Name: E from Eels, Mikaela Davis (Episode 304)
Uploaded: 2024-08-01T21:26:18.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'E from Eels, Mikaela Davis (Episode 304)' from Office Hours Live with Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-08-01. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'E from Eels, Mikaela Davis (Episode 304)' from Office Hours Live with Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-08-01. Transcript available.

E from Eels, Mikaela Davis (Episode 304)

I'm having a majestic...
Oh, Christy, Christy, Christy, Christy, Christy, Christy, Christy, Christy,
Christy, Christy.
It's the layup.
Somebody here.
Ah, good morning!
Good morning, everybody.
It is the 1st of August, 2024.
We are here in the Office Hours headquarters for another episode.
Another morning of Office Hours Live.
That's right, it's the program I began 18 years ago
where I'm able to express myself and my vision for your future
and really unite this country together
and make it a place for learning and tolerance.
We do that every day.
Now, we do the show every day, but only on Thursdays do we do it live
and do we do it for anybody in the public.
We generally, Mondays, we do it here in the morning
and we do two hours and the episodes are scrubbed.
It's always the same episode, too.
It's, we do the script, we follow the script to the letter.
We do that, we have a different script for each day
and we record them, broadcast them, film them,
have guests come in and then immediately they're scrubbed.
No backups, they don't exist on the cloud in a lot of ways.
But Thursdays we make it public and we do not scrub the episodes.
We keep it up for everybody to watch whenever.
You could be watching this in the year 2100.
Imagine that, Doug, the year 2100.
How many years away is that, Vic?
I wasn't listening.
So I don't know what numbers you said.
It would be 100 minus 24.
Oh, it would be 76.
76.
In 76 years from now, we'll be watching the show.
What do you think laptops will look like in 76 years, Doug?
Crystal clear.
There you go.
All day battery life.
Oh, it's going to go years.
When was the last time you charged your laptop?
It's been three years.
No, I'm talking about in 76 years.
Oh, it's a lifetime charge.
It's not even an issue.
They're going to reverse engineer the alien technology
that Pentagon is working with now.
Have you seen T2?
All right, let's welcome, speaking of the devil,
DJ Doug Pound.
Get horning.
I appreciate my wordplay there
because I said, speaking of the devil,
and you've got horns.
Hey, okay.
Oh, look at that.
Victor Berger IV behind me, as always.
What's the...
I'd like to get an attendance record on Vic
because I think it's near perfect.
Perfect attendance.
Perfect attendance.
I haven't been sick in a while.
I haven't had other jobs or gigs going on.
It's not like the rest of us.
Not, you know, I'm here.
So this show is a low priority for Doug and me.
Perfect.
But for Vic, it's...
This is my life.
This is what keeps me alive.
Perfect pepperoni.
Victor Berger, of course, great to have you.
And stop playing your keyboard over other songs.
Like when the band comes in, please.
I know, but sometimes I get bored and I gotta do...
Well, if you get bored, do something else.
All right.
Don't get bored on this show.
I'll just whistle in my head.
Do me a favor for the audience, for me,
don't get bored on this show.
I won't, I won't.
This show is my top priority right now, okay?
Right now.
Forever.
Starting now.
At this moment.
There's no other tours.
Until the show ends.
Yes, and we are winding things down
and this will be our penultimate show.
Matt.
One more after today.
One more after today.
Yeah, I knew that.
We didn't tell Doug and Vic yet.
No, but it's enough.
But you can still buy the archives.
I just said no to a huge job because of this show.
What was the job?
You can't reveal?
Construction.
Say what?
You can't reveal the job?
I can reveal it.
What is it?
Tiles.
Tiles?
That big building downtown with all the graffiti, tiling that.
Oh.
Captain Carlin wearing shorts today.
Let's make note of that.
You've been wearing shorts a lot.
Oh, what are you, Trump?
This is Trump these days.
He goes, well, they're the ones that are saying,
they're the ones actually.
You can't even see my shorts on the air, but after.
