Name: Christina Catherine Martinez, Christian Lee Hutson (Ep 321)
Uploaded: 2024-12-12T20:37:21.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Christina Catherine Martinez, Christian Lee Hutson (Ep 321)' from Office Hours Live with Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-12-12. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Christina Catherine Martinez, Christian Lee Hutson (Ep 321)' from Office Hours Live with Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-12-12. Transcript available.

Christina Catherine Martinez, Christian Lee Hutson (Ep 321)

I love you so much.
I love you so much.
I love you so much.
The Grateful Dead, Pop.
I like having fun.
I like to laugh.
I like to meet people who can make me laugh.
I like having fun.
Yes, I like having fun.
Hey, quit that.
Quit it.
Must smack your fingers, boy.
Good morning, everybody.
It's Tim Heinecker.
Hi, everybody.
It's Tim Heinecker here for another episode of Office Hour.
Hello, everybody.
I'm debuting my new voice for 2025.
This is who I am now.
Good morning.
This is what my voice sounds like.
Good morning.
Yes.
Red rum.
Oh, I got something in my throat.
Careful.
Not red rum.
What a good morning.
What a fun morning it was for me.
I said, what a fun morning it was for me.
All right, everybody.
It is.
What a fun morning it was for me.
Oh, what a fun morning it was for me.
Episode 321.
You and I.
You and I.
That's right, ladies and gentlemen.
It's episode 321.
of Office Hours Live, the podcast television show, the first of its kind to
broadcast live
on YouTube, the first live stream YouTube talk show.
The number one podcast on all the charts.
The podcast that has just won the Nobel Prize for podcasts.
They have a new category, the Nobel Prize.
Pack your bags, Doug, Vic.
We're going to Sweden.
Pick up our prize.
That's right.
Vic Berger's in here.
Doug Lusenhop.
How y'all doing?
What's that?
What's that one?
I'm glad to be here.
Glad to be here.
Let's see if I can do it perfectly.
Glad to be here.
Who does that?
Well, take a guess.
Listen to the original drop.
Anyone have it?
That's a Doug one.
Oh, well, let's bring this up.
Glad to be here.
Glad to be here.
Guess what?
I'll tell you what happened, folks.
This is of going back 30 minutes ago.
30 minutes ago on this day.
Our friend Doug.
Thank you.
Glad to be here.
Oh, I know who that is.
If you can identify who that is, call in and write in the chat.
I think a lot of our friends know.
But here's what Doug and Vic use a software program called Farago,
which is how they operate all their drops.
And 30 minutes ago, Doug says with his little impish grin,
hey, there's an update for Farago.
Should I do it?
Everybody, except for Vic.
No, no, no, no.
I was here for this.
I'm a witness.
Well, Vic didn't hear me say it.
Vic said, yeah, do it, do it.
Wes and Luke and Matt and I said,
maybe just don't do any updates on his show, Doug.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Oh.
And then Vic, Doug did it anyhow.
Doug.
And guess what?
Doug, open up Farago and play me something.
Well, do it.
I can't.
It's not working.
Is drop, is that like the, is that the technical term?
I'm not a big techie.
Wait, hold.
It opened.
Whoa.
Hallelujah.
Wow.
Hallelujah.
See, that's all I had to do.
Oh, wait, it's not working, though.
It's not working.
Okay.
Fuck.
But you've got other workarounds.
We'll still do a tremendous show today.
But I'm going old school just off the finder like I did when I first started
doing Drops on the Champs.
But I would like to say Good Horning.
Why, why, why, why?
Good morning to you, Doug.
Oh, my God.
Now his whole computer's smoking.
I pressed that drop like a minute ago.
Oh, my God.
I'm going to quit.
It's a haunted, haunted drop.
We also have with us one of his last shows with Office Hours, Victor the Burger.
Victor Cheeseburger.
Little middle name Cheese.
Hello, everybody.
All my two catchphrases at once.
One of his last shows with us.
Rounding out the year with some of our final appearances from Vic Cheeseburger.
Oh, man.
