Name: Surprise Guest Zach Galifianakis, Lizzy Cooperman (Episode 282)
Uploaded: 2024-01-25T23:33:32.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Surprise Guest Zach Galifianakis, Lizzy Cooperman (Episode 282)' from Office Hours Live with Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-01-25. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Surprise Guest Zach Galifianakis, Lizzy Cooperman (Episode 282)' from Office Hours Live with Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-01-25. Transcript available.

Surprise Guest Zach Galifianakis, Lizzy Cooperman (Episode 282)

I like having fun. I like to laugh. I like to meet people who can make me laugh.
Good morning, everybody!
Good morning, it's Tim Heidecker here with another episode of Office Hours.
It's January 25th, 2020. Vic?
Poor.
And can you turn this, I gotta turn this monitor because I can't see myself.
I don't, I mean, I can see myself, I don't want to because I'm so embarrassed.
Well, well, well, who's behind me? Who are you?
I am Lizzie Cooperman.
Lizzie Cooperman, D.B. Cooperman's here.
I'm thrilled to be filling in for Doug in this morning's performance.
Yes, this is going to be a great show.
A lot of people talk about the group Blink-182. This is episode 282.
So...
That's cool.
And Vic Berger's here.
We've got a special guest here. I have not introduced him yet. We're going to
play a game to determine who it is.
Victor Berger's here!
Do I get a guess?
No.
Oh, wait, you don't get a guess. You know who it is.
Tim, am I happy to be here today?
You're darn tootin' I am.
All right.
Vic made me mute the bed so I could do that.
Thirty seconds ago in preparation for that.
The bed was going on a very long time.
I could do Popeye.
That's all I can do.
Producer Matt's here.
And Doug is on a cruise, folks.
He's on the Eric Andre cruise, which is having a diarrhea outbreak.
We've just gotten word that there's diarrhea like that movie, the boat movie.
What's the movie with the boat?
That everybody loved.
Titanic.
That's it.
Triangle of Sadness.
That's the situation.
Now, without further ado, we would like to turn cameras over to our...
Who is it?
Can somebody guess, Matt?
Let's bring a Zoomer in and see if they can fucking guess.
Based on hands.
Based on his hands.
Yeah, let's look at the hands.
Now, we've got a couple things.
It isn't Bob himself, obviously, but let's bring him a Zoomer.
Shelby, you got a guess?
Can you see?
Shelby Foote.
A few dogs.
Hey, Shelby.
Good morning.
Good morning.
You want to take a guess?
You want to take a guess at our special guest?
Can you hear me?
Yes.
It's Rosie.
It's what?
Rosie the dog.
No, it's not Rosie the dog.
Can you see that there's clearly a man holding up a Bob Dylan picture?
I think that's a dog.
It's not a dog.
How could it be a dog?
Wait, we're going to give you one more clue.
Wait, maybe it is a dog.
No, seriously.
Who do you think it is?
Bob Dylan.
It's not Bob Dylan.
Next Zoomer.
We've got to get one more guess, and then we'll find out who the guest is.
Jonathan, you got a guess?
Yeah, it's Zach Galifianakis.
Wait, what?
How did you do that?
All right, let's reveal.
His little peek gave it away.
Oh, you peeked?
I didn't know what the parameters were of the show.
You didn't know what the parameters were?
What do you mean?
Of the show.
Like what my frame was.
Well, that's why we had you come in an hour early to run that, and we did run
it.
Way to go.
What's your name?
Jonathan.
Way to go, Jonathan.
Good work.
What do I win?
You win the chance to e-meet Zach.
An e-meeting.
Yeah, an e-meeting.
An e-meet and greet.
You're going to have a Zoom with Zach this Sunday morning.
How's 6.30?
It's great.
Pacific time?
Let's do it Hong Kong time to make it fun.
Why not?
So that'll be Thursday.
No, we do have Zach with us, and we have a couple minutes with him,
and then he's got a blast off.
How are you?
I'm good.
Me?
I'm good.
Thank you for having me.
I love you.
Thanks.
I love you for being here.
Oh, well, it's nice to be here.
I've never seen the show, so I'm excited to...
You're not on the internet.
I know what it is.
I've been on it before.
But you don't care for this show.
Well, I didn't know about it.