Wait, are there any pictures of Trump in shorts?
Yes, there's that famous one.
What's wrong with him playing tennis?
Oh, okay.
Oh, that's right.
That's like the only one I've ever seen, though.
J.D. Mandel.
Yeah, just any time.
I'll take him to all.
Oh, wait.
Look at that.
Yeah.
Is that real?
Yeah, that's a real picture.
That's real.
What a terrible question.
I can't see anything on my teleprompant as usual.
And I haven't put it up yet.
Here we go.
That's why he doesn't wear shorts.
Oh, well, I would love to watch him play tennis.
I didn't know he plays tennis, too.
Oh, he's a great...
I think he was in the Olympics this year.
I hate flies!
Yeah, he uses that.
You have one of those...
I have one of those rackets to kill flies with.
That's what he's doing right there.
I hate flies!
All right, we're not going to beat up on Trump
because he's having a rough couple of weeks.
Things are not going well.
He was on top of the world, like, two weeks ago.
He was, like, crushing it.
He got shot.
He got shot.
I don't like it.
Lived.
Somehow lived.
And had that big party in Milwaukee
where everybody was treating him like he was Mao Zedong.
Chairman.
The king, like a little, like a benevolent king,
he was sitting there bowing and praying
as people were lauding him
for being such a great granddad
and a great golfer.
And then, like, it's just the rug got swept under his feet.
He's flailing.
He's drowning.
And we'd love to see it.
We hope he does drown.
Metaphorically.
So much I could say about that.
But people hate it when I get political.
Somebody on Instagram said
that court jesters were never political.
You shouldn't be.
What?
I don't like it.
Who knows anything about what court jesters did or do?
Are there transcripts of their performances?
It must have gotten a little political at some point, right?
I thought that was the point.
They were the only ones allowed to criticize the king.
Right.
Keep them honest.
The origin of the jester.
Anyway, let's welcome our big special guest in the studio
where I'm so excited to have him.
Eee.
Not from Entourage.
Eee.
From the Eels.
What an honor.
Yes.
Good morning.
I want you to know that this show is my top priority for the next hour.
All right.
That's fantastic to hear.
Very happy to be here.
You've cleared your schedule.
Completely cleared for at least the next hour.
Now, you're not doing any other press during this appearance?
I will be texting during some of the boring parts, a text interview.
Find out what the boring parts are from Vic.
He seems to have a good read on it.
We did.
Now, I want to get into everything with you.
You came in, let me just be honest, and we do make this show about me.
Understandably.
The first thing you say to me was?
That, which part?
Tim Apple.
Huh?
Big fan, you said.
I said I'm a big fan.
And I'll tell you why that matters to me, because I am a big fan of yours.
Well, I love when that happens.
Yeah, friends, we call them.
I'm always very surprised by that, if someone I'm a fan of is a mutual fan.
It's always news to me.
Like, I wish I had known a long time ago.
I mean, it's like, I've never seen you in concert or anything like that.
I'm not, like, crazy about you, but...
I thought you were a fan.
Whip, whip.
Name one song, Tim.
Well, you know...
I go pretty far back with you, I think, as a fan goes, but there was a record
of yours that, for a time, and we all have records that are just, like, very
important in a certain period of time in your life.
And the Daisies of the Galaxy record.
Oh, yeah.
That one, I...
That was my favorite record.
I think it was right around, what was it, like 2000?
2000, yeah.
That was a long time ago.
That was right when I started illegally downloading things, you know?
I love records.
Oh, well, just my luck.
Yeah, I know.
Perfect timing.
You got into the music biz perfect.
Well, I got in at least...
I got in at the end of the good part.
Right.
Yeah.
So you had...
Well, let's get...
Should I do the interview now, Doug, or should we talk...
We should get a caller on...
Just do it.
Don't just jump in.
Calm down.
They have nothing to say, these fools.
Oh, hey.
Oh.
I'll say it.
I've always respected the Zoomers from the beginning of this show.
Don't.
Not me.
We do have a bone picker on the...
