Name: Abby Martin, Eric Wareheim, Tim Deletes His Twitter (Episode 253)
Uploaded: 2023-06-08T17:00:07.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Abby Martin, Eric Wareheim, Tim Deletes His Twitter (Episode 253)' from Office Hours Live with Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-06-08. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Abby Martin, Eric Wareheim, Tim Deletes His Twitter (Episode 253)' from Office Hours Live with Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-06-08. Transcript available.

Abby Martin, Eric Wareheim, Tim Deletes His Twitter (Episode 253)

I like having fun, I like to laugh, I like to meet people who can make me laugh,
I like having fun, yes I like to laugh, am I on, hello, good morning, I think
so, I'm on, hello, good morning to you, good morning to you, good morning to
you, good morning dear listeners and beautiful
Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Join me back. Good
morning. Off to it's out. Out of key. Good morning. Wait, we should do a barbershop
quartet.
Good morning, everybody. It's Tim Heidecker here on a hump day. Wednesday. That's
right. It's June 7th. Wednesday, June 7th. And I don't know where you are in
the world. A lot of places. It's hot. Summertime's coming. And here it's just
not. It's a little overcast.
Is it still hot out there? Yellow. I'm happy for it. Good morning, Doug. Good
morning. Good morning, Vic.
What's up, everybody? What's going on with your hat? You got something on the
tip of your hat. I know it ripped. It ripped here.
Okay. I just didn't get a new hat yet. All right. I just got to do it. I meant
to. In studio today, we've got a tremendous guest. Third time on the show, I
think.
Anybody confirm that? Confirmed. Third time? Third timer here. We've got to
make a list of our third timers. I think it's got to be a short list.
It's got to be a short list because people generally don't want to come back.
That's the message I give you. One, two, three.
Wasn't I the first live guest? Were you the first live guest? Oh, my God. One,
two.
Well, somebody was telling me we had Ben Berman on the show a couple of weeks
ago. The very first show, yeah.
Well, I'm saying we had Ben Berman on recently to talk about his tremendous Gladiators
documentary, American Gladiators documentary.
Somebody pointed out that he was on the very first Office Hours because he was
in the office with me at the time.
But, no, we have Abby Martin. Abby Road George Martin. I'll find a nickname for
you. Abby Road George Martin. Or Giles Martin. Son of George.
Giles, yes, I know Giles. Giles got tasked with handling the Beatles library.
Yeah, there's something in his lap and went to town. Could have named your...
Okay, great. I just got a little scheduling confirmation.
I can now go on to Do Not Disturb.
Because this shit's all about you.
We're going to talk about, we're going to go around the world with Abby, get
her take.
What's really funny about Abby's, Abby's, is I'm small talking with her as she
comes in.
I'm asking her about this, asking her about this. Hey, did you hear this thing?
She goes, no, I didn't hear about that.
Hey, did you hear about this? No, when did that happen? I'm like, you're
supposed to know about shit.
No. You didn't know about the UFOs. No. What was the other thing you didn't
know about?
You said something in New York. What's going on? Oh, New York.
What is it? New York is shrouded in forest fire smoke. Oh, right. Yes.
You did hear about that. Yes, I did.
Yeah, apparently. And I'm heading there tomorrow, believe it or not. Oh, great.
Oh, my God. Back to New York to host Saturday Night Live.
On your gas mask. Yes.
Yes, we're, there's a new episode of Saturday Night Live this Saturday with me
and Greta Van Fleet as the musical.
Wait, are you being a scab?
Crossing the picket line. And Jim Brewer is going to come down from his
compound to do some sketches with me.
We're bringing back Goat Boy and Chris Kattan is coming out.
Can't wait.
We're going to do a mango sketch.
Crazy conspiracy theorist.
No, I'm doing a, oh, I can't wait to tell you about this movie I'm doing this
weekend, but I can't, I don't think I can.
It's very low level shit, but you're going to, the Office Hours community is
going to love hearing about it.
