Name: Emma Vigeland (Episode 301)
Uploaded: 2024-07-09T22:48:48.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Emma Vigeland (Episode 301)' from Office Hours Live with Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-07-09. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Emma Vigeland (Episode 301)' from Office Hours Live with Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-07-09. Transcript available.

Emma Vigeland (Episode 301)

I like having fun. I like to lie. I like to meet people who can make me laugh.
I like having fun. Yes, I like it. Afternoon. I like it. Afternoon.
For anybody in the West Coast, Central Coast, right here in the industrially
ravaged East Coast of Florida, it's the two-time award-winning Office Hours
Live.
I'm Tim Heidecker here, coming to you from yards from the Atlantic Ocean.
Why is your fan off?
What?
I want to get into that.
What are we, your turkey dinner?
Yeah, why is your fan off?
No, the angle's fine, right?
Should I go up?
No, you're more of like a turkey sandwich.
You know what I mean?
I thought about the fan.
I said, well, the fan would be a little much for the whole show.
It's good in small doses when the Zoomer's calling, but you want me to turn it
on?
I can turn it on if you want.
See how fast it goes.
Stick around for the second half of the show, and you'll see the fan whirling
at high speed.
That's right.
We're back on a Tuesday.
It is Super Tuesday, July.
Every Tuesday this month, we'll be coming to you live.
Mostly at our normally scheduled hour, but believe it or not, we adjusted our
schedule.
Not for me, I was ready to go earlier today, but we have a very special guest
today.
Emma Viglund from the Majority Report will be Zooming in.
We had to wait for her to finish her little two-bit show that she does with the,
what's his name?
Sam Sater?
Sam Sater, the goon.
Pig fuck.
The Biden apologist.
Yes.
Who was welcome on this show once, and he had an opportunity to really make a
name for himself here, but squandered that opportunity very quickly, I'm afraid.
Come on, man.
But we love Emma, and Emma's been a tremendous voice of reason on that dying
show.
And I hope she gets, I hope she finds her way out, is my message to her, which
I'll be delivering shortly.
Doug Lusenhop is in the old Office Hours headquarters.
Doug, I'm turning it over to you.
Good horning.
How's it going today, brother?
Good horning somewhere.
And Victor IV, Victor Berger IV, with some big news.
I'm going to turn to you back now for some big news.
Let me do this real quick.
Let's sip, everybody.
And I got, I got to tell you, three weeks ago, I broke my glasses.
The lenses popped out.
They're cut in half and everything.
So I've been wearing...
Where's the pop sound effect, Doug?
Yeah, so I've been, you got one?
I've been wearing prescription sunglasses 24-7 for three weeks, but I got big
news.
I got my new glasses are here that are not sunglasses.
So can I have a drum roll?
Do you want to reveal them now?
And, uh, yeah.
Hold on.
Let me get that drum roll back to you.
He was up all night working on this reveal.
All right.
Thanks, guys.
I like them.
There they are.
Look at that.
Now, you know who you look like.
I don't know.
I'm scared to hear this.
Take the cowboy hat off.
You look like Mr. Randy Newman, ladies and gentlemen.
Oh, yeah.
I love L.A.
Cut to tape.
Cut to tape.
Kind of like a mother's ball.
Touch a mother's ball, perhaps.
I like that he's taking my look.
And so much more.
We have John Gentle calling in the new podcast from the folks at Best Show.
He's going to drop in later today.
We'll have your Zooms.
Quick, too big.
There he is.
See, there's Vic.
I like it all.
Go for that.
I'll play him in a biopic.
Okay.
And what else do we have, Matt?
We got my new record was announced today featuring Vic Berger.
People can find that.
The new video for the lead single is now on my YouTube page.
So if you haven't watched it, go check that out after the show today.
We're very excited about it.
Can you, how do you order that?
Can you pre-order it today?
Or is it just like you can only watch a video today?
Yes, you can pre-order it at timheidecker.com.
That's right, folks.
Nice.
Get in your orders.
We only made five copies of the LP, so pre-orders should move quickly.
I don't know, but we'll see.
Each version is a new version.
Each album is a new version.
Yes.
Five, and they're all unique.
The lead single has a bit of a country tone to it,
but the record is quite diverse in its sound and texture.
Definitely.
I did get a bad, should I read my bad YouTube comment?
You should only read the nice one.
How about just read the nice one?
Oh, that's the worst.
Well, there's always a bunch, but this one came in from Lord Constrabuzz.
Not a terrible song.
Not great.
Vocal melody is way too simple and repetitive, and the mix is off.
Every instrument is too isolated, especially the vocals.
So that's from Lord Constrabuzz.
I don't understand.
How do you make them all too isolated?
You know what I say to him?
I say, thank you, my Lord.
Who's Adrian Linker?
Who's Adrian Linker?
Is that a good name?
Big Thief.
Big Thief.
Who's Big Thief?
That's a nice compliment.
A friend of show, Big Thief.
I don't know.
I don't want to, Lord Constrabuzz.
Is it Lord Constrabuzz?
Yeah.
I don't think that's his real name.
Lord Constrabuzz.
You don't think he's actually a lord?
No.
Lord have mercy on me.
I think I ran into him at the vape shop, if you take a look at his profile.
You know, I don't want to be that guy who's doxing anybody to go to this guy's
site, but
he's one of these clowns with like a skeleton on his thing.
He's into like samurai stuff, and he makes beats.
He's a DJ.
Just stay away.
Like, mind your own business.
I didn't need your notes about the record that's already done.
Can't you go back and mix it again?
