Name: Bobcat Goldthwait, Black Belt Eagle Scout (Ep 248)
Uploaded: 2023-05-05T06:18:03.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobcat Goldthwait, Black Belt Eagle Scout (Ep 248)' from Office Hours Live with Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-05-05. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bobcat Goldthwait, Black Belt Eagle Scout (Ep 248)' from Office Hours Live with Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-05-05. Transcript available.

Bobcat Goldthwait, Black Belt Eagle Scout (Ep 248)

7, and then we go to 8. Next up we have 9, 9, 9, 9, 10, 11, 21, 23.
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I like having fun
I like to laugh
I like to meet people
Who can make me laugh
I like having fun
Yes, I like to laugh
Good morning, everybody!
It's Tim Heidecker live from Newark
Not Newark, where am I?
Hoboken, New Jersey, New York
Right across the river, looking over here
Beautiful New York
Looking over at the West Village
Over here, the Hudson River
What a beautiful city this is
I can't wait to say good morning
To my friends back in California
And I'll tell you what
These guys are some of the great guys
Doing radio, doing sound effects
Doing all kinds of work
Comedy
Music
I'm talking about Vic and Doug
I'm just going to start with Doug
Yeah
Doug Lusenhop
Back there behind me
Good morning!
Doug Lusenhop
Good morning to you
Nice
And I'll tell you what
The pounding
I'll tell you what
Nobody does it better than Doug
There I fucking said it
Thank you
Nobody does it better
Except maybe
Some days
I'm not talking every day
I'm saying maybe every once in a while
At least gets as good as
If not better
Every once in a while
I'm talking about Vic Burr
Vic Burr
From Philly area
Not really
Let's give it a sip
What's up everybody
And that's the two guys
That you gotta know
In this town
You know
And they do good work
They do good work
Doing sounds
Whatever
So
I don't know
You know
I don't know what they do
But they do a good job
So we're going to have fun
We're going to talk about
The Mets
And the Rangers
A little bit later
They're playing hockey
And this and that
So we're going to have a good time
Matt
Producer Matt
There's over there
He's from Long Island
Whatever
How about it
He's doing it
Pretty good
So we're all
We're all doing pretty good
Right
I mean
Who fucking knows
Producer Matt
Now we're going to have a good time
We're talking about New York
Talking about
Hudson River
Whatever
Matt is
What do you have a nice breakfast this morning
Good New Jersey breakfast
The pork roll
Yeah I'm at the hotel
You know
So they got hotel food
Pretty good
Bagels and what not
Did you get that little ketchup
A little single serving
Glass bottle of ketchup
Oh I love that
Yeah a little ramekin
Whatever
This and that
They fucking put ketchup in that
Little thing of butter
Little
Fucking butter in there
And eggs
You know
The whole fucking thing
Coffee
Fucking
Don't play that guy
Hot fudge sauce
Oh yeah
Hello food fan
What's the deal
With that guy Matt
What's going on
He's cancelled
He's a bad boy
Feature man
Feature man
He's no good man
You
Sent this video
Or he had to come out
And address
His arrest
In the 1970s
We're talking about
Feature man
Guy who makes
Hungry man dinners
He was evasive
He was evasive
He said it was
For sodomy
And he left out
The underage part
He never addressed
The core issue
He never addressed
What he was arrested for
Ugly stuff
Yeah
If you don't want to
So what else do we know
I believe
I don't know
I believe some random YouTuber
I guess
I don't know
Who posted about it
We've been trying to see
A toastito
But he went on this
I mean it was almost like
He was just kind of
Running the clock out
Well when they
Brought me
To
Into
The holding cell
There was a writ
A prosecutor
Mentioned
That they wouldn't
Be trying me
For the crime
It was just like
You know
Just trying to like
Wait it out
Wait the whole video out
But it's not
But he made it sound like
They threw out the
They threw it out
They threw out the charges
But we don't know
