Name: Tim & Vic's Going Away Party (Episode 261)
Uploaded: 2023-07-27T21:00:09.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Tim & Vic's Going Away Party (Episode 261)' from Office Hours Live with Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-07-27. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Tim & Vic's Going Away Party (Episode 261)' from Office Hours Live with Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-07-27. Transcript available.

Tim & Vic's Going Away Party (Episode 261)

Amster!
I like to meet people who can make me laugh.
I like having fun, yes I like it to laugh.
I like having fun to meet people who can make me laugh.
What is the reason for those stars?
You're my favorite person, you want to cuddle, you want to cuddle, you want to
cuddle.
I don't need this shit.
Let's go!
Let's go!
Throw away the trash.
I'm all about the vicks, about the vicks.
I'm all about the vicks, about the vicks.
I thought I'd start with a little Mitch McConnell impression.
Boom!
Boom!
Boom!
Boom!
Let's go!
Let's go!
Now listen.
Good morning.
Second, I think during the countdown, Dick.
During the countdown, I had two thoughts.
One was I wanted to do a bit where I start off by not saying anything.
And then I say, you know what?
I'm not going to say anything.
Because last week, I talked some shit on Sparks.
And people jumped down my throat.
They kicked me in the ass on the comments.
They said, how dare you?
So I was going to do a whole bit about, I'm not going to say anything.
I'm going to keep my mouth shut.
You don't want to hear what I have to say?
That's fine with me.
I'll rest my voice.
Lord knows I used it last night.
Then.
Now that's at five of the countdown.
That's at five.
Three of the countdown.
And before the countdown, I thought, you know what?
Let's not get into the Mitch McConnell thing.
It's very dark.
It's very disturbing.
Very upsetting.
Well, don't you think that there's a coincidence?
It's more of a coincidence that the alien thing came out and then he's freezing
up.
He's clamming up.
No.
And then at two, I go, fuck it.
Let's go.
I'm doing it.
Let's go!
Uh, but I mean, basically because he's a, you know, P.O.S.
How do you like me now?
Hell no.
I mean, listen, really, honestly, somebody made this point.
I'm not trying to be ageist here, but somebody online had this question, a rhetorical
question.
Who here works with an 81-year-old at their job?
Oh, hell no.
Like, come on, folks.
Let's put these people out to pasture.
The poor bastard.
Like, let him lie down.
Let him go to some old folks' home.
You're blowing the balls up.
That's pretty sad, though.
Anyway, we are back.
And in that sense, I want to say it is July 27th, 2023, Glendale, California.
Hot as a hell.
And we have no guests today.
We have cleared the slate because I just want to be with my Trinity, Doug and
Vic.
Thanks for coming.
Thanks for coming.
And the captain.
And by the way.
Oh, yeah.
Good morning, Doug.
Good morning.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What's up, everybody?
I didn't say that.
Oh.
Good morning, Vic.
What's up, everybody?
And I wanted to do this.
I talked to Vic and Matt, sorry, Vic and Doug about this.
I said, I think we should do, we should have a little salute to the captain
right now.
Salute to the captain, Doug.
Anything?
No music for this?
Here we go.
Here we go.
I got it.
Salute to the captain.
Because Mr. Carlin, captain himself, has had a tremendous summer of booking
guests.
I mean, listen, Matt, give us a rundown of who we had on.
We had the They Might Be Giants.
We had Blake Mills, John Early, Bar Italia.
Who am I missing?
It's a big one.
Marc Maron.
Marc Maron.
What's that?
King Gizzard.
King Gizzard.
Natasha Leggero.
Natasha Leggero.
Moshe Kasher.
It's been jam-packed.
There's stuff behind the scenes, too, he's doing.
Like, that hasn't even seen yet.
Oh, just wait for next month.
The fall is going to be lit.
The fall is going to be lit.
August will be lit, too.
And then, yes.
And need you think we are slowing down, just because Vic and I are rocking out
every night,
that's not to be the case.
Next week, Doug's helming the show?
That's correct.
Do you have any announcements about that?
Yeah, we can say.