Now what am I going to do?
I don't know.
Captain Carlin running the ship and Wes and Luke are back in the control room.
Nacho cheese.
Wes, I want you up to speed on these quantum computing that Google does and
also the drones flying over New Jersey.
We want your explanations on that.
Turkey, American cheese.
We have a very special in-studio guest today.
Christina Catherine Martinez is here.
Christina.
This is special.
Catherine Martinez, winner of the contest.
You're a big fan of the show and you won the contest to be here on the show.
What was in that fashion?
I tried watching one this morning while I was getting ready to see how you-
I had the vibes.
The vibes.
Is it consistent, the vibes?
No.
Okay.
You are a comedian and a clown?
Yes.
Was it the-
An actual clown, Doug?
Yeah, an actual clown, like, it's a spiritual discipline, it's not just yucks.
You know about this whole world, this, I don't know if my, explain, well, let
me just also
say we have the great one, Emmy-nominated, warm, Grammy-winning, extreme songwriter.
He was just, he was just, well, he was just inducted into the Extreme Songwriters
Hall of Fame.
The extreme.
Run by the band extreme.
The X Games songwriting competition.
His songwriting is off the charts.
Christian Lee Hudson is going to be playing a song from his new album and he's
joining us
for the second half of the show for Chit Chats about his life and his songs, so
we're excited
about that.
And-
Have you been watching The Great British Baking Show?
Yeah.
Are we getting into that now?
Is there, like, a better time to do that?
Well, I want to give people a little context.
Yeah, perhaps, maybe another time and another show, another day.
Just like another day?
Yeah.
We're going to let you broadcast live on the show on Christmas Day, so you can
be here.
We'll set up a mic for you.
I was a little tiny, tiny, bitty kid.
Well, I just want to give a little context about you, as our listeners might be
discovering
you here on the show.
Well, look, thank you.
That's a nice way of putting it.
You're a part of this documentary on PBS, The Art of Clown?
Yeah.
What's that about?
It was a series that they did called The United States of Comedy.
And they focused on a different comedian in a different city.
So I was the Los Angeles episode, but also the other layer, the other layers
that every comic
in the series is either an immigrant or a first generation immigrant.
Oh, okay.
So it's kind of also about that struggle of being caught between two worlds.
Are you the first generation American?
Yes.
So, I wasn't going to ask you this, but are you at risk of losing your
citizenship because
of this?
Did you see this thing where Trump's going to get rid of birthright citizenship?
Yeah.
Do you follow that?
What does that mean?
It means that even though I was born here, maybe because my parents weren't
born here,
that I could be...
Where would you go?
Back to Mexico?
Where is your family from?
I have family in Guadalajara, but I spend a lot of time in Mexico City.
So I could...
Is that real?
I mean, I'm just being honest here.
Is it a real city?
Yeah, it's a real city.
No, it's...
It's a real country, Tim.
I believe it.
We're a real people.
I've been there.
But is that a real...
Honestly, is this a real possibility?
Or does it seem like a bunch of...
I don't think it's a possibility, but I have talked to my boyfriend about like...
All right, guys.
Off the market officially.
Sorry.
A lot of guys signing off Zoom right now.
I've talked about it.
I was like, would you know, would you be...
Is that a possibility of like moving to, you know, the motherland?
Yeah.
He's been here for generations.
Okay.
Pilgrim.
Yeah.
He's a pilgrim.
I don't know what his motherland is.
John Smith the 10th.
Yeah.
And I was just in Mexico City for like three weeks.
I love it.
It's awesome, right?
It's awesome.
It'd be okay place to go.
Yeah.
You'd be okay.
I don't speak great Spanish either and I'm okay.
Yeah.
That's crazy though.
Well, the other thing is that...
That's even a conversation people are having right now.
Don't they...
People better watch your PBS special because now Elon wants to gut all these
things like
PBS, right?
PBS.
Does he want to gut it?
Get it on one of those machines where it just like plays the thing over and
over.
Maybe there's a lot of views on the dock that could...
