Name: Rory Scovel (Episode 289)
Uploaded: 2024-03-14T21:38:19.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Rory Scovel (Episode 289)' from Office Hours Live with Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-03-14. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Rory Scovel (Episode 289)' from Office Hours Live with Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-03-14. Transcript available.

Rory Scovel (Episode 289)

I like having fun. I like to laugh. I like to laugh.
What are you laughing at already?
I like this. This screaming is good.
Good morning, everybody.
I thought that's just part of the deal.
It's Tim Heidecker calling in, being here.
I'm calling in from my mind.
And it is, well, look, let's be honest.
It's March 14th.
Let's not fuck around. Let's not beat around the bush.
It's 10.02 in the morning.
It's 10.03 now in Glendale.
Very windy.
I often do the weather report right off the bat
because I think it paints a picture of where we're coming from,
even though we are indoors, as you can tell.
You can look out the window behind us.
Beautiful view of Glendale.
And one of my friends back here pointed out that
if this were to be the case,
if this were an accurate window with us looking at it,
we would, in fact, not be in Glendale,
but looking at Glendale from high atop a skyscraper of some kind.
Is that correct?
I looked it up.
I checked our facts.
It is from the cemetery.
Okay.
So it might technically still be in Glendale.
Yes.
From Forest Lawn.
It's from Forest Lawn Cemetery.
And you know who lives in Forest Lawn, everybody?
Well, who doesn't live?
Quite the opposite.
But Larry Fine resides there.
Yes.
His remains.
So maybe it's from his tomb.
I don't think it would be.
So you think it might be from his tomb?
It might fall or something like that.
Underground.
Yeah.
Not a great vantage point from the tomb.
No.
Well, you hear another voice in the room.
It is the one and only, the great one.
The great one.
The great one.
Rory Scoville.
Wayne Gretzky.
He's here today.
He's here today.
Well, I was thinking about this.
And by the way, let me welcome the Trinity, too,
because Doug is here.
DJ Doug.
I would like to say good horning.
And Vic the Virgin.
Vic Berger is here.
Hey, it's Thirsty Thursday, everybody.
I had it really still.
And there's a nice little bubble on top,
and it went away.
Let's sip, everybody.
Please sip that.
Ew, I hate that sound.
I have a friend who slurps.
I have a friend who slurps,
and it drives me batty.
It drives me nuts.
You've got all kinds of those ear issues,
like you hear those noises.
Yeah, I'm very sensitive to sound.
But no, Rory Scoville is here.
And what I was thinking, welcome to the show.
Thank you.
Thank you, thank you.
Regular sip?
Regular sip.
Now, what is that cup?
Where did that come from?
This is from the Greenville Country Club
in Greenville, South Carolina.
All right.
Could you take a sip real quick?
I stole it.
You brought it with you.
You brought a plastic cup with you.
What kind of operation do you think
we must run over here?
Well, here's the thing.
This was getting thrown away.
Multiple cups were getting thrown away
at an event I was at,
and I just collected them all.
And people were like,
what are you doing with the trash?
And I was like,
these are real cups.
This isn't just use it once
and throw it away.
Well, yeah.
That's a legit cup.
It's got a little give to it.
So I've just kept it.
I've got about 20 of them.
Can you imagine the microplastics in that?
That's what I...
Well, you've got to get on board now.
Yeah.
It's the same with AI.
Either get...
You can't fight it.
Just get plastics in you.
I have a...
Work with robots.
I have a note for...
Well, I had an AI fail this morning.
Oh.
Hashtag AI fail.
This is breaking news.
This is a first.
Well, sometimes I do dip in,
and I use it for what I would think.
Oh, this could actually be
a nice practical purpose for this.
Okay?
So this is going to be very mundane,
but I really want to walk you through
what I did and why it failed me
and how it failed me.
I was copying a large chunk of text
from a website,
and when you copy and paste it,
it transfers in the form of all that text.
So the hyperlink and the...
It becomes like a table.
Yeah.
I know that problem.
You know this problem.
Everyone watching this is a very tech-savvy crowd.
They all know this problem.
Yep.
You're doing tech sounds?
Yeah.
I was doing photocopier sounds.
