Name: James Adomian, Tall Juan (Episode 309)
Uploaded: 2024-09-12T23:08:05.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'James Adomian, Tall Juan (Episode 309)' from Office Hours Live with Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-09-12. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'James Adomian, Tall Juan (Episode 309)' from Office Hours Live with Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-09-12. Transcript available.

James Adomian, Tall Juan (Episode 309)

Good morning, everybody!
Welcome back, my friends, to the show that never ends.
Welcome, my friends, to the show that never ends.
Come aboard, come aboard, come inside.
Name the group.
Matt, name the group.
Yes?
No!
Emerson, Lake, and Palmer.
A lot of people are talking about Emerson, Lake, and Palmer.
The great Dave Weigel wrote a book with that as the name, I believe.
Yes.
Taurus is the album that people love.
Terrible, terrible group.
With a couple of good...
Oh, what a lucky man he was.
Oh, what a lovely man he was.
Oh, what a lovely man he was.
It is September 12, 2024 in Glendale, California.
God bless you.
Where we suffered a tremendous earthquake this morning in the Los Angeles area.
Everybody's barely recovered.
And much, many, many, many buildings have collapsed, as you'll see in the news
later today.
Many, many of the buildings that make up the iconic Los Angeles skyline have
collapsed.
Well, the mass future.
Complete disaster.
Complete disaster.
But we're going to keep doing the show.
It looks like a whisker.
Report live.
But there is disasters to the north of us.
We have these terrible fires up there.
Have a good life.
You, uh...
It looks like...
It looks like hell on earth up there.
Tarkus.
Oh, my God.
Tarkus.
Tarkus is the album.
What if we had, like, oh, yeah, an armadillo, yeah?
Like an armadillo.
But it's like a tank as well.
You know?
Like, can we do that?
Yeah, we can do it.
We can draw it.
I can have someone draw it, like...
Hey, Palmer.
Does your wife know how to draw?
I don't know.
That's not my best accent.
That's pretty good.
Emerson.
Hey, Emerson, put down that book of poems.
No!
We just call each other by the last day.
Emerson, get in here.
I'm talking about the album cover for Tarkus.
Don't you know we need a fucking drawing of a tank
that's also an armadillo?
What?
Why are we doing that?
No!
What does that have to do with Tarkus?
Is that the name of the armadillo, Tarkus?
Tim, I'll play one of the other ELPs, guys.
Oh, you're going to play one of the guys?
Yeah, ask me yes or no questions.
All right, gang, gather around.
We need an idea for the cover of Tarkus
What you got, Palmer?
What?
I said, what you got?
You got any idea?
Should it be a picture of us live?
Fuck off, Wanker.
You're doing it.
Okay, well, we'll work on that later.
All right, listen.
Fuck you, Wain, no...
I'm not going down to fucking Emerson Lake and Palmer Tangent.
I got too much to do.
You got James Adomian.
James Adomian coming in momentarily.
You know what I've been watching like mad?
Like a madman.
Not really like mad, but I watch all these on YouTube.
God bless YouTube and their extensive library of useless footage things to
watch.
I'm watching all the press regarding Steel Wheels.
Oh, no.
All the press conferences and interviews and rehearsal footage.
I don't know.
I'm nuts.
It's a nice time capsule, though.
They do this thing where they're like, the announcement of the record is them
arriving at Grand Central Station.
And, like, Kurt Loder's in there.
All right, we're moments away from the Rolling Stones pulling into track number
seven,
and we've got live footage of the train pulling in, and Keith goes, ah, we did
it.
We fucking did it.
Wouldn't Kurt Loder be the perfect name for a roadie, you know?
Yeah, that's true.
I mean, that is actually a really good...
It's actually true.
Thank you.
But, so check out...
Let me welcome my friends to the show.
Doug Lussenhop, DJ Doug Pound, to my right shoulder.
And this is a good horning.
We got new mugs, good horning, and I'm using this one here because I slightly
prefer Vic Burger.
Good morning to you, Vic.
Do you want to talk about your mug?
Yes, this is the mug.
You could go to the diner with it.
You can walk in with it, and they'll let you drink out of it.