Well said.
Cook the numbers.
I'm sorry.
Uh-oh.
What's the thing that watches it over and over?
What does that mean?
Well, I just...the thing with the dot and the thing that spins...
Do you not understand what that means?
I do, I do.
I don't.
I was gonna...I was gonna help you out with that but then I took the...
Do I look like I need help?
Well said.
We'll be right back.
I'm getting a little...
Let's make a call!
I do have a couple of promotional items of my own that I will be very eloquent
in speaking on.
Doug, help me out here.
But seriously though, I need help.
That was officially the name of our podcast.
But we went with Office Hours.
It was but seriously though.
But seriously?
But for real though?
For his body, yo.
By the way, we do have a...we have another special guest.
I'm gonna...I'm here...
I'm gonna play the role of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.
I've got another...
Has anyone noticed this?
I've got another zit in my nose.
I got...
Is it on the other side now?
No, it's...it's right...can you see the same thing?
Is it right on the tip?
Yeah.
If you put...
What?
What should I do?
I need...I need...I don't know what...I'm at a loss.
You need some concealer.
You need some Ben Nye theatrical makeup.
Every man should have it.
You guys are on camera every day.
I don't know why you don't wear makeup.
That's true.
There's no makeup people here.
No, I apologize for that.
There's no...I had to get up early, do my own makeup, because there's no...
There's no HMU.
There's no resources for immigrants and women in this country.
Well, it's not really about that.
It's not about that?
I mean, that's what they would like to say.
Watch out!
That's what they all say.
It's not about that, but it's just convenient that I come here and there's no
makeup artist.
Watch out!
And I knew that coming in.
Rudolph, you're hired.
It doesn't have anything to do with your ethnicity or your legal status in the
country.
We won't...we don't really know that.
We do.
It's hard to say.
It is not.
Tim, you're auditioning for a part of Rudolph?
What?
You're auditioning for the part of Rudolph?
Yeah.
All right, listen.
Rudolph, you're hired.
There you go.
It just looks like your nose is a little sharper.
That's what a zit at the end of the nose can do.
It looks like...you know what happened was Doug popped me in the nose.
Ping!
No, I...let me try that again.
Ready, Doug?
Ready, Vic?
No, that doesn't really work.
Oh, wait.
I got it.
There it is.
Ooh.
There it is.
Pop.
Somebody on the Patreon, thank God for Patreon, because somebody did recommend
this ointment
there and I forgot about it and I wrote on the chat, I said, "What the hell is
it?"
Again, and the gentleman was right on top of it this morning.
But now it's like, "I think I have to get a prescription for this."
What's it called?
Can you believe this?
I'll tell you what it's called.
Someone's...
We need free access to all medication.
I can't get...
I can't get...
I can't have to like...
I gotta go to the doctor and get a prescription now.
You know what...
How about just let me decide what I want.
You know what I've been doing?
No joke.
Beef tallow.
Yeah.
On the face.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Well, that's weird because this thing is called taro.
Taro...
M-U-P-I-R-O-C-I-N.
Tapioca?
Muprisin.
Mup...
How do you say the word?
Like, how am I supposed to say words?
Is it a nasal vestibule?
Is it topical?
Is it topical?
Is it topical?
Taro...
Mup...
Mup...
Why don't we make these words simple?
By the time you get the prescription, it's gonna be gone.
Too many...
Too...
I don't know.
I can't figure...
I'm not a doctor.
Who's in charge of naming all these medications?
Beef tallow.
So what do you...
Are you seriously telling me you put beef tallow on your face?
Yeah.
RFK Jr.?
What is tallow fat?
Does that mean fat?
Beef fat?
Beef fat.
Beef fat.
Yeah.
And they sell it in little jars.
It's very cheap.
It's very good for you.
And my skin's been glowing somewhat ever since.
If you're being...
I'm being dead serious.
Okay.
I will start doing this.
If you're being serious.
Yeah.
I wish I would have brought it because people don't believe me.
I have a little jar and it's...
Just beef tallow and usually some like mayb