Name: MJ Lenderman & Wednesday, Rachel Kaly, Eliana Athayde (Episode 278)
Uploaded: 2023-12-07T22:26:09.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'MJ Lenderman & Wednesday, Rachel Kaly, Eliana Athayde (Episode 278)' from Office Hours Live with Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-12-07. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'MJ Lenderman & Wednesday, Rachel Kaly, Eliana Athayde (Episode 278)' from Office Hours Live with Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-12-07. Transcript available.

MJ Lenderman & Wednesday, Rachel Kaly, Eliana Athayde (Episode 278)

Hello, baby!
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Big flying bill all over the trailer bar
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Where I buried my heart
We do the best with what we've done
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My voice is a little horse
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My voice is a little horse
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Welcome to life. Life is a series of curveballs Mr. Carlin you should know that
by now. You should trust your team. Shame on you. You should trust your team.
They know what they're doing. I don't trust anybody in this rotten world. I am
so happy that we started the show that way. What a beautiful song. And by the
way you don't see the tonight show doing this. You don't see the SNL do. Nobody
makes these kinds of moves. Nobody trusts their audience more than I.
We're going to mix things up. Every show is different. People are going to be
talking. They're going to be walking down the street today. I don't know where
you are. You're in Cincinnati. You're going to be standing at the corner.
Somebody's going to catch office hours this morning. That was different. They
started the whole damn show with a song. And who the hell are you? Where the
hell did you come from? No. Much respect to you. Much respect to you. Thank you
so much. Rachel Colley. That means a lot.
Rachel Colley is here. One of the great new voices in comedy that we love and
respect.
That means, yeah, I love to hear that type of stuff. You bet. You deserve it.
Yeah. But my audience already knows you. But some of you who don't are going to
be wowed.
I pray. I pray for them. Doug is not here. He did pass on this one. Oh, no.
Vic is, though. For some reason, the gods have chosen Vic to continue on. What
cruel fate we've been handed. What? These cards I've been handed by our dealer,
the Lord.
Can I do my hello intro?
Yes.
Merry Christmas.
I've got hairy legs.
That's it.
And in our musical director, we have a musical director today. We can recognize
her laugh. Long time fans of the show.
We can recognize our own Paula. We should call her Paula Schaefer.
Paula, shave her.
I know. I want to see no hair.
It would be fun if your name was Paula.
Me?
Yeah.
Yeah, I'll take it.
Paula, shave her.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But no, we have Eliana Atheid on the bass. Only on the bass.
Put your coffee down and play some music.
This is so awkward.
Give me a little dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump.
Hey-oh.
That's exactly what you said.
So I want you to do some, you know, because we don't have Doug here. We don't
have that side of the sound effect world.
We only have Vic. And what happens when it's only Vic?
Yeah.
I get anxious and then it gets quiet.
What happens? Well, you freeze up a little bit.
I can do Foley.
Actually, did you know that I used to play in the house band for a Mexican late
night talk show?
I do know this.
Noches con platanitos.
And one of the things that their music director would do is he would look at me
and go, ship, ship, ship, ship.
What does that mean?
Like a ship.
It means...
Oh!
Like, just constantly.
So that's my only move.
What does that have to do with the ship?
Like going down?
Like a ship go down.
I don't know.
All right.
So if somebody said something particularly funny or rude, you're going to
accent it with...
Is that a...
Are we getting enough of that?
Is there enough body in that bass?
Wow, Tim.
Upper mids, I think he needs a little more.
What do you think, Luke?
Let's check in with our sound department.
I liked that bit you guys did that was like, guess the bass line.
What do I think?
I think we need a little more to punch us in the face, right?
Okay.
That's a barracuda.
Yes, we...
Oh, damn it!
Stepping all...
Stepping all over everything.
And...
But let me just introduce our musical guests as well, who are just going to be
sitting in with us because they're delightful.
And I'm a fan and I'm happy to have them here is we have Carly from the...
And your group is Wednesday.
Yeah.
Yeah, Jake's in that group too.
And Jake's in that group.
And MJ Lenderman is here.
Yeah.
And we got you both.
You got us both.
Two for the price of one.
There, see?
Ellie, you should have been on that.
That's the Hendrix chord.
Oh, we should play that horrible, that guy doing the Hendrix song on the clav...
On the clav...
Oh, no.
You know what I'm talking about?
I don't think so.
Yes, you hated it.
It was this musician who's...
Oh, yes, yes.
Who's got the whammy pedal on a clav...
On a clav...
Clavichord?
Yeah, and he's using his arm.
It's the most obnoxious thing ever.
That sounds great.
And he like...
He piled like his family into this like warehouse and just like forced to watch
it.
Not good.
I did a show with Rachel, what was it, a month or so ago?
A couple months ago?
You graciously asked me to come on.
And boy, was...
You've got this...
Well, I just want to say it was one of the most uncomfortable shows I've ever
seen.
Yeah, it's devastating.
It's totally devastating.
But also very funny.
But we can't even talk about it.
I don't think...
Can you give me like the top line?
The top line is that my life has been hell and, you know, you should...
We should all talk about how that has happened to me.
You seem to have the worst life.
I have a bad life.
Definitely a bad...
But it's not bad now.
Well, it depends on the day.
Like mentally, am I in a good place?
Yeah.
No?
Oh.
But who is?
I'm not.
There we go.
Vic is definitely not.
What's wrong?
Definitely not.
How long do we have?
How long is the show?
Two hours?
We don't have that kind of time today.
Oh, my bad.
There's a lot.
I'm new here, sorry.
But you have...
Anxiety and depression.
Your family situation was extraordinarily strange.
Yes.
Very strange.
Well, this show...
Because what I saw was what they call a work in progress.
You're testing these things out.
You're trying these things out.
