Name: Gary Gulman, Fat Tony, Tribute to Henry Kissinger (Episode 277)
Uploaded: 2023-11-30T22:45:39.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Gary Gulman, Fat Tony, Tribute to Henry Kissinger (Episode 277)' from Office Hours Live with Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-11-30. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Gary Gulman, Fat Tony, Tribute to Henry Kissinger (Episode 277)' from Office Hours Live with Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-11-30. Transcript available.

Gary Gulman, Fat Tony, Tribute to Henry Kissinger (Episode 277)

Hi, everybody.
We're starting the show on a somber note today because late last night we
learned the tragic news that Henry Kissinger passed away.
This obviously came as a tremendous shock to us all, and I just want to say
that today we are going to remember this great patriot as an exemplary hero in
American history.
We send all our love and prayers to Henry's family and can rest easy knowing
that the great Dr. Kissinger is sitting comfortably at the hand of God.
As you know, Henry loved animals more than he loved human beings, so we're
asking if you're able to, please consider donating a horse or any large farm
animal to the Henry A. Kissinger Foundation at 387 Fifth Avenue, PMB 7, New
York, New York, 10019.
We love you, Henry.
Tough day.
We're going to get back.
We're going to just try to have a fun show today, and we'll be back in a minute.
Have fun.
See you soon.
I like having fun.
I like to laugh.
I like to meet people who can make me laugh.
I like having fun.
Yes, I like to laugh.
I like having fun to meet people who laugh.
Good morning, everybody.
We are live, and it is Thursday, November 30th.
Matt, confirm.
Last day of the month?
Last day of the month.
Last day of the month.
Wow.
What an exciting day it is.
We are dressed to the nines to remember old Hank.
Should I keep it tight?
Should I keep her tight?
Of course.
I'm keeping mine up.
I'm feeling good today.
Nice and tight.
We're tight.
No.
Of course.
What's the classic, not Hilton John, Elvis Costello's song, Tramp the Dirt Down.
We dance on the grave of Henry Kissinger, of course.
Get your boners ready.
Who's coming in?
Nobody.
You've got, oh, hey, look who it is.
No, please, Gary, I was going to announce our guest.
Why don't we do this right?
Why don't you leave?
Don't sit down.
Don't, do not sit down.
No.
Stand by.
I'm going to do this like an actual talk show.
Here we go.
Ladies and gentlemen.
Ladies and gentlemen, I want to welcome to the show our guest today.
He's, he's arriving seven, six minutes late.
Mr. The Grunt of the Great Comedians of our time.
Not dressed up at all.
Sloppy, we call him, on this show, we call him Sloppy Gary.
Sloppy Gary Gullman.
Goleman.
Goleman.
Goleman.
And I'm so grateful that you had me on.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
We don't have you even mic'd up yet.
Stand by.
And we're not even interviewing you yet.
Good horning.
Good horning, Gary.
Good horning.
Good horning to you.
We've never met.
This is a little weird way to meet.
It's a pleasure, but I'm very familiar with who I am.
I'm very familiar with your work, and your special was, my gosh, the YouTube.
Are you serious?
Yes, because I love comedy that makes fun of stand-up.
Yes, because it didn't hurt your feelings.
No.
Should it have?
Well, I wasn't really.
I think it's directed towards hacking.
Other people, yes.
You happen to be a good one.
Oh, thank you.
You're a terrific comedian.
Let me tell you something.
Thank you.
And I appreciate that more than.
Yeah, I'm sorry, I just want to verify he's been raving about you.
Well, let me say, this is Vic Berger and Doug Lussenhop.
Hi, Doug.
So nice to meet you guys.
Thanks for having me on and accommodating me.
And I switched my flight so that I could be on.
That is very sweet.
So I really appreciate it.
Was it a harder flight for you?
Marginally.
I just have to go at 6.10 instead of 9.30 a.m.
So I'll go at 6.10 p.m. to Houston.
Oh, my God.
That's not too bad.
That sucks.
No.
I have bad news for you.
It's worth it.
I've got to take a flight this weekend.
We're going to get right into this.
Yeah.
I've got to get to Cincinnati.