It was a technicality
So this is
It seems like
That's where he learned
To cook
Like he would get
Saltines
Or you know
Mill away for
In prison
No he went to jail
I was
Charged for
Offense to
Mankind
Or to
Public decency
But
There
Was no evidence
So
I don't know
It was very weird
Still love the guy
Yeah I mean
Come on
And this was a long time ago
Yeah
Come on
It was the 70s
People change
Things are different
It's not
Well anyway
It's a cloaked cigarette
That's just
I had some
Nudie magazines
And I was showing them
To an 8th grader
Oh god
But anyway
Name a pet meds
The best meds
Your pet can get
Skip them
God I fell asleep
To YouTube last night
My normal interrogations
And I woke up
You fall asleep
I fall asleep to interrogations
Yeah I do
What are those nightmares like
No they're fine
But this
I had a bad dream
Because I woke up
And I was listening
It just autoplayed
To Chris Hansen
Like his new show
Like interviewing
Like you know
Breaking up
Predators and stuff
So just like
That's in my head
Right now
Pretty cool
Well I've had
Two terrible nights of sleep
I haven't told you guys
Two terrible nights
What how can you
How
You're in a nice hotel
I don't know what happened
I mean I'm usually not
Like a jet lag
Time change guy
Who has to
You know
Complains about
That kind of stuff
I usually roll with it
I get in
I go out
I go out
Have dinner
I go back
Go to sleep
Whatever
But I get in Sunday
I have
No I get in Monday
And settle into this nice hotel
I meet some
Some friends for dinner
Have dinner
Go up
To go to bed
I get into bed
Around 10 o'clock
11 o'clock
Now you know
I'm on west coast time
So sure
I was kind of
Lying around all day
On the plane
And everything
I'm not
My body isn't ready
For sleep I guess
I'm up
Vic
Doug
Matt
Wes
Luke
Sam
Audience
I'm up till
3 fucking a.m.
Oh my god
3
Just lying
Lying in bed
Cursing my life
And then
I sleep until like
9.30 a.m.
Get up
I've got to go do some stuff
For this movie I'm doing
This and that
Why is this and that
My new catchphrase
This and that
What not
I go
Alright
Tonight's the night
I'm going to
Conk out
God forbid
Right
Give me
Give me some rest
I'm up till 3 a.m.
4 a.m.
The next night
But then your time
And I've got to shoot today
But your time
That's only midnight
Basically
Doesn't matter
Vic
Doesn't matter
Supposed to
I know
Well then
I want to go to bed
And get my eight
It's something you're doing
Something you're putting
In your body
It is
Coffee
What are you doing
It is
Coffee
I'm not comfortable
In this hotel
I need to be home
Next to my wife
Knowing my children
Are next door
You see
My children moved out
They moved out?
Yeah
They live in the house
Next door to us now
Who lives there
With them
Are they by themselves?
Just them
Yeah
Just them
Did you
Alright let's take a call
Let's see how that works
You know who we haven't
Talked to in years
Matt Van Dam
Remember Matt Van Dam
Doesn't ring a bell
Tim I've heard about
Hey guys
Can you hear me?
I'll tell you later
Loud and clear
Hold that thought
Doug
No worries
Oh hi Matt
How are you?
Oh hey
I'm doing well
How's it going Tim?
Pretty good
Where are you calling from?
I'm calling from Atlanta
I'm at the stages right now
So I don't want to be too loud
Just hoping that you were going to be
Joining us down here
You're at the what?
At the
I'm at
I'm in Atlanta
Yes
At the stages
What's the stages?
What are the stages?
One of the many
Many many stages
We have more than
LA now apparently
Is it a retirement center?
What is this?
Can I just pause?
Guys
Let me get
When you
You keep on saying
The stages
Yeah
Like we know
What you're talking about
But we don't
Well
These are
I think
What's this
What are they called now?
I can't remember
Studios
You know
Oh sound stages
I can't remember
Yeah sound stages
I can't remember the name of this one now
They have so many
And they
They changed the name recently too
So
Oh okay
So you're on set
Oh it's a set
Not set
No
Preparing
Prep
Okay
Are you making a Nike commercial?
No no
Making these
New shoes look old
No
And so
What project
Are you working on?