But, um, Office Hour, uh, Abby Martin is here to, hopefully you've, you've
knows about some stuff going on.
Something, yeah.
You're, uh, we're going to talk about, I guess, in my home, in my backyard and
here in Glendale, California, the culture war has come home.
The chickens have come home to roost, Vic. Did you see this news?
Oh my goodness, no.
The, uh, there was a big clash between the Glendale school board.
Give me a chicken salad as a waffle cross.
Why is this every week you can't turn a drop off? Like, what is it that you're
not doing?
It was the Martin theme song and I just wouldn't stop because I had the, I had
the chickens go.
I had to get the chickens quick because you said the chickens came home to roost.
Don't need it.
And then I was been trying to get the Martin theme song because Abby Martin's
here.
Sure.
Thank you.
Okay.
Okay.
All right, go ahead.
Just take one thing at a time.
All right.
If you think that's good.
I get overloaded, I know.
It's too much.
Then maybe less of the oleo.
Really?
Yeah.
You're up.
All right.
I'll chill out.
Breathe.
No, in my, in the Glendale Unified School District, uh, there was some dust up
last night
between the Antifa and the Proud Boys and the, and the Armenian men.
Right?
Was it just people posing as, um, parents of people like students?
I don't know.
I feel like they weren't even really parents just claiming that.
I, I mean, first of all, the Armenian cultures in, in Glendale, at least
extremely conservative
people.
Um, and, uh, I, I, I can understand them.
They're, I mean, my kids go to public school here, and there is a, um, there's
certainly
a culture clash happening at, at our school between, I would say more
progressive parents,
or, you know, uh, people that have, that live in Glendale that are probably
work in the industry.
Mm-hmm.
Uh, no, and I'm not talking about Tom Cruise or anybody.
I'm talking, like, people that are, like, fucking.
Chris Kattan.
Not even that.
Like, below the line.
Below the line.
Below the line.
Yeah.
Artie, artsy people.
Mm-hmm.
You know, like, fucking set painters or whatever.
Like, people like, and people like me, top echelon, uh, A-level celebrities.
And the more traditional, conservative Armenian families that live in Glendale
as well.
There is a clash, there is definitely conflict there.
But I think all, the only thing that the, uh, school district was doing was
passing a resolution
that they're, uh, they're recognizing Pride Month.
Pride Month, yeah.
That's grooming kids now.
I, well, we're gonna get into that in the second half of the show.
Mm-hmm.
Cause we're gonna talk about Tim Pool, Dim Pool, Tim Poodle, whatever you wanna
call him.
Pim Pool.
Why?
Uh, this louse.
Louse.
Had the, had the tenacity, had the, uh, had the, what is it?
Had the, uh.
The audacity.
The audacity!
To bring me up on his hate show, this boring hate show.
They sit around and whine and complain all day long.
Don't even, uh, yeah.
We'll, we'll listen to it later.
Tim Heidecker says-
His advice is more boring than helpful.
What is this?
Who's got it?
Grooming.
Tim Heidecker says he wants this normalized.
Yeah.
I want it all normalized.
His advice is more boring than helpful.
I think normal's in it.
Normal, normalizing, interesting.
Like, I don't, I don't think, part of me that says like, I don't really wanna
be normal.
Like, there's, there's certain, you know, if you're like into like weird shit,
you don't
wanna be seen as normal.
Right.
But then there's a difference between like, some people do.
Some people that are gay, trans, they wanna, they don't wanna, they don't want
their identity
to be, uh, how people see them.
They don't wanna go back in the closet, man.
They don't wanna go back to the closet.
Yeah.
They wanna be open and honest about who they are and who they love.
And I love that.
So I wanna get into all that later.
I don't wanna get into it now.
But you're here for the whole experience today.
I'm here for the whole shebang, baby.
So, so we'll get into that.
And I, and it, and the, the reaction to all this has happened the past couple
of weeks.
With me speaking my mind is, I, listen, I'm, uh, I'm an addict.
I'm an, I'm a food addict.
