Name: LA LOM, Gov. Jim Justice (Episode 303)
Uploaded: 2024-07-23T23:01:27.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'LA LOM, Gov. Jim Justice (Episode 303)' from Office Hours Live with Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-07-23. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'LA LOM, Gov. Jim Justice (Episode 303)' from Office Hours Live with Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-07-23. Transcript available.

LA LOM, Gov. Jim Justice (Episode 303)

We have to keep our country gate trippin'
I like having fun, yes, I like to laugh
I like to meet people who can make me laugh
I like having fun, yes, I like to laugh
Good morning, everybody. Welcome.
It is the final Super Tuesday of Office Hours Live.
All month long, we've been broadcasting on the wonderful day of the week,
known by all as Tuesday.
What's Tuesday in other languages?
Call in and let me know.
It's July 23rd, 10 a.m. on the West Coast.
Hot as hell out here.
And thank God we had averted crisis here this morning.
That's real hot.
As two minutes ago, right before broadcast,
Victor Berger went rushing out to his car
because who was left in the car, Vic?
Is it still hot out there?
Miss Rosie the dog.
Miss Rosie the dog, abandoned by her owner,
Victor the Burger, Victor the Fourth.
Baking alive, luckily, was saved at the last minute.
It was fine.
But you guys, let's clarify, the windows were cracked.
They were cracked a little bit.
A little bit.
A lot of it, a lot of it.
Enough for her to escape and get eaten by a coyote.
That's true.
I'm checking out more on them.
The Rosie's with us.
Fuckin' on, chill it out.
No guests.
We're banning guests from office hours.
Too much heat.
Too much heat.
Hot dogs.
From the kitchen here.
Hot dogs.
We do have a musical guest today, La Lone.
La Lone.
I like to laugh when it's business.
And we were, uh...
I have fun when I buy companies.
And we're, and we're, and we're, and we're, and we're, and we're like, home.
Yeah.
Enjoying their, uh, soundcheck.
And you're gonna, so, so love them.
You're gonna fall in love with their beautiful music.
We're gonna get two songs from La Lone.
One at the break, in the first half.
And then, uh, we'll close out with another track from La Lone.
On Verve Records.
From the Dawgs and...
It's very summery.
Quiet!
One of my records means something.
It's good vibes.
Well, I'm psyched.
Psyched to be here.
And I want to welcome my co-hosts.
Behind me to my right shoulder, the one and only, the legend, DJ Doug Pound.
It's a good morning and a good horny!
Doug, you requested us sing more on the show the other day on the group chat.
Well, yeah.
Somebody sent me a beautiful clip of us all harmonizing together.
Oh, yeah.
I think we were singing, like, the national anthem before, like, before the
game night.
Fourth of July kind of thing, yeah.
Speaking of...
Speaking of game night.
Game night patrons only, correct?
Yes.
Patrons only, patrons only game night this Friday.
Sing it, Tim.
Game night.
Game night, it's gonna be right.
Make up a new song.
Patrons only, game night.
Patrons only, game night.
Friday night is game night.
Patrons only, game night.
Patrons only, game night.
Patrons only, game night.
It's like a Christmas hymn.
Wow.
It is a Christmas hymn.
It's like a church.
It's a Christmas hymn.
Behind me on my left is dog abuser...
Victor Burger the fourth.
What's up, everybody?
Get at me, dog.
Tim, I hope you're doing fantastic.
Came up for the last minute.
We right here, dog.
Let's hear that fan.
Hold on.
Let's hear it.
It's work.
Oh, I lost my sound effect.
Oh, well.
All right, guys.
All right.
Here we go.
And Captain Carlin is here.
We've got a full control room this morning, too.
We've got Wes in there, of course, and Alicia.
We've got Luke.
And Luke, who's behind you?
Can anyone guess?
We got Grandpa Dave.
Dave.
Burba is in the house.
Howdy.
Luke's dad.
Luke's dad coming in from where, Dave?
Phoenix.
Phoenix, Arizona.
Good to have you, Dave.
And help yourself to the toilet if you need it.
That toilet is right behind you.
It's that tube.
You can see that tube?
