Name: Cut Worms (Episode 268)
Uploaded: 2023-09-21T21:15:10.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Cut Worms (Episode 268)' from Office Hours Live with Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-09-21. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Cut Worms (Episode 268)' from Office Hours Live with Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-09-21. Transcript available.

Cut Worms (Episode 268)

I'm a hairy guy
I like to meet people who can make me laugh
Testing one, two. Hey, good morning!
Good morning, everybody!
Look at that, timed perfectly as the Office Hours Live logo
flies out into space, into place.
It's Tim Heidecker here for another Office Hours Live.
It is, let's take a look, September 21st.
Do you remember, as they say, that annoying song
that I could live without ever hearing again?
Do you remember?
I don't want to ever hear it again.
Good morning, good morning, in a little bit of a drizzle
going on out there in Glendale, California.
Nice, pleasant weather.
We appreciate the cloud cover, we appreciate the moisture.
My name is Tim Heidecker once again.
I am the host, founder of Office Hours Live.
Running strong now for over...
Seven years?
Seven years.
Eight?
DJ, Doug Pound, this banding beast.
Cindy Heidecker.
Good horning!
Good horning to you.
And Victor Berger IV.
I want to give Doug another good horning.
Because I'm feeling very horny this morning.
Oh, no.
Better keep Rosie away.
Just don't fucking banning people from Patreon.
You fuck your dog?
You fuck your dog or not?
Matt, get the lie detector.
I can neither confirm nor deny this.
Producer Matt running the ship.
Failing terribly this week.
Big time.
In a rare, rare fail from that.
Let's just get this out of the way.
We were very excited this week.
We were going to have son of George Harrison, Jerry Harrison.
Yay!
Is that right?
I don't know.
Brother?
Younger brother?
Possibly.
I don't know what the relation is.
Check out Wikipedia.
Get on 23 and get on Ancestry.com, please, now and let me know.
But all week I'm doing my research.
I said, listen, is there, if I was going to name,
if I was going to make a list of most influential groups to me personally,
it would be Pilot, then Stone Temple Pilots, then 21 Pilots.
Is it 21 Pilots?
Twenty-one.
My friend.
Stone Sour.
That's right.
My friend in 21 Pilots.
And Talking Heads.
Talking Heads.
Big media tour of the Talking Heads.
This past couple of weeks as they've released.
Oh, oh, it's mine.
All right.
Moved on from that.
I don't know who created Pokemon Go,
but I'm trying to figure out how we get them to have Pokemon go to the pole.
Okay, thank you.
Hallelujah.
Yes.
All right.
Thank you.
Jerry was slated to zoom in today, and yesterday afternoon we got word that he
would have to postpone. I don't want to get into the details. It seems like a
personal matter. We wish him the--
Ho, ho, ho, ho, it's magic.
It's not magic.
I got to the bottom of it.
It's--
No, we're not talking about that.
Oh, ho, ho, it's magic.
All right.
Sorry, guys.
I think that's young Santa Claus just saying ho, ho, ho.
Just so you understand, before the show we were having a discussion that the
audience wasn't aware of.
Oh, I thought that was on the air.
I forgot.
It's all a big--
It's all the same to me.
It's oh, oh, oh, it's magic, or it's oh, ho, ho, it's magic.
Ho, ho, ho.
And now we know, no, no.
It's magic.
That's what Santa says.
Oh, ho, ho, it's magic.
Yeah.
There's no debate.
Oh, ho, ho, Zampic.
Whenever I hear "Oh, Zampic," I think of-- I don't hear that, because that's
their actual jingle, I think.
Yeah.
But I hear, oh, oh, oh, oh, Zampic.
All right.
Body parts.
Ow!
But anyways, Jerry Harrison had to reschedule.
His team felt real bad.
His team felt real bad.
His team felt real bad.
They assure us they're going to reschedule beyond our control.
But I don't think it needs to be overstated that Talking Heads--
His head won't talk.
It's not the Talking Heads, by the way.
This has been made clear to me.
It's Talking Heads.
Yeah, I get pissed about that.
You want it to be the Talking Heads.
I want it to be the Talking Heads.
Yeah.
