Name: Halloween Spooktacular with Open Mike Eagle! (Episode 273)
Uploaded: 2023-10-25T21:45:10.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Halloween Spooktacular with Open Mike Eagle! (Episode 273)' from Office Hours Live with Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-10-25. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Halloween Spooktacular with Open Mike Eagle! (Episode 273)' from Office Hours Live with Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-10-25. Transcript available.

Halloween Spooktacular with Open Mike Eagle! (Episode 273)

I like having fun, I like you to laugh, I like to be me for you to make me
laugh, I like having fun, yes I like you to laugh, I like having fun with me,
wow.
Good, bad morning, bad morning, bad morning everybody, it's me, good morning,
good morning, it's me, uh, oh no, oh no, oh no, here we go.
It's the Halloween spooktacular episode of Office Hours, I'm your host Edgar
Winter, Mr. Frankenstein himself, noted speech impediment man, Edgar Winter
here with me in the studio is Mr. Dork.
Doug, when are you going to put your mask on?
Good morning.
Oh cute.
Oh, you gotta be kidding me, that was going to be the same thing I was going to
say.
Oh, let's do, let's hear yours.
Good morning boys and ghouls, good morning with a U. I hope your Halloween is a
howling good time.
We have something written down?
Yeah, hold on.
But I said good morning and then I played people morning.
Oh, um, hold on.
I can't just say that without the audio cue.
Man, alright, I blew it.
Victor Berger IV is back there decomposing.
Have a howling good time.
What do you got in your face there, dog shit?
I got vomit.
Oh, you puked.
A lot of vomit and I just didn't clean it up.
Clean it off my shirt and my clothing but not my chin.
Well, it's easy to clean that up, just get a rag or a towel or something, wash
your face.
Maybe at the break.
Alright.
And coming in from, I want to say, I want to make a, Vic, you have to help me
here, make
a Police Academy 2 reference.
Oh yeah.
Is Matt coming to us from the Blue Oyster Club?
Remember that?
Yeah, yeah, sure.
Not specifically, but could be.
I like that.
I'll take it.
Good morning.
Exciting, good to see you, happy Halloween.
I masturbate a lot.
Is it funny that, I mean, because you have in that movie, whatever that movie
is from,
1980 something, 84?
Probably 86.
86.
You have the Blue Oyster Club.
Is that the name of the club in the movie?
Yeah, I believe so.
I think it's just called the Blue Oyster.
Well, it was a club.
The Blue Oyster Bar.
It was a gay club.
And then, only years later, do you have the Blue Oyster Cult.
Oh yeah.
Rob Halford.
Wait.
Coming out of the closet.
No, not Rob Halford.
No, no, no.
He's Judas Priest.
Oh, I'm confusing everything.
I'm sorry.
I always confuse Judas Priest and the Blue Oyster Cult.
Why?
They have that iconic song.
Don't Fear the Reaper.
So, all right.
I got my signals crossed.
I apologize to the gay community.
So, who are they?
Who are the members of the Blue Oyster Cult?
That's that song, of course.
But there's no gay men in that band that we know about?
I believe they're unrelated, those two subjects.
Copy that.
All right, moving on.
I'm doing my best to fix some issues that were happening last week, which was
sort of this
what?
I know, I'm just looking at you.
It's hard to look at you.
Oh, really?
No, I love it.
No, it's great.
It's great.
It's worth it.
I kind of want to see what the eyes look like.
Can I get to just peek at them?
Oh.
Behind the shades?
Oh, my.
I'm not amused by any of this, by the way.
I don't know if you know this about me, but I'm not really a Halloween guy.
I'm doing my best to have a good attitude, but it's all month.
I mean, it starts like middle, it's like day after Labor Day, my kids start
going wacky
for Halloween.
So does Target, by the way.
And I'm not a fan of the holiday.
Sorry.
As you know, I spend a lot of my time using costumes and characters and makeup
to express
myself and to use those tools in the creation of art.
So Halloween is like amateur hour.
Exactly.
This is like the bridge and tunnel crowd come out to do pretend.
Stay out of my lane.
This is my domain.
And these people dressing up, now that Hollywood's saying you can't dress up as
certain characters
from movies.
