Name: Aparna Nancherla, John Carroll Kirby (Episode 281)
Uploaded: 2024-01-18T23:39:37.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Aparna Nancherla, John Carroll Kirby (Episode 281)' from Office Hours Live with Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-01-18. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Aparna Nancherla, John Carroll Kirby (Episode 281)' from Office Hours Live with Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-01-18. Transcript available.

Aparna Nancherla, John Carroll Kirby (Episode 281)

I like having fun, I like to laugh, I like to meet people who can make me laugh,
I like having fun, yes I like to laugh, I like having fun with me.
Let's get the back beat, come on, on the two, on the two, let's do some aerobics
for the first minute of the show, minute of the show, I'm jogging in place like
Vic thinks I do, I'm jogging in place like Vic thinks I do,
remember that, when Vic said, what do you run, I said I run every morning, he
said what do you run at home, I said what, how am I running at home, you look
like Rocky 1 out there in the Philadelphia streets, remember Rocky's running in
the morning, he's running with that gray sweatsuit on, tight on his body,
running with them chickens, he's got to catch his chickens,
it's the only way he's going to beat Apollo Creed, because a creed is as fast
as a little chicken, chicken, see, Bill Cosby was a consultant on the first
Rocky movie, Stallone's like, I don't know how to convey,
that, how fast the creed is, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken,
chicken, what you gotta do, is have Rocky go chase the chicken, see, can you
say what you gotta, can you say what you gotta do, and then on the do make it
sound like a chicken,
what you gotta do, what you gotta do, thanks there Bill, it's doctor, it's
doctor Cosby to you, you little greasy Italian,
greasy Italian. Well he doesn't know who Sly Stallone is. Hey you Mr. Cosby. Oh
it's Dr. Cosby to you. It was 20 years ago. I'm from Philadelphia. You want to
make a movie here? You've got to run it by me. See? My Cosby impression has
gone downhill since COVID. I tell you since COVID my Cosby impression has gone
downhill.
It really affected Bill Trump. Don't call me Bill. I'm a doctor. See? Was he a
doctor by 1976? No but Bill became a doctor because they gave him all these
awards. Honorary doctor. But they used it in all his credits going forward. It
was like Dr. William H. Cosby III.
All right. Well listen.
Come on. Let's run. Vic. Get up and run. Let's do it.
Aparna?
There you go. I got to do the
Aparna Nancherla is here sitting in the guest chair. I wanted to introduce you
in a more
significant
festive way.
Not as Cosby?
Actually Cosby, this is a good trade
issue. Cos, isn't he actually
from D.C.?
Oh I didn't know that.
I might be wrong.
I'll go with it.
Yeah, he is.
I remember there's
you know that hot dog
place in D.C.?
Yes.
With the big mural on the side of it?
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
I think he's up there on that mural.
Oh yeah.
Maybe not, maybe not anymore.
Now do you say Washington or Washington?
No, that's a case of whitewashing if they take him off the mural.
I don't know what I'm doing.
I say Washington.
What is that?
That's the correct way.
Washington.
George Washington.
Well, we're going to have a great show today.
Let me tell you something folks.
We have our, finally we have our new set in place.
And let's just give a round of applause to that.
Big ups to Ellen Connaughton.
Oh yes.
Ellen what?
Connaughton.
Is that her?
How do you spell it?
Wait, now we've got to figure out how to pronounce her.
How do we pronounce it?
How rude is this?
Oh, all right.
Can't we all just be numbers?
Matt, what is it?
I'll be seven.
How do we pronounce the last name?
That's a good number.
Yeah.
I'll be number one!
What's that?
Waiting for pronunciation from Matt here.
I always say Connaughton, but I don't know.
Okay.
Well, we'll get Ellen maybe to chime in.
We should get her on.
Zoom in and tell us, Ellen.
Zoom in, Ellen.
Thank you for your great work.
And Sean, her helper.
Her very tall helper.
Oh, yeah.
So, Wes, Wes is a big part of this too.
What's going on behind me?
Am I canceled or not?
It's a window.
This is your view?
Yes, we blasted through the garage door.
And now we're out.
The sun doesn't rise until about 10 a.m.
8 o'clock.
So, Wes, what is it?