Because it's natural to say that, but I get it.
I had a list of questions written.
And I really wanted to get into it with Jerry.
Maybe we will next week.
We'll have to see.
We're working on a make-up date.
Hey, everyone.
I thought Azumer was on.
No, that's Jeremy Renner.
No, that's Jeremy Renner.
Hey, guys.
Hey, guys.
Hey, guys.
It's Jeremy Renner.
But I will promote it anyways.
The great-- I'm going to say it's not the greatest concert film of all time.
That gets thrown around a lot.
Who cares what is?
I would put The Last Waltz maybe up there higher.
But Talking Heads: Stop Making Sense is a fantastic film.
And it's re-released now with remixed audio.
I believe Jerry was kind of in charge of it.
Yeah.
So I want to get into the dynamics of that group.
And this is the thing.
Like, there's a lot of places I could go with that in that interview.
The dynamics.
The split.
The relationships.
And frankly, it's interesting to me, but do I want to put him in that position
to talk about that?
Is he going to want to talk about that?
You know?
Like, who am I?
What am I?
A guy from-- what am I, Mike Wallace?
On poor Jerry Harrison.
But I do have thought-- I mean, I do have thoughts and feelings about it that
you might find interesting as a viewer of the show.
Where-- what that dynamic could be, why it didn't work ultimately.
But the music remains and I spent-- the music remains in light.
The song remains the same.
Get it, Tim.
Oh, in light.
I get it.
I get it.
I went down a-- I went-- I was listening to-- you know what I did, Vic?
No, I don't.
I went back.
I went backwards.
Oh.
So I started listening to "Naked," which is great.
Okay.
What's that, '88?
Is that the one with the monkey on the cover?
Yeah, monkey on the cover.
A lot of Brazilian, a lot of horns, a lot of salsa influences going there.
I started working back.
I mean, it's all great, man.
Those guys were the best.
Up All Night.
That's a good song.
About his kid.
I wouldn't let him sleep.
And then I'm listening to "Remain in Light."
That's a weird, scary record.
Scary music.
Scary.
Yeah, there's a lot of scariness to it.
A lot of anxiety and tension.
Well, we got "Psycho Killer."
We got, you know, "Taking Me to the River."
It's a lot of scary stuff.
They're the number one Halloween, "Fuck Alice Cooper."
Oh, it produced an overwhelming sense of impending doom.
Yes.
Well, we do have another guest to talk about.
Well, first of all, "Cut Worms" is going to be up on the show towards the end
of the first half.
I'm the man in the box.
And "Cut Worms," I'm telling you guys, you're going to love this.
If you don't know "Cut Worms," you're going to love this group.
I love their last record.
If you like good music, this is what I call a "Put It On" record.
You put on that "Cut Worms," any of his records, but you put on that "Cut Worms"
record,
whatever the last one's called, who knows what it's called.
I'm going to find out.
I love records.
"Cut Worms," "Cut Worms," last record is called "Nobody Lives Here Anymore."
From 2020, the year of the pandemic, the year everything stopped.
That is a "Put It On" record.
You can listen to the whole damn thing and put it on repeat.
You'll listen to it all day.
One thing to promote.
It's a "Put On."
I have one thing to promote.
It's a "Put On."
First of all, patreon.com/officehourslive.
That is humming right now.
People couldn't be happier with--
So put on!
Put on!
I was waiting for that.
I forgot what it was.
Put on.
So join patreon.com/officehourslive.
I posted a very well written, a beautiful post about the Russell Brand scandal
on Sunday.
Emergency post.
You want to hear my thoughts on the lecherous, depraved con man that is Russell
Brand.
And I'll talk a little bit about that on the show later, too.
What a mess!
Because it's a whole thing now.
It's a whole--
You know, some people say, "Well, who cares about Russell Brand anymore?
No one's even paying attention to him."
But it was the reaction to the news by these worms.
Not the cutworms!
Wow!
Musk and Peterson and Ben Shapiro and everybody.
Right away!
This is a conspiracy to silence the truth teller.
Right away, they came marching in with their orders.
So we can talk about that.
Do you think he's like connected actually with them?
Like he's like coordinating?