Come on, dude.
And everybody with their Halloween decorations, like at this place.
It's tired, man.
It's tired.
But I'm going to put on my best attitude.
I'm sick and tired of hearing things.
What was that, John?
I'm sick and tired of hearing things.
I'm like Lennon.
But what I was getting at, Doug, is first of all, welcome to the show,
everybody.
And people want to know the weather here in Glendale.
That's why they tune in.
And it's sprinkling out there.
We're getting a little rare rain.
Nice respite from the heat.
It's been a nice cool week.
But I'm trying to correct some of the mistakes we made last week, which is a
lot of times the
show starts and there's this freewheeling chaos happening.
And there's a guest in the studio, but I don't acknowledge the guest, but it's
awkward for us.
It's awkward for the guest because they haven't been prepped.
Nobody tells them.
On our side, nobody tells them anything.
There's no respect given to them.
I find myself apologizing for things that I have no responsibility for and no
control over because
there's only so much that I can do.
I hope this is amusing.
I'm amused myself.
And I'm so sorry.
This is really good.
So I'm not acknowledging the guest until the proper introduction happens, which
will begin now.
Tim Apple.
Is there a lot of frequency going, a lot of distortion in the frequency fields
today?
Doug, that was a question for you.
I don't know what you mean by that.
Is there a lot of distortion in the frequency fields today?
Yes, sir.
Have your way, have your way, have your way, have your way.
Is there a lot of, Vic, is there a lot of distortion in the frequency fields
today?
Are we talking just in life in general?
I'm hearing a lot of, yes, in general.
In general, things are vibrating, dude.
Thank you.
Vibrating, dude.
You only communicate in, uh, in drop references.
Yeah.
Um, all right.
I'm hearing it on your mic.
I hear what you're saying.
Luke, what do you think?
It's like the gate opening or something.
Jamming on the one.
I'm here to do it.
Power through.
Power through.
Oh, maybe it's that.
Well, I'd like to introduce our guest for the show, but I can't because a
little bit of the
excitement of the show today is going to be the mystery of it all.
So I think now, yeah, it's very, it's, it's hard for me to ignore what's
happening with
the, with the sound in my ear.
I have to admit, I don't think it's mask related, uh, but now it's suddenly
cleared up.
Well, it's not drop, oh, it's just the drops.
Is it that now?
Oh, boy.
Are you kidding?
Are my batteries dying?
They sure are.
I'm talking my internal batteries in my life.
Oh, my God.
No, it's pretty full.
Pretty full.
I need a new battery, everybody.
I need a reset.
I'm bound to suck your blood.
I need a reset.
Matt.
I need a human reset.
Matt.
All right, let's start over.
Oh, my God.
I'm just trying to get weird and trying to get creepy and uncomfortable.
I mean, that's what the holidays are about.
All right, let's do it.
My guest today is a mystery guest.
I love you.
Welcome to the show, mystery guest.
Okay, yes, we can go over the, we can make some rules here.
We can, uh, you can speak.
Good.
I feel very respected, actually.
Extremely.
I generate respect from inside of myself.
Oh, this is interesting because now you're doing a voice.
Yes, it's going to make it more difficult for anyone to figure out my true
identity.
Well, this is going to be tricky.
Let's take a zoomer right away, Matt, and see if somebody can identify our
mystery guest.
I hope it's not anybody I told.
Anybody have a guess in there?
Audrey?
Uh, Lareld?
Lareld, do you have a guess?
This is not my real hair.
Audrey?
I don't know if my hair is even...
Oh, there could be layers and levels to the disguise.
Right.
This could be blackface on my...
Easy.
I would not allow...
Hey, I would not allow that on my show.
I'm glad to know that.
We have a policy for that.
We have strict policies for that.
As much to Vic's disappointment and disapproval.
Right.
Always around Halloween, we can never do blackface.
Vic is dying to do blackface on this show, and I say no.
That's right.
Does he only ask on Halloween?
No, no.
If I told you the holidays he asks to do it on, you'd be shocked.
Juneteenth?
I'm not saying, but...
Yeah, Audrey, do you have a guess?
Is it T-Pain?