It says, what sip, everybody, and it is for sale now.
Jump to that conclusion.
Oh, my God.
You don't have to play favorites, folks.
You can get them both.
It's a two-pack.
It's a two-pack.
And also, my friends, we have a shirt.
Who designed the shirt, Matt?
I'm not in the loop on that.
Bone jelly in Germany.
Copy that.
We got the natural, and we got the tie-dye up by you there.
Terrific.
So, we got a lot of great merch.
A couple other quick programming announcements, promotional announcements, then
we'll begin the show.
And welcome, James Adomian.
Please, you can order my record slipping away.
We're almost a month away from that coming out.
Big announcement.
I'll tell you something.
Let me put this in your ear.
If you're not on Patreon, you're going to miss some big news this weekend.
We got a surprise coming your way.
And that's at patreon.com slash officehours live.
As you know, you'll get my tour recap diaries.
You get my Saturday blogs.
You get a whole second hour of the show.
You get the rec center.
You get all kinds of sideshows that we've done.
And all for $5 a month.
It's the best deal in town.
What is this?
What is this?
We're getting dinged for it.
What is this song we're getting dinged for?
The last song on steel wheels, Tim, is called Slipping Away.
Get out.
Are you kidding me?
I swear to God.
I had no idea.
Yes.
This is special.
Well, please don't play it because we're going to get dinged.
I think it's a Keith song, too.
Slipping Away.
Hey, mate, I've got a new one.
This is about Slipping Away.
You can't believe it.
Oh, yeah, Slipping Away.
All right, I'm having fun.
That's official.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Let me get this out so we can welcome James Adomian in.
Hello.
The other...
The other big news.
The other big news is we're on Tuesday next week because I'm going down to
Nashville do this Americana Fest.
I don't even know what it is.
I'm playing all kinds of shows there from Thursday to Saturday doing all these
acoustic numbers and playing on showcases.
I'm going to be discovered like Mr. Trisha Yearwood.
You're going to go banjo?
Yeah, that's what Mr. Yearwood is what Garth Brooks calls himself.
He loves his ladies.
I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm a Christian.
So I'm going to be down there with Mike Huckabee.
We're going to be sucking each other's dicks.
Me and Mike.
I'm going to let his white beard cover my pubic area in Nashville.
All right?
I'm going to let Mike and his big white beard come down on me.
Mike Sucka-Dee.
Mike Sucka-Dee.
Mike Sucka-Dee.
Mike Sucka-Dee.
On that note, let's welcome to the show our great humorous guest, one of the
great comics of our time.
The great James Adomian.
James, get the hell in here, you son of a bitch.
Hey.
Good morning.
I heard you're going to Nashville, huh?
Mm-hmm.
Yep.
Yep, yep.
Yeah, it's good down there.
You got a...
You like that barbecue?
I love...
I don't like the food in Nashville.
I don't care for the food.
I don't care for the food.
Well, let's get him mic'd up.
Now we can speak to him.
Everybody gets a trophy.
By the way, let's do the...
Tim, I got some...
Do you want to do the voicemails?
Yeah, yeah.
James, you got one?
You got a sec?
Oh, you should hear this one.
Can I hold you for a sec?
I'm on hold.
I think he...
I'm on hold.
I'm on ice.
You got...
Can you hear us?
Yeah.
Oh, there we go.
I hear you.
If you need it up or down, I think I have to.
All right.
What we're doing...
We were off for...
Check, check, check.
We were not live last week, so we had our mailbox kind of filled up a little
bit.
We got a couple of messages.
We want to play one of them messages now?
Yeah, let me see.
I'll just grab one of these here.
Hi, Vic and Doug.
It's Bill.
I just wanted to thank you guys for being such a big fan of mine.
If you ever want to chat about Tim, slouch in my chair, and smoke cigarillos, I
would love
to have you on my show.
It's called Club Random.
Ever heard of it?
Yeah.
I'm hilarious on it.
Just remember, blurbigupiedadakwasterazies.
Toodles.
Say that again?
That's cool, that Bill calling.
Just so cray-cray.