Just a bunch of TVs?
I don't know.
Who cares?
No, it's totally real.
I think it's the best looking podcast right now.
Yeah, for sure.
I've done a lot of podcasts.
This is the best looking.
Why does every podcast have now the velvet, the Joe Rogan red curtains?
Like, even the ones that aren't Joe Rogan, they're just like, maybe if we get
the red curtains, people will get fooled into thinking.
They won't catch on.
Yeah.
I want to start with some big breaking news.
There's been a big discovery in the lexicon, the English language.
We have, if you want to guess, you can guess at home.
But we want to acknowledge that a new nickname for corn has been discovered.
So, we've all been waiting for this.
And let's hear the new nickname for corn.
It's called corn.
That's a nickname in its own way, but we came up with a new word for a new
couple of words for corn.
So, we have new words for corn.
What are they?
Okay, I didn't have the corn part, but I got it.
I got it.
That's my day.
You have more non-liquid gold.
They said, what is that?
I said, corn.
They said, we love that idea.
You know, that's a pretty cool thought, isn't it?
That's a nickname in its own way.
So, it's non-liquid.
So, now we're now.
For a new couple of words for corn.
It's now.
Non-liquid gold.
You know where it was?
Iowa.
It's called corn.
Well, I just met non-liquid gold.
Non-liquid gold.
There it is.
Non-liquid gold.
Corn.
Corn, corn, corn.
Good corning, by the way.
Good corning, Doug.
Sorry, you're there.
Corn.
Trying to figure out how to turn this off.
Trying to figure out how to turn this off.
What's your favorite kind of corn?
Corn.
Pop.
Are you getting right into the interview?
I mean, why not?
No, we should go longer.
How do you like your non-liquid gold served?
Pop.
Pop.
I like it popped.
Popcorn gives me a tummy ache.
How else can you get corn?
Oh, I guess chowder.
The cob?
The cob is the best.
Cobbed.
I immediately went to chowder.
Yeah, corn is like low on my list of foods I'm ever thinking about eating.
Yeah, it's not front of mind for me.
Do you want to hear a parrot saying popcorn?
Yeah.
Any food that you've got to like bury in salt and butter is not the best.
Pop, pop, pop, corn.
What is it?
Pop, pop, pop, corn.
I feel like any food that you don't eat just plain is probably not great.
Like when you eat an oyster, people have to put all kinds of crap all over it.
Exactly.
It's not, you know.
By itself, it should be fine.
It's not.
It's not.
It's not.
I've had good oysters on its own.
Like I suck them in and it's a good experience.
But what about corn syrup?
That's doing some heavy lifting.
I love corn syrup.
I put corn syrup on my pancakes.
You know what I do?
I'm going to take everything back right now.
How about some cornbread?
Oh, yeah.
Cornbread, baby.
That's probably the best way to do corn.
All right.
Let's also welcome Vic Berger.
I like food.
Hey, guys.
How you doing?
Hey, guys.
How you doing?
What's up, everybody?
I thought we'd do this because we have this new set.
I just want to quickly have you guys talk through some of the items on your
shelves.
We noticed a lot of podcasts tended.
We do it on our satirical podcast on cinema.
Which is sort of world's blending here.
We have shelves behind.
You don't used to look at a wall.
You certainly don't want to look at a red velvet curtain.
It's a feast for the eyes now.
Ephemera.
Ephemera.
We like ephemera.
Vic had, well, I'll start with mine because Vic has way more.
Vic did a better job.
I'm still a work in progress, but I got a, here's a sock monkey I made over
Christmas.
You made that?
Yeah, I made four of them, and this is the one I, I gave the rest of them away,
I think.
I love Doug.
You know Doug, right?
Yeah, I know Doug, but I didn't know about his craftiness.
Doug is always doing things.
I look on Instagram, and he's hiking with, he's doing hiking groups.
And then I found out that he's volunteering.
Did you hear about this?
Where?
Do you want to talk about this?
I volunteer Tuesday mornings.
I, I, you know how grocery stores throw out food?
Yeah.
I help them take the food they're going to throw out.
It's still good.
And then we give it to, I bring it to a place, and they distribute it to us.
Here's the drop concert.
You're not doing anything like that, are you?
