Name: Beth Stelling, Eliana Athayde (Episode 252)
Uploaded: 2023-06-01T22:30:10.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Beth Stelling, Eliana Athayde (Episode 252)' from Office Hours Live with Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-06-01. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Beth Stelling, Eliana Athayde (Episode 252)' from Office Hours Live with Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-06-01. Transcript available.

Beth Stelling, Eliana Athayde (Episode 252)

I like having fun, I like to laugh.
I like to meet people who can make me laugh.
Live!
From Glendale, California.
Yes, I like to laugh.
It's all this hour's live.
Take two.
Back up.
All right.
We've got a studio audience of one with us this morning,
which I love.
I love the sound of laughter.
God bless it.
Is this fake?
No.
This is real.
I love it.
It almost sounds like a fake laugh.
Really?
I hope that's not good.
Offensive.
You think she has a fake laugh?
Now you're going to be self-conscious about it.
Right off the bat.
Now you're going to be self-conscious about your laugh.
Welcome.
Vic.
Vic.
I got Vic in the mirror.
Oh, you got Vic in the mirror today?
I have Vic in the mirror here.
So I can make eye contact.
It freaks you out.
I know.
You're like Jack in the Shinies.
Yeah, there we go.
I hate it.
Good morning everybody.
Let's bring the energy way down.
I'm sorry.
Oh, now mercy.
Good morning.
Thank you for joining us today on Office Hours Live.
We'll be right back.
The theme song's still going.
Where is that?
There's always a bet, Vic.
There's always a bet.
It stresses me out.
I like the bet.
I just didn't know what the show began.
We're trying different energies out.
We're going to have...
What the fuck?
We have...
I didn't tell the boys this, but we have a focus group watching today.
Uh-oh.
Oh.
And they're doing knobs.
You know how they do the knobs?
What they like, what they don't like?
And so now we're drifting into kind of a chiller, more laid-back Office Hours
experience.
And the numbers are going through the roof.
A focus group, a bunch of DPs, or...?
Good morning.
Good morning, Doug.
Thank you for bringing laughter and joy to my day.
Thank you very much.
And, of course, behind me in the mirror is Victor Berger IV.
What's up, everybody?
Vic, you love your Starbucks.
I do love it all.
Love it.
He loves it all.
Love it all.
We have a terrific show planned for you today.
It is the 1st of June, 2023, here in Glendale, California.
A little overcast today, producer Matt.
What do you have to say about that?
June gloom.
June gloom.
June and we got June gloom.
Does anybody have some sun protection for you, president?
I want to get to some Skrillex.
I want to get to some Skrillex.
Skrillex.
I want to get to the latest from Skrillex.
His new collab with Neil Young came out this morning.
Didn't Skrillex do something with some rock guy?
Yeah.
The Doors, right?
The Doors, right?
Eddie Krieger.
Rough stuff.
No, some Skrillex rumors.
Ray Manzarek, I mean.
Sorry.
Ray.
It was the whole band, the drummer instance.
It was like the whole band.
Oh, it was?
So he was like the new Jim Morrison?
All right.
There he is.
All right.
Do better.
Oh, sorry.
Do better.
Do better.
The rumors are this.
I noticed this the past couple of weeks.
Very small amount of people doing this, but there's a very small amount of
people watching.
So it adds up.
People of this are claiming that I wear makeup on this show.
How dare you.
I see these people writing.
And they're saying that I wear makeup and that my face doesn't match the rest
of my neck.
Come on, man.
And my body, right?
Well, I'm here to tell you, Sam, the intern, do you have some paper towels out
there?
And I have a theory on this.
Does anybody have any?
Wake up!
We should have planned for this.
I didn't plan for this.
Does anybody have any?
Take your underwear off.
Let me use your underwear.
Wake up!
Wake up!
Wake up!
Great rush and put a little makeup!
Coffee filter's great.
Coffee filter.
We're going to look.
Look at this.
If I was wearing makeup, this thing would be bright orange, but no!
Wow.
Nothing.
Show the other thing.
Well, I mean, today you may not be wearing makeup, but a week ago.
Oh, yeah.
Today.
A week ago.
Who knows?
How can we check a week ago?
Now your head's all red.
That's not good.
Wake up!
Wake up!
Wake up!
Wake up!
Oh, shit!
Wake up!
Scare the hell out of me.
Wake up!
Wake up!
There we go.
No.
And in fact, my guest today, Beth Stelling is here enjoying the hell out of the
show.
Thank you, everyone.
Beth Stelling, I've mentioned this before we went on live, and she said it does,
she's
looking at the monitor.
And it does look like you have a little bit of an orange tone.
An orange tone, but in person.
In person, zero orange tone.
So, I blame who?
I think it's…
Matt.
I blame Wes.
Yikes.
Who, by the way, Wes…
You have some good lights.
The lights are great.
It's a tungsten lamp.
Vic?
It's tungsten.
God, I hate it.
The majority of comments lately have been how great you look.
Well, no, I get very nice compliments, my hair.
Oh, great.
Oh, great.
I also get people that think I'm dying, I have cancer, I have AIDS.
Those are the trolls.
Because I've lost some weight.
Nice.
I just read this morning on TikTok.
They said, "You're so hot."
I am hot.
They say, "You're so hot."
Wow, congratulations.
I'm 47 years old.
Do I look it?
Uh-uh.
Uh-uh.
Nah-uh.
Nah-nah.
Nah-uh.
I look 22 years old.
Well…
My doctor said.
I went to see my doctor, he goes, "You look 22, dude!"
No.
Time coming day and night.
Listen.
And by the way, if… should… all the other…
Jimmy Kimmel wears makeup…
All the time.