Oh, let's get to that real quick.
Get that out of the way.
Yeah.
Dave from Long Island, so you know...
Oh, God.
It's Long Island, guys.
Dave from Long Island, you're live.
Dave, give me a break.
What do you got, babe?
Babe.
Tim, can you hear me?
Yep.
Quick.
A quick bone.
Since Joe Biden has stepped down...
Here we go.
Will you, here and now, will you, here and now, agree to stop doing your
impression of Joe Biden?
It's terrible.
I say this with peace and love, Tim.
I say it with peace and love.
Your Joe Biden is Barack Obama...
Yeah.
...saying Jack.
Jack.
And that's it.
Look, here's the deal.
Exactly.
Well, yeah, it's fine.
Come on, babe.
You know what?
I'm going to...
I'm going to...
I take your point.
I'm not too proud to beg.
Now, I heard...
Speaking of that, though, I heard this Josh Shapiro.
You know who this Josh Shapiro is?
He's the president of Pennsylvania.
He's the governor of Pennsylvania.
I hear a little Obama in him.
Have you...
Oh, yeah.
Can you just play this clip?
Maybe find it, yeah.
Wait.
The pundits have been talking about it.
Oh, have they?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
He works hard.
Listen, I'm not fucking Rich Little.
Like, I don't make my...
That sounds a little bruised.
I don't make my bread and butter on impressions.
Yeah.
What do you do?
Who do you impress?
I mean, who do you impress?
I'm definitely not Rich Little.
No.
No.
All right.
You want to hear Josh?
And quick, Tim, I just wanted to get your take on the Timothee Chalamet, Bob
Dylan biopic,
and I'll take my answer off the air.
Love you guys.
Wow.
What a great professional call.
That's a pro move.
That is a great call.
And we can applaud that kind of...
Perfect 10 out of 10 call.
Now, I think you should close your eyes for this clip.
I'll tell you my...
And I won't get your opinions on this Bob Dylan stuff.
But let's hear this.
I think you need to kind of close your eyes to hear it.
And it's subtle.
I'm not saying this guy's Rich Little either.
I was here 248 years ago.
Years ago.
Just about 15 miles from where we are right now at Independence Hall.
Where patriots decided to declare independence.
Where patriots gathered in taverns and town squares.
Where?
To decide that they wanted to be able to choose their own future.
Their own destiny.
That work was here in the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania.
Pennsylvania.
All right.
Yes.
So it's just in that...
Like these guys, sometimes they just get a southern...
They get a little southern draw.
It's almost like he studied Obama's speech pattern the same way Melania studied
Michelle's book.
Speech.
Yeah.
Speech.
Obama, motherfucker.
Yeah.
Anyhow.
Thoughts on the...
What's it called?
A complete unknown?
Are you a Bob guy?
Oh, of course I'm a Bob guy.
Yeah.
Listen, I saw the trailer and I think it's sometimes pre...
It's not fair to judge something by the trailer because trailers are kind of a
science in tricking dumb people into seeing things, you know?
And so it does have like a paint by numbers kind of feel.
Did you see it?
The trailer?
I saw it.
And it does feel like this, you know, Dewey Cox, the Walk Hard movie, kind of...
It's exactly my first thought.
Permanently just atom-bombed the musical biopic.
Why are they still being made?
I don't, you know, I don't know what the point is.
Yeah, so it...
Which one's Bob Dylan in that picture?
I personally don't find Timithy, Timothi, Shalema that engaging of an actor.
Like, you look at Robert Redford, now there's an actor.
Well, I think he's doing a fine job for what the job is.
Yeah, I just, you know, there's some people that like...
And obviously he's incredibly successful.
What?
But for me personally, he doesn't radiate...
He doesn't have that thing that movie stars have where you just can't stop
looking at him.
He's kind of a dick.
He doesn't have the riz.
I just don't see why these movies get made and why...
When there's like the Scorsese-Dillon documentary...
You can just go to that.
Like, you know, yeah.
Or Masked and A