stick
around to find out. Fuck around and find out as the kids say. Skinner, what's
on your mind? What
do you have for us today? Hi, I actually have been working on a stop motion
horror fantasy movie that
is being funded right now. It's going great. It's on Kickstarter. It must be
going great if you're
coming on here to promote it. Yeah. Yeah. It's going great though, but I think
that everybody would
really love it. You should go to Kickstarter and check out Shrine of Abominations.
That's a lot
of words. Shrine of Abomination. Vic, spell it. Uh, S-H-R-E-I-N. Going the
German route.
Shrine. I'll put the link in the, um, it was somewhere on your, guys. Yes. We
will promote
this because we love Skinner. We love your design. We love your brain. We love
your energy.
Thank you. I love it very much. Thank you for your benevolently, uh, allowing
me to come on this
show and talk about my demon art. Of course. People love you.
So where are we at on this? Where are we at in the process of this project here?
Okay. Well, um, we are, uh, uh, actually it will, we have. Calm down. I just
like, I got him. I
started with a gotcha question, apparently. Oh, yeah. About that. Uh, let me
just, brrr.
No, actually we have filmed, um, 90% of the 30 to 40 minutes of the film that
we have that we're
working on. And it is being edited with VFX and sound design right now by an
amazing guy named Kevin
Fermini. And, uh, something that just actually happened was the streaming
service scream box
contacted me to ask me if I could put together a budget to send to them to see
if they'll extend
it into an 80 minute long. Whoa. So, um, yeah. So thing where they not, they
not the meat.
Now you're the one. All right. All right. Listen, we got a lot to get through
today. Uh, the link
is in the chat. Let's have the office hours family come together. Come together.
Oh, what's your role in this Skinner? What are you doing? I just want to know
what he's
doing. What, what, what do you, I wrote it. I wrote it. I got his trailer. I've
been working.
Yeah. The trailer is crazy. Right. I wrote that song by the way, and recorded
that, but, uh,
I, uh, wrote it, designed it, worked with my friend Ross. He did most of the
stop motion,
but I like hand painted all the backgrounds and all the assets to it and stuff.
And so
it's a very passion project. Yeah. Okay. You doing play? It's like 30 seconds.
Check it out. Thank you
very much. All right, Skinner. I've got big news here. I got big news. We'll
show it during the break.
I got big Hollywood royalty out there. Hold on. Hold the door. Hold the door.
Hold the door.
We're going to do something never been done before. You guys, you're going to
have to go with me on this.
We are going to turn Rosie the dog into a man. We are going to turn Rosie into
a man. Can we get a
shot of Rosie on the chair? Vic, can you help out here? Yeah. Now, now Wes, be
smart here. Be quick
about this. I want everyone on their, their highest level of instinct right now
for, for cinema's sake.
Okay. This is, we're going to do this with my magic. I'm going to turn Rosie
into a man. Ready?
Oh my God. The dog is a man. The dog is a man. The dog is a man. The dog is a
man.
The dog is a man. The dog is a man. The dog is a man. Relax. Relax. You are now
in, you're safe. Okay. You are.
No, no, no, no, no, no. I must turn him into a, he's only half man. Hold on.
Hey, there he is. Unbelievable. Look at you. First of all, let me come and give
you a hug.
Oh, all right. I mean, I don't think I've, I can't really get to you.
Oh my God. Look at this. I will not be muzzled.
Ken Marino. Hi guys. What an energy. Wow. Where's my coffee? Right here. Okay.
How are you? Are you okay? I'm okay. Let's talk about what happened. Let's just
get that over with.
Oh, do you stand the whole time? I do. Yeah. And do you stand like that the
whole time?
Like this. Okay. Like a little lady. All right. So, and can I sit? I sit the
whole time. You can sit.
And he lords over us. Yeah. It's a little intimidating. This is Doug. Do you
know Doug?
Hi, Doug. How are you? And this is Vic. I know a Doug, but not that.
So, you're going to be quick to this morning, I feel. You're all right.
I mean, I've been driving very fast to get here. So, what happened?
All right. Wait, finish the introductions. Vic. Vic Berger. Hi, Vic.
And this is Matt. Hi, Matt. You've been emailing with Matt.
Matt, Vic, and Doug. There you go. And Tim. And Tim. And Tim.
I, here's what I did. So, I like to get up early. If I have something to do.
Yeah. You don't be rushing. I like to get there. I like to take a little extra
time, a little buffer, I like to call it.
And I like to drive. I'm not rushing. I go get a coffee. I go find a local
coffee place around the address that I was given.
This is good.
Or that I thought I was supposed to go to.
And basically, what happened is my manager's assistant was like, here are the
things you have to do today.
Well, we all have managers. I know, I know, I know. Come on. I'm sorry.
And he said, you have Tim today at 945. Nice.
And then you have ADR at 1 at this address.
Okay.
And when I looked at the text, I saw you have Tim. And then I went right to the
bottom. Here's the address.
So, I put the address in. So, then. So, here I go. I'm early.
Where are we talking? North Hollywood or?
Right by Danny Trejo's Donuts.
Oh, in Hollywood proper.
Yes.
Like in Hollywood.
That's where I was.
Oh, that sucks.
And I, and I, and it was great. Danny was there.
No, he was not.
He was always there handing out donuts, slinging donuts to everybody.
And so, I go get a coffee.
Yeah.
I'm early.
Yeah.
I'm early.
You have nothing to worry about.
I had a whole bit that I was going to do about, I always like to be early.
Sort of, it's going to be this bit.
Yeah, yeah.
Some variation of it.
And I get to the studio and I walk in and it's 9.36.
And I texted you.
You think you're at my studio.
Yes.
And I think, and I texted you.
Would you like some coffee?
Yeah, you did.
I said to the guys.
This was about a half hour ago or so.
I said, listen, this is nice, guys.
This has almost never happened before.
Do you guys want any coffee or anything?
I'm stopping to grab a coffee.
Yeah.
I said, can you believe this mensch?
He's a real mensch.
Yeah.
So, I, so I'm, I'm walking in.
Ding, ding, ding.
Ready to have a great, I'm early.
I might even go to the bathroom, wash my face.
Because I get a very shiny T-zone.
Yeah.
See if my hair's okay.
You don't bring a stylist with you or anything.
I don't, not, not every day.
Yeah, yeah.
And so, I walk in and this, and this pleasant lady at the desk goes, oh, Ken,
you're early.
Oh.
And I go, I am.
Yeah, yeah.
She goes, you're very early.
Oh, no.
And I go, what do you mean?
She goes, you're supposed to be here at one.
Ding, ding.
And then the heart, then the blood goes, like, crazy.
Yes.
And, and so I was like, oh, shit.
And then I pulled out my phone, looked, and.
Panic.
Panic.
You could have get, you could have easily, let me just say, you could have
easily said, Tim,
I'm so sorry.
I had an incident, and I can't make it.
Would that, that would have been terrible.
It would have been, it would have been.
I would have felt awful.
I always expect the worst.
You okay?
It's a little weird, right?
This is like.
Luke, can we do something?
No, we're good, we're good.
He's not happy.
I'm okay.
Please don't come in here.
And so, so then I texted you.
I m