All the time.
Every day.
Gets up and puts on a firm foundation.
All the great…
Wake up!
I'm nothing against wearing makeup.
Mm-mm.
Happy Pride Month, by the way.
Wake up!
Wake up!
But if you did, it'd be better than that.
Yes.
I think the comment is sort of like, "I don't care you're wearing makeup.
You should just make sure it matches your neck."
But I have an issue with my neck, where I get very red.
People have noticed this over the years.
I get red in my neck.
It's happened my whole life.
I get…
And makeup people on movies, when I'm doing big blockbuster movies, the makeup
people are
always coming up to me, doing this.
where I get very red people have noticed this over the years I get red in my
neck
it's happened my whole life I get and makeup people on movies when I'm doing
big big blockbuster movies the makeup people are always coming up to me doing
this where you doing you're doing a big movie like a week and a half ago weren't
you week yeah wasn't isn't it possible for the makeup to still be in your skin
you don't mean does it like soak in and absorb it's not how's that thing on
your
neck oh I ran into over the weekend very warm I don't think I've ever talked to
him no you've never done shows with him back I've been around him hundreds of
times but you've never talked to him he doesn't well I'm sure he's a admirer of
yours he doesn't talk to you who does he talk to does he come in and just like
stuff to me he sees me on the street when they do a show with him does he kind
of
go first and then he doesn't see your act and he's gone and you're like I wish
Mark Maron was on my act no I don't know she saw it but just contextualize Beth
here Beth is a comedian all right we can move on
I asked Matt our producer I said is Beth here promoting anything
I got nothing you got nothing yeah we're on strike and yeah do you do you write
are you
part member of the WGA proud member and are you so what we're so are you a
staff member of somewhere
uh were you I did not have to walk out of any room the last thing I was on in
the
fall was it was Rick and Morty oh there oh so can you dirt can you dirt with us
I love to spill some dirt I got all kinds of dirt I'm chalk full huh chalk full
of dirt oh I want to
know let's how many people in that right let's get filthy
I could write these by the way I could do it I could cut that staff in half
nine
let me go into the writer's room when you get come back up I'll get in there
you hit record
I'll improvise for about an hour okay and then you transcribe not too different
than what we already
do yeah yeah I'm just kidding guys I know there's if I had watched if I ever
when I watch the show
which I haven't I will I will learn to appreciate the craft that goes into I
just read on season eight
so okay I can't take any credit for for things people well people are gonna be
mad about that
season right oh they're gonna hate it no Justin Roiland voicing voices people
say you know what people
say they say he is he is that show how are you gonna do it without him he hasn't
been a part of the show
in many many years that's what people that's what other that's the response I
think very Hollywood
no when it comes to the sense of like when it's convenient he's part of it
right he's not but the
truth is he wasn't for a long time he goes in and does the voices and does and
says what's what's
written he's not improvising maybe a little maybe what do you think you're
contributing to the show
I'm not in that old booth you're not in that part of the process you're not in
there with your script
my pencil do that again one more time please there's a director for that so we're
getting into
the weeds Beth is that is that a real place this sweatshirt you're wearing Stelling
University
that's my last name is that your merch could I know that's your I know that's
your could be
I'm from Dayton Ohio and this was made for me by the director of my last
special Mo Welch
so it was a gift like a little a little rap gift okay so it's an insight but it
could be a cool
merch if I I think it's great go on the road um yeah uh John Weiss John Allison
Weiss
what classes would you offer at that university
I don't know cooking what what are you expert at yeah what are you good at
field hockey field
hockey yeah oh field hockey with the with the curly q stick yeah it looks a bit
like a candy cane people
say okay fun yeah all right well that's just made the women's masters team for
the u.s
wait what i just made the u.s women's masters team are you serious no you're
not wow yeah look what
you're you're playing women's field hockey professionally yeah but the truth is
when
masters means old gals oh of course like jack nicholas in golf 35 and up this
is the team roster oh my
goodness look at you dogs pro no for real yeah where do you play that's awesome
the pan am games are
in argentina in december and you're going to this yeah you know i just got an
email on my way in about
that uh it says are you are they flying you there they're providing a boater
down no i'm asking are they
providing accommodations i think i'm lucky if i don't have to pay for the
uniform really but no i really
don't think they're flying it's possible to put the team up you should do like
a big sale i've tried
out yeah or you can sponsor the team if you cared about women's sports
okay depends on which kind of women you're talking about i got a big no i'm
just kidding
all right we'll let you catch up on your emails and let's start the show i don't
have my glasses it's
hard to see i got glasses any glasses try these see if they work these are i
don't know if they're
the right kind have your makeup on them though no there's no makeup on my body
okay i do apply
makeup on my legs and my abdomen my wife's pleasure i got hairy legs and these
are a light
script but yeah does that help so here's the thing i'm booked at vermont comedy
club for the
first part of the pan am games so i got to decide am i going to move that and
just do the full pan
and which one's paying vermont okay there you go okay sometimes you just need a
little tim to help
you make a decision yes i'll manage your career thank you um matt i gotta get
to so many things we're off
to a rocky start because i'm not staying on schedule huh you get that that
image i sent like it looks
i just texted you an image to see what you look like on on my youtube where is
it it's on the chat
or the text well the people at home can see that oh yeah i know but this is
what they see
oh wow see i'm not making no you're kidding i swear to god look at that
you can see alec can you pull up um this what's going on that's funny for our
viewers at home there
you go you should have done if you you should have did something a little more
avert like you know
some clown makeup sorry i didn't have a chance to hey watch all right that's
enough alec uh thank you
let me just prom