Name: They Might Be Giants (Episode 259)
Uploaded: 2023-07-17T21:30:10.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'They Might Be Giants (Episode 259)' from Office Hours Live with Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-07-17. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'They Might Be Giants (Episode 259)' from Office Hours Live with Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-07-17. Transcript available.

They Might Be Giants (Episode 259)

I like having fun, I like to laugh, I like to meet people who can make me laugh.
- You're getting a lot of ass. - Hey guys.
- You're doing a really big ass, I'm gonna do another pie.
- Oh, really? - Oh, well, the song is all over, like every other one.
- Is it way too easy to listen to it all? - Okay.
- Good morning! - Let's go have some fun.
- Good morning!
- It is, if you want to find out what day it is, that's why we've been a lot of
listening to it.
It is July, apparently 17th, 10:05 a.m. here, sorry we're starting a few
minutes late.
Glendale, California, where it is, hot!
Oh, it's so damn hot, but we're gonna power through, we have a poorly working
air conditioner here.
Apologies to everybody in the room.
We are live, and I have with...
No, that's fine! Go! Go! Go wild! Get it out!
- He was doing the horns, I didn't even go on the horns. - I know, I'm happy.
- That's a beautiful one. - You're not gonna get me down this morning, I couldn't
be happier,
in the studio, right to the left of me in my peripheral vision. I'm gonna try
to use big words with you guys today.
It seems like that might impress you, I don't know. I feel like, yeah.
Peripheral, peripheral vision. Profiterals. Profiterals.
- That's delicious. - Let's write a song called "Profiterals Man."
They might be giants, they might be giants, boys, are here. Can you believe it?
What is happening? I'm sending a note.
What is happening? I'm sending a note to myself, a message to myself from the
year 19, it's a brand new record.
It's a brand new record. 1990.
Dear Tim, you will grow up to be a big boy, big man. You will have children.
- What? - You will have great success and appear in the movie Bridesmaids. No
lines.
- Jim Apple. - And you will have an unpopular podcast.
And one of your guests will be Marc Maron. - Now I'm getting excited.
- One of your other guests will be your childhood heroes. - Huh? - They might
be giants.
John Flansburg. John Linnell. - Yes. - Linnell?
- Here we are. My dreams have come true, Vic. Let me welcome them.
A good day. And you have asked to not speak on the show. Well, you are.
No music from you today, though. Sometimes we have bands come in.
- Oh, yeah, we could have brought some instruments. - Ah, shit.
We got plenty here, but you're a left-handed guitar player.
- I am a left-handed guitar player. - Does that mean you're a lefty?
- I'm full on left everything. - Okay. I'm a lefty, but I play the guitar right-handed.
- Oh, really? - Didn't you hit the-- - I bat lefty. I do everything lefty
except the music.
- Distinct advantage in that department.
- Yes. I've recently been playing softball. - Oh, really? - I'm having great
success.
- Crushing it. - Yeah. - Crushing it.
- Learning about when to wait. I would swing through it a lot, but when I
connect, it goes the distance.
- They usually put the worst player in the right field, so you put them to work
a little bit, right?
- Hello. - Yeah?
Well, let me welcome my collaborators, my conspirators, Doug Lussenhopp.
- Good morning. - And Victor Berger.
- Hello, everybody. - These guys are like getting me out of here.
- After they walk into. - And Captain Carlin is here. We were off last week.
And I was in-- you ever spend any time in Miami Beach? You guys are probably
Miami Beach guys.
- Sure, yeah, yeah. - A little bit. - Yeah.
- Not as much as they wanted us to. - No.
- Were you at a beautiful hotel? - Not so much.
- Oh, really? - It was okay. It was like an Airbnb, but you know they have
these Airbnbs that are just hotels?
Or it's like somebody has an Airbnb account and they have a deal with the hotel,
so you think you're getting an Airbnb, but you end up at a hotel.
- Crazy. - You don't see the photo of where you were going?
- I do know that before, before I make that decision. - Right, right.
