Name: Holiday Extravaganza w/ Josh Groban, Kate Berlant, Andre Hyland, Phil Braun & More (Ep 322)
Uploaded: 2024-12-19T04:39:54.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Holiday Extravaganza w/ Josh Groban, Kate Berlant, Andre Hyland, Phil Braun & More (Ep 322)' from Office Hours Live with Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-12-19.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Holiday Extravaganza w/ Josh Groban, Kate Berlant, Andre Hyland, Phil Braun & More (Ep 322)' from Office Hours Live with Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-12-19.

Holiday Extravaganza w/ Josh Groban, Kate Berlant, Andre Hyland, Phil Braun & More (Ep 322)

I am ready to roll, like I'm ready for the revolution, it really is.
I am ready for the revolution, I am ready for school, we are getting guillotines
ready!
Yeah, very, very happy Christmas, and send me Jackie back, it's cold!
Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, see you soon!
I am ready for the revolution, I am ready for the revolution, I am ready for
the revolution,
my two front feet, my two front feet, see my two front feet!
I am ready for the revolution, I am ready for the revolution, I am ready for
the revolution,
I am ready for the revolution, I am ready for the revolution, I am ready for
the revolution,
Oh, well. Happy holidays, everybody. Are we on? Is this the show? Is it live?
You're on the air.
Wow. That was the most uninspired. Let's go off the air for a second. I have to
talk to Matt.
Uh-oh. And whoever put that shit show together. I can't get amped on that. Give
me the original
theme song. I need to get amped. I didn't get pushed. I see. Nobody pushed the
shit out
of me here. Okay, hold on. We're doing Late Night Tim. We're doing Evening,
Afternoon Tim,
Radio Tim, Tom Likas Tim. Get that shit off my ear. Get that shit out of my ear,
man.
This is good energy to start the Christmas show. What is this? We're going back
to the
beginning. Yeah, because I don't know what that was. That was no Christmas. It's
been fun.
Ladies and gentlemen, there it is. We need it. We'll get no Christmas later. We
need hot,
pure energy, pure cocaine. Everybody get your cocaine out. We're going to have
a party tonight.
Where you hiding it, Dad? Wow. I always knew where my dad was hiding his
cocaine. He always
put it in his stock drawer. Back in the stock drawer, I get in there and they'd
go out for
New Year's Eve. I get in there, I find that little bag of cocaine. Me and my
good friends,
we get high. Let's rock and roll. Well, well, well, ladies and gentlemen, it's
time to start
the show. We got a wonderful one for you today. We have with us in the studio,
the Office Hours
Orchestra Orchestra, ladies and gentlemen. That's Eric Paparazzi on the guitar
from many, many
groups. Plays with Cat Power, most notably. And on keyboards from a little
group touring the
country. Occasionally, Wilco, we have Michael Jorgensen. Is that correct? That's
right. Thank
you. They're going to be accompanying the night. Oh, watch how good these guys
are. Oh, come on,
ye faithful, joyful and triumphant. Oh, come. Oh, come. Come on me. Is that
what you're saying? Oh,
come on me, man. You will. Like nobody. Come. I'm going to come on you. Like
nobody's ever come on
before. I had a beat off. Come and get horny. You know, Vic, Mike Myers is in
production. Do you
know about this? In production on Austin Powers, a very horny Christmas, baby.
What? Is this new? Is this
for real? Wow. It's they're shooting it right now in Times Square. Can't wait.
With us always
spending the evening. Let's spend the night together is Doug, DJ, DJ, Doug Palm.
It's horning
somewhere. Good morning. Let me get a little drop of that if you get it. Oh,
sure. You know
how to get that one. I can find that. We got Vinker Burger with a bird on his
head. That's
right, everybody. I got hairy legs. I got hairy legs. I got hairy legs. I got
hairy legs.
Cheers, everybody. I got some dog shit eggnog here. It's the woke, uh, lefty,
uh, almond milk
gnaws that they're making me drink. And take the shit out of me. And it sucks.