You have to urinate upwards, and it doesn't work so well.
And Alicia, you are on standby, officially on standby,
because it seems like not a minute goes by in this wild world of ours
where breaking news doesn't happen.
So I want you manning the newswire.
We have an actual old-fashioned AP newswire in there.
It's right out of range, right behind Wes, on top of the fridge.
And we've got the newswire coming.
That's how all the news breaks.
So I want you manning the newswire.
And if anything breaks, we're going to give that news to you,
because there's so much happening.
We're going to not dwell on the news today.
But I will say we will have a special guest.
We will have a little special guest zooming in.
A surprise guest.
Well, it's not a surprise.
I'm going to say exactly who it is.
But before I do, a couple of items of business here to announce.
Of course, my album Slipping Away coming from Bloodshot Records.
That's coming in October, but you can pre-order now.
And the single, Well's Running Dry, is out on Spotify, and Apple Music, and Tidal,
and Deezer.
It's Deezer.
Somewhere people can listen.
Amazon Music.
Everybody can stream it.
Everybody can play it at their BBQs.
I want my BBQ, BBQ, BBQ, BBQ back.
And then some little news here.
It's a little exciting.
Thank you.
I watched an interview with Rob Lowe.
It came up on my Instagram or something.
That's pretty cool.
He was talking about being in the room, and Mike Myers improvised.
As Fat Bastard, he improvised his baby back, baby back.
And he said it was like he was in the presence of genius.
Cool.
It's a pretty good scene.
He's like, I want that, you look like a baby, remember?
Yeah, that is funny.
Fat Bastard was pretty good.
I want to eat, get it in my belly.
Come on.
They don't make comedies like that anymore.
See what Mike Myers is up to on Netflix, that decathlon show, whatever it was.
Decataca, decataca.
Why don't you just make more Austin Powers?
Who cares?
That's all we want.
That's what we need.
Look how many James Bond movies there are.
Make us many of those.
It costs half the price.
Remember when, didn't we go see that Mike Myers one?
The Love Guru.
The Guru.
We went there, we went to see the Love Guru as a goof.
Ended up loving it.
No.
It wasn't even bad enough to like make fun of.
Oh, what's that?
The Pentaverit.
Pentaverit?
Pentaverit, 2022.
Oh, this is his new, this is his.
It's from 2022.
Oh.
It's great.
What's it called?
The Pentaverit.
Wow.
It's a real catchy title.
He has the Austin Powers glasses on.
He's playing everybody.
Oh, man.
Pulling the full Eddie Murphy.
It's an Eddie Murphy situation.
All right.
Even the girl in the middle?
No, as you know, I travel and I work as an actor.
You hear about it all the time.
Hey, I can't talk about this right now, but I'm not in town because I'm acting.
Two movies announced officially today and yesterday, I believe, is one, David
Gordon Green made a
movie with Ben Stiller, starring Ben Stiller, called Nutcrackers, that your pal
Tim Heidecker
appears in as a cop.
Imagine me playing a cop.
You're going to want to run to the theaters for that.
That's premiering at TIFF.
Does anyone know what TIFF stands for, Matt?
I know.
Yes.
Tallahassee International Film Festival.
Toronto.
Toronto International Film Festival.
Yeah, I know.
We know.
Toronto.
And then from Alex Ross Perry, huge project, long time coming.
The official, I guess, documentary about Pavement, the band Pavement, who you
know from our show
exclusively.
We know them from cheating at tennis.
That's right.
That movie's coming with scenes throughout the documentary with these reenactments
of Pavement
and their record label, Matador Records.
Me and Jason Schwartzman playing the heads of Matador Records.
Are you off your, uh...
Did someone forget and leave Hooray for Hollywood?
Oh, no.
We're talking Hollywood, so...
Trying to set the scene here.
Set the stage.
That's coming to the...
Vic, you'll be attending this on my behalf.
Oh, really?
That's at the Venice Film Festival in Venice, Italy.
As long as I can afford the prices, the tickets.
Do all these directors need three names?
Is that one of your stipulations?
Well, it's like a shooter.
It's like Harvey Lee Oswald.
