Name: Robby Hoffman (Episode 302)
Uploaded: 2024-07-17T00:32:51.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Robby Hoffman (Episode 302)' from Office Hours Live with Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-07-17. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Robby Hoffman (Episode 302)' from Office Hours Live with Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-07-17. Transcript available.

Robby Hoffman (Episode 302)

I like having fun. I like to laugh. I like to meet people who can make me laugh.
Good morning, everybody. Welcome to episode 349. Episode 301 or 2. Episode 302
of the Jeff
Goldblum Podcast. It's Tim Heidecker here for Office Hours Live. It is June's.
What is
it? I'm trying to get to that. July. It is July 16th, 10 a.m. here in the West
Coast. Warm
out. Where's the little slap back coming from? You hearing it? Hey, we got an
open channel
here. Open channel. I can hear it. I can hear it. I'm going to track it down.
You got
it? No, it's not me. No, not me. Hey, you hear it? I don't hear it. Okay, I'm
going to,
it's in my head. Schizophrenic. You know, I'm going to look, but it's not. No,
and things
are unplugged. Somebody should be looking at stuff that isn't him. Somebody
should have
been in here 10 seconds ago. Am I right? Somebody should be in here with all
the people
working this show. It shouldn't be the host also figuring this out on the fly.
Thank you.
I'm such a professional. Look at what I have to do. Look at my. No, and you're
making
it funny and like you're hearing something. You're hearing something. What am I?
You're
saying I'm fucking nuts. Literally. One, two. You don't hear. This is them in
the studio.
I don't hear anything. I know. It's like somebody come. Punch the clock. Check
what you're
hearing. Punch the clock. Nobody wants to work. I'm just trying to get through
this. Nobody
wants to work. I see it. I see the problem. I've fixed the problem. I know the
problem.
No, that's not the problem. Wait, is it this one? You don't hear that. I hear
something. Carson,
take your goddamn headphones on and listen to the room. Hey, two, one, two.
Thank you,
motherfuckers. Wait, where do you think it's coming from? Well, let's get, let's
get fucking
Glyn Johnson here to figure it out. Luke, is anyone back there? They don't want
to work.
Two, two. Hey, check. Where are you? Here they come. Here's Luke. There comes
the Luke. Here comes the Luke.
That's really weird. One. You hear it? One. It's his headphones. It's his
headphones right there.
Do not join office hours on Patreon. Those are unplugged. One, two. Is it me? I
hear a lot of like
background noise. One, two. Is it the monitor? Here's what we're going to do.
Is it that computer?
It could be. I bet it's that Zoom. Wow. It's the computer screen here. Oh, okay.
I know how to fix that,
everybody. Vic, tell us about your weekend. Thank God Tim is here. I'm going to
do a little slap up.
We're on it. Vic, I asked you to communicate with you. Tell me about, you want
to hear all about my wife?
Hello. Fixed. Let's get on with the show. Restart. Thank you. And hey, don't
you go anywhere.
We've got big news. This, my friend Luke Berba right here has got huge news. It
happened a couple weeks ago.
Tell the audience what the hell happened to you. I finally did. Yeah. No, not
entirely wrong. I'm a new dad.
That's it. He's made a baby. He's made a baby. What kind of a baby? A little
girl. Wow.
I'm so sorry for her. So sorry for her. Two weeks ago. Two weeks ago. So we
love Luke.
We love Luke. Seaman. He's a little lazy, but we love him. You'll have to
forgive him.
Now, who the hell is in the studio? We haven't even introduced our guest. I
haven't introduced
Doug. I haven't introduced Vic. You want to take it from the top?
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Office Hours Live. I'm Tim Heidecker.
Hello. And joining me is, as usual, the great one, DJ Doug Pound.
Good horning.
And Victor Berger IV.
What's up, everybody? Check out this drip.
It's pretty good.
Check out this drip.
It's soaking wet.
You have a Michael Jackson shirt.
It's in honor of his death from 2009.