That's what AI sounds like
that we can't hear inside the machine.
So anyhow, listen,
I don't want to give too much away,
but I was pulling shit from IMDb,
and I wanted basically a big list of names.
Wow.
But I didn't want it as this long list.
I just wanted it kind of like...
like written out,
the name, comma, the name...
Yeah.
I was like, great.
And let's say the movie was Godfather, right?
Okay.
I'm not going to say what the movie is.
It's such a non-spoiler thing to be talking about.
So I wrote into chat GPT.
I said,
make me a list of all the actors
of the entire cast of The Godfather.
Yeah.
Right?
And they couldn't do it.
AI couldn't do it.
Yeah.
Then I wrote back.
I said,
do you have access to IMDb?
And they said,
we do not.
I cannot access IMDb.
Well, what are you doing?
So maybe...
I'm better than you right off the back.
Maybe we're safe.
Maybe we are safe.
AI is probably like a guy...
It's just a dude being like,
oh, shit.
Or that's their cover.
Like, oh, we can't even get into IMDb.
But here are some nuclear codes.
I don't know.
I felt really disappointed
and let down by the whole thing.
What do you think, Vic?
Do you think we're safe?
I think we're all right.
Although, can you show that Goodman one?
Oh, yeah.
The John Goodman thing?
The John Goodman thing.
It seems like lazy Skynet.
Tim, are you telling me
that you are DB?
Because I am Doug.
I am DB.
I am DB Cooper.
This is what DB Cooper ended up doing.
I podcast.
That's what he did.
He started IMDb.
Yeah.
That's right.
That's what he did with all that cash.
I got...
A hundred grand.
I was about to say,
how far do you think that cash takes you?
And I've disappeared with $50.
I got sucked into that DB Cooper documentary on Netflix,
which I should have known was a scam.
These things are scams,
these six-part series things.
I know.
Come on, man.
Yeah.
Let's get the editors back
into the room
and work this out.
Yeah.
Let's see what we can lose.
Let's trim the fat.
Decibel Cooper.
DB...
Yes, that's correct, Doug.
Well, no,
I was thinking about you is,
first of all,
you got a stand-up special on MA...
What's MAX?
MAX.
It used to be what we all
so lovingly called HBO.
I'm like,
HBO.
Of course.
But now it's Max.
Oh, thank God for him.
And just Max.
And Conan O'Brien is your producer?
Conan O'Brien did it.
And I assume,
is Max Cinemax?
And it became HBO Max
when they merged,
and then they were like,
let's just go with Max.
Yeah.
I don't know,
I don't know if people at Max
are fully aware of
an answer to this question.
It's a little depressing
to go there
because I'm not really
like a TLC,
HDTV reality
kind of guy.
And God bless everybody who is.
God bless them.
Hello, Max.
God bless half of them.
But it's depressing
to go on that,
like when you go
to the main interface
and it's a lot of that stuff.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And you're looking
for your Sopranos and stuff
and it feels like,
it's like on the same level
as the Sopranos.
I did notice...
Just as good as...
Viewers also liked this.
Pop my pimple person
and the Sopranos,
whatever you want.
Yeah, yeah.
Same amount of quality
and integrity
and genius involved.
But no,
that's exciting you.
But what I was thinking about
is we do a photo shoot.
It's the beautiful
blonde boys of comedy.
It's me,
it's you,
it's John Early.
Yeah.
Doug.
Doug.
I'm not there.
Yeah, he is.
I like this.
And who else?
Doug.
That's it,
that's it.
Is this a calendar?
No,
are we thinking
this is a calendar?
I think it starts
as a photo shoot
and then we shop it.
And we see,
can we finally take on
firemen?
Is that what this is about?
Beautiful blonde,
and somebody should go online.
My audience is very talented
with the Photoshop
and everything,
so I think the audience
could get ahead of us
on this.
Yeah, yeah.
Maybe use AI,
I don't know.
But the beautiful blonde
boys of comedy
featuring Rory Scovel,
Tim Heidecker,
John Early,
and more.
Yeah.
Because I was,
I mean,
are you from Tennessee?
I'm from South Carolina.
South Carolina.
Yeah.