Yes.
Boiled again.
I'm worried the direction this guessing is going to go.
What's going on there?
Are you dressed up?
A little bit.
This is half of my costume.
Okay.
Are you dressing up for us?
No, no.
This is my actual Halloween costume.
So the other half is my partner, who is going to be Seymour.
Seymour from Little Shop of Horrors.
Oh, that's awesome.
Little Shop.
Little Shop of Horrors.
That's cool.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What's that workshop you got there?
Seymour.
Yeah, so this is my synth workshop.
This is where I repair instruments and such.
Cool.
Very cool.
Yeah.
Where are you at?
Working on an Omnicord right now.
Oh, I had one of those.
I threw it out because it wasn't working.
Mystery Guest, you familiar with that synth?
Uh, yes.
That's a good hint.
I haven't seen it.
This is a...
Interesting.
We're getting some clothes.
Why don't you ask some questions, Rodri?
Yeah, Rodri, see if we can get to the bottom of this.
Okay.
Um, hmm.
Would anybody be interested in me live streaming repairs of instruments?
What?
Your answer?
No.
All right, moving along.
Oh, I'm supposed to guess?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, never mind.
Yeah, I mean, I was going to say, like, let's do 20 questions or make it two
questions.
Oh, okay.
Okay.
Um, are you a rock musician?
Absolutely not.
No.
Okay.
What's the opposite of rock?
Next question.
Well, what did, not opposite of rock, but what did, in the 90s, rock and this
genre collaborated
on a very popular soundtrack?
To a film.
What film?
I want to say, that's giving too much, but I'll give it away.
It's, what is it, Judgment Night?
Judgment?
Do you know what I'm talking about?
I don't know.
I thought it was Nightmare on Elm Street Part 4.
No, no.
Judgment Night soundtrack.
Judgment Night soundtrack fused to what people thought, well, not so much
because you had
things like Run DMC and Aerosmith, but this was a true fusion of genres to
create a real
special album.
Real, real benchmark album.
Am I supposed to guess the album?
No, I'm supposed to guess the genre of music my guest creates.
Rap is the genre, right?
Rap is the genre.
Yes.
Okay.
Have you released an album this year?
Sure.
Yes.
Now, we are slightly worried about our special guest getting self-poisoned from
carbon monoxide.
I am dying slowly.
This is true.
We might reveal the guest sooner than later, but we'll get one more guest, one
more Zoomer
to guess on our guest, on our mystery guest.
By the way, I gave away the mystery guest during the Instagram live portion of
the pre-show,
so if you're paying attention to that, you might be in.
We have a hand raised, Matt.
Bip-bop.
Taylor.
Taylor.
Oh, where'd you go, Taylor?
Hey, everyone.
I have COVID.
I'm sorry.
Oh, you're going to give it to us?
Yeah.
Don't go off on me.
Is that Denzel Curry?
Wrong.
Wrong.
No.
Wrong.
It's a good guest, though.
I'm glad you know who that is.
All right.
Oh, I think Audrey has it.
Wait, no.
Audrey?
No, Chase.
Who has it?
Chase has it.
Chase, of course, has it because Chase, were you?
I'm going to ask Chase a question.
Chase, get in here, you son of a bitch.
I'm in here.
Chase, were you watching the Instagram live?
I was.
Okay, so as your guest.
I'm not sure I know the answer.
That's how you know the answer.
Well, you know what?
Yep.
However you win, you win.
Whatever the.
You want to play dirty pool?
Go ahead.
You want to feel good about yourself today?
That's not going to happen.
Open.
Say it again.
Open, Mike Eagle.
Open, Mike Eagle.
You can breathe.
Oh, God.
Thank you.
Well, oh, that did not look fun.
Oh, yeah.
I was huffing my own exhaust for quite some time there.
Do you think you emit healthy gases?
I don't think if they were healthy, they'd want to stay inside me.
That's right.
That's a good point.
Yeah, they're trying to get out for a reason.
That's why we don't eat our own shit.
Well, Vic over there looks like he's been going to town.
Vic, I got a report from your wife.
Oh, no.
That you defecate in a litter box at home.
Well, yeah.
Is that true?
It was just 