It's the one that was sold in, like, parking lots.
Celebrating his death.
Yeah.
And in studio, very special, very active so far, which we appreciate.
We don't like a lump on the log.
No.
We want engagement.
We want humor.
We want perspective.
And we're going to get it in spades today, ladies and gentlemen.
Robbie Hoffman is here in the studio.
Can you imagine?
I wonder why my screen is you when I can look at you.
My screen should be me.
I don't know why people want...
You want you on the screen?
Yeah, because I can't see how the show is interacting.
I don't think...
Well, for me...
Oh, that's great.
I don't...
Because then if I ever need to see something, this is good.
I see you.
I see this.
I see the whole show.
But you want to keep a close eye on yourself.
No.
I just...
If something's wrong...
Nothing's going to be wrong.
Well, already we've had tons wrong.
And I want to apologize for the technical difficulties.
It was extremely unprofessional.
Yeah, it really was.
But I blame the other fellow.
You actually went above and beyond.
Yeah.
You know, if you don't look out for you, no one will.
You know what happened?
That was a lesson in that.
I heard the sound.
I heard the sound coming from me.
I went like this!
Yeah, exactly.
And they all gaslit you.
Yeah.
No, I don't hear it.
Except for me.
You'll notice I had your back.
Right away you said...
Can somebody help him?
I've just met you minutes ago, and already I feel a strong connection.
I feel appreciation.
And I'm a mutual...
I don't know.
You don't know my work.
I get it.
Oh.
But...
Well, I heard I was invited to this podcast, and then I was uninvited.
So I took it personally at first, but then I said he's going to come crying.
Speak to that, please.
He's going to come crying, and then he came crying, and I don't hold a grudge
like your
DJ does now.
Yeah!
I'm happy to move forward.
Speak to this uninvited.
Did we reschedule you?
It sounds like a rescheduling.
We were trying to get you and Rachel together.
And then what happened there?
I don't know.
You were on tour.
Yeah, and then she flopped, so you were like, let's get the real star.
She was a big flop.
Now you have beef with Rachel?
No.
Okay, good.
Obviously, we're going to have your calls today.
Let's just get some plugs out of the way real quick.
Join patreon.com slash officehours live.
We'd appreciate that.
That supports the show.
It pays for this tremendous technical crew we have.
Yeah.
Burgers.
I like burgers.
And if we get more patrons, we're going to be upgrading some things around here,
personnel-wise.
Listen.
I know Luke just had a baby, and we're going to be considerate of that.
So there'll be an exit strategy that works for everybody.
Yeah.
You are fired.
I love that.
Who is that?
You are fired.
Oh, that's...
I've seen the benefits of the Patreon.
We have a Patreon at the TooFarPod.
Here we go with the plugs.
Listen wherever you can.
Like, subscribe, positive comments only.
And we have a Patreon where it afforded me to buy a new computer.
I haven't had a computer since 2011.
This really upset my co-host.
I went with the 2022 MacBook Air, still refurbished.
You have to understand these people are returning computers to Apple because
they didn't like a color.
Something like this.
So you knock off $300, $400 because you're taking a brand new computer that
somebody got as a gift.
They don't care.
So it's two years old already.
But to me, it's brand new.
We'll get some great financial advice from you throughout the show, I hope.
People, if you've got questions about saving a dollar, Robbie's got the answers.
And also, I'm going to put up this QR code.
You can pre-order my, which hand am I, should I use, Wes?
Now they're not going to do anything I say.
Other.
You're right.
Yeah, there you go.
Pre-order, Slipping Away, my new album of music, which is coming in October.
Beautiful music that we're very proud of.
And there's a great bundle right now with a t-shirt designed by the one and
only Perry Shawl.
A lot of you know Perry Shawl.
We love the Perry Shawl.
And that's available now for pre-order.
And you'll get it right in the mail as soon as it comes out.
So I encourage everybody to click on the QR link.
And thanks for watching, everybody.