I used to smoke.
You know, I know that I'm an addict.
I'm not on any kind of drugs or anything like that.
Calm down.
But it's certainly, uh, it becomes evident when, when you look at how, uh, at
social media
and Twitter and things like this.
And Twitter has become such a, it's been turned into 4chan.
Remember 4chan?
Oh yeah.
8chan.
It's, it's, it's nothing but negativity and hate.
I mean, it's not all, it's not all that, but it's a lot of it.
And so I've been, I've been sort of, you know, mingling with the idea of
getting off.
And then, and this put me over the edge.
Cause as soon as Tim Pool starts talking about me, I didn't know what was going
on.
I didn't know.
I'm not watching that show.
I don't know what's going on.
Suddenly it's bing, bing, bing, bing.
I should be hung.
I should be just, you know, I should go to jail for the rest of my life.
I'm a paido.
A pedo.
I'm a groomer.
Bing, bing, bing, bing.
It's all I see.
I go like, what am I doing?
Hey, get out of here.
This town is gone to seed.
This town is, it's rotten.
So goodbye.
And we're going to be deleting it later in the show, but.
Tim Apple.
I think it's the right move.
What do you think?
Twitter has become a complete cesspool.
Yes.
And Elon Musk has done more to demystify billionaires than anyone else.
Because people for the longest time thought billionaires were this mysterious,
you know,
people who were able to game the system, these genius Machiavellian people.
And Elon Musk is the dumbest possible cretin who sits pathetically in a cave,
cave dwelling,
and just replies to people like Andy Ngo and extreme right ringers.
It's extremely sad.
Yes.
And he's done more to Twitter than what they were claiming the democratic
elites were doing.
Right.
I mean, he has algorithmically backpaged anyone taken direction from Andy Ngo.
Yeah.
And Ian Miles Chong to like delete people like crime think and stuff like that.
So it's, it's really cartoonish what's happening.
I couldn't agree more.
Twitter is very unfun.
I don't go on it other than to just hate watch once a week.
Yeah.
I, I used to be a great place and I feel bad because it was, it is a, there is
a community
there and people were sad when I said I was getting off it and everything.
And it used to be really silly and fun.
And you know, you just have all sorts of great comedy came out of it and
friendships.
I made a lot of good friends that way.
Great way to connect with people.
But that's not saying I'm going offline.
There's like a million other places.
Uh, I'm going to be on, anyways, I'm going to get into all that later.
I don't want to talk about it now, Vic.
Stop goading me into this.
Satan's plan.
You know, it's going to be people calling in, eulogizing your Twitter account.
No, I know.
Well, let's take a call and see what everyone's, how everyone's doing.
What was that?
Yes.
Let's, um, let's start with, um.
Why do I feel, Matt, I had this thought this morning.
Oh, go ahead.
Should I, we should start doing like a, maybe I need to do like a pre, like an
hour before
the real show begins.
Yeah.
And then you make a little notes and cards and you know what you're going to
talk about.
What do you mean?
No, no.
I mean, I mean go live at nine.
Oh, just get rolling here.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
But maybe without the guests, without some, without the drops.
Just at the top of the dome.
Yeah.
And just like get in, like just warm up everybody and like make it like a
little looser.
Cause I feel like I'm always like rushing to get through stuff.
I'm seeing Lieutenant Carson here.
He's got a new hair.
Dog's going to play crickets.
Every time I spend another like one minute extra talking about it.
You can't smoke.
Carson, is that a new haircut?
Oh, you want to talk?
All right.
I don't want to talk.
It is.
Who do we have?
I love it.
You don't have to talk to me.
Thank you.
Bye.
Bye.
Jack Sheridan has a, he wants to make us some money.
I think, right?
Yeah, Jack.
I do.
Can you hear me?
Yeah.
What you got?
You got some, uh, an entrepreneur.
Are you Jack from Twitter?
Oh, yeah.
That's me at Jack.
First one.
Cool.
You know who's, uh, that guy that started Twitter, y