Yeah, well, I don't get what he said at the end there.
That seemed like he might have been having a stroke.
Blurbigupiedadakwasterazies.
Toodles.
Must be smoking the clothes.
You never know who will show up on the...
James Adomian, you're here.
You're here.
Thank you.
I barely made it with the events of the morning.
What happened?
The earthquake.
All the buildings that were coming down.
I was in Los Feliz, it's devastated.
Is it really flattened?
Yeah.
Guys, chill out.
What the fuck is going on?
Fred 62...
Fred 62 has now been reduced to Fred 17.
Oh, no.
That's a good joke.
Yeah, because that is a 62-story diner.
House of Pies across the street, there was a wall of butter that burst out into
Franklin Avenue.
And everyone's flipping on it.
Yeah.
And the cars are...
Dude, it's just like a Michael Bay movie.
House of Lies.
Someone's always telling me that House of Pies has some of the best pancakes in
town.
That's what you go for.
You don't go for the pies.
Pies suck.
The suckers go for the pies.
Can I tell you something that, I mean, maybe we're going to get into the
special.
You got a comedy special out here.
Sure, if you have to.
What's it called?
It's not as good as this right now.
No, no.
We're in the moment.
This is one of those ones that you're going to want to re-watch.
It smells so good.
I've got a big endorsement to make.
I think one of the finest desserts I've had in a long time is coming from the
hostess family.
The hostess family.
And it is the cherry pie.
The hostess cherry pie that you get at any 7-Eleven.
I'm telling you.
I put $100 on it that you...
Carson, get me a fucking pie!
Now, you're going to have to take that before the Pie Council.
You see what their ruling is.
I'm telling you.
This is...
I had it on tour.
Every bite of this was perfect.
And here's the other cute thing about it.
You buy that pie.
Are you okay?
Are you having a stroke?
Yeah, well...
You just get some Novocaine done.
I'm just having a couple of pie bubbles.
Eating the dogs.
Stop with that.
Come on.
Be respectful.
They've got...
They call it cherry pies.
There's cherry pies.
They call them hostess, but it turns out that they're full of dogs.
Look.
Look it.
Here's the deal.
You open that box of the cherry pie.
There's no plastic wrap.
It's the pies right in the cardboard.
Yeah, I get that.
It's terrific.
They're taking our plastics and they're replacing them with canine body parts.
I'm telling you.
Eating the dogs.
Maybe I got a particularly fresh one or something, but it was a delicious treat.
Cherry with other natural flavors, folks.
You know what that means.
No, you don't...
Rin Tin Tin is inside the pie.
Stop it now, because I don't like you doing Trump, because that's Anthony Antimic's
whole thing.
You're the only one that knows this.
Everybody's doing it now.
I feel like everyone's doing it.
He doesn't want to do it anymore.
I know.
I saw that he's doing it, though.
He's doing it tonight.
He's doing it under the rest.
If you're in New York City.
Under the rest.
Right.
With a gun to his head.
Healing to protest.
Well, now, let's just say hi to somebody on Twitter.
I mean, on Zoom and figure out what the hell's going on on this show, because
we got a lot
to talk about.
Yeah.
I mean, good news.
Oh, I think we got a new guy.
Ty King.
Ty King.
We haven't really vetted today, so...
Hey, guys.
Can you hear me?
I wish that Tiger...
Loud and clear, buddy.
Hey, cool hat.
Awesome.
What does it say?
Podcasters?
Podcasters.
Yeah.
Arkansas podcasters.
Is that like a baseball team?
Minor league?
Baseball!
It can be.
I mean, anything can be a team, if you really think about it.
Was it like an offensive team name before they changed it to the podcasters?
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's always the case.
That's always the case.
Yeah.
Local podcasters.
Hey, I had a little game for you guys.
I know we don't have a whole lot of Swifties in your team, but you do have a
lot of comedians,
right?
Yeah.
A lot of titles of stand-up comedies could be Taylor Swift songs.
Ooh.
Oh, interesting.
So you're saying, what's the comedy special?
What's the Taylor Swift song?
That's right.
That's right.
All right.
I'm up for that.
I think that's a great ide