And it's got
no, you know, there's, there's no mouthfeel to it. It's like water. It's like
powdered milk.
That's a bucked up shit right there, man. And I'm in a bad mood over it. I like
that shit.
You know, every year, ladies and gentlemen, my wife and I, we go out and we, we
work with
the community to find a little boy. My wife. Did you find a member? And some of
them boys
turn into my sons. Oh, let my wife do it. She doesn't work. Why don't you just
take your
balls out of the wife's purse. We find children who are having a hard time. My
name's Kevin.
This is my wife, Bev. And I'll tell you something, folks, the other day,
yesterday, we were scouring
the streets and looking for anybody that needed our help. And we came across,
uh, what was your
name again? Ryan. Ryan. I like Ryan. I mean, what's not to like? We call our,
we call him,
we, we picked him up and he was having a hard time where he was. Yeah. And, uh,
I said, Ryan,
we call it, my wife called him Ryan's hope, which is an old soap opera from the
seventies
and eighties. If you remember Brian, remember that Michael Ryan's hope. I never
watched it,
but I remember you, you know about it, right? Of course. You were going to
bring such magic
and joy to our family this holiday season, Ryan. I hope so. You know, when you
guys found me
under that overpass, I mean, where were you at? Where was I? I was, where was
that? I mean,
not location, where were you at, you know, with your, Oh, with my life? Well, I
was under,
I was under an overpass and I mean, truth be told, we can get raw and real
about it. I had,
I had a girlfriend when we were younger. How old are you? Yeah. 13. Yeah. And,
um, when,
uh, I don't know, you know, things got hot and heavy and we didn't use
protection and we,
I'm saying how old are you? I thought I was going to ask you how old you are
now. I thought you said
13, which is what I'm hoping you'd say. And, um, sorry, it's hard for me to
talk about,
but we had, we had, uh, we, we had unprotected sex and we had a highway and we
had to give it up
for adoption. And sometimes I like to go back and visit it. And I was just kind
of trying to get
back in my kid's life. Oh, okay. I thought you were 13. It doesn't mean I can't
have a kid. No,
I know. I see. Okay. So you are 13 cause I can't have no adults living with me.
No. Yeah.
You're Ryan's hope. Yeah, exactly. I mean, that's what kind of,
you're going to bring joy and meaning to our Christmas this year.
Yeah. It's kind of like the, um, what was that? Uh, Michael Orr movie, the
blind side.
It's kind of like that. Yeah. Cause I'm pretty tall for my age. Yeah. Are you
playing your master
of sports of some kind? You know, but I think my height will just get me there.
There's a couple of local
teams in Los Angeles, the Clippers and the Lakers. And I think they got new
players every
year. You know, we're going to train with you. I got a lot of time. I'll tell
you what,
I'll be out there on the court with you Christmas day. Yeah. You're going to be
my Sandy Bullock.
That's going to be. Let's take a call.
All right. Stenson's got their hand raised. Let's see what they have to say.
And ladies and gentlemen,
this is the final show of the year. We will, uh, try to end on a high note. Vic
Stenson,
you got to unmute, but Tim, I want to say thank you to you and your lovely wife
for taking me in.
You've said that many times already. Yeah. But never on the air in public. I
want the world to know.
Right. Well, I'm going to teach you so many things. Oh, I bet.
You're going to be my focus, my priority going forward. You're going to teach
me how to learn
and sleeping down. Laying down. I mean, who's this now? This is Stenson. Stenson.
Are you doing all
right? I'm doing all right, mate. How you doing? Where are you coming from?
Christmas. I'm coming
from Knoxville, Tennessee, baby. All right. Rock and roll. Rock and roll. Oh,
check out my Green Day
shirt. Right. Yeah. I got one of those. You guys want to, you guys want to see
where I work? Are you
shooting a scene in the West Wing right now? That's what I'm doing. Yeah. Check
it out.
Fucking roll. Are you in the hospital? Hell yeah, Tennessee. No, I'm at work. I
work at a home
shopping network. No way. I'm a director. What's for sale today? Really? We got
a 14 carat yellow gold
Bali stud earrings set of three. Flip your camera. Let's see that shot you got.
For $79.99. I don't
know if I flip the camera. Yeah, I'll try. You know how to do this? Whip. Whip
pin. I know how to flip it.
Sure. There you go. Look at that, folks. Can you zoom in?
Is this live right now? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We're live on. Yeah. We're live on
air.
Of course. They're not doing prerecorded shopping on the channel. How often
does Paul Dean come
in there? She did have a jewelry line here and we have a kitchen set up that we
made for
her, but she's not back anymore. Would you get fired if you walked on to set
live right
now? Uh, no, not at all. All right. Get out there. I'm a director, dude. We're
going to
go live on the home shopping network. What channel should I don't know? I don't
know if I'll be
on air, but I can walk on the city at least. Yeah. Let's say hi to those people.
They're
walking these. How you doing? Merry Christmas. Hi there. I'm Tim Heidecker. I
was in Bridesmaids
2012. I don't know if you remember me. Hi guys. Howdy. Stop doing that. Sorry
about
that. Ladies. Guys are making fart sound effects here. Hey, let's say hello.
Wow. Yeah. We
did. We did our deed. All right. That was fun. Are you guys in need of a
director? Wes, pack
your bags. You guys are going to do a job switch. I mean, I do live TV. I know.
I know.
I don't know. You just walked onto a hot set without any care. Yeah. That's not
exactly
the most respectful. I don't know if that's going on your resume. You're real.
No, no, no,
no, no, no, no. I was quiet. I've got my ear pods in. They didn't hear me. Oh,
you're
spoiling it. All right. Listen, we got to get going. I'm not going to make the
whole show
about you and your home shopping network. Okay. Okay. Well, check us out. Buy
some stuff so
I can get paid next week, please. All right. Can you, has anyone in this room
ever bought
one thing off of a home shopping network? No. I used to call local sports shows
and just
like do pranks, but I never bought anything. I buy a lot of shit on Instagram.
Yeah. I don't
do that. I've heard people getting like. I got ripped off so many times. Bye
bye. I bought
a gun. All right. You didn't really? I gave it to some kid. I don't know. Did
you give
it to Ryan? Bye forever. Matt, I feel like I just jumped into the middle of the
show. Is
there anything I need to talk about this show? There isn't really any business.
I mean, you
should probably introduce the topic to all of you. Yes. We're looking for the
worst of the
year. I get, of course, embittered by best of lists that come out. I just often
don't agree.
Sometimes there's just stuff that's universally beloved and for good reason.
But I will say if
you were watching last week, the great Christian Lee Hudson recommended a
record. I can't stop
listening to this thing. And I can't remember what it's called. That's not the
worst of the year.
No, I'm just I'm saying there are great things out there. It's called this is
Lorelei. That's the
name of the album or that's the name of the group. Whoo. I mean, I'm so I can't
stop listening to the
record. It's great. I got a worst. I got a worst. Triple A switching to AI for
their dispatch. Tell
me about this. I didn't hear about. I was stopped for years. Triple A is like a
steady thing. That's
always good. Your car is screwed up or whatever. And you talk to a human and
they send someone out
and fix it. And now it's just some like bullshit AI. And then they just give
you updates. And the
last time I did it, they just didn't give me updates. And I was like, I guess
there's no
update. And then eventually I went and did some stuff and came back to the
street and I saw a
triple A truck driving away. I flagged it down. I was like, oh, sorry. I just
went to the store.
I thought I had time. And he was like, what are you talking about? I was like,
my car is broken
down over here. He's like, I'm not here for you. And I had to talk to it. I
just so happened to catch a
human. I know it's an exciting story. This is the worst of, I don't know. It's
not going to be a good
story. Anyway, AI sucks. On triple A. Triple A. I did that joke last tour I did.
It was, what was
it, Vic? AI. AI. AI. AI. And then something. Well, it's an algorithm now.
Anybody can make that joke.
That's true. I'