Sure, it's confirmed.
Me and Dave England of Jackass fame will be co-hosting the show.
And we will have a guest.
Not confirmed.
We're not going to.
We're not going to.
We'll let you know.
Okay.
Just in case it falls through.
Then we'll have...
Matt, what's next on the agenda?
Walk us through the calendar.
I did ask for that chart, but it didn't come together.
Oh, we're posting it next.
Okay.
We got it.
Couple of surprises.
Couple of surprises.
All I can say is...
We'll see you tonight at the Stress Factory.
You're going to be delighted with what we have in the can.
Pre-taped fun stuff.
Yeah.
I couldn't be happier with where this is headed.
Then I think we will have a legitimate off week.
Not even.
We're going to run a best of.
That's enough.
I mean...
Well, we'll be on even.
Okay.
Because people write me, they go, I didn't get a chance to watch the Blake
Mills performance.
I didn't see this.
Yeah, so much.
Sorry, I'm the wild one.
I say we're going to curate a best of the summer, best of the recent show.
Our favorites.
That's the context.
Yeah.
Our favorites.
So we're going to run that.
And then before you know it, we'll be back.
So join patreon.com/officehourslive to make sure you don't miss any.
And then by the way, if you're a patron, when Vic and I are on the road, you
don't think
we're going to be jumping online and sharing exclusive videos and we're going
to try to schedule.
We are going to.
I shouldn't say try.
There is no try.
That's my Yoda.
We are going to do a few.
One, if not two, zoom hangs.
So that all that means is it'll be like you're on a zoom call with me and Vic.
It's basically the show from the bus or backstage or wherever the hell we are.
Always making content.
And I'm going to take a picture of Vic jumping off Niagara Falls.
You know, in a barrel.
In a barrel.
No barrel.
No barrel.
Yeah.
I have a behind the scenes coming out too.
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
This is a much requested video.
I don't know.
I mean, we can say kind of the deal.
It's basically a rig rundown, a breakdown, a study of what it is that Doug does.
When it comes to the jingles, when it comes to the drops, when it comes to
everything else.
Yeah.
We're going to see.
We're going to get into the nitty gritty.
All right.
And just to quickly say, of course, thank you to everybody that came out.
L.A. was packed last night.
It was a small venue.
Let's be honest.
But Matt, has the band sounded better?
Never sounded better.
The mix was super.
Maybe my favorite show.
It was great.
It was lit.
I mean, how about me remembering all my words?
You didn't have an issue.
For the most 90%.
You had one mess up and then you just looked back and said, oh, you know,
whatever word was.
Yeah.
I felt so at ease.
I could hear myself.
We were incorporating new songs into the set.
Some that you've never heard.
Some from other records that we haven't played live.
And Marron.
It was lit.
That's all I can say.
The crowd was jumping up and down.
If anybody knows who the very kind old man was up front.
Yes, I posted this on my Instagram.
You can watch it.
There was a kindly old gentleman.
Almost looked like that southern gentleman.
I was thinking he looked a little like Pat Robertson in the 80s.
He did look like Pat Robertson.
Yeah.
Red shirt.
You can see it on my Instagram.
If we can find him, I want to extend my gratitude and give him a hat.
You know the words to Hot Piss?
A hat.
He's not afraid to sing them.
No.
So make sure you're logged in to your Ticketmaster account or whatever.
There he is.
Oh, yeah.
Who are you?
Go play that.
He's all by himself.
By the way, he's by himself there.
He's really with a lot of people, though.
I mean, people say I don't have anybody to go to the show with.
I say, look at him.
Oh, keep it going.
Keep it going there.
Watch his mouth.
There he is.
Look at that shimmy.
He's having so much fun.
Yeah.
And so I say, Vic, you know this.
It's like if you don't have somebody to go with, go.
Just go.
You're going to make friends.
Who are you?
So Friday night's in Monterey, and then we're off.
Off and running.
Who the hell are you?
All around.
I showed the kids the route we're doing, and it's just, go do it at home.
Use your Google Maps or Apple Maps or whatever, and look at the route.