Yeah, they're now like--
Well, I don't know if he's coordinating.
Like PR?
There's no coordinating, by the way.
No.
I don't know if you know how the world works,
but nobody's talking to anybody.
It's a mess.
It's chaos, as Patton Oswald says.
So be kind.
But Ben Shapiro started off saying--
Russell Brand?
Russell--
How do I do it?
Now, Russell Brand is a personal friend of mine.
Hello, everybody.
My name is Ben, and I'm actually really smart.
He's a personal friend.
And I can't account for what he did 12, 13 years ago.
Slay queen.
Slay queen.
What?
That's not the man I know.
Spit in my mouth.
There's some whores in this house.
Tim Pools all over.
Tim Pools declared that it is officially a conspiracy that is proven.
And it's a big mess.
This P word is wet.
Come take a dive.
Don't read the articles.
Hello, everybody.
My name is Ben, and I'm actually--
Folks have to stick together.
Visit patreon.com/officehourslive.
Oh, thanks, Ben.
Well, I appreciate that plug.
But no, seriously, about plugs, I got some plugs.
Do you notice?
Looking good.
These are coming in nice.
Tight.
Thick.
Strong.
Painful.
Well, come on!
This Sunday at the Elysian Theater, I'm returning to the stage with Neil Hamburger.
And Megan Keister's on the bill.
That's going to be spicy.
See, I bet she has things to say about the state of comedy right now.
So get on down to the Elysian Theater.
Can I plug something when you're done?
Real quick.
Let's save it for the second half, Doug.
Mr. T!
Let's get that plug behind the paywall, please.
Yes, Doug, quickly.
A week from tonight, I'll be in San Diego with Brett Weinbach at the Soda Bar.
The Soda Bar?
I need all those San Diego folks and the Orange County folks and anyone from
around the world.
Fly in next week, next Thursday.
If you like your waffles just a little gritty, get it.
Get down to San Diego.
Okay.
Funny stuff.
Matt, can I take a Zoomer?
Let's just check in with the game.
Yeah, we got a good feeling about this one.
I can't be in a good sign.
Bo Weiss.
Bo Weiss.
Bo Weiss.
Good day, everyone.
Bo Weiss.
Hey, Bo.
How are you?
Keeping the sun out of your eyes or your back?
You're psychedelic.
Doing well.
Keeping the rain out of my hair.
Okay.
Tim, I have a question about the tour.
I was wondering if you ever got the chance to see Vic naked and what is he
working with?
No, I haven't seen any of Vic's body parts.
I've never seen Vic without a shirt.
Vic doesn't go in the pool.
I'm not a hot subject.
Sometimes I go in.
I'm not a naked guy.
I'm not a nudity guy.
I didn't see you at all.
I think I went in the pool once maybe.
This tour?
Yeah.
I think so.
I think, no.
I'd like evidence.
I'm not lying.
I'm not making it up.
I think you're just misremembering the tour.
Yeah, I'm not much of a water guy.
I was even thinking like, oh, I like going in lakes because I hate oceans and
shit.
But then I'm like reading about different organisms that live in like fresh
water and like.
Bacteria.
Oh, the brain eating bacteria.
Yeah, like shit like that.
Like I just stay out of water.
It's just like showers.
That's that.
I don't need, I don't need to swim.
So there's your answer.
But I, yeah, I think maybe I did go in the pool once.
Where?
I mean, cause I can remember going in the pool twice.
I definitely like remember hanging up my swim trunks a few times.
Oh.
That's the only reason I remember.
Interesting.
But I could be, you may be right.
You probably have a better track on my nudity level.
But no, good question.
Thanks, man.
What were you hoping for?
What did you want to hear?
Yeah, like what did you want to hear?
What is your ultimate answer?
You want to know?
It's big.
I mean, I have to assume.
Send me an email.
Just the Howard Stern Show talking about my co-workers' private parts.
People on the right, by the way.
Yeah, I'm just curious.
People on the right very upset with Howard Stern every week.
I have a boner.
They get all uptight because now he's, he went on a fun little rant the other
day
saying how he's.
Out of all of your celebrities.
Whoops.
Saying he'