Oh, no.
Okay.
So how do you think I'm going to do that?
Are you going to be able to get a direct flight?
That's not direct.
No way.
Well, here's my option.
I can get a direct at like 6 in the morning.
Oh, not worth it.
It kind of ruins everything.
Yes.
Or I've got to go through Denver.
Go through Denver.
It's fine.
Yeah.
Get off the plane.
Stretch the legs.
And also, I should have checked to see if we were still going to do this,
because of the untimely death of Henry Kissinger.
We decided, you know what?
The world needs laughter.
When they go so young.
Did you?
Well, this is, do you know why we're dressed like, this is why we're dressed
like this.
Oh.
We're, we're, we did a, we should do a, we should do a replay.
I saw the video.
Oh, you did?
I saw the video.
Yes.
Okay, good, good.
I was, I was waiting.
Okay, good, okay.
I was, I, it's so funny.
I loved it.
And, and, uh, but thank you.
We're soldiering on despite the fact that we lost.
Yeah.
I don't know how we're going to get through it.
One of the great, um, human.
Humanitarians.
I was going to say, uh, crimes against humanitarians.
Injured.
It's so funny how old he got.
And just how, I mean, it's, listen, should we be making fun of people?
Should we be?
War criminals?
Should we be making fun of the way people look?
Carpet bombers?
Yeah.
Yes, we should.
Yes.
Of course we should.
But he did turn into this weird turtle that looked, like his, his life, quality
of life
could not have been terrific towards the end there.
But if you're, if you're, if your body turns into that.
Yeah.
It must be like every moment is like, ah, why, why am I like this?
Is it, is it a trade-off with the, with the tortoise community where they live
so long?
And then we're like, yes, you can, you can live as long as us, but you also
have to,
has to look like us.
Oh dear.
You're quick.
Oh, I don't, actually I'm not.
Usually I have to write it down months in advance.
So what are you doing in town?
Ah, promoting a special that's coming out on December 21st on Max.
And then I wrote a, a, a memoir of my life from kindergarten through 12th grade.
Misfit.
Yes.
And is it your first or because?
My first book.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, I saw you on, the reason I actually, I knew who you were and I knew your
material,
I knew, uh, you know, I'd seen you on Conan and stuff and I, I was like, oh,
this guy's
fucking, this guy's one of the good ones.
Oh, thanks man.
But then I didn't really know you and I didn't like know your, what, I, we, we,
we, we, I
want to talk about comedy tribes, like what tribe you're in.
Oh yeah.
Of, in the comedy world.
Yeah.
Um, cause I'm not even sure, but, um, and I don't care who you, who you, what
tribe you're
in, but, um, besides you are Jewish.
I mean, that's a different, I'm not talking about that.
I'm talking about like, I think I'm in the tribe of Todd Glass type.
Very nice.
That's, that's an esteemed.
People who revere, who revere comedy and are outraged by the bad comedy.
Okay.
Yeah.
And then I want to sort of gauge how bad, how close, how, how open we want to
get about
the bad stand.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
You don't care.
No, I don't care.
You're, you're sitting on top of the mountain.
I don't feel that I'm sitting on the top of the mountain, but I, I'm, uh, if I
could have
this, this level, so by the way, these guys are going to be, that's what's
happening in
your life.
I'd be cutting you off.
If I could stay at this, whatever level on the mountain I am, more of the same,
please.
You're, you're on a, you're on, I, I feel very good about selling a few hundred
seats
in a number of different cities.
You're on firm footing.
Yes.
Yes.
Finally.
You're kind of in that, 30 years in.
You're kind of in a Conan world.
Oh yes.
Yes.
He's producing my special.
So that's, yes.
You're not, are you in a Theo Vaughn world?
No.
Okay.
No, no.
Now I, this, can I show this?
This killed me today.
I just saw this today.
You'll love this.
Um, Matt, do you know what I'm talking about?
You're so quick, Matt.
Matt's our producer.
He's so quick.
Hi, Matt.
I saw, if you could show the first thing I sent, then the second thing I sent,
I guess,
um, uh, and I don't really have an opinion on this guy so much, but Tosh,
Daniel Tosh is
back.