Do you watch Stephen Colbert, or do you watch The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon?
Nope.
Last thing I watched was Smokey and the Bandit in the theaters.
Yeah.
Well, we're going to have a good time today, aren't we, folks?
We could tell already, because Zach gives me the giggles.
You were just in Sundance.
Yes.
Yes, I was.
That's fun.
It's a great scene.
Yeah.
Did you meet people that you had in the couch?
Oh, showbiz people, business types.
I saw a video of you where you're kind of like standing behind other people
being interviewed.
Yes.
That's my strongness.
That's what I like to do, is not talk much about show business, but just stand
there.
You had opinions on Oppenheimer.
I saw you got somebody, you said it wasn't funny.
I said Oppenheimer wasn't funny?
I think so.
I saw some clip.
Some clip on mine.
I don't remember saying that.
What movie were you in?
Oppenheimer.
Okay.
I could see you in that.
Did they call you for that?
Yeah.
It turned it down for the lead.
For the atom bomb.
Not for the, I'm not playing the atom bomb.
I'm talking about weight.
Yeah, that's a fat joke.
Yeah, I don't do those anymore.
I don't do a lot of jokes anymore.
That's true.
Yeah.
You called me last night and said, listen, I'm not really doing the humor thing
right now,
so be easy on me.
It was too easy, the humor thing.
I'm going more.
What are you into now?
Drama.
Yeah.
Strict drama.
Drama conversations.
Drama podcasts.
Yeah, drama cast.
I don't want to try to be funny.
Well, I want to get into it with you.
Okay.
What kind of, what's your weightlifting situation like?
Are you doing a lot of weightlifting like you used to be doing, or is it now?
I do my regular reps.
Reps?
Is that what it is?
Yeah.
That's what it is.
Yeah.
I'm benching now 480.
And are you all protein, or just?
I'm on a strict protein.
Mostly, mostly.
Corn dogs.
Because if you take the breading off the corn dog and just eat the dog, it's a
lot of protein.
Just go to the dog then.
Yeah, because I think eating a hot dog on a stick is convenient.
Well, they should just sell those without the corn breading on it, Trader Joe's.
I've, listen, it sounds like a joke, but I've actually, I wrote a letter to the
top brass
at Trader Joe's to see if they could do that, and they wrote back, and they
said, you mean
just hot dogs?
With a stick.
On a stick.
On a stick.
And I said, yeah, if you want to word it that way, yeah.
Frozen.
We didn't get into that.
Well, listen, that's enough with you.
I have some business to discuss.
How many people are viewing it now?
Well, that's a controversial question.
Yeah, how many?
Matt, what's the number?
1,700?
1,300 and growing.
Well, now the word's spreading.
Yeah.
So it spreads, and by the end of the thing, what's a good goal?
Normally, like 8,000?
8,000?
55 mil?
And millions.
No, I think we'll probably, I think today we'll probably have about 1,700, 1,800
live.
And then you can watch it later.
You can watch it anytime.
Yeah, and you do use Patreon to support the show.
Do you support the show on Patreon?
What is Patreon?
Oh, I've got to teach you so many things.
What is Patreon?
It's a way to, you know, what is Patreon?
It's a current thing.
You send money, and you get special things.
Got it.
Patreon.com slash Office Hours Live.
So you're asking for donations when you do that?
It's not donations.
It's like a subscription to the show.
Got it.
It's like when you, how did you get a hold of that National Geographic?
I bought it at Gelson's.
Well, our show's at Gelson's, too.
Oh, you can watch it at Gelson's?
Which aisle?
It's in the coffee section, right in the middle.
A little screen there.
A little iPad we dropped over there.
How long have you been doing this, Office Hours?
Oh, people are going to think you don't know me.
They were not actual friends.
Yeah, but you didn't know anything.
I was at your fucking wedding.
I know, but you don't know anything of what I'm doing creatively.
That's why I bring you in to find out.
That's why I'm here, to find out about you.
Well, six years.
I would say seven years.
No.
Seven or four, maybe.
I thought you were going to say a few months.
A couple.
We just started.
Yes, actually, no.
I'm just kidding.
We just started.
Oh, wow.
This is our second episode.
Okay.
No, two hundred and eight.
Well, here's the deal.
For the first three or four years, I was doing it kind of intermittently.