- But somehow it's in the Airbnb world. So it was like a block off the strip
and it was fine. I have to tell you their Wi-Fi. I wrote a review of the--
- Oh, really? - Yeah.
- Can you read it? - Probably could.
- Well, what did it summarize? - I mean, the deal was, and this is a lame thing
to be complaining about in Miami Beach, Wi-Fi was trash.
- It was like 256K modem Wi-Fi. - Right, right.
- Which I just think that should be a baseline standard. - Absolutely.
- Well, I mean, in your line of work, it seems like you might need some
bandwidth.
- I need to connect. - Yeah.
- I need to watch stuff. - Yeah.
- And then the TVs. Do you know this thing? Do you stay in a lot of hotels, I
guess, when you're on the road?
- Sure. - Yes, absolutely.
- And they've got, and this is like, this is the most hacky comedy observation.
But the smoothing setting on the TV.
- Oh, that drives me crazy. - What's going on?
- It's awful. - Yeah, yeah.
- Like, I'm trying to watch, I try to watch the first Mission Impossible, which
was just on TV.
So we'll watch that. And it looked like this bad soap opera.
- Absolutely, yeah. And does anyone actually like it? Or was it just like a non-choice?
- Is everyone just going along with it? - Yeah, yeah.
- Yeah, yeah. - Right, yeah. So what it's doing is it's making the video black
of the screen really hard.
You guys know this world, right? Like, Doug might know it.
- It's the frame rate thing, I think. - It's the frame rate.
- It's the frame rate. - It's the frame rate.
- Films are supposed to be 24 frames, and this makes it like 60.
- They're basically interpolating all the frames. - Right, right.
- And then it looks like video. - For what? Is it for sports, I think? Maybe?
- It's for sports. - Probably.
- It's for sports. - Sports is cool like that.
- And there's no way to change the setting. I tried. They locked that out.
- Awful. - And then I watched--
- Oh, really? - Yeah.
- Oh, that's terrible. - I'm sorry.
- And then I watched The Office, Steve Carell, The American Office.
It's kind of a nice, relaxing, end-of-the-day kind of thing to watch.
And that looked, I mean, it looked like a student film.
- Right. - It's so weird, yeah.
I mean, maybe the people who came up with it just see things with different
eyes,
but everybody who's at least our age looks at it and it looks cheap.
- The word is appalling.
- Well, I can make an even smaller complaint about modern televisions.
- Yes, now we're into it.
- All right, so this is the thing.
If you get, like, I'm not sure what brand it is.
It might be LG, but the actual remote control, you hit the button and it's like...
- Oh, it plays the music. - Oh, it plays the music.
- And it's like, but it takes so long to change from one channel to the next.
Like, how are we going backwards on this?
- We're going backwards!
- How are we going backwards on this, people?
It's like, you know, it's like, no, it's like change, change, change, change.
Like, that's what you want out of a remote.
- Here's another thing, you're not browsing, you're not grazing.
- You want to get granular here? - You want to get granular here?
- Yes. - Oh yeah, let's get all...
- Grains. - Okay.
- Get down to the grains.
- You get into a hotel, you turn on the TV.
All I want to do is like, watch, like maybe a little cable news, just to like,
like stuff,
very passive watching kind of stuff.
Maybe a...
- You're apologizing for being a person who watches TV.
Just like, you don't have to explain.
- Like most people understand the concept of just watching TV.
- Well, no, but I mean, but...
- But then if you turn the TV off, go back in, you're back on that main menu.
- Right. - Right.
- All the time.
So you got to go search for your channel again, and it doesn't just turn back
on to what you
were just watching.
- Yeah.
You got to cut off the umbilical cord.
- Also, I think the housekeeper, and I love workers, and I love the blue collar
and everything.
I think they shat in our bed.
It was either me, my wife, or them.
I can't be sure.
But somebody took a big dump under the covers.
- That seems to be worse than all the TV stuff.
- I should have led with that.
Is that what you're saying, John?
Okay.
All right.
Let's do this.