Where is the path for that?
Is this going to become something that everyone can see?
Well, my hope is to get some sort of a run of it somewhere.
I said, maybe I'll go to the Fringe Festival.
Yes, you have to.
I'd love to.
Maybe I'll do Broadway.
I'd love to share a stage near Hamilton or something like that.
Yeah.
You know?
What's the name of it?
Hospital Hours.
Hospital Hours, because you spent a lot of time in the hospital.
A lot of time in the hospital.
And what's crazy about that show, and what's crazy about today, for me,
is how young everybody is in this fucking room.
I mean, you're not that much older than me, though, really.
Well, you...
I'm not talking to you.
And Matt, you're about my age, Matt.
Yeah, we're the old dogs here.
We're the old sickos, these creeps, these old bastards.
But so your show is, like, you were...
How old were you when 9-11 happened?
Six.
You had nothing to do with it?
Well, I don't know.
I don't have many memories from that day or leading up to it, so that's
possible.
But you lived down there.
I went to school down there, so I was right there.
You were there at school when the planes hit the tower.
I was looking out the window.
I know.
You were really...
Well, you were looking at the window not before it happened.
I was sharpening my...
You were studying.
Yeah, I was looking for where they could go in the best.
I was sharpening...
I was sharpening my pencil.
You remember that?
I was like, yep, I was in the wood shop.
We were taking wood class, which is...
Is it a six-year-old?
Yeah, that's wrong.
We don't have the motor skills to do that, but we were doing it.
Basic wood shopping with a pencil, like you were carving the...
Yeah, and it was a mechanical one, and it kept breaking, so I was at the window
for a while,
and I think that's why I saw it.
Isn't it amazing how life works?
Well, I remember distinctly hearing the news that John Lennon was assassinated.
Oh, you were old.
Yeah.
I miss him every day.
I don't, after hearing that now and then.
Oh, sure.
Why don't we do this, Matt?
I mean, let's just get a call in just to check that all systems are a go.
Sure.
Oh, and so let me say this, and maybe this can spur the first call or kind of
encourage the first call.
We got so much talent in this room, musically.
Ellie on bass, Jake, Carly, Vic even.
I did notice I brought a guitar, but where'd that get to?
It's over there.
Oh, it's over there.
Do you play any music?
I can do one drum solo from a Beatles song.
There's only one.
Can you really do it?
I can do it.
Like note for note, you think?
I think so.
Well, we can't actually test it.
I can do it on my lap.
Do MIDI drums or something.
Wow.
I'm already off.
I can do it.
And then I think I can do Smoke on the Water if I have about 10 minutes to get
through it.
Okay, well, we don't have that kind of time.
All right, so there we go.
Bass line for Smoke on the Water.
Frank Zapper and the Mother.
No, but what we're going to do, because we are now seven, what's that, 21,
somewhere around 20 days, it's less than 20 days from Christmas.
Christmas, yeah.
So we have to write a Christmas song today.
It's got to be done.
It has to be done.
To get on the charts, make it number one.
Yes.
iTunes, iTunes, MV3 download.
So we need your suggestions.
We'll be like, we're like an improv troupe today.
Right.
Perfect.
We're going to get your help, and I've got a piano here.
You've got guitars.
Ellie's on bass.
We'll keep it in C.
Yeah.
So what's the, let me ask you this.
What's up with this?
Because you've got, you're playing the D shape.
You got that tuned down a whole note?
Just a whole step.
Wow.
Why do you got to be so troublesome?
Why do you got to be such trouble?
You're saying it was Neil, right?
Neil does it.
It's very nice.
Okay, and you do it too on your little guitar that you have.
Don't you tune it down a whole step?
Yeah.
On the little one?
Yeah, my little.
On the little guitar?
It's so small.
Yeah.
So, all right.
With that being said, that's the news.
And thank you for watching.
Goodbye.
Oh, I do want to bring this up, Matt, before I go to the call.
Yes, sir.
People are already talking about my goatee.
They're not saying good stuff, either.
I can't imagine they are.
I'm aware of it, as you are.
I'm a hairy guy.
You should bring up that song that I wrote with Eric, the my goatee song.
Oh, I love that song.
The goatee song.
Yeah, sure.
But this is because I did a part in a movie, and we shot on Monday, but the
problem is we're
shooting at more of that song.
Yeah, listen to this song.
It's a beautiful song.
The Pippel Brothers.
Pippel?
Pippel.
Oh, no.
All right, we'll listen to it later.
Oh, my God.
So good.
It's better than that Now and Then song.
It is, really.
Did you watch the video?
Did I watch the video?
Did I talk about it for an hour on the show?
Yeah, it's good.
Oh, no, it's really good.
Yeah, yeah.
I helped with it.
So the goatee is for a movie I'm doing.
I made the decision.
I said, hey, director, I think I'll have a goatee for this because I play a
police officer.
This is your idea.
Yeah.
I said, this will help me get into character.
But the problem is we shot a day on Monday, but we're shooting the rest of it
in the new
year in January, the first week of January.
So I can't start fresh.
This takes a month to grow.
How hard would it be to get a fake goatee?
That's a good drop.
I know, it's true.
You think I'm lying?
You should play that drop when you think someone's lying.
Fantastically, he's saying how.
No, I can't do a fake one.
Can't do a fake one.
Sorry.
Sorry, Jake.
Nice try.
All right, let's take a call.
Help!
Graham!
Graham, help us, would you?
Unmute, please, Graham.
Hello?
Hello, Graham.
Hello.
Oh, my God.
So I know how to do?
Naturally, I can't see you.
I just see the, I don't see anybody in there.
He looks like the bear.
Do you get this?
Oh, I wish I would, I'd love to see you, but I don't see you.
That actor and I have the same birthday, a