Let me go get my thesaurus.
Have it once in a while.
I always keep up with you, but I'm usually late to the game.
Yeah, well, you're an On Cinema fan.
I, I, yes.
And you're probably not watching the new season.
I probably have not caught up, but it is very good.
Thank you.
Very good.
Vic, have you been watching?
I've been really good at a lot of things.
All right.
So, this is something that happens.
What's he doing?
This is what happens.
They, Vic, Vivek, this is Vivek.
Vivek.
Oh, yeah.
Ram Swam.
He's big into Trump now.
Do you see that?
I didn't see that coming.
He seems like a pretty nice guy, Vivek.
Doesn't he?
He's got a lot of energy.
Hmm.
Hmm.
So, so, Vic and Doug sit back here and they play stupid sound effects.
Oh, okay.
That's the show.
I don't have that.
I have, by the way, this is a real lemon.
Oh, it is.
Yeah, it is a lemon.
I almost tripped over this in the backyard.
Tim thought it was fake.
Someone wants money.
And you will be hearing from my attorney after the show here.
Don't throw it.
This is a real lemon.
I noticed that Vic has, I know, they make, is that not a kumquat?
It looks like a kumquat.
Easy.
We got this.
Family.
Family.
Oh, that was a good catch.
I can catch anything.
I really can.
Except COVID.
No, I had it.
Why does Vic have his own branding on his mic?
That's him.
That's his, he thinks he's being cute.
Okay.
Okay.
Yeah, I feel a little strong.
How do you feel about Billy Joel?
I like Billy.
See, there you go.
I like Billy Joel.
It's fine.
Why?
You don't like him?
I love Billy Joel.
Nylon Curtain.
It's a good album.
He's got a new song.
He teased a new song yesterday.
Yeah.
It's not even a joke.
Okay.
Are we going to hear it?
You're looking at me.
Are we going to hear it?
Can we get a, I mean, do you have that, by the way?
The little tease?
Pull it up.
The teaser.
It's just a couple chords.
I don't know.
It's nothing too crazy.
Go ahead.
All right.
Do you want to hear a fact while this is being pulled up?
Yeah.
You know that song, Bottle of Red, Bottle of White?
Yeah.
It's not the name of the song.
Yeah.
Oh.
I don't, I actually don't know what the main chorus to that song is.
But that song.
That song was essentially written by his server at an elegant restaurant.
Those were words that the server said to him.
Sure.
So he's really plagiarized.
Right.
This is the new Billy Joel.
This is the new Billy Joel.
Let's play.
Nice guy.
Yeah.
It's going to be good.
That's it.
That's awesome.
It's going to be good.
That's, that's, there's a trailer for a song?
There's a trailer.
I've never seen that before.
The G, G, G.
G?
Are you good at.
No, it's not.
Can you play, like if I just say, can you play As It Goes by Billy Joel?
Yeah.
I think that's, I love that song.
As It Goes.
Is that what it's called?
Is that a song?
Uh, no.
Uh, it has As It Goes in the words.
As It Goes.
No, that's not it.
Do you know that song, As It Goes?
No, it's, it's very slow and it's, da, da, da.
Find out, folks.
The Bob Dylan one that he recorded.
No, it's a beautiful song.
As It Goes.
It's not it.
There She Goes.
There she, there she, there she goes.
Oh, and so it goes.
And so it goes.
Yes, I should have known.
What's that from?
Oh, it's beautiful.
We're going to get dinged.
Oh, yeah.
I don't know what this is.
I forget what it's from, though.
It might be, uh.
If we play any music from.
I was going to ask that.
So.
Yeah.
We get dinged.
What do you mean dinged?
Well, we get arrested.
The cops come in.
Cops come.
Like, they'll come through the door.
Yeah.
SWAT team comes.
All right.
Yeah, don't play it then.
It's not worth it.
I've got to go pick up my kids.
I don't.
Yeah, no.
We'll be in jail.
Like, we, we, we spend the night in jail.
But honestly, how does it work in.
They do copyright strike it.
So sometimes things will get blocked.
It'll get.
We have to go write them back.
Okay.
It's very stupid.
But wait, what are we talking about?
Billy Joel.
Billy Joel.
I got to tell.
I got to do.
Oh, you were going to say someone else took something someone said and said, oh,
these
wer