Same,
I mean,
it's,
what are we?
It's here.
New Jersey,
Connecticut.
And then the rest
of the country.
But I feel
there's a little
John Early in you,
especially when you
get into that
Southern guy.
Oh yeah,
it comes out,
there's a Southern-ness
that just never escapes you.
It's a fun way to,
I mean,
I talk that way sometimes,
I'm not even from there
because it's soothing.
It's maybe my favorite.
Yes.
I think I strangely know
who that guy is
as a fictional person
than I know
even myself.
And I was doing it
on tour last summer.
Remember the bit
when me, Ellie,
and Josh,
that's the only way
we could communicate?
Right, right.
My bass player
and drummer,
we would just be like,
I just don't know
what we're going to do tonight.
I think we're just
going to get something to eat.
I just love it.
It feels,
it feels right.
like Truman Capote.
It feels like
this is the character.
This is the lie.
This is the lie
we've told the world.
I'm truly myself.
I'm just so tired of it all.
I'm tired of pretending
I'm not this guy.
And I know I don't sound right.
Next time you're at the road
you've got to get the fan.
It's all about how I feel.
Oh, God.
What was the thing
I was doing about numbers?
What's my favorite number?
Six.
I love six.
Let's see.
Seven.
I love seven.
It's something so great
about someone overthinking
their favorite numbers.
People think I'm being like,
like I'm making fun of people.
But no,
it feels so good.
Zach does it.
It feels great.
Zach Galifianakis does it
very well.
He does,
when he does his brother.
I think there's something
because when you meet
that real person
who that is their real self,
you are just,
they're infinitely fascinating.
Yes.
Because you can't predict,
you can't put them
into the usual genre
of a personality type
that you're meeting
and you're like,
this is a curveball.
And it's always entertaining.
Yes.
Yeah.
I love Trump.
And you're just like,
whoa.
I think he's really smart.
Then you'd be like,
I didn't know Andrew Lloyd Webber
did the musical School of Rock.
That of all the shows,
that is my favorite
of all the shows.
School of Rock.
I didn't know that.
Did you know that?
Do you know the,
my daughter asked,
wanted me to find a school of,
she likes the movie School of Rock.
Yeah.
Which I do too.
I think,
you know,
that's a classic.
So we,
on the drive home,
Is that the geology one?
Well,
I might as well.
Yeah,
yeah,
yeah.
I'll say.
And I go,
hey Siri,
play the School of Rock soundtrack.
But what it is,
oh look,
why you?
I'm not talking to you.
Don't you know when I'm talking,
telling a story about you?
I'm not talking to you right.
I'm talking about,
shut the fuck up.
Just a reminder,
I cannot access IMDb.
It says about you by Trey songs.
Anyways,
I said,
hey,
S word.
Yeah.
Play the School of Rock soundtrack.
And apparently,
Andrew Lloyd Webber,
did the,
did the Broadway musical
for School of Rock.
All right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So there's no rock music in it?
But it's that.
Oh,
he did,
he did a superstar,
right?
Yeah.
He did back to the future.
Wouldn't that kind of be,
a blur of mine,
back to the future on Broadway.
Like,
what?
Really?
Well,
it's not,
the musical's not,
I didn't,
we didn't like it.
We,
we were disappointed
in the music.
Oh,
it is,
it is a,
that is a thing.
Back to the future is a,
it is on Broadway.
Not on Broadway.
It is.
No,
I think it is.
Come on,
really?
It is.
Let's go back to the future.
That's not good.
I take it back.
To the future.
Thank Huey Lewis.
Is that like a generic
Huey Lewis song?
Huey Lewis is like,
let me hear that.
Huey Lewis is like,
I'll get you music.
I'll get you the music
if you want.
You don't understand,
it's not that hard.
I get it for you.
Yeah.
Is this Huey Lewis?
Duck!
Or maybe it is.
You don't want to get dinged now.
Yeah,
come on now.
Okay.
It's back and going.
Potential dinging.
We should start the show.
I love this thing in your special
where you're like,
halfway through the thing,
you're like,
we should start the show.
We gotta get going.
Let me just make an announcement.
Hear ye.
Hear ye.
H