Let's wrap the show up.
- Three star review.
- I did go three stars.
- Really?
- That's what I went with.
Because I want to be fair.
I'm not going to just one star Karen this place.
I'm going like, I thought it was pretty good.
It was a good hotel.
It was nice, close to the beach.
It was reasonably priced.
But here's some creative criticisms and some notes.
Anyways, we're moving on.
I'm being told by Wes, our Patreon is active right now.
Patreon.com/OfficeHoursLive.
If I could plug my tour very quickly.
- Please.
- All through respect.
You know how it works.
- All the dates.
- Not all the dates.
I will say that my tour begins next Thursday.
Next Wednesday.
- Wednesday.
- Where are you planning on Thursday?
- Los Angeles.
The Moroccan club.
It's what we call a warm-up show.
- Uh-huh.
- You know what I'm talking about?
- Yeah.
- You got to shake off the dust.
- Los Angeles.
- Try a couple of new tunes, Vic.
- Oh, I would like that.
- And then we're off and we start in Monterey.
You ever play Monterey?
I think it's a big mistake.
- Monterey is like...
- Monterey, California.
Not Mexico.
- We did the TED conference.
- The TED conference at Monterey.
- Yeah, that's right.
- Oh, okay.
- That's the only time we've been there.
- It was a disaster.
- Oh, really?
I want to hear more about that.
- Yes, yes.
- But the big news with the Monterey show
is we've added a couple of acts.
We've got Jimi Hendrix, The Who.
Mamas and Papas.
- Otis Redding.
- Ravi Shankar, Otis Redding.
The Blues Project.
- Simon and Garfunkel.
- Simon and Garfunkel.
- But they won't show up on the film.
- What is Wood that?
- I think maybe their set was kind of crummy.
I don't know.
They've been ghosted from the whole thing.
- That's true, like it never happened.
Same with the Grateful Dead at Woodstock, correct?
I don't think they're in the movie.
- They're not in the movie, no.
- But they played at Woodstock.
- Yeah, and the band did as well.
- Wow.
And what happened there?
- There was too much Sha Na Na.
They had to...
Sha Na Na did that big extended set.
- You've got to get the jams with Sha Na Na.
- Can you believe that Sha Na Na was at that Woodstock?
- Well, it's interesting that the idea of Sha Na Na was considered a fresh
breeze.
- Yeah.
- But like, you know, so was like Sly and the Family Stone.
Nobody had ever seen anything that sort of circus.
- It was also kind of like Sha Na Na was the first wave of nostalgia of rock
and roll.
- Right.
- There was really no...
- But of incredibly recent rock and roll.
- Yeah.
- If you look at it now, it was like...
- It would be like an NSYNC or a Backstreet Boys...
- It was like less than 10 years, I think, since that kind of music.
- Since rock and roll started, yeah.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Well, they're doing like doo-wop-y stuff, which was the first stuff that was,
right?
So it was like 50...
- It was like set-hop.
- I guess it was 50s, but yeah, it was...
- 57.
- It was music that had not totally gone extinct.
- 12 years later, it was like pre-helvis.
- Yeah.
- And then you've got...
- Well, then Frank Zappa was doing that too, right?
- That's right.
- Yeah, yeah.
It was his roots music.
- You like Frank Zappa?
- We were just talking about Frank Zappa the other day.
- We were talking about the shame of having ever liked Frank Zappa.
- Now we're gonna be friends.
- I wasn't sure.
- Yeah, it's tough.
It's tough.
I mean, 'cause there's some very good things about him,
and then there are things about him that are actually, you know,
were toxic then and feel super toxic now.
- Oh yeah, he does not age well.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
If you really wanna, you know, burrow down on reasons to not enjoy Frank Zappa,
listen to his Terry Gross interview, 'cause he is...
- Really?
- It's like, what?
- See, I liked him in high school.
He had this book out that I thought was great.
It was like a book about politics and free speech and all this,
'cause he was like a big free speech activist guy.
- Right, that was his sort 