We'll be back next week.
Yeah, great show, guys.
Hot dogs.
We like to keep it quick.
All right.
Oh, that album looks nice.
Isn't that cute?
Yeah, that's a cool-looking album.
Yeah.
And is it a comedy album?
No, no, it's very dark, beautiful music.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, because I noticed the banjo.
My mother plays the banjo.
My mother's a guitarist.
Really?
You play all this?
I play them all at the same time.
Yeah, we've got guitars lining the walls.
We're learning so much.
Okay.
Many people would like to banjo as far as politics go.
Oh, jeez.
I haven't voted in years nor will I, so I'm not.
You're Canadian, though.
No, I'm American and Canadian.
I'm a dual.
What a cool, this guy.
What a gangster.
What a fucking gangster.
What does that have to do with anything?
We're not even talking about this.
Why are we showing that?
Yes, I'm just getting that right.
That was yesterday's news.
We're done.
All right.
Well, we should get into it.
Let's go around the room.
Where are we on this?
Where were you when it happened?
What's the impact?
Let's just get it over with.
Well, to not have somebody on the roof, I remember when Obama did Marc Maron's
podcast
and when they were setting up talking about it, Maron was saying, it's so
interesting.
He's never felt like there's snipers on every one of his neighbor's house.
Sure.
So, to me, I'm thinking to not have, there's only like three buildings next to
this field.
I don't understand.
It's on purpose.
Negligence.
Yeah.
To not have somebody on a bill.
Like, that would be one-on-one to me and I know nothing.
Listen, I love a good conspiracy theory.
I read books about it.
I watch the documentaries.
It's not conspiracy even at this point.
You know, the problem with conspiracies is basically in this world, nothing is
what we think it is.
You know, we think things are conspiracies, but they're always proven.
Well, we want simple, clear answers for why things happen when, in fact, most
of the time,
there's just chaos and incompetence.
That's not just chaos, okay.
This, I'm talking about, maybe has some bones, some teeth to it.
Yeah, you know, COVID came from the Wuhan thing.
It wasn't, it was, you know, they were always trying to deny what we see with
our eyes.
Yes, well, I agree to some degree that whatever happened on Saturday seems, it's
a Thanksgiving feast for conspiracy theory people.
There's lots there.
They don't have one security guard on the building?
What are you laughing at, Beck?
Kiss his job baby laughing.
Obama does a podcast that got snipers on every roof.
Sure, I get your point.
This is a rally.
I get your point.
I would see.
I think, you know, just to be.
Let's, can we, can we bring the temperature down in this room a little bit?
Yeah, okay.
I'm talking to you, Matt, with the AC.
Boom!
If he put a little hoop, if Trump, now that he's got the hole in his ear, if he
put a little
earring, a little hoop, a little ice.
Oh, God.
That would be killer.
He locks it in.
Just like a little tear or something.
What a gangster.
All right, so I'm sitting on the air, the wonderful, I have to shout out to my
friends
at Delta.
Boy, do they do a good job with the airplane.
Really?
Excuse me.
He has COVID, so just be careful with him.
Yeah, no, it's okay.
Let me just back up.
I want to shout out the great folks at Delta.
Do they do a nice job flying people around this country or what?
I'm a big Delta guy.
I'm on the Delta flight.
Comfort plus for me and my family.
Only the best.
And we're flying back from Orlando and they've got the TV, they've got the live
TV going that
you can watch TV, cable.
And they do the Delta Blues on their airships.
The Delta Blues.
That's what their name is for, Robert Johnson.
And then you've got Matt, I got the Wi-Fi, so I get a text from Matt asking,
have I seen
the news?
That's how I got the news.
Oh, that's how you got it.
My little sister told me, she said Trump was shot and I said, what?
And then I watched and I thought, wow, what?
Yeah, it looked too, like the security was bad.
They got too many girls.
I said, what?
Oh, no.
I said, if I want security, no, I'm just saying, lik