Lee Harvey Oswald.
Harvey Lee.
Why don't Jack Ruby get his middle name in there?
Well, he didn't shoot a president.
That's true.
Do we have the middle name of Crooks?
What's his first name?
Timothy?
Timothy Iama.
His middle name is Iama.
Iama?
I'm nada.
No, it wasn't Matthew Crooks.
Matthew Crooks.
Matthew, I am a crook.
Thomas Matthew Crooks?
He is a three-name.
Oh, God.
Who's that now?
Is that the Trump guy?
Yeah, Thomas Matthew Crooks.
Vic, let's hear that drop again.
The late, great Thomas Matthew Crooks.
What was the comment?
Which one?
I'd like you to post an official apology, and we're pausing.
We're now pausing all future projects with Captain Carlin.
I apologize for that hate speech.
But I am relieved now.
We know what happened on that stage, that horrible day.
No one's condoning what happened.
We now have official confirmation from Dr. Ronnie Jackson.
Dr. Ronnie Jackson wrote a letter telling us what happened with the ear and the
bleeding
and the blood everywhere.
Nobody can be more trusted than Ronnie Jackson.
Discredited, disbarred, whatever it is when you lose your medical license.
Quack.
Pill mill operator and Trump lackey.
Ronnie Jackson.
Congratulations.
No word from the hospital or the doctors that saw Mr. Trump.
So you can only assume.
There he is, doctor.
I saw there was some rally he did.
This was before the shooting, but he was like, there he is, there he is, Ronnie
Johnson.
Trump was like, got his name wrong.
Okay.
Anyways.
Now, speaking of which, on the show today, in an effort to show unity, we were
surprised
to find this out.
We were surprised, honestly surprised to find this out.
But we got a reach out from one of the true, I watched a lot of the Republican
convention
and it was, you know, there was a lot of, there was a lot of trouble, there was
a lot of wackos
there and stuff.
One of these guys actually kind of stole the show, kind of warmed our hearts,
probably disagree
with this guy quite a bit on things.
But it was Governor Jim Justice and part of his appeal and his charm was he
brought out
his little dog, sat up on stage with him.
Big dog.
Big dog.
Didn't leave it in the car.
Baby dog.
Name is, no.
Baby dog it was.
Famous.
And this dog just, you know, you can't not love this dog.
And so, Matt got an email from his office and said he'd love to call in.
So he's going to call in later with, hopefully with baby dog.
I want to say hi to baby dog on Zoom.
Let's see the clip real quick so people don't understand.
Oh yeah, sorry.
Did I set it up too much?
No, no, that was great.
Is this Captain Matt here?
Bottom line to every single thing that's going on in this great country today
is one thing.
We become totally unhinged if Donald Trump is not elected in November.
Okay.
There he is.
There's a little baby dog.
Big big bulldog.
All right.
No, but let's be respectful for when the governor calls in.
Wait, they're going to come unhinged?
What's he saying here?
What does that mean?
That doesn't worry about this part.
Country's going to be totally unhinged.
Just focus on that dog.
Don't worry.
If those Duke brothers don't get under control.
All right.
Thanks to Robbie Hoffman for giving me the dark shirt note last night.
We're trying something here.
It's terrycloth too, so it's just massively absorbing the sweat.
Beautifully absorbing it in a lot of ways.
Well, having sweaty pits is fashionable now.
You saw my image.
Yeah, Doug told me or showed me some evidence that apparently they are now
selling pre-sweat-stained shirts.
So that's exciting.
Yeah, and they're $300.
This is high fashion stuff.
I don't know if Matt want to pull that up.
I'm sure enough.
Was it in the 300?
Well, if he doesn't have it prepared, we can move on.
Scroll up in the chat.
Let me do this.
Let's go to the hothead hotline straight away.
Yeah, there's actually, it looked like there's a few bone pickers out there.
That's fine.
And listen, if you want to see more bone picking, I'll tell you, this patreon.com
slash office hours.
I'm very active on there.
If you want to know my thoughts on the convention or on Biden stepping down and
Harris and all this business,
we're not going to belabor.
We're not going to take too much time today.