Oh
I can't really say
But I was hoping
That you would
End up on it
Because it's
There's a lot of your friends
Involved with it
So I was thinking
Maybe you were going
To end up down here
But you're in New York
So I guess not
Damn Apple
Hmm
But
What opportunity
Am I missing out on?
It should be
Pretty funny stuff
Some funny
Funny people
I love Batman
That's not all I can say
Give me one name
I'm like
No
No
No
One name will give me
A lot of trouble
But
Oh my goodness
Anyways
Why is this guy crossing
The picket line?
What's going on with that?
Oh let's hear about that
That's what I want to talk about
So that's what I was going to talk about
So first off
The last strike
Right
What do we get?
Reality television
And what did that bring us?
Donald Trump
And now
What's the big thing?
AI
So will this strike
Bring us our new AI overlords?
That's my big question
Oh AI president
President
Yeah
I like that
President AI
I remember how
Go ahead
I don't know
I have thoughts
I have thoughts
On the strike
And
And we're going to get into that
Later in the show
That's all I can say right now
Just like you
I'm going to
I'm going to
I'm going to have
I'm going to be confused
And I'm going to make
Make
I'm going to
Allude to things
And then really not follow through
With any actual information
Hey I shouldn't do this though
I'm like
I actually shouldn't really say
It would be good for the show
But I shouldn't say
Well I'm glad to see
That you're still going
And
That you guys are still up and running
I was worried
Don't know how everything's going to
You know
It's a
It's a
New territory I guess
No we've
Doug and I have tried to start
A
You know
A little
Thing going here
But Tim does not let us do it
Trying to
Trying to get a union
What little thing
Just a union that we've been talking about
A union
It drops unions
Yeah so
Hey I like your Maya Darin
Let's do this
I like your Maya Darin shirt
By the way
Did you get it at one of our concerts
Oh yeah
Thank you
Yeah I did
A huge fan of her
She rocks
Really loud
But great stuff
Sorry
Let's do this
Thank you Matt
Thank you guys
Love you
Let's do the city of the day
Ain't much more to say
Alright city of the day
I'm getting excited
The city of the day
Is brought to you by
Hang on
Working out the tech here folks
I'm not
Alright Matt
I just opened the fake ads
I'm not seeing anything here
Fake ads
Sorry to give it away
But
Doug usually does that
Well yeah
I didn't write one
We're on strike
What's that?
I'm on strike
So there's no
I didn't write a fake ad
How are you on strike?
We're not
This
Are you in WGA?
I stand in solidarity
Alright well
This isn't a WGA
Signatory show
Not yet
You're actually
Can I
Can I just point out
That Doug and Vic
And Matt and me
We're owners
We're producers of this show
We own
We own this show
It's our show
So we're not
When you talk about
Like
Forming a union
I gotta go on strike
You're talking about
Union within a union
Yeah
You're talking about
Forming a union
Against your own interests
It's not fair
Because you guys
Own the show
Like we're for
We're for the people
Just so people understand
I don't know if this is
Not clear to people
But yes
This is Office Hours
Live
I don't even think
It has with Tim Heidecker
In it anymore
Is it?
What's the official name
Of this show
Technically it does
But
Okay
Well let's even
When I tell people
The name of the show
I tend to leave that out
Well that's the top
Of our demands
But we'll get to that
During negotiations
You're gonna be negotiating
Just so you know
The legal ownership
Of this show
As far as I know
As far as I understand
Matt correct me
If I'm wrong
Is this a four
Four
A four person partnership
It's an equal
Equally owned LLC
Right
So people think
That you work for me
Is not the case
That we are four partners
In this
In this flailing enterprise
I didn't know that
That's cool
Well I just see all these
You didn't know that
How are you gonna play dumb?
How are you gonna play dumb like that?
That water's real still
Behind you there Tim
It's a still image
But no
So you're going
By the way
I support the writers
But this
That doesn't mean
That this show
Doesn't go on
Well can't we support
The writers too?
What?
Can't we support them too?
Of course
But
I mean
I don't
I think the WGA
Would say that
You could continue