Bring up timheidecker.com/live.
You'll see it's a mess.
Are you guys on foot?
No.
We've got e-bikes.
Hell yeah.
All right.
Let's take a call just to welcome the crowd, and then we'll get into it.
We've got Let's Get After It.
That's a great idea.
Daniel needs some advice.
All right, Daniel.
Daniel, my brother, you know I'm going to do it.
You are older than me.
Do you still feel the pain?
Oh, this guy again.
How's it going, guys?
Sorry, Tim.
He's a great caller.
He's a human drop machine.
I just need somebody.
I'm not feeling very droppy today, guys.
What's the matter?
You got lost your painting job because you called your boss the C-word?
Is that what happened last time?
I didn't lose my painting job, idiot.
I've started my own painting company.
Look at this house that I'm painting right now.
Beauty.
Yeah.
What's the advice you need?
I'm just going through a long-term breakup from a long-term relationship.
Aww.
I'm trying to care about this.
Where's the who cares about?
I'm sorry.
How long?
No, that's terrible.
How long was it?
The relationship was five years and the breakup is going on like a month and a
half now.
Okay.
Why is it taking so long?
Because it's a move out breakup and losing the dog.
Cut the dog in half.
That's a good idea.
It's lonely.
It's hard to find a place to live right now in Portland and everywhere.
And I'm going to keep our spot and I'm not in any like-
So you kicked her out?
I'm not going to kick her out.
I'm waiting for her to find a spot and she's having a hard time.
Okay.
Who cheated on who?
I didn't.
Nobody cheated on anybody.
Sorry.
He's so mad at me.
Nobody cheated on the relationship when it's coarse.
Yeah, that's true.
It happens, right?
And it's good that you know it now and not in let's say 20 years from now,
right?
Yes, it's all very amicable and I'm glad that we didn't have any kids or any
marriages.
Yeah.
Well, I'm sorry to hear that, bud.
All I can tell you is, you know, it gets better.
It hurts.
The hurt is real.
The pain is real.
It's not in your brain.
It's physical.
It's in your body.
It's your body reacting to anxiety and stress and it's natural, but it gets
better.
You're my dad.
Yeah, buddy.
Why don't you go see Tim?
Yeah.
Go see Tim.
Stop it.
Promotional time is over, okay?
I'm trying to kill two birds with one stone here.
I want to see if you guys, the Trinity, have any good breakup songs that you
guys enjoy
for some heartbreak.
Yeah, I do actually.
My whole album, What the Broken Hearted Do, is all breakup songs.
This is my favorite.
Shit.
I don't remember that.
I got, this one's my favorite.
Okay.
What about this one?
Hello, Village Idiot.
Jack, Jack, the Idiot Dunce.
Jack, Jack, the Idiot Dunce.
No, you know what?
I appreciate, I knew that you guys would be here for me.
I knew that Tim would give me some good advice, and I know what to do, and it's
just sad.
We're not angry at each other, and we're not, there's no resentment or anger,
and those are
usually powerful feelings, so it's just pure sad.
Yeah.
But it's all, it's all for the best, and it's amicable, and here's to the next
part of my
life.
All right, brother.
You be good.
Okay, brother.
Get back to painting that house.
Don't take in too many fumes.
Put on the Beach Boys, the Beach Boys Today album.
The second half of the Beach Boys Today album is all sad songs, there's some
breakup songs
and stuff.
No, don't listen to sad songs, listen to this.
I want my baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back.
I want my baby back, Chili's, baby back, baby.
Chili's, baby back, baby.
Oh, there he goes.
I want my baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back.
Oh, yeah, baby.
He's got it.
Holy movies.
Thanks, guys.
Love you.
All right.
Wow.
That wasn't beautiful.
I'd watch a whole show of just him doing that.
I would love that.
Coming up with new dances.
Maybe with his shirt off.
I mean, why not?
You could ask.
I won't give him ideas.
Speaking of sad, speaking of music, speaking of sad, speaking of music, Sinead
O'Connor
passed away.
I kind of wasn't paying attention to her too much.
I mean, I didn't get to se