Oh.
He's launching.
Is he still gorgeous?
He's a very handsome guy.
He's a very handsome man.
So he's back with a, um, like a podcast TV show.
Oh, look how small that is.
Oh, I'm sure.
Yeah.
Zoom.
Sorry.
It was like a screen.
There's Henry.
Anyways, it says, um, it's basically like Tosh, Tosh show.
My wife's gynecologist.
By the way, 1.7 million views.
Big.
It's people missed him.
Wow.
But guess who's the first, the top comment on YouTube is from the Ovan.
It says, the king is back.
The king is back.
They're so supportive of each other.
It's really nice to see the thing.
Imagine thinking that Daniel Tosh is the king.
Is the king.
Oy.
Oy.
But it's a small K in king.
That's right.
A king is back.
A king.
Yeah.
There he is.
There's the king.
There's Henry.
My word.
Better sunglasses than I've ever owned.
Those are actually pretty stylish.
Wait a minute.
You know what?
I just have to say something.
We just, we're freewheeling today.
We didn't even start the show.
I didn't say good morning to Doug.
Oh, good horning.
I forgot to say.
That's okay.
And Vic, you're here too.
Good horning.
What's up, everybody?
And we're back from Thanksgiving.
I should ask you, how was your Thanksgiving?
My Thanksgiving was excellent.
It was just my wife and I went out to a vegan restaurant for Thanksgiving.
And then we went to the movies.
Do you have friends or anybody?
Do you have anybody in your life but your wife?
No, we do have friends and I have family.
But this year I decided that I didn't want to make the five-hour trip to
Massachusetts where I grew up.
Right.
Five hours each way.
So I said, let's just stay in town.
Because I had to come out to LA to do this promotion right after Thanksgiving.
And it was actually delightful.
We enjoy each other's company.
Well, that's nice.
How long have you been married for?
We've been married since October 7th of 2020.
Okay.
So that will wane.
Thanks for having me.
That's a classic.
That's like, I mean, now I'm doing my Carson.
But you guys went through the pandemic together, right?
You guys went through the pandemic together very early on in the relationship.
Yes.
We got married in the pandemic.
Because of the pandemic.
Yeah.
We had like six people at our wedding.
This does not sound like a popular guy.
I'm getting a lot of...
Which was more than we wanted, really.
Yeah.
I mean, we like to keep it...
Did you go down to the Justice of the Peace and do the whole thing like that?
We had a Justice of the Peace over Zoom and two of my best friends as witnesses
and her sister-in-law, my sister-in-law, and then my friend Adrienne, who's a
writer, and her husband.
Okay.
We have videos of this?
Do we have...
Yes.
You were in the same room with her.
There are videos.
Okay.
Not a different Zoom call.
And, you know, the show is live, and we have people watching.
We have people on Zoom calling in.
I always like to just start the show by welcoming a Zoomer to the show and say,
is anybody there, Matt, that wants to say good morning to us?
Or does anybody want to say hi to Gary or have questions for Gary?
By the way...
Somebody said I'm very sensitive.
So if anybody says any bad things, just don't share it with me.
Please.
It's a lovely community.
But I do want to say something that's kind of cool is Doug's dad's name's Gary.
Oh, okay.
Oh, yeah.
True, true.
And my middle name.
That's why it's...
Yeah, we're disappearing.
Gary.
I think it's a weird move to name a child Gary.
In 1970, it probably wasn't that weird.
Little Gary.
It was very popular.
What's your name?
Because it makes sense as a man.
Yeah.
It's a good, you know, adult name.
But as a baby and a toddler, it feels like little.
Gary is weird.
Yeah, it is weird because it's a middle-aged name at the youngest now.
Yeah.
It's not an elderly man.
And it's not short for anything that we know of.
No.
I mean, some Garys are potentially Garrisons or Garrets, but I've never met one.
No.
Who's joining us, Matt?
It's actually short for Gary with two R's.
That just came to me.
I thought that might be funny if I had done it off the cuff.
What if it's, you spelled G-A-R-R-I-E, like Gary.
We're having a lot of fun.
Already.
The kidding around is putting me at