No.
Me neither.
Here's a drop concert record.
This is one of those lathe cut.
I love that.
It's pretty cool.
A couple more things here.
Mr. Cole?
Of course, my fingerboard, custom fingerboard.
Anyway, this is, this is pretty cool.
Oh, yes.
Two-Wet Crew.
Two-Wet Crew ornament.
Two-Hickey.
You must have done a Two-Wet Crew show.
No.
Ouch.
Have you ever done, really?
Every, every day I learn about something I was not asked to do.
Every time I ask you, you say no.
Do you, uh,
I remember me, I think I've only met you once, is that?
I think so.
Yeah, I was just at a show at the Virgil?
Yes, correct.
There we go.
Now we know.
Where are you, are you, um, are you up, are you going up a lot?
Are you back at it?
I guess so.
Is it the new year?
I would say I don't, I don't hit the streets every night like I used to.
These people.
I don't know how they're doing it.
Mark Maron, he's always going, like, I'm doing the comedy store tonight at 11,
so I gotta get down there.
Oh, yeah, I can't.
He's from Chicago now.
Check out this patch, Chaos Leader.
Oh, man.
I'm still on this.
Someone named, someone, oh, Chaos Pad, I'm sorry, the Chaos Pad.
I have a custom Chaos Pad patch.
That's really cool.
That is cool.
I don't know where to put it, because it's so cool.
I don't want to commit.
All right, Vic, quickly with your, uh, Ellen picks some of these beautiful
things up here,
like the XTC record, and the Garth Brooks stuff, and the Smile, which is what I
love.
And then I brought in, um, where is it?
What's his name?
Uh, uh, God.
Billy Bob.
Billy Bob.
Billy Bob Thornton?
No, Billy Bob, the guy from Showbiz Pizza.
Oh.
Remember Showbiz Pizza, anybody?
Oh, yeah, before Chuck E. Cheese, he was Showbiz.
Yes.
Yes, and then I got a little, uh, Paul doll.
So, keep adding to it.
Oh, actually, I don't have a big problem with that.
I'm gonna keep evolving here.
All right.
I like that green guy over there.
Yeah, yeah.
What's that?
Yeah, that's, uh, what is the green guy?
What is he from?
That's from a musical guest that we had on, uh, Wednesday.
Wednesday.
Wednesday, right?
Oh, she made that.
She made it.
Yes.
It's our little mascot.
Elvis Costello book of Tim's.
Uh, yeah, I wrote that Elvis Costello book.
There's the post-punk DVD that Matt wanted you to burn on the compound, only be,
only available
on patreon.com slash office hours live.
Wow.
All right.
Wow.
There we go.
Let's take a quick call real quick, just to confirm all systems.
And, uh, if you have any questions for Aparna, she's here to answer them for
you.
I'm here.
I'm ready.
I want to talk about your book, which I'm listening to.
Oh, okay.
How does that make you feel?
Mm, bad.
It feels like I'm listening to the book right now.
There are a lot of pauses.
I, you know, it's funny, because I just did an audio book, um, I was reading,
listening
to the, uh, Steve, no, the, um, Elon Musk biography.
Oh, yes, sure.
And I put it on the 1.5 speed, which I didn't know.
I didn't, I know people do that.
Oh, yeah.
But it's pretty good once you get used to it, but it didn't work for you.
I tried you on the 1.5 speed.
It wasn't clicking.
It was a little too neurotic.
I go on 10x.
A little speedy.
Matt, who do we have in our room that wants to communicate with me personally?
Austin?
Austin?
How do we say that?
Hey, how's it going?
Good morning.
Good morning.
Good morning.
How are you?
Where are you calling from?
Uh, Los Angeles, right down the street, everyone.
All right.
Easy.
Back off.
Doug, what's up?
What's up?
O-Stone.
What, do you know this guy?
I know O-Stone, yes, big time.
What is this, just a friend hang?
We used to play volleyball, but then the volleyball group.
Whoa, another Doug secret.
Yeah, the volleyball group kind of broke up.
Oh, he's playing volleyball and kickball and soccer and baseball.
I don't do kickball or soccer, all right?
I don't do that.
So much fun.
Surfing and...
Dang.
He's so active.
He's li