I said, uh-oh, anything we can do at this point?
Give him the stems and see what he can do.
That's so weird.
I don't know.
What a weird thing to chime in on.
See, like he started off like-
Clearly not his music.
Like if you looked at his page, it's all into like, it looks like, it sounds
like a bunch
of AI crap, like some techno shit.
But he like butters you up with a nice compliment there, and then-
The compliments, I guess it is.
I don't know.
If you're saying you sound like somebody, you're like-
Yeah, maybe it's not a compliment.
I don't know.
That guy's got to cheer up.
That's all.
But anyway, I'm fine.
I'm rested.
I'm feeling, got in some good ocean time.
But I've got a little bit of a scoop on you, Vic.
Oh, shit.
I went the other way with the glasses.
I have a new pair of folks.
Drum roll.
Oh, wait a second here.
Damn it.
I have too many pages of sounds now.
Sunglasses.
Wow, those are the sloppy boys now.
I like that.
I like that.
Are those the Ray-Bans where you can film?
No, they're just, I don't know.
The brand's called All Cops Are Bad Company.
Abaco.
All, all.
What was the B for?
A, B, A, C.
Yeah, Abaco.
And I'll tell you what happened.
My first dip in the Atlantic Ocean went real well.
Felt great.
But sunglasses that I brought down and was wearing are now in the middle of the
ocean.
They just went flying right off my face.
They were gone for good.
Pollution.
Tim, I went to the movie theater the other day and I had my,
brand new AirPods in my pocket.
They fell out.
I heard the clickety-clack.
I grabbed them.
I get home and there's no, there's one pod missing.
Oh, my God.
One right before I got out.
I've been calling this theater.
You didn't grab both?
I'm calling this theater.
No answer.
What kind, what are they the newest ones?
You have reached a movie phone.
I might have an extra one.
Press one for today's listings.
That's what you got, Doug.
Remember movie phone?
Of course.
Some of my audience, I bet these youngsters don't know movie phone.
Let's get a Zoomer in here real quick before we get to Emma, Matt.
All right.
Let's talk to Justin Owens.
Oh.
Justin Owens, do you or do you not remember movie phone?
He has no clue.
Let's check in with Stephen.
I've never heard of that.
We got two beard boys today.
Check this out.
I'm looking for Stephen.
Stephen, give me an answer.
Yes or no.
Be honest.
Do you remember, do you remember the kind of December with movie phone?
I never used movie phone.
Well, that's too much beard matter.
I've got to let that guy go.
That is way too much.
Should we go back to that other beard?
What are you, gritty from the Philly of Flyers?
Son of a bitch.
I like that beard.
What's the guy that...
Did you put movie phone in the cassette player?
No, no, you called movie phone to find out what movies were playing.
That's literally all you did.
That's how you found out.
Like, it was also listed in the newspaper, which you also wouldn't get.
If your parents got the newspaper, it would appear there.
My grandma still reads the newspaper.
I've seen the newspaper before.
Have you seen a newspaper?
Yeah.
I haven't read one, but I've...
Yeah.
And I think they're in museums, too.
Hello and welcome to...
Well, is there anything we can help you with?
You got your hand raised.
Tim, I got the recording.
Oh.
I guess one question is...
What was the cast of what we do in the shadows like in real life?
Awesome.
I have a new feature on Zoom.
I'm kind of curious to check out.
There's this multi-speaker view.
You want to see if we can get both these beards on together?
Oh, that'd be amazing.
Is that going to work?
Did that do anything, Wes?
It's a movie phone.
It's a movie phone.
Movie phone?
There you go.
It's so exciting.
Didn't work.
Never mind.
I used to call and get the charts, the billboard chart listings.
I don't want to trigger Vic, but there was a great episode of Seinfeld where Kramer
made his number...
His number was like one number off from movie phone.
Do you remember that?
Oh.
And people would call him all the time and he'd have the paper there and he was
pretending
to be the movie phone guy.
Got real stressful for him.
That's really funny.
All right.
Okay.
What are we...
Are we good?
Should we wrap it up, man?
Or what do you want to do?
It's enough show for me, Donald.
Yeah.
That's a nice 10-minute...
You know, Doug, we used to do this show called Tim and Eric, awesome show,
great job, but
they'd be 10 minutes and it would be enough.
That's all you need.
A lot of work went into it, too.
Yeah.
Well, we are obligated to do the City of the Day no matter what.
Okay.
Right.
We could do that and then end the show.
We're way past 10 minutes.
Let's do that and then we'll get to Emma.
So, Emma, if you're listening, let's...
She's ready.
She's ready.
Yeah, we can see her.
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And I'm told Emma has left the chat.
She has sent a nice but terse message to Matt saying she's no longer available
to speak with
us.
Okay.
But who is the city of the day, Matt?
Or what is the city of the day?
Nick.
Hey, Nick's here.
What?
Nick.
Hi, Nick.
Where are you calling from?
What's the city of the day?
Milwaukee, Wisconsin.
All right.
Home of the Republican National Convention.
That's exactly right.
I think it begins next Monday.
Nice.
It's going to be fun.
Yep.
The excitement here is palpable.
It's going to be like when Tim and Vic saw, what was it, Sean Spicer and Nikki
Haley outside
the theater?
No, not Nikki Haley.
Carrie Lake.
Carrie Lake.
Yeah.
Carrie Lake.
Did we show that video?
Oh, my God.
We did.
Yeah.
She was not happy with you, Vic.
You were being a pestering little gnat.
Wouldn't give it up.
It wasn't fair.
She said it wasn't fair