Name: Kate Berlant’s New House was DESTROYED
Uploaded: 2024-12-21T13:00:51.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Kate Berlant’s New House was DESTROYED' from Office Hours Live with Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-12-21. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Kate Berlant’s New House was DESTROYED' from Office Hours Live with Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-12-21. Transcript available.

- Hi, how are you?
- Hi, how are you?
- Kate Berlant, ladies and gentlemen,
has popped by the old office hours headquarters.
- Can't stay away.
- You were upset.
You called me in tears the other day.
- And I'm actually having my first adult TMJ flare-up
because of the stress of this event
created a jaw event in my life.
I've been banned from crunchy food.
I can't have crunchy food at Christmas.
- By who?
- My dentist.
I get an emergency one and it's on twice in one day.
So again, just the headline,
I'm having a TMJ flare-up due to a chimney sweep event, okay?
So here's what happened.
It's Christmas, right?
It's the holidays coming up.
It's my first Christmas in this new place that I'm living.
I go, Christmas is coming.
Let's get the fireplace cleaned.
I talk to the chimney sweep, he arrives early.
This guy, he calls me early, immediate.
And this is a sign to everyone.
Listen to your intuition.
When your body rejects something, listen to that.
I pick up the phone, get out.
No, bad.
I beat it, I feel, I go dark energy, darkness.
I had the intuitive download, get out.
Bad sweep, bad chimney sweep.
So imagine this, I come out and I go, I start to notice there is...
You see it on your furniture.
He blew soot all over my house.
That's just from you walking around?
Okay, let's not have too much time with that on because people go crazy with
that.
No, people get weird, yeah.
I say to him, I go, oh, whoa, there's soot on everything.
I have a white couch, guys.
I have white curtains.
And I said to him when he was setting up, I go, do you have more drop cloths or
anything?
He goes, no, oh, it'll be fine.
It'll be fine?
I trust him, he's a man.
He has, I go, I leave the room, I come back.
There is a film of sweat on the white couch, on the curtains, okay?
He said to me, maybe your house is dirty.
Ouch.
I go, excuse me, bitch?
What?
He says this to you?
He says, maybe your house is dirty.
He also asked me if I was Jewish.
That's a separate, but something's going on here.
You know what I'm saying?
Wait, are you?
He goes, oh, yeah.
He goes, dirty Jew with a Jewish shirt.
Oh, my God.
And then I have to be the Jew going, I want my money back here.
Yeah, exactly.
He's cornered you.
He got me, you know, he did me dirty.
So I said to him, because I don't, I don't enjoy it.
I've never had a negative experience.
I've never had it.
What?
You, you've talked to me about this.
Like, last year you said you came up to me at an event.
Yeah.
And you said, you know what's crazy about me?
I've never had a negative experience.
I'd say, well, just stick around, honey.
Stick around, because something's around the corner, believe me.
Do you see how upset I'm getting?
Not really.
Yeah, I'm actually fine.
But listen, the point is, I just want my money back.
Full money?
What?
Full money, honey.
Matt, what's your ruling on this?
Of course, give a refund.
What do you think, right?
Of course you get a refund.
You get a refund.
I paid you to come into my home, spray spit everywhere, ruin my day.
And they blocked me.
What?
Yeah.
Look, I'll try to call them right now.
Get in the front.
In the name of Jesus Christ.
I'm sorry.
Wow.
They've blocked me.
Maybe they just went out of business.
Hey, Doug, Doug.
They went up in smoke.
Dirty Deeds, Dr. G.